A Map of Betrayal (37 page)

When we came back that night, I booted up my computer and accessed the secret email account again. A message appeared:

Dear Aunt Lilian:

By the time you read this, Sonya and I are no longer in the Boston area. We are very fond of Massachusetts but unable to live there anymore. I just sold my business at a huge discount so that I could get some ready cash. I am not sure where Sonya and I will end up, but we have each other and will share all our good and bad fortunes. As long as she is with me, I can live anywhere and won’t be lonesome. I will cherish her as my sole companion and will love her as my wife and the mother of my children
.

There will be consequences for my family back in China on my account, and I won’t be able to do anything for them for a long time, but I believe that with your help they will survive. Among my family members, I am most worried about Juli, who is, as I am, untamed at heart. I fear she might flee home again given that the provincial life can be prosaic and stifling. But as long as she is with our parents, she should be all right. So please always urge her to stay home. Also, don’t let them know of my present situation yet. It’s better to keep them in the dark for now
.

I feel liberated as we are traveling along. For the first time in my life I am acting as an independent man, also as a man without a country. I have decided to grow a beard. Yes, let it get as thick as a forest so I will look older and a little fierce. Whether Sonya and I will be able to live decently, I am not sure, but we are willing to accept all the joys and sorrows that come our way. This is the true condition of freedom, isn’t it?

Love from both of us
,

Ben

PS: Originally I planned to come to DC next spring to pay my respects to your parents, but I will not be able to do that anymore. When you go visit them in the cemetery next time, please take along two bouquets, of white chrysanthemums or roses, on behalf of me and Sonya
.

I felt that Ben’s escape was a natural step, but he might have been rash to dispose of his business like that. On the other hand, that must have been his only way to get funds for the road.

I wondered about Ben and Sonya. Did they cross the border into Canada? That was unlikely. Ben had once said there was too much Chinese influence in Canada when I half-joked that he should consider immigrating to Quebec like a U.S. draft dodger. He and Sonya might still be in the States. Their immediate task was to elude the FBI and the Chinese investigators, so for now they might have to continue to travel. Wherever they went, I was certain they could survive.

I read Ben’s message again, then deleted it. I couldn’t help smiling about his decision to grow a beard, which sounded a shade eccentric. I supposed it could be his way to assert his manhood, at least in appearance. Ben didn’t know my parents had been buried in different cemeteries, but I’d bring them flowers as he requested. I left him a message saying that he and Sonya must take care of each other and must avoid making friends for the time being.

My words got erased the next morning. That pleased me.

Through Juli I informed my sister and her husband that Ben was working on a special project that imposed strict isolation on him, but that he was well and they shouldn’t worry. Juli wrote back and thanked me on behalf of her parents. She reminded me of the next summer’s family reunion, to which I again promised to come.

Weeks have passed, and I still haven’t heard another word from Ben. I try to stay undisturbed. The silence might mean everything is okay.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I am grateful to LuAnn Walther, Catherine Tung, and Lane Zachary. Their comments and suggestions made this novel richer and stronger.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Ha Jin left his native China in 1985 to attend Brandeis University. He is the author of six novels, four story collections, three volumes of poetry, and a book of essays. He has received the National Book Award, two PEN/Faulkner Awards, the PEN/Hemingway Foundation Award, the Asian American Literary Award, and the Flannery O’Connor Award for Short Fiction. In 2014 he was elected to the American Academy of Arts and Letters. Ha Jin lives in the Boston area and is a professor of English at Boston University.