A Love For Lera (Haikon) (26 page)

Not even three steps from the cave and a familiar
sight stepped from the trees.

“Daddy!” Lera cried and ran to him.

Watching their reunion twisted the dagger even
deeper in Kori’s heart. Careful to keep his face impassive, Kori met the man’s
sharp gaze before walking toward the vehicle he knew would be waiting for them.

The ride back was taken up by Lera and her father
chatting. He knew she did it so her dad wouldn’t know anything was wrong. But,
from the gleam in Dane’s eyes, he had long since figured it out.

They pulled up to Dane’s house and Kori had
barely gotten out when the front door opened. He saw his siblings and Lera’s.
From behind them, Kori watched as Aida stepped through. The woman was serenity
personified. She moved regally down the steps and opened her arms. In a second,
Lera was in her embrace, crying.

He felt like an outsider. His brother and
sister’s words sounded far away, and all he could see was Lera vanishing
inside. He wanted to follow her but he knew now wasn’t the time. Swallowing, he
focused on those around him.

Dane’s expression lingered on him before he, too,
went in the house, and Kori knew he’d be faced with Daddy Dane soon enough. It
didn’t matter. He’d go through hell to be with Lera. And, from the flames Dane
had in his gaze, that just may be where he was headed.

Chapter Eighteen

Lera sobbed against her mom. The comforting scent
of soft apples, cinnamon, and vanilla made all feel right again.

“What are you doing here?” she asked around the
sharp inhalations she took.

“Where else would I be, Lera?”

“You hate this country.”

“I love you.”

Drawing back, she stared at the woman who’d been
her mother in all sense of the word, other than by blood. Brown eyes with
flecks of gold scattered throughout gazed right back.

“Love you, too, Mom.”

“Are you okay?”

“Still healing from a wound across my belly, but
yes, I’m healing.”

Her heart broke all over again at the memory of
what that injury had cost her. Somehow, she kept that clamped behind her lips,
not ready to share. She wanted Kori. Wanted him to come in and hold her, like
he had before she’d lost their children. Shame engulfed her, and she fought off
a new wave of tears.

“I know you’re tired. Get some rest. We’ll wake
you for dinner.” Her mom kissed Lera’s cheek and walked to the door. “I’m glad
you’re safe, Lera.”

Lying back on the bed, she smiled gently and
closed her eyes. When the door clicked, she lowered her hand to her belly,
mindful of the newest scar she had, and bit her lower lip.
How could I not
know I was pregnant? What kind of woman doesn’t know this?

“How can he ever forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive,
mo anam
,”
Kori said simply.

Her eyes flew open and found him leaning against
the closed door. She wanted to bury her face and tell him to leave her. Tell
him she wasn’t worthy of being his mate. And yet, in the same breath, she
wanted to beg him to hold her and tell her she was his entire world.

“How can you say that?” She moved her fingers
over her womb, and his gaze followed the action.

“How can I not? Lera, I know you would never
endanger a child willingly. Ever. I wish I could make you understand this isn’t
your fault.”

“It is!” she hollered. “It’s mine! I lost them,
not you. Me!” He stepped toward her, and she pushed up angrily. “Stay away from
me!”

Kori stopped, and a heartbreaking look filled his
features. Like she’d just reached in his chest and ripped out his heart.
Inside, she could feel his discomfort along their link. Then, he went to the
window and climbed through, disappearing from view.

“Kori!” she cried, only to double over in pain
when she moved wrong for her wound.

The door flew open, and Dane stood there. He
glanced between her and the window. “Little one?”

She watched the man who’d raised her. The flood
began again, and this time, she didn’t even try to stem the tide. He sat beside
her and lifted her effortlessly into his arms. Burying her face into his chest,
she continued to cry.

“I think we need to talk, Valera,” he said after
about ten minutes.

Staring up at him, she shook her head. He lifted
a brow and nodded. “I don’t…I can’t…you’ll hate me.”

“I could never hate you. What is going on between
you and Kori?”

“It’s not going to work between us, Daddy.”

A deadly rumble rose from his chest. “The only
reason one leaves a mate is if they’d done something unforgiveable. What did he
do?”

She shook her head. “It wasn’t him. It was me,”
she sobbed.

Disbelief flashed. “What could you have done?”

Biting her lower lip until she tasted blood, she
stared into the tawny-green-gold eyes watching her with endless love and
patience.

“I…I…I lost our babies,” she whispered in shame,
dropping her gaze from his.

“Lera? What are you talking about?” He gently
lifted her chin so their eyes could meet again.

