A Lady's Choice (16 page)

From the minute he saw the article in the newspaper that Sarah would be addressing Memphis suffrage supporters at the Orpheum Theater on Saturday night, Alex knew he would be in attendance. He pulled his watch from his pocket and glanced at it then back to the stage, where chairs were arranged for the speakers to sit. He hoped when Sarah took her seat she wouldn't be able to see him huddled on the back row.

He glanced around the theater as the people entered and took a seat. It surprised him to see some of Memphis's leading citizens at the rally. Obviously not everyone held the same views as did Mr. Buckley. So far he hadn't revealed the changes taking place in his life to Mr. Buckley or to Larraine, whom he now had dinner with two or three nights a week. He wondered what they would think about his presence here tonight. He might not have to wait long to find out if someone attending tonight told his boss about seeing Alex here.

Alex sighed and rubbed his hand across his eyes. It didn't matter. The truth was going to come out sometime, and he had a feeling it wasn't too far off. The change in him had been happening ever since Christmas when he and Edmund had talked.

Every time he thought of that day, Alex's face burned with shame. He'd had an entirely different picture of himself than what Edmund had painted, and it sickened him now to think how right Edmund had been.

All his life, Alex had taken pride in the fact that he would never discriminate against a person because of social standing, race, or culture. He'd brought Augie, the son of the community's drunkard, home and treated him like family because that's what Jesus would have done. He had taken food to the tenant farmers when they had no money and never made any difference whether they were black or white. Somehow, though, he'd never thought about his indifference to the plight of women. Not until Edmund had pointed out how much Jesus loved women.

Since the day they'd talked, Alex had read his Bible and prayed about the things Edmund had said. He realized how wrong he'd been in his uncaring attitude, and he understood how that must have hurt Sarah. If only he could go back and do it all over again— but he couldn't, and she had moved on.

A flurry of activity on the stage caught his attention, and he sat up straight as the speakers for the evening entered the stage. When Sarah stepped from behind the long curtains pulled back at the stage entrances, he thought his heart would burst. She wore a blue dress the color of the eyes that haunted his dreams and had her hair piled on top of her head. She smiled and took her seat.

Her gaze drifted over the crowd and came to a stop on someone a few rows from the front in the middle section. Alex craned his neck to see who she smiled at, and his heart dropped to his stomach. A man waved at her and then blew her a kiss. Alex had seen his picture in the paper enough to recognize business owner and socialite Roger Thorne. Alex gritted his teeth and directed his attention back to Sarah.

The moderator for the evening, a middle-aged woman with white hair, stepped to the podium. “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Mary Windsor, and on behalf of the Memphis Suffrage Association I am pleased to welcome you to this rally.”

She began to introduce each of the individuals seated on the stage, but Alex tuned her voice out. He only had eyes and ears for Sarah. The speaker turned to Sarah last. “And speaking for the first time for our organization, Miss Sarah Whittaker, a teacher at Mrs. Edna Simpson's School for Girls. As you probably have heard, Miss Whittaker will be leaving for Washington next week to work with Alice Paul and other representatives of the National Woman's Party. Before she leaves, we thought you might like to hear her thoughts on the plight of women in America.”

Sarah acknowledged the announcement and the audience's applause with a smile and a nod of her head. Then she turned her attention to the first speaker who was taking his place behind the podium. Alex tried to concentrate on the panelists as they came one after another to stand before the group, but all he could do was stare at Sarah.

Then he heard her name called from the podium. She stood, smoothed her satin dress with her hands, and stepped forward. Alex sat up straighter and gripped the chair arms as he studied her every movement. She glided to the lectern, took her place behind it, and let her gaze travel slowly across the people seated in the auditorium.

“Good evening.” She paused as if waiting for an answer.

After she'd swept the group with her gaze, she reversed it and backtracked over the assembly. No one in the audience moved. As if she realized the hypnotic effect she had on the group, she leaned closer to the podium, a somber expression on her face. “I hesitate to add more to my greeting than to say good evening. Proper etiquette decrees that I acknowledge those in attendance and address you as ladies and gentlemen. However, I didn't come here tonight to charm you with empty words. I came in hopes of stirring your souls in protest of the injustice that is taking place in this land. The greeting I long to give you burns within me as I face you.”

A hushed silence met her statement. “I prefer to greet you as fellow citizens, but I find that impossible. The voices of early suffrage leaders like Susan B. Anthony, Belva Lockwood, and Elizabeth Cady Stanton ring out to tell women we cannot be called citizens. We are not citizens of this country because our government has never afforded us that distinction.

