A Matter of Principle (51 page)

Now Kirstie was rocked, storied, kissed and tucked in her bed. Before Sydney turned down Stefan’s lamp and kissed him goodnight, he determinedly read her a chapter from James Cooper’s novel
The Spy
, even though he paused for assistance every few sentences. Leif played checkers with John in the Spencer’s apartment.

At loose ends, and quite curious, Sydney made a pot of coffee to take into Nicolas’s study. She paused outside the door. Holding the tray to the side, she listened.

“
What the hell were you thinking, Hansen?” That had to be Caldecott. Sydney knocked softly, and pushed the door open.

“
I don’t know…” Nicolas responded. He sat by the hearth, elbows on his knees, flipping squares of inked parchment into the flames. He watched them burn and didn’t look at her.

“
Coffee, gentlemen?” Sydney set the tray on Nicolas’s desk.

“
Thank you, Sydney,” John McGovern smiled at her. “That was quite thoughtful, my dear.”

“
If you are holding my husband hostage, at the least I want you to be refreshed,” Sydney teased.

“
Hostage?” Ashton Caldecott snorted. “What’s the point?”

Sydney glanced at Nicolas’s back. The slump of his shoulders, limned in orange from the fire, spoke volumes. Her gaze slid to Rickard and she lifted her brows. He shrugged and shook his head.

“
What are you discussing? If you don’t mind my asking.” Sydney kept her voice light. She poured mugs of coffee.

“
We are discussing this!” Ashton held up the
St. Louis Enquirer
, crumpled in his fist.

“
Oh, Nicolas’s speech?” Sydney handed Ashton a mug of coffee. “Would you care for brandy, Ashton?”

“
Uh, yes. And yes.” He held out his mug while Sydney poured brandy into his coffee. “Thank you.”

“
John?” Sydney held the bottle ready. “Would you care for some in your coffee?”

“
I suppose. But only a little, thank you. Is there cream?”

Sydney handed him a small white pitcher.

“
I’ll skip the coffee,” Nate Busby grabbed an empty mug from the tray. Sydney grinned and poured him a generous brandy.

Sydney fixed her eyes on the last guest. “Rickard?”

He stood and walked to her. “Coffee only for now, thank you.” His hazel eyes met hers, