A Lady of High Regard (32 page)

Her mother smiled, but it was not at all condescending. “I have endured a great deal worse.”

“Truly?”

Her mother put aside her work. “There have always been events that seemed quite horrendous. Some were of my own making and were never as bad as they seemed. Others were definitely thrust upon me. I think after losing your brothers, nothing else has ever seemed as frantic or as difficult.”

“I hadn’t thought of it that way, but of course you are right.” Mia always felt sad when her mother spoke of the boys who had died before Mia had ever been born.

“A mother fears many things in life. When she is expecting her children, she fears she will miscarry or her children will be delivered stillborn. Then when they survive the birth and begin to grow, the fears are numerous. You worry about their health—about their safety. Every obstacle, every innocent situation looks as though it might be something that could rob you of your loved one.

“With the boys, sickness took them and my fears came true.”

Mia had expected her mother to cry with such memories, but she looked amazingly contained, without a hint of tears. “They were so little—I don’t know how you bore it,” Mia said sympathetically. Her brothers had died within two years of each other—Stuart to yellow fever and Tomlin to measles.

“It was hard. I miscarried a baby shortly after Tomlin passed away. I figured tending him with the measles had somehow infected the baby. But it brought to mind how much more I cared for Tomlin, because I had five years of memories with him. It made me think how the unborn child had been loved and cared for, but unknown to me—to your father. And while it hurt to lose him, it hurt so much deeper to lose Tomlin. In turn, Stuart was dear to us, with precious memories that we would always carry, but again he had only been with us for two years. I realized that in degrees, my children became infinitely more dear to me as the years went by. And in realizing that, my fears only grew.”

“What did you do?”

“When you girls were born, I worried about everything and enjoyed nothing. It finally came to a place where your father had to speak to me about it. He showed me how in trying to protect those I loved, I was driving them away. Gradually, I tried to release my fears to God. To let Him handle the details and know that whatever happened, He would see it through. Just as He’s seeing this situation through.”

“Thank you, Mother, for sharing that with me. I am trying not to fret, but I know that Father and Garrett would not be there except for my part in this.”

“But, Mia, you did a good thing.” Her mother got up and went to the sofa where Mia sat. Taking a seat beside her daughter, Aldora Stanley took hold of Mia’s hand. “Those women . . . oh my . . . what can I say? I had no idea that such a thing was going on in my own city. I had no idea.” She looked to Mia and now there were tears. “When your father first told me what was happening, I was mortified that you should have been exposed to such ugliness. I wanted to shield you from those kinds of things . . . but there was no one to shield those poor women. Perhaps my own indifference or naïveté only added to the problem.”

“Until I went to work for
Godey’s,
I was quite content to entertain myself with matchmaking and sharing tea with my friends,” Mia admitted. “I thought the world a lovely place, full of wonderful families like my own. I have to admit, it hasn’t been easy to open my eyes to the reality of our world. To begin to understand how poverty so often forces people into lives of depravity and hopelessness. It eats away at their hearts like a disease.”

“Then we must work to help put an end to such a disease,” her mother said. “I no longer wish to be blind to such things. I want to help.”

Mia embraced her mother tightly. “I’m sure with your help, poverty would not dare remain in Philadelphia.”

Her mother gave Mia’s shoulder a squeeze. “It is you from whom it will run.”

Mia shook her head. “I used to think I got my bravery and boldness from Father, but now I know differently.” She pulled back and smiled at her mother. “It has taken me a lifetime, but I finally see the truth.”

“And what is that?” her mother asked.

“I am my mother’s daughter.”

“Well, the matter is resolved,” Mia’s father said upon his arrival home. He looked no worse for the wear and showed no signs of distress.

“Is everyone safe?” Mia asked, desperately wanting to know that Garrett was unharmed.

“Everyone is fine. Mrs. Smith and her son are back home, and Barrill has been arrested. Things are bound to improve now.” He rubbed his stomach. “I do hope you have a wonderful supper planned. I’m famished. I find heroic work takes a great deal of energy.”

Mia laughed, while her mother went to him. “I have a marvelous supper nearly ready. I shall hurry the cook and see that we eat within ten minutes. Will you survive that long?”

He gently touched her face. “Just barely.”

Her mother laughed as she left the room. Mia felt such a tremendous sense of relief. “Thank you, Father. I’m so glad to have this resolved.”

“I am too. No doubt the women of the docks will see their lives made easier without Barrill in charge of rent collections. It’s thought that the man managed to take nearly two thousand dollars for his share.”

“How outrageous! And what of the other children he’s forced from their mothers?”

“We demanded he give an accounting of that. A deal of sorts was made to go easier on him if he were to help us recover those children. Of course at first he denied any involvement, but given Mrs. Smith’s willingness to testify to the contrary and to round up the mothers whose children had been taken to do likewise, Mr. Barrill finally conceded. He is writing a full account for the police as we speak.”

Mia sighed. The very thought of the lost children being returned to their mothers was more than she could have hoped for. “This is such wonderful news. Just imagine if those children can be brought home—what a miracle that would be.”

Her father sobered. “It might not happen, Mia.”

