A Look Back: Rennillia Series - Prequel (18 page)

Chapter 24

Fully rested when I woke, I hopped into the shower. After drying off and getting dressed, I wished I had packed something cuter for when Jackson came over. While I waited for my hair to dry, I sat on the edge of Emerson’s bed, thinking of something to give Jackson before he left. There was only one thing he had ever asked me for and I couldn’t give him that, especially since he was leaving in a week. Deciding to ask Emerson what he might like, I stood up.

Emerson was standing in the doorway holding the phone out to me as I slowly walked towards him. I could tell something was wrong but I couldn’t figure out what it could be. When I put the phone to my ear there was a man on the other end of the line. He said there was a fire and he needed to speak with me in person about my parents.

Nodding into the phone, it wasn’t until the man blurted, “Miss Cantinelli,” that I realized I wasn’t speaking.

“Yes sir, I’ll be here,” I said before I hung up the phone.

Looking at Emerson, I grabbed my bag off of the chair by his bed. Slowly making my way downstairs, I didn’t understand what had happened.

I sat on the couch in the living room waiting. When the Police Officer arrived, he had a Counselor and the Fire Marshal with him. The Fire Marshal explained what happened, using words like tragic and regrettable. The longer he spoke the less I heard but when he used the word fortunate, I instantly hated him. The Counselor handed me a card and advised that I call her. The Police Officer asked Emerson if I had a place to stay. After Emerson assured, I could stay with him, they left.

Unable to believe what was happening, I just sat there. Feeling Emerson’s hand on my shoulder, I turned and looked at him.

With more sympathy than I could have imagined, he whispered, “I am so sorry.”

The moment I heard his sorry, I started shaking my head. I was sorry. Instantly, I wished I could take it all back. Every rule I broke, every sarcastic remark, every time I refused to submit to my fathers will, all of it. I wanted to take it back. I could have told my mother I understood, instead of wishing she was a different person. None of that was possible now because they were gone.

Taking short breaths, I glared at Emerson, saying, “I should have been there.” I watched him shake his head at me as I insisted, “I didn’t even want to stay here. I wanted to go home. I should have gone home. I should have been there.”

Wrapping his arms around me tight, he soothed, “No Ren, if you were you would be gone too.”

And then, I started to cry.

As my heaving sobs subsided, I couldn’t look at Emerson. I wasn’t mad at him. I just couldn’t stand the pathetic way he looked at me.

Brushing my hair from my face, he whispered, “It is going to be okay. We will get through this.”

Shaking my head, I pulled away and leaned the other direction.

“We will, Ren…I promise,” he said before offering, “Do you want your pillow?”

Nodding, I mumbled, “Yea, and the phone.”

Em slowly stood up and made his way up the stairs.

All I could think was, I have to get out of here but I had no place to go. Not only were my parents gone, so was my house. Where would I go? Hert had already been through so much with his parents. How did he do this? He was strong and controlled through every moment of his father’s death and his mother’s breakdown. If I went to Hert and he refused to speak to me or worse told me I needed to grow up, I couldn’t handle it. Jackson was my only hope. He could take me somewhere, anywhere, so I didn’t have to be here.

Emerson came back downstairs, handed me my pillow and the phone before covering me with a blanket. Curling into my pillow, I dialed Jackson’s phone number.

When Mrs. Thomas answered with a cheerful hello, I asked, “Is Jackson there?”

“No he’s not. Ren honey, are you alright?” she questioned.

Trying not to fall apart on the phone with her, I replied, “I just really needed to talk to him.”

I could hear the disbelief in her voice as she said, “Okay, let me see if JP knows.”

I held on the line while she asked Mr. Thomas if he knew where Jackson was.

“Sorry, did you try Gus?” she asked.

Disappointed, I answered, “No ma’am, I will.”

“Okay honey, you sure you’re alright?” she questioned again.

I lied, saying, “Yes ma’am,” just before I hung up.

After calling Gus’s house, his wife suggested I call The Bar. Thinking, please be there, I dialed the number.

Gus quickly answered, saying, “Bar, what ya need.”

With a controlled breath, I asked, “Hey Gus, its Ren, is Jacks there?”

“Was earlier, not sure where he ran off to,” he replied.

Frowning at the phone, I said, “Okay.”

“Ya want me to tell him you’re lookin’ for him if he turns up?” he offered.

About to cry again, I answered, “No thanks,” and hung up.

Shaking my head into my pillow, I started crying again as Emerson tried to comfort me.

Feeling as though I would die if I stayed at Emerson’s any longer, I stared at my little black duffle bag sitting on the floor next to me. He wouldn’t let me leave, I already knew it. I needed to be away from him, from this house. I didn’t need comforting. I needed this to not be happening. I had to go.

Slowly sitting up, I placed my hand over Emerson’s, asking, “Will you go get me my hair thing from your bathroom?”

Nodding, he questioned, “The green one?”

I nodded back, answering, “I think I left it on the edge of the bathtub this morning.”

Giving me a sweet smile, he patted my shoulder, saying, “I will be right back.”

Forcing a smile, I watched him get up and head upstairs. The moment I couldn’t see him anymore, I jumped up, grabbed my bag and darted out of the back door. I had my keys out and in my hand before I even made it to my car. Quickly shoving them into the ignition, I left.

I must have circled the town twenty times before I finally pulled off to the side of the road. I felt lost. There was no place I could go. I understood there were actual places for me to go, however, there was no place I wanted to be. I didn’t want to be told everything would be alright. Everything was not alright. It would never be alright because my parents were gone. They were dead. The feeling of loss was so overwhelming, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. My chest was hurting and I started to shake. There was no way to make this feeling go away. All I wanted was to stop feeling the way I was feeling. Then, I realized, there was a way.

Taking several deep breaths, I pulled back onto the road. Shaking my head at myself, I knew this was a bad idea. Suddenly goose bumps covered my arms in anticipation. Every reason not to go was quickly replaced with the way I knew I would feel once I got there. No thought just action. My sadness would be welcomed and shared. Because when we had nothing else we could have each other and I had nothing. There had never been a gap like this in my life. He would fill the void that was slowly swallowing me whole.

Pulling up past the gate, I stopped my car. Slowly opening the door, it wasn’t until I stepped out, I realized, I never put my shoes on. Carefully, I made my way down the path, mentally questioning myself with every step. By the time I reached my destination, I was severed into a million different emotions. The need for just one surpassed the rest and I closed my eyes and made my decision. Slowly reaching up, I knocked on HIS door.

About
the Author

M. Sembera was born in Baton Rouge, Louisiana and now lives in Brazoria, Texas with her husband, three kids, three dogs and two cats. After writing her first short story when she was in high school, M. instantly fell in love with writing. However, life sometimes gets in the way of aspirations and it wasn't until years later, when her life calmed down, M. was able to start writing again.

'For me, each new book I write or character I create feels like the first time and I find myself falling in love with writing all over again'

Other works include
'The Rennillia Series', 'Life with Him: Novelette' & 'Louisiana Spice, Italian Intrigue, and Texas Bull: A Memoir'.