She wanted to look away. Oh, how she longed to
lower her head and keep her shame that. Hers. But he didn’t let her. Licking
her lips, she touched the still healing scar across her abdomen.

“This attack, this hit, killed our babies. I was
pregnant with twins.” More tears fell. “Now, nothing.”

A muscle ticked in his jaw, and she knew he
fought for control. “Where was Kori?”

“Getting me out of trouble. It was my fault. He
told me to stay away from the fighting but I didn’t listen.” It started to flow
from her lips. “Then, afterward, I realized I’d left the cubs all alone and
wasn’t sure if his wards held up when he’d been knocked unconscious, so I ran
back to them. This…thing…he said a top guard for the
ater malum
rose up
and stabbed me, in the stomach.” She wiped her eyes. “I never even knew I was
pregnant. How can he want to be with me? I killed his kids.”

“He loves you, Lera. I never realized how much
until I knew what he’d gone through so you could have a life growing up. He
would give it all up for you. All he wants is you. You need to talk to him.
This is for you two to work out. Baby, I’m so sorry for your loss. I wish I
could make it better. I can’t, and it tears me up knowing you’re in so much
pain and I can’t do a damn thing about it. Kori is your mate. He was their
father. You’re not the only one hurting.”

“He said it was his fault,” she muttered. “It
wasn’t; it was mine. I disobeyed.”

Dane gave a short bark of laughter. “Lera, you
aren’t his slave; you’re his mate. Why wouldn’t you follow him into a battle?
That’s who you are. You said he was unconscious at one point. Did you leave his
side or did you protect him?”

“I protected him, of course. He couldn’t fight.”

His gaze softened. “Rest, little one. Then, you
need to talk to him.” He brushed a kiss over her temple and went to the door.
“I want to hear about the Haikon over dinner.” He slipped through and shut the
door, leaving her and Adric alone.

She lay back and snuggled up to Adric. He smelled
the same as he did the day they met, of pine and freedom.

‘Are you okay, vaj?’

‘I don’t know, Adric. I really don’t know.’

‘I am sorry I wasn’t there.’

‘You kept me from losing Kori as well, Adric.
Because of you, I got to him in time.’

‘The gods are often cruel.’

‘Yes. I feel like a stranger to him, I don’t
know what to say.’

‘I know little of the matters of humans but
perhaps you should just speak what is in your heart. Your father was right in
that he is hurting. Your mate blames himself, you blame yourself, and neither
of you are sharing with one another. Those babies were a combination of you
both. Not one or the other, both. You each need to grieve but you should do so
and seek comfort from one another.’

‘I don’t want him to blame me.’

‘Vaj, he has come to you. He could have kept
it from you. Your mate is an alpha male; his duty is to keep you and your kids
safe. In his mind, he failed. You pushing him away only makes that more
prevalent to him. You’re telling him what he fears. He’s a failure.’

She stroked Adric’s fur and weighed his words.
‘It’s
not his fault, though. I am the one who ignored his advice of staying away.
Kori’s not to blame. He should be with a woman who will protect his kids.’

‘Enough, vaj!’
Adric snapped.
‘You know
full well he will never be with another. Wolves mate for life. You…are his, his
mate. If you don’t want him, he will allow you that and spend the rest of his
life in the shadows, keeping you safe.’

‘How do you know this?’

Adric sneezed and got to his feet before padding
to the door and hitting the handle with his nose. He pushed through.
‘What
else does he have to do to prove himself to you, vaj? Would you have him cut
out his heart and give it to you? Time to be a mate in more than just name
only.’

His disappointment in her rang loud and clear. He
slid away, and she was totally alone. Well, not entirely true. She had her
self-pity. Sobs lodged in her throat, and she swallowed them down. Grabbing her
stuffed wolf, she buried her head into him instead and gave into her body’s
exhaustion and need for rest.

“Wake up, Lera.”

Stirring, she opened her eyes to find her
twelve-year-old sister, Irinah Daneil, seated beside her. Eyes that were like
their father’s stared down at her.

“Rina? What’s going on? Is it time for dinner?”

“Just about. Mom sent me to wake you, thought you
may want a shower before we eat.”

A shower sounded divine. “She always knows.”

“Yes. Are you okay?”

Lera stared at her sister whose gaze overflowed
with love. Reaching for her hand, Lera gave it a squeeze. “I will be. Just a
little sore.” She sat up and rolled her shoulders, trying to loosen them up.
“How are you?”

“I miss you. It’s not the same at home without you.
But, I’m doing well in school. On the football team.”

“Wonderful. Boyfriend?”

A blush scampered up Rina’s face, and she gasped.
“Lera!”