“I know you’re right. I have learned a hard lesson about the world and the people in it. I don’t want to be hopeless about such things, but rather I want to be educated and to educate others. I’m blessed to work with Mrs. Hale, as I feel this is a calling of the Lord. He would have us right the wrongs, Father. I know He would.”

“Yes, but He would have us practice sound judgment and wisdom as well. Wise counsel is suggested over and over in the Bible. Please consider it before doing anything that would alter your life.”

Mia smiled. “Then perhaps you should give me wise counsel about matters of the heart—about my heart.”

“Supper is ready,” her mother declared. “Cook says she has taken extra care to prepare a roast that will melt in your mouth.”

Mia’s father put his arm around her shoulder. “I can offer better advice on a full stomach. Let’s eat first, then discuss love.”

CHAPTER 25

I
should be happy,
Mia told herself the following day as she drove the buggy to church. Barrill was no longer a threat, and life would improve for the seamen’s wives.

Sarah Hale was pressing for laws that would protect the innocent from such matters.

Even her mother and father were concerned about aiding the poor. Her mother had suggested that they provide some type of community help for those less fortunate than themselves. Mia’s father was already planning to check into what resources were already available and what specific needs they could fill.

I should be happy.

But Mia knew the real source of her pain was Garrett. Her father had been rather elusive the night before when Mia wanted to know what she should do. Whereas before he had seemed quite willing to advise her to speak to her mystery man, last night he just seemed amused and suggested something to the effect that patience would be her ally.

“But I don’t need an ally,” she muttered. “I need Garrett.”

Pastor Brunswick was tidying up the church cemetery when Mia arrived. She secured the horse and went through the large iron gates to where he stood.

“Mia, this is a surprise. Were you planning a meeting this morning?” He looked confused.

“No. I came to talk to you.”

“What can I do for you?”

Mia ran her gloved fingers over the smooth headstone that simply read
Broadman.
“I find myself feeling rather confused.” She looked up and found his sympathetic expression encouraging.

“Why don’t we sit on the bench and you can tell me what this is all about?”

“I’d like that,” Mia said, following the pastor’s lead. “I’m sorry if I’m interrupting you.”

“Not at all. That’s what I’m here for. Now tell me what’s bothering you.”

Mia pursed her lips together and tried to figure a way to explain herself. “I’m selfish. I find myself wanting something, and it clearly belongs to someone else. I’ve tried not to think about it, but it haunts me. Last night I couldn’t even sleep.”

“Well, that does sound serious,” he commented. “Can you explain in a little more detail?”

Mia folded her hands and looked at the ground. “I’ve always loved to play matchmaker and see people happily settled. I helped both of my sisters to find their husbands, and many of my friends would tell you that I introduced them to their mates. I suppose I’ve just always loved the notion of love.”

“That hardly seems a serious crime. God himself is love, and I believe He would not fault you for such activity.”

“Yes, well . . .” Mia paused, feeling somewhat uncomfortable. “I’ve managed to fall in love myself. I didn’t mean to, nor was I looking for it, but now that it has happened I’m most unhappy.”

“Unhappy? But I do not understand. I would think such a thing might delight you.”

Mia looked up. “You would think that, wouldn’t you? I mean, I did. I figured that one day I would find that one special man and we would live happily ever after, just like in the fairy tales.”

“But that is not the case?”

She sighed and gazed out across the headstones. “No. I’ve fallen in love with a man who loves someone else.”

“Oh, I see. That does present a problem.”

“You may be assured of that.” She fell back against the bench. “The worst of it is, and you may have already guessed this, I introduced them. Well, not exactly. They were friends from long ago. But when she came back into our society, I thought she might make a lovely companion for my friend. What I didn’t realize—what I hadn’t planned on—was falling in love with him myself.”

“I see. So now they are in love? What proof have you?”

“They plan to marry,” she replied, shaking her head. “I suppose I’m just very good at what I do.”

Pastor Brunswick chuckled. “I must admit I have seen evidence of such things. Still, perhaps it’s not too late. Are you certain they plan to marry or is it merely rumored?”

“She was in our company at church on Sunday and announced to me along with several of my friends that they plan to marry. And I believe I accidentally witnessed the proposal. I was driving by her house when I happened to see them embrace in broad daylight—right there on the curb. I cannot account for it being for any other reason than a proposal.” Mia felt tears come to her eyes. “I wish I’d never allowed myself to love him.”

“Does he know how you feel?”

“No, not actually. I’ve tried on occasion to tell him, but something always interferes or I just get scared. I know it sounds silly; a person should just be able to speak what’s on their mind. But in truth, I didn’t know what was on my mind until recently. I didn’t realize that I was in love with him. Now if I declare my heart, I don’t know what might happen. I don’t want to be embarrassed, and I definitely don’t want to be laughed at. Should he think it all just good fun or the silly notion of a younger woman . . . well . . . I would be heartbroken.”

“But you are already heartbroken. Maybe it would be best to go to this man and confess your feelings. It seems to me you have nothing to lose.”

“I suppose.” She dabbed her gloved fingers to her eyes. Pastor Brunswick did have a point. If she let Garrett go without saying something, she would have only herself to blame. Besides, didn’t she know him well enough to know he would never intentionally hurt her?