A Life Less Ordinary (36 page)

“She’s
not planning on coming back for...a while.”

“I
know,” Tris repeated, only this time she couldn’t hide the tremble in her
voice.

Rebecca
sat very still, her only movement the slow rub of her trembling hands down her
thighs. 

“I
know this hasn’t been...good for you,” Rebecca said softly, her eyes on her
hands rather than her granddaughter.  “I know you don’t like me very much, and
I...don’t know how to change that.  I also know I haven’t been the
most...affectionate, or – or nurturing of grandmothers, either.  But that’s
something I
can
change.”

“You
don’t have to,” Tris said in a tiny voice.  “You’re not the only one who
doesn’t want me.  Mom and Dad don’t want me with
them
.  Gran and Pappy
don’t want me either -”

“Now,
you know none of that is true,” Rebecca said firmly.  “I’ve told you I do want
you here.  Your parents love you; they’re just...going through some tough times
right now.  And as for Gran and Pappy – we just don’t know where they are, or
how to get in touch with them.”

“We
could if it was an emergency,” Tris muttered.

“
Yes.  But is this
really an emergency?  Whether you like me or not, and whether you believe it or
not, you
do
have a home here.  I
do
want you here.  You are my
daughter’s daughter.  My blood.  My family.  And I love you.  Very much.”

“
But you don’t like me
very much, either,” Tris challenged.

“
Love for your family is
automatic, Tris. 
Liking
, though, is something that’s earned, and it may
never happen.  I think...we could both grow to like each other, if we
stopped...”

Rebecca
stared at her hands then glanced over at Tris.  Tris had stopped pretending to
focus on her homework and was staring at her.  Her eyes were red-rimmed and
vulnerable, the dark chocolate brown in sharp contrast to her straw-coloured
hair.  Her father’s hair; her mother’s face; her grandfather’s eyes, Rebecca
thought, and her heart twisted with love and regret. 

“If
we stopped acting like enemies, maybe we wouldn’t
be
enemies,” Rebecca
continued softly.

Tris
blinked and looked down, her hair falling in soft curtains to hide her face.

“I’m
never going to be the kind of mom you see on TV or in old movies,” Rebecca said
quietly.  “I’m never going to be that kind of grandmother, either.  I have a
job, and I have a lo – life.  But how about this?  I’ll make sure I’m home when
you get home from school.  We’ll eat supper together – at the table – and we’ll
spend an hour after supper together.  No TVs, no phones, no computers, no one
else.  Just us.   We can talk, or play cards, or...we can stare at everything
but each other.”

She
hesitantly patted Tris’ knee.

“We
may never learn to like each other,” she added softly, “but we have to start
somewhere.  Okay?”  She looked steadily at Tris.  “So, what do you say?  Do we
have a deal?”

Tris
hesitated, then nodded and gave her a fleeting smile, and for the first time,
Rebecca felt a small sliver of hope.

* * * * *

A
few days after TJ was comfortably ensconced back in his own bed in his own
home, Zeke finally asked the question that had lain dormant in the back of his
mind:  what had Leah meant by saying he’d be a good father for their baby after
all?

Leah
and TJ shared rueful and somewhat guilty looks, then explained their initial
plans for trying to have a baby before the doctors had found the tumor,
including their discussion of Zeke as a potential donor if their other options
failed.  Zeke listened carefully, his brows lowered darkly over his
disbelieving hazel eyes.

They
stared at him with wide-eyed trepidation once they finished their story.

“So...”
Zeke finally said slowly, “you’re holding me in reserve?  So to speak.”

“If
you’re willing, of course,” TJ said.  “If we have to use a donor, we’d like him
to be someone we know.  Someone we trust.  But it’s a big step that stretches
the bounds of friendship, and if you don’t feel comfortable with it, you can
always say no.  I mean, we get why you’d refuse.”

Zeke
nodded, frowning as he tried to wrap his head around fathering a child for his
best friend, the brother of his heart if not his blood.

“There’s
lots of time to think about it,” Leah assured him.  “We’re not going to pursue
anything until we know what’s going on with TJ, and then it’s only after we’ve
exhausted all possibilities of him being the father.”

She
frowned as her cell phone vibrated in her hand.  She glanced at it, sent it to
voice mail, and gave TJ a smile.  “TJ’s still Plan A.”

Zeke
frowned.  “I thought he couldn’t – that he didn’t have enough -”

“All
you need is one,” TJ grinned.  “We thought of you for Plan B – if you agree.”

Zeke
hesitated.

“You
don’t need to decide anything right now,” TJ assured him again.

Zeke’s
frown deepened as he had a sudden flash of Manny telling him about what
happened after her parents had died; about Daisy and Rebecca and Jaime; about
family and friends.  He refocused on TJ. 

“I
would do anything for you, TJ,” he said firmly, “you know that.  If you need me
to do this, then I will.  You just let me know what I have to do and we’ll work
it out.”

“Assuming,
of course, that
your
sperm count is normal,” Leah said briskly, frowning
as her phone vibrated; she once again sent it to voice mail.

“Look
at me,” Zeke teased, “could there possibly be any doubt?”

Leah
rolled her eyes.  “I’m sure you impregnate women just by looking at them,” she
assured him drily.

“God,
I hope not,” Zeke groaned.  “I’ve looked at a lot of women.  It could make
things very awkward once all those kids are old enough to date.”

Leah
laughed, shaking her head, then cursed as her phone vibrated yet again. 

“I’d
better check in with the office,” she sighed, “that’s the third time they’ve
called.  I’m going downstairs to the study, in case I need the computer.”  She
dropped a quick kiss on TJ’s lips.  “Please don’t plot revolution while I’m
gone.”

“I
can barely get out of bed without help!” TJ protested.

“Maybe,”
Leah said as she walked towards the door, “but you do have Zeke right now to do
your bidding.”

“Hey!”

“
You’re
the one who called
him!” TJ called after her.  She airily waved away his comment as she left the
room.

TJ
turned to Zeke, the special smile he seemed to save only for Leah curving his
lips.

“How’d
you know?” Zeke blurted.

TJ
blinked.  “That she called you?  You told me, remember?”

“What? 
No!  How did you know you could trust her?  How did you know it was safe to
love her?”

TJ
frowned as he took in the look in Zeke’s eyes.

“I
didn’t,” TJ said finally, gently, “but I couldn’t live with the thought of not
even trying with her.  Besides, who says love is safe?  It
isn’t
safe –
it’s hard work, and a daily decision.”

Zeke
stared unblinkingly at him.

“...and
unlike what what’s-his-name said, love is all about saying you’re sorry,” TJ
added.

Zeke
frowned.  “Ryan O’Neal?”

“I
was actually thinking about the guy who wrote the book.”

“You
read the book?”

“You
saw the movie?”

They
were still laughing, TJ’s interspersed with small yelps of pain, when Leah
burst back into the bedroom, flushed and wild-eyed.

“Our
servers are overloading!” she blurted.

“Say
what?” TJ asked, still grinning.

Leah
shook her head, waving her hands excitedly.  “Someone – we’re still checking –
profiled the site sometime, probably late in the day, yesterday – specifically
your blog, Zeke.  We’ve had over half-a-million hits since midnight!  And
they’re still coming!”  She rushed to Zeke, grabbed his shoulders, and
excitedly shook him.  “We’ve gone viral!” she cried, then threw her arms around
him in a bone-crushing hug.

Zeke
grunted, staggering under the onslaught, as TJ pulled himself up in the bed and
said, “That’s wonder – ow...”

Leah
spun and pointed a finger at him.  “You.  Be careful.  Make sure Zeke helps you
out of bed -”

“The
nurse said -”

“I
don’t give a shit what the nurse said – you’re still sore and I don’t want you
pulling your incision.  I’ve got to get to the office; make some emergency
purchases -” she spun back to Zeke.  “I knew that blog was going to put us on
the map!”  She spun towards TJ, and dropped a quick, hard kiss on his lips. 
“I’ve got to go -” she spun again and rushed out the door.

TJ
and Zeke blinked in the sudden shock of silence.

“Hurricane
Leah,” Zeke murmured softly.

“Yeah...” 
TJ breathed.

“Viral,
huh?”

“Yeah. 
Congratulations.”

“
Yeah.  Thanks.”

“
You don’t sound too
happy about it,” TJ said shrewdly.

Zeke
sighed.  “I was hoping to stay home even after you were back on your feet.”

TJ
stared.  “You were?  Why?  I thought you were having a good time?”

Zeke
sighed again.  “It’s complicated.”

“Well,
let’s get me out of this bed and down to the living room, and you can tell me
all about it.”

“Yeah,”
Zeke said, moving to help him, “yeah, I think that might help.”

~~~~~

Leah
sat behind her desk and listened to Zeke’s carefully worded explanation with a
raised eyebrow and, at some points, an amused smirk.

“I
think it would be best for everyone if I were to make some excuse to her, and
cut this trip short,” Zeke finished, leaning back in his chair.

“Why?”
Leah asked bluntly.

“I
just told you why.”

“No. 
You gave me what you thought would be an acceptable reason why.  Now give me
the real reason.”

Zeke
huffed out an exasperated breath.  “Have you been talking to TJ?”

“TJ
isn’t your only friend, you know.  I can tell when you’re trying to hide
something from me.”

Zeke
glowered at her.  “I think I’m falling in love with her,” he grated out.

Leah
burst out laughing.  “With
Manny
?”  Her eyes widened as she took in his
expression.  “Holy shit, you’re serious.”

“Yeah,
I’m serious.  And this latest fiasco with Dixie just reminded me why I don’t
believe in love in the first place.”

Leah
frowned.  “Why do you think you’re falling in love with her, then?  Especially
if you don’t believe in it?”

“Because
I don’t know what else to call it!  I care about her feelings – I’m even
feeling guilty about the last few blogs, since I wrote them when I was really
pissed at her, and they’re particularly cruel and she doesn’t deserve that. 
And now the fucking thing has gone viral – how long before she finds out about
it from one of the thousand-and-one Misfit Toys she’s picked up along the way? 
I don’t want her hurt!  And then – in L.A. – she had on this
dress
, and
these
shoes
, and I thought it was just because she took me by surprise,
but then she was wearing those
boxers
and she was still sexy, only she’s
not – not really – she’s still just a middle-aged, plain, dumpy woman only now
she also has an ass that just won’t quit!”

Zeke
paused, out of breath, and glared at Leah.  She stared back at him, her eyes
wide and her mouth hanging open before she closed it with a snap.

“So,
this is why you think you’re falling in love with her,” Leah said, “instead of
maybe just falling in lust with her?  Which – sorry, Zeke – that’s what it
sounds like.”

“It’s
more than lust!  Or...,” he paused, thinking, “I mean, I wouldn’t even call it
lust
,
exactly.  It’s just...she’s...
nice
.  And she’s smart, and funny, and she
– she attracts people, because she makes them feel welcomed and accepted and
acceptable
,
and I don’t think she even realizes what she’s doing because she always seems
surprised that people want to keep in touch with her after we move on.  And – I
like her.”

Leah
shrugged and shook her head with a laugh.  “I’m sorry, but I think you’re
blowing everything way out of proportion.  Of course you’re fond of her –
you’ve spent the last three months – more - spending almost every single day
with her.  That doesn’t mean you’re getting a crush on her – not a
crush
crush -”

“A
crush crush?  I can see you make your living with the written word.”

“Oh,
ha ha, funny man.  You know what I’m talking about.  You
like
her – you
may even – as you think – love her a little bit.  That doesn’t mean you’re
in
love with her – and in fact you probably aren’t.”  Leah leaned forward with a
serious expression.  “Zeke, this is what’s known as friendship.  You just
happen to be feeling this friendship with a member of the opposite sex.”