“Government demands that we, as female members of American society, follow laws made by men and work for wages determined by men. In factories where men and women work side by side, men's wages often triple those of women. Those who seek justification for unequal pay tell us that women provide a supplementary income.”

She paused and curled her lip into a sneer. “Tell that to the widow who must feed and provide for her children. Tell that to the young girl taking care of elderly parents, and tell that to women who labor ten to twelve hours a day and care for their families after work.”

Applause rang out through the auditorium, and Alex glanced at the people near him. They nodded and clapped as they stared at Sarah. Near the front, a few women stood to their feet and held their hands high in the air as they clapped.

Sarah waited until the applause had died before she smiled and swept the auditorium with her gaze again. “Now I'm not naïve enough to think that any of the women here tonight spent ten hours in a factory today. Oh no. I look around and I see women dressed in the latest fashions, and I know those gathered here represent the privileged of our city. Some of you are blessed to live in comfort while others live in luxury.” She paused for a moment, as if a sudden thought had popped into her head. “Perhaps some of the ladies here tonight own houses, land, or businesses. You pay taxes according to the law, but you have no voice in making laws that dictate what must be paid.”

Alex sensed a rippling of movement in the audience. “Some of you own businesses with male employees. Does justice prevail when your earnings pay wages to men eligible to vote, and the government denies you, the company owner, that same basic freedom?”

“No!” The shouted word seemed to erupt from every corner of the theater.

Sarah leaned forward, her hands gripping either side of the podium, and frowned. “How long must we wait for liberty? How long must we labor for justice? How long will we tolerate a government that delegates women to the lowest level of society? We must unite and press our legislators to raise us to the level of citizenship we deserve. Until they do, we remain as servants to this nation, not citizens.”

Sarah raised her fist in defiance. “I say to you, fellow servants, how long must we wait before Washington listens? How long must we wait?”

Sarah stepped back from the podium, and the audience bounded to their feet. Alex rose with them. A woman to the left of the stage cried out, “How long must we wait?”

The hall vibrated with shouts as one after another voices joined the chant, “How long must we wait? How long must we wait?”

Sarah stepped to the side of the podium and bowed. The cries rose to the balcony, and the crowd clapped in rhythm with the words, the cries growing louder.

Alex clapped along with the crowd as Sarah walked back to her seat. She glanced down to where Roger Thorne sat and smiled. The acknowledgment sent a chill down his spine. If he had been hoping he could change the situation between Sarah and Roger, he now knew the truth.

Sarah had a new love in her life, and it was the cause she served. Whether or not her life included Roger Thorne, he didn't know. But after hearing her speak, Alex realized she was lost to him forever. And he had no one to blame but himself.

He stepped into the aisle and walked from the theater with the applause for Sarah's speech still ringing in his ears. Sarah had moved on. Maybe it was time he did too.

On Sunday afternoon Sarah wandered through the house trying to find something to occupy her time. Her notes to the teacher taking her class on Monday were complete, her trunks were packed, and the letter was written telling Uncle Charlie and Aunt Clara where she would be over the next few months. With nothing to do and Mrs. Simpson and Roger away for the afternoon, maybe a Sunday afternoon nap would be in order.

She walked to the staircase, but before she mounted the first step, a knock sounded at the door. Dora came hurrying into the entry, but Sarah held up her hand. “I'll get it, Dora.” The maid nodded and retreated.

Sarah smoothed her hair into place and put a smile on her face before she opened the door. The smile slowly dissolved as she stared up at Alex Taylor filling the doorway. His eyes lit up with a smile that reminded her of the day he'd tipped his baseball cap at her.

“Alex.” His name tasted sweet on her lips, and a thrill coursed through her veins.

Alex's eyes devoured her. “Hello, Sarah. I'm afraid I've given you quite a start. Maybe I should have called first, but I was afraid you wouldn't want to see me. May I come in?”

She stared back at him and took in every detail. His hair, so unruly the day of the ball game, lay neatly combed, and he held a hat in his hand. His brown suit with vest and matching tie accented his dark eyes, and the smile that curved his lips reminded her of a long-ago encounter. The pulse in her neck beat like a drum, and she put a hand to her throat to still the pumping.

“C–come in, Alex.”

He took a hesitant step toward her, and she moved aside to let him enter the house. He stopped in the hallway and surveyed the entry and parlor. He glanced up the stairway before he turned back to her. “I've driven by here so many times in the past six months, and I've often tried to imagine what the inside was like. It really is a beautiful house.”

Sarah shook her head to clear her senses. “You've driven by here?”

“Yes. Mr. Buckley's home isn't too far from here. I visit there quite often.”

The truth behind his words penetrated her still-foggy brain, and she flinched. “Of course. His daughter, Larraine. I've seen your picture on the society page with her. She's very beautiful.”

“Yes, she is, but you've been in the news quite a bit lately too.” As he said the words, he looked toward the parlor. “I hope I'm not interrupting your afternoon.”

“Not at all. I was just wondering how I could entertain myself when you rang the doorbell. Please come into the parlor. Can I get you some tea?”

Alex's eyes twinkled. “I don't know. Can you cook now?”

She laughed as she remembered telling him of her lack of skills in the kitchen. “Well, they do let me boil water. I think I can handle a cup of tea.”

“No, I don't want anything. Just to visit with you.”

She led him to one of the fireplace chairs and motioned him to sit. He didn't take his eyes off her as she sat down in the chair next to him. When she was seated, he leaned back and crossed his legs.

The old easiness in his presence overtook her, and the suppressed memories flooded back. This was so different from their last two meetings, and Sarah relaxed. She searched her mind for something they could talk about without a repeat of their Christmas encounter. Not suffrage and not the firm he worked for. She settled for a neutral subject. “Tell me all the news from Richland Creek. How is Ellen?”

“I suppose you haven't heard Ellen married last month. She has a husband to take care of now.”

Sarah gaped at him. “A husband? Who did she marry?”

“Edmund Lancaster. I wasn't too happy about it at first, but I came to realize I was being selfish. Ellen deserves someone to love her, and I've never seen her happier. Edmund dotes on her, and she on him. I think theirs is a match made in heaven.”

Sarah squealed in delight. “I could tell when they came to see my mother that they liked each other. I told Ellen then she had an admirer, but she dismissed me. I couldn't be happier. Do they live at the farm?”

“Yes. Edmund still has his office across from Charlie's store, but he travels to house calls most of the day. Ellen helps him when he needs her.”

Sarah blinked back tears of happiness at the thought of Ellen. “I wish I could see Ellen. She was so good to me when my mother was ill.”

Alex studied her face. “Ellen loves you, Sarah.”

The words hung suspended in air between them. She wanted him to say that he did too, but he just smiled at her and said nothing more. “She'll always be very special to me.”

Alex uncrossed his legs and leaned forward with his elbows on his thighs. “I came here today because I feel I need to apologize to you.”

She blinked. “For what?”

“For the way I acted the last two times we were together. I was hurt and angry, but I should have been more understanding of your feelings. I'm sorry if my words hurt you. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

“We both said some terrible things, and I need to ask your forgiveness for lashing out at you. At times I've thought you probably hate me for the things I said about your working for Mr. Buckley and your views on suffrage. My father always cautioned me about the way I talked to people. I hope you'll forgive me too.”

“Of course I will. I've done quite a bit of soul searching since I saw you at Christmas. I'm beginning to understand how important your cause is to you. I'm sorry I didn't before, and I apologize for belittling your dreams. I hope you can forgive me for that.”

“I do, Alex, but what brought about this change in your attitude?”

He rubbed the back of his neck and shook his head. “Edmund had a talk with me and helped me understand how blind I'd been about the injustice of not allowing women to vote. I've prayed about it a lot, and God led me to a new way of thinking where women are concerned. If I hadn't already been convinced that I needed to rethink my position, you certainly made me with your speech at the Orpheum last night.”

She sat up straight and gasped. “You were there?”

He nodded. “I was, and I stood and clapped right along with the rest of the crowd.” His eyes softened, and a sad smile pulled at his lips. “You were wonderful, Sarah. I only wish I'd listened to you sooner. Things might have been different between us.”

The regret she heard in his voice sliced through her like a knife, and she clasped her shaking hands together. His tone told her all she needed to know. Once he had said he loved her, but he didn't anymore. Now he talked of how things had once been between them. But what could she expect? He had a new life now, and it included a beautiful woman who happened to be very rich. Sarah pressed her lips together and swallowed. “It means more to me than you'll ever know that you came to hear me speak. I'm sorry I didn't see you afterward.”

He shook his head. “I knew you were with your friends, and I suspect you were swamped with well-wishers about your trip to Washington.”

“I was. The members of our group have been very supportive. I can't believe I'm really going to volunteer with Alice Paul.”

He scooted to the edge of his seat and frowned. “That's one of the reasons I decided to come here today. I want you to be careful in Washington. Up to this point Alice Paul and her followers have been tolerated, but I'm afraid it may change soon.”

“How do you mean?”

“America is going to be at war any day now. I don't know why we're not in the fight already. President Wilson has been patient with Miss Paul's demands, but that may change when he has a war to worry about. I don't want to see you get hurt.”

“It's kind of you to be concerned about me, but you don't have anything to worry about. How can I get hurt just working in an office? I'll probably be stuffing envelopes and mailing fliers out to supporters. I don't think I'll come in contact with anyone who might cause me problems.”

“You never can tell. Summer is on its way, and Washington will probably be a hot city. If we are in the war as I predict, tempers may also be hot. Stay out of situations that may get you in trouble. Of course, knowing how feisty you are, I'm probably not doing a bit of good with my warnings.”

Her eyebrows arched, and she couldn't help but smile. “Whatever makes you think I'm feisty?”

He smiled, and again she could see the sadness in his eyes. He tried to mask it, but it probably reflected what was in hers. He scooted to the edge of his seat and reached for her hand. “I knew you were a spunky girl the day I saw you with your skirt lifted. Later I came to know how strong-willed you are when you're passionate about a cause. All I'm saying is remember to use common sense, and don't get yourself in a situation you can't control.”

Her chin trembled, and she tightened her grip on his fingers. There was so much she wanted to say to him—to remind him of their time together by the pond at her home, to thank him for all he did for her and her mother, and to tell him she would always love him—but she couldn't. He'd begged her to try to find some common ground with him, but she had refused. In so doing, she had ruined any chance they might have had.

Instead of the words she wanted to speak, she said what she knew she must. “I'll be careful, Alex. Take care of yourself, and I hope you have a happy life.”

The muscle in his jaw twitched, and he squeezed her hand. “Don't forget my promise.”

She nodded. “If I ever need you, you'll come no matter where I am.”

“Yes. Don't ever forget….”

Before he could finish what he was saying, Roger's voice from the doorway interrupted. “Well, well, I didn't know we had company.”

Sarah jerked her hand away from Alex and sprang to her feet. Alex stood slowly and turned to face Roger. “I came to tell Sarah good-bye and wish her luck in Washington.”

Roger strode forward, his hand outstretched. “I don't think we've met. I'm Roger Thorne, and I suppose you must be Alex Taylor. Sarah has told us so much about you I feel I already know you.”

Alex's eyebrows arched, but he reached for Roger's hand and shook it. “I feel I know you too.”

Roger smiled. “I would have spent the afternoon here if I'd known you were coming.”

Sarah darted an angry glance toward Roger for his subtle insinuation that Alex had come uninvited to his aunt's home. If Alex noticed the slight, he gave no indication. He picked up his hat from the table at the end of the sofa and smiled. “It was a spur-of-the-moment visit so I could wish Sarah well in Washington. Now I think I'll be going.” He turned back to Sarah. “Good-bye, and try to remember what I told you.”

She tried to smile, but she wasn't sure how successful she was. Her mouth didn't want to cooperate. “Good-bye, Alex. It was good to see you again, and give Ellen my best.”

“I will.”

Before Sarah could take a step to show Alex out, Roger turned to her. “Sarah, would you mind checking on the kitchen staff? I'd told them we wanted dinner early tonight. I'd appreciate it if you'd see what time it will be ready.”

She glanced at Alex. “But I was going to…”

Roger waved his hand in dismissal. “No need for you to show Alex to the door. I'll do that.” He gestured toward the door. “After you, Mr. Taylor.”

Alex cast one more glance at her before he turned and headed toward the door. Sarah rammed her fist against her lips to keep from crying out as she stared at his retreating figure. When she heard the front door close, she turned and ran for the staircase. If Roger wanted to check on dinner, he could do it himself.

Alex stopped on the front porch at the top of the steps and turned to stare at Roger Thorne, who had followed him outside. The friendly attitude he'd displayed inside the house had disappeared, and in its place a sneer covered the man's face. His chest heaved, and he clenched his hands at his side. He stepped closer to Alex.

“Don't ever come to this house again without being invited. You are to stay away from Sarah.”

Alex shook his head. “I think that's Sarah's decision, not yours. But it probably won't be too hard for you to keep me away since you're taking her to Washington.”

Roger exhaled, and his shoulders relaxed. An arrogant smile pulled at his lips. “She didn't tell you, did she?”

“Tell me what?”

“That she's going to marry me.”

Alex almost doubled over in pain. He struggled to breathe, but his chest felt like something was squeezing the life from his body. He gulped a big breath of air and tried to steady his shaking legs.

“Marry you?” He could barely gasp the words.

Roger smiled, but it didn't reach to his cold eyes. “I see she didn't. Well, now you know. We'll be married this summer in Washington. I hope you won't feel left out, but we thought it best not to invite you to the wedding.”