A Life Less Ordinary (14 page)

“I’m
definitely going to recommend the counselling, though,” she said slowly.  “I’ve
been getting some great responses to my blog entries about our experiences –
and I think this can really help other women and couples who are struggling
with infertility.”

“Well,
she certainly helped us determine the best course of action,” TJ sighed and
wearily rubbed his free hand over his face.

Leah
nodded against his shoulder.

“So,
a donor?” TJ asked, shifting into a more comfortable position on the couch.

“Yes,
if the IUI fails.  I guess the next question is whether we want to ask somebody
we know, or use an anonymous donor?”

“Let’s
consider somebody we know, first.  Anonymous – I don’t know.  I think I’d be
looking for the differences, you know?  Trying to put a face to the father. 
And what if there are serious health issues?”

“First
of all –
you’re
the father, TJ.  Biology alone doesn’t make a father. 
But if we ask somebody we know, would he want to be part of the child’s life? 
And would that make it awkward for you?”

TJ
thought carefully for a moment before he sighed.  “If he’s somebody we know
well, then he’d already be a part of the child’s life.  If he wanted to be an
uncle figure, then why not?  Of course, nothing is ever that simple or
that...bloodless, I guess, for lack of a better term.  Would you – do you think
sharing a child with someone you know – and possibly someone you know well –
create a – a bond?”

Leah
lifted her head and smiled into his concerned eyes.

“There
would probably be a bond of some kind – even if it’s only gratitude.  You can’t
pretend otherwise.  But it’s not like we’d be making the baby the old-fashioned
way.  I’m not sure how close you can really feel to a turkey baster.”

TJ
grinned and said, “Well, if you give the turkey baster a name, you might be
surprised.”

Leah
grimaced, and hit him with one of the couch’s throw pillows.

TJ
laughed and gave her a smacking kiss.  He pulled back and said, “What about
Zeke?”

“I
haven’t heard from him lately.  Why?”

“No
– I mean, as the donor.”

Leah’s
jaw dropped.  “He’s your best friend!” she exclaimed.

“I
know -that’s why I thought of him.”

“He
also works for me.  I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

TJ
grimaced ruefully.  “He’s got good genes, though.”  He was suddenly wistful as
he added, “It would be a beautiful baby.”

“See?”
Leah exclaimed.  “This is what I’m talking about!  Would you be jealous?  Would
it strain your friendship?”

TJ
sighed and yawned.  “I don’t know.  We don’t have to decide right now, anyway. 
I have my doctor’s appointment tomorrow; maybe he’ll be able to give me better
news.”

“Maybe,”
Leah agreed, carefully neutral.

TJ
gave her a rueful smile.

“I
just want to give you everything you could ever want,” he said quietly.

Leah
smiled sweetly.

“
You’re
everything I could ever want.  And don’t you forget it.”

TJ
nodded and grinned as he pulled her in for another kiss.

* * * * *

Rebecca
answered the phone with a light-hearted hello.  She quickly sobered when she
recognized her daughter’s voice.

“Hi,
honey.  How are things going?”  She felt a knot of dread forming in her
stomach.  Jaime’s phone calls had been sporadic during the weeks she’d been
gone, and Rebecca sometimes suspected Jaime only called when she was reasonably
certain Rebecca wouldn’t be home.  That way she could speak with Tris without
also having to talk to her mother.

“Nothing’s
changed, Mom,” Jaime replied impatiently.  “I haven’t met my dad yet.”

Rebecca
frowned.  “It’s been a couple of weeks, Jaime,” she said as gently as possible.

“I’m
getting a feel for this town,” Jaime protested.  “You never brought me here –
I’m curious about it.  I’m trying to understand the world you kept me away
from.”

“Kept
you – Jaime!  I never took you there because there was no one who wanted to see
us!”

“Oh,
Mom,” Jaime sighed, and Rebecca could imagine the exasperated roll of eyes. 
“How do you
know
that?”

“Uh
– the fact that he denied he was your father?” Rebecca snapped, then sighed. 
“I’m sorry, honey.  I’m just tired.  I’m not used to having a pre-teen around
the house anymore.”

“It’s
good for you,” Jaime said, letting Rebecca’s earlier words flow over her.

“
When are you coming
home?”

“Oh,
Mom – I don’t know!  I haven’t had a chance to talk to my dad yet!  He’s been
out of town.”

Sure,
Rebecca thought sourly.  He probably left the minute he was told there was a
strange woman in town who looked like him.  Jaime had lived in a big city all
her life, and while there were many similarities to living in a small town,
she’d never truly experienced a grapevine until she experienced the grapevine
in a small town.  Rebecca had no doubt Devon had known Jaime was there less
than half-an-hour after she checked into her motel.

Rebecca
returned her attention to the conversation.

“Besides,”
Jaime was saying, “this is my first holiday alone since I married Blake.  I’m
really enjoying the freedom from responsibility.”

“I’m
sure you are,” Rebecca said neutrally, “but Tris misses you and -”

“Oh,
honestly, Mom!  You almost sound like you can’t wait for me to take Tris off
your hands!”

“Well,
she is your daughter,” Rebecca reminded her mildly.

“I’m
having a good holiday, Mom!  Please stop trying to ruin it for me!”

“I’m
not trying to ruin anything for you!  But you have responsibilities here – a
daughter who misses you and wants her mother around.”

“It’ll
be good for Tris to be away from me for a while.”

“And
good for you, too?” Rebecca asked cynically.

“Look,”
Jaime snapped, “I don’t need you putting pressure on me right now!  I’ll be
home when I’ve gotten to know my dad.  I don’t think it’s asking too much for
you to look after your granddaughter.”

“While
you’re off doing what, exactly?” Rebecca snapped.

“
Coming to terms with my
past – a past you denied me,” Jaime shot back.

“You
could have done this any time since you were eighteen.  Why now?”

“When
exactly would I have had the chance?  Huh?  I was married at nineteen and a
mother at twenty!  I had a baby too young!”

“You
had a baby too young?”
Rebecca muttered under her breath.

“What
was that?” Jaime snapped.

“I
said I’m sorry about that, hon,” Rebecca sighed, “but you can’t just – just
walk away from your life and leave everything hanging.”

“Why
not?  Manny’s doing it.”

“Manny
didn’t park her child with her mother!”

“I
should have known you wouldn’t understand, and that you’d be more concerned
about how much it inconveniences
you
! You’ve always put yourself first.”

“Jaime!
”

“Whatever. 
Tell Tris I’ll call her later.”

And
Rebecca was left with nothing but dead air.

~~~~~

“She
said
what
?” Manny demanded, disbelieving, wiping sleep from her eyes. 
She adjusted the pillows behind her and made herself more comfortable.  She’d
been snuggled under the covers on the verge of sleep when Rebecca called. 

“That
I always put myself first.”  Rebecca’s voice was choked, and she sniffled into
a Kleenex.

“Maybe
after she got married – but
before
that?”

“You
know, I tried to do my best.  I never brought men home; I was always here when
she got home from school.  I tried to make sure she had everything she wanted.”

“Well,
this is just something else she wants.  You to look after Tris while she...I
don’t know – finds herself by bonding with her father, I guess.”

“If
he’ll let her bond with him,” Rebecca said cynically.

“
It’s been thirty
years.  Maybe he wants to bond with her.”

“
You never know, I
guess.” 

Rebecca
sighed.

“Thanks
for listening, Manny.”

“No
problem.  What did Daisy have to say about it all?”

“Nothing
yet – she wasn’t home.”

Manny
frowned.  “No?  Were they out for supper or something?”

“Hub? 
Go out for supper with his wife?  That’d be the day!  No, Daisy was out on her
own.  At the casino.”

“On
a Thursday?”

“Manny
– she goes to the casino every night.”

“What?”

“That’s
what Hub told me when I called looking for her.  He was pretty, um, vocally
unhappy about it.”

Manny
let out her breath in a long sigh.  “Damn – is she in trouble?”

“Well,
with Hub, anyway.  He was really pissed off – although whether it’s because she
was at the casino or because he was home with the kids – it was hard to tell.”

“Yeah,
well, I don’t have much sympathy for him,” Manny said drily.

“Me
neither.  Hub’s been pretty much an absentee father and husband for way too
long.”

“To
be fair, he never used to be.  He just seemed to drop out of their lives a
couple of years ago.  Daisy’s especially.  When’s the last time they did
something together?”

“I
know,” Rebecca sighed.  “Listen, I didn’t mean to worry you – not about Daisy,
or me or Tris.  Tell me - what have you guys been doing?”

“Driving,
mostly,” Manny groaned.  “We’re headed to a small town in Arizona for a classic
film festival that starts in a week or so.  Zeke doesn’t know why we’re going
there.”

“You
haven’t told him?  Why not?”

“Because
it’s hilarious watching him get all wound up about what we’re doing next.  I
don’t think he handles ambiguity well.”

“
Or else he just doesn’t
like having someone else in control,” Rebecca suggested drily.

“
That’s much more
likely.  You figured him out pretty quickly after only meeting him once.”

“
Nothing personal – it
just seems to be a typical male trait.”

Manny
laughed.  “Speaking about Jackson, are you?”

Rebecca
laughed.  “Jackson does like being in control – when he thinks it’s worth the
effort.”

“Is
he back in town?”

“They
got back Monday, but I haven’t seen him yet.  We’re going out for supper on
Saturday.”

“Are
you going to send Tris to Daisy’s for the night?” Manny asked slyly.

“That’s
a better idea than my plan to rent a hotel room for a couple hours,” Rebecca
mused.

“
Although the hotel room
has some merit, too.”

Rebecca
laughed throatily.  “Good point.”  She sighed.  “Thanks for listening, Manny. 
I miss you, you know.”

“I
miss you, too, Rebecca.  You and Daisy.”

They
ended the call, and to Manny’s horror, hot tears suddenly filled her eyes.  She
really did miss both of them.  Which was ironic, she thought, sniffling
slightly, since she talked to them more now than she had when she’d been home.

She
shook her head, turned off the light, and snuggled under the covers once more. 
She made a mental note to ask Daisy about her trips to the casino, and to make
her the truth about her relationship with Hub.

* * * * *

Zeke
watched Manny with a puzzled air.

He’d
expected her to press him on Dixie, to ask him if he’d called to apologize. 
He’d expected her to express her disappointment at his lack of feelings for his
ex-girlfriend.

She
did none of it.

As
far as Zeke could tell, she treated him exactly the same:  a bit reserved,
friendly, accepting his decisions regarding whether he would join her for yet
another day of sightseeing.  She always asked him what he did on those days he
wasn’t with her, but she never pressed him for details if it seemed he didn’t
want to share.

It...

He
leaned back in his chair, tapping his fingers on the table beside his laptop.

Not
disconcerting. 

No. 

No
maiden aunt with her hair in a bun could ever disconcert him.

No,
it was...
distracting
.

Yeah. 
That was it.

And
it was making it difficult for him to write his next blog.