A Love for All Seasons (5 page)

“Feeling better this morning, I hope.”

She tried not to show her disappointment at hearing Rhonda's voice. “Excuse me,” she said to her mother and sister, rising and walking outside to the hall so she could talk without disturbing their conversation.

“I'm better, thanks. The walk last night really helped clear my head, although I did have a bit of a headache this morning.”

“Alicia, I've never seen you so wasted. It would have been easy for someone to take advantage of you. I trust Jack was the gentleman I've always known him to be.”

She smiled at the thought of him. “He was. Tried to see me upstairs, but I said no.”

“That might not have been a bad idea. You were a little unsteady going down the stairs when we left.”

“Yes, but I felt a lot better by the time we finished walking.” Alicia left out the fact that while climbing the stairs she stumbled on the second flight, the quick grab of the banister with her right hand saving her face from meeting the steps head-on.

“How far did you walk?”

“Down to Seventy-Second. And back.”

“Wow. Thirteen blocks one way. That made for a heck of a workout. But I'm glad you're okay.” Rhonda paused. “You
are
okay, aren't you, Alicia?”

“Yes, I'm better.”

“That's not what I mean, and you know it.” Rhonda sighed. “But if you want to talk about it, I'm here.”

“Thanks.” Alicia knew that Rhonda wanted to know why she drank so much last night, but how could she explain to her friend something she didn't understand herself?

“Are you at your mother's?”

“Yes, I got here about a half hour ago.”

“How's she doing?”

“Pretty good today, actually.”

“Give her my best.”

“I will. I'll talk to you tomorrow.” Alicia clicked the End button and returned to the sitting area of her mother's bedroom. Her disappointment must have shown on her face.

“Not the young man you told us about?” Caroline asked.

“No,” she admitted. “It was Rhonda. She said to tell you hello.”

“Don't worry, Alicia. He'll call.”

 

But he didn't, not for the remainder of the day. She felt puzzled and tense. Could she have blown it?

I Want To Tell You

S
he
slept uneasily that night in her old room, unable to understand her emotions. No man had ever affected her this way before.

Alicia arose early Sunday morning, as was her habit. Lucky slept near her feet. She felt quite at home in the room she'd grown up in, surrounded by furniture she'd had since her high school days.

She slipped out of bed, washed her face in the adjacent private bath and stood at the window as she brushed out her hair. Her room overlooked the quiet street. At this time of year the fall foliage season was at its height, and leaves of yellow, purple, orange and brown covered the trees. The only person in sight was a gardener raking up the leaves that had fallen on the lawn of the large Dutch Colonial across the street. Alicia smiled, remembering how, as children, she and Daphne and other kids from the block went over there to try to grab apples from the tree on the neighbors' property, always getting shooed away by either the lady of the house or the family's maid.

Green's Farms couldn't be more different than the Upper West Side of Manhattan, yet she loved both places. It pleased her to know that this wonderful old house would remain in the family after her mother passed away.

Caroline had sat down with her and Daphne the week after their father's funeral and explained to them the major points of his will. She told them that after her own death the house would be left to both girls. Daphne promptly asked if she would be the one to live in it, “since
I
have a husband and a baby on the way.”

Alicia had merely smiled, expecting nothing different from her sister. Caroline replied that leaving the house to both of them meant precisely that. “Which one of you will live here will have to be decided between the two of you. But your daddy left explicit instructions to help keep peace among you two. There's no mortgage on the house. The taxes are steep, but most of it comes from the rent Martha and Marvin pay each month. Any out-of-pocket tax payments, plus the cost of any improvements made, will be reimbursed from the profits if the house is ever sold, although I hope the house will be kept in the family. That baby you're carrying, Daphne, might live here with his or her family thirty years from now. Or maybe one of your children, Alicia.” She tactfully ignored Daphne's eye rolling. “But every future member of this family will own a share in this property. It's all been worked out.”

Alicia assured Daphne that she had no desire to live here. As a single woman with no dependents, she would feel terribly lonely living all alone in a five-bedroom house with four-and-a-half baths, even if it meant she could have Lucky. Daphne, with her allergy to pet hair, would probably want to get rid of him, although little Fletch would probably object. He loved Lucky as much as Alicia did.

 

When a fully dressed Alicia emerged from her bedroom the next morning and went to see her mother, she saw a uniformed nurse taking Caroline's vital signs. She craned her neck for a better look, but she didn't recognize the face. The health care agency rotated their staff of nurses faster than a chicken roasting on a spit. However did her mother manage to keep up with them all?

Caroline's face lit up at the sight of her eldest daughter. “Good morning, Alicia. You might want to buzz Martha. She's making breakfast. Why don't you eat with me? Daphne and Todd aren't up yet, and I like for them to eat with little Fletch, like they would do if they were at home.”

“Sure, Mom.” She nodded to the nurse, then went to the intercom on the wall. “Good morning, Martha.”

“Morning, Alicia. Would you like some breakfast? I'm putting something together for Miss Caroline now.”

“Yes, please. A cheese omelet would be nice, with those great home fries you make on the side.”

“Coming up.”

“Thanks.” Alicia removed her finger from the button and turned around. “How is my mother this morning, Nurse?”

“She's doing quite well. Her vitals are strong.”

“Do you think she's up to going out for a little while?”

“Nurse Bennett says I can go to church,” Caroline said proudly.

“But she should keep her walking to a minimum, and no stairs,” the nurse cautioned.

“That's fine. The church has a ramp.”

“Make sure she uses her motorized chair to get downstairs and her wheelchair to get in and out, and she'll be fine.”

“Thank you.” Alicia beamed at Caroline. “I guess we'll have to get you something to wear.”

“My gray suit. Don't worry about it now, we have time. I've just been given a sponge bath, and all I have to do is get dressed.”

“Mrs. Timberlake, is there anything else you need?” the nurse inquired.

“No, I'm good. I'll see you this evening.”

“Enjoy your afternoon. And remember, you mustn't overdo it.”

“We'll see to that,” Alicia said.

The nurse put on her coat, picked up her bag, and left.

Alicia sat on the opposite side of her mother's bed. “What is Martha making you this morning?”

“A blueberry muffin and yogurt. I didn't feel like eggs—I mean, the egg substitute I'm allowed to have.” Caroline smiled. “So tell me, did you receive that call you were waiting for?”

She cast her eyes downward for a second. “No. But I'm not worried.”

“Yes, I can tell how not worried you are,” Caroline said knowingly. “Alicia, I don't think I've ever seen you this way before.”

“What way?”

“You had several calls yesterday on your cell phone. I could see that hopeful look in your eyes and the disappointment that took over when you learned it wasn't the person you wanted to talk to.” She paused. “He must have left quite an impression on you.”

“I can never fool you, can I, Mom?”

“No one knows you better than I. But I think it's time someone did.” Caroline reached out and patted the back of Alicia's hand. “I can't believe that you'll soon be thirty-five years old. I do hope that eventually you'll settle down and have children.”

“Maybe one day. There's still time.”

“I know you've had your share of boyfriends over the years, but it seems like they never last beyond a few months. What happened to that young man who escorted you to Daphne's wedding?”

“Oh, Derek. He's still around. He came to my party Friday night.”

“Do you still see each other?”

“Occasionally. But not lately.”

“You mean for sex.”

“Mom!”

“Surely I don't need to remind you I was having sex before you were born,” Caroline said, unruffled. “Seriously, I worry about you, dear. Your father—”

“Oh, not that again. Mom, Pop was a good man.”

“Yes, he was. But he did you a disservice, the way he favored Daphne. He couldn't help it, Alicia. Don't be upset with him.”

“But I'm not upset, Mom.”

“That's precisely what troubles me. You should be furious, or hurt, or wonder why, or
something
. It's not natural to have no feelings at all. I loved your father, Alicia, but I hated how he behaved. I saw it, remember, I was there. I saw how he'd pick up Daphne and lift her high, and then how he'd rub your shoulder like some kind of postscript at the end of a letter. He'd talk about Daphne so much that people who didn't know him probably didn't realize he had two daughters. We fought about it all the time.”

“Mom, I wouldn't want to be the cause—”

“Stop apologizing, Alicia. You haven't done anything wrong.”

“Mom, you're getting excited.” She could see it in Caroline's face, and in her body language, the way she suddenly straightened up and punched her pillow. Alicia found it alarming. “Calm down, please.”

“That's my whole point. Alicia, you never even looked disappointed when your father acted the way he did, but I've watched you look disappointed all day today with every phone call you received. I'm not sure what to make of that, but I am afraid that the way your father treated you might have a negative effect on your relationships with men.”

“Mom, don't worry. I know Pop loved me in his own way. He told me so before he passed. He was always there when I needed him, just like you were. He sent me to school, gave me an education…and he provided for me, didn't he?”

“Yes, he did,” Caroline admitted.

“So he had a little touch of favoritism when it came to Daphne. I was hardly treated like an ugly stepsister.” Alicia refrained from pointing out that in her opinion, at least, she turned out much better than Daphne.

“And I know he was very proud of you, Alicia. But I do worry about you. I don't want you to accept second-class treatment from any man—”

“I never have, Mom. I never will.”

“Nor do I want your father's favoritism of Daphne to stop you from loving anyone.”

“That's silly, Mom. I love
you
.”

“You know very well what I mean, Alicia.” Caroline's expression grew serious. “You're my eldest child. You came along at a time when I thought your daddy and I were destined to be without a family of our own. You brightened our whole lives, and you are dearer to me than I can ever tell you.”

Alicia beamed.

“But there's something I have to—”

“Okay, here we are,” Martha called out cheerfully. A moment later she entered the room with a large tray holding two plates, orange juice and coffee.

Alicia reached for the rattan weave tray on which Caroline took her meals when in bed, unfolding the legs from each side and placing it over Caroline's lap. Martha transferred the food onto it. “Thanks, Alicia.”

“I'll sit at the coffee table, Martha,” Alicia said.

“You can stay right there. I brought a tray for you.” She handed Alicia a Formica tray trimmed in pecan wood. “We have a set of these. Miss Daphne uses one all the time when she eats in your mother's room.”

Alicia found something disconcerting in Martha, who at forty-two was considerably older than the notyet-thirty Daphne, using the courtesy title of “Miss” when referring to her. She knew Martha did it only to appease her sister's highfalutin' ways, but it made her wince nonetheless. Daphne didn't sign Martha's paychecks…she just acted like she did.

“Martha, Mom's going to go to church this morning,” she said proudly. “The nurse said she's up to it.”

“That's wonderful, Miss Caroline! I've been telling you that you're looking wonderful these days.”

“I feel pretty good, too. Thanks, Martha.”