She laughed, a wonderful feeling. “That’s a yes.
Who is he and do Mom and Dad know?” A very short, very decisive shake of Rina’s
head told her all she needed to know. “I won’t say a word, but you have to tell
me who he is.”

“Promise?”

“Absolutely.” She leaned closer to the youngest
Sidorov. “In fact, since I know how well things are overheard in this family,
you don’t even have to say it, you can write it down then we’ll destroy the
evidence.”

The grin bestowed upon her made her heart light.
Rina hugged her tightly. She could feel the twinge from her injury but it
didn’t matter. All that mattered was her sister’s hug.

“I’ve missed you, Lera.”

“Missed you, too.”

“When are you coming home?”

She sat back and got up from the bed. “Soon.” In
truth, she’d been thinking about going back with them. “I’ll go shower and get
ready for dinner. You,” she mimicked writing, “do that. Be right back.”

Taking her time in the shower, she allowed the
pounding water to help ease her aches. Careful of the wound, she got cleaned up
and finished. Dried and dressed, she stared at her reflection. Her face was
gaunt and beneath her eyes were large bags. The light in the bathroom glinted
off the pendant on her neck, and she picked it up with a slight smile.

Kori had given this to her twelve years ago, She
hadn’t know it was him at the time but know she knew. She used a fingertip to
trace first the silver oval then touch the raised marking in jet. The symbol
was the Ogham letter “C”. C for Cormac.

Her gaze slid downward, and her hand spread out
over her now empty womb. How did one progress forward from this? With the one
who was their other half. Her father had said so; Adric had said so, too. Was
Adric right? Had she been so wrapped up in her own self-pity she hadn’t even
noticed Kori going through the same thing?

Of course she had been. And she needed to fix it.
With a deep sigh, she rubbed her palms against the leather of her pants and
returned to her bedroom. Her sister waited for her, a piece of paper in one
hand.

“This it?” Lera asked, reaching out.

Rina nodded and gave it to her. Opening it, she
read the name of a boy she’d only met a few times. One of her mom’s best
friends’ son. A neighbor’s son.

“Good choice. Is he good to you?”

Her sister blushed and smiled. Tucking it into
her pocket, Lera said, “Wonderful. I’ll burn it tonight because I know we’ll
have a fire.”

“Thank you.”

“Let’s go eat. Don’t want to miss Mom’s cooking.”

Hand in hand, they descended the stairs. Everyone
else was gathered with one exception. Kori wasn’t there. Her heart dropped
faster than a rock in the water. Had he left her? Pasting a smile on her face,
she got to the first floor and joined her family at the table.

Kori wandered aimlessly as a wolf around the
Panteras. He couldn’t stop Lera’s words from echoing in his head.
Stay away
from me!
Every time he thought of them, fresh pain lanced through him. The
moon rose, and he continued to pad through the trees, hoping somehow, somewhere
the pain would lessen.

Stopping at a mountain stream, he lowered his
head for a drink. The air shifted and brought a familiar scent to him.
Immediately, he lifted his head, unsure if he would be embroiled in a fight or
not. Across the flowing water, a large white tiger appeared and shifted into a
man. Kori followed suit and stood there, ready to take any punishment meted
out.

“I think we need to talk,” Dane said, easily
clearing the stream to land before him.

“I won’t fight you, Dane. Do what you will to
me.”

A wry smile lifted the corners of Dane’s normally
stern expression. “I’m not here to fight. I’m here because I think you need to
talk.”

He stared at Lera’s father. “Why do you care?”

“I’m not the enemy, son. But, if you want to vent
first, then go for it. Get it out of your system. I care because you’re my
daughter’s entire world.”

Son. A word he never expected to hear from Dane’s
mouth talking about him.

“You know I hurt your daughter. Why are you being
nice to me?”

“I know this. You and my daughter are hurting. I
don’t know what it’s like to lose a child, much less two, but I know you two
need each other.”

“How did you know?”

“Lera told me.”

“Everyone?”

“No. Just me.”

“I should have been able to protect her and our
babies.” Kori punched a tree trunk, grateful for the pain. “I couldn’t.”

“You can’t always be there to protect your mate.”

“But I was there. And I still couldn’t.”

“You did protect her. She’s still breathing
because you saved her.”

“But not our kids.”

“Hard to protect something you don’t know is
there. I know that doesn’t ease the pain of your burden, but stop beating
yourself up for something neither of you knew.” A strong hand clamped around
Kori’s arm and rotated him. Dane’s gaze was eerie in the moonlight. “My
daughter is of the mind you would be better off without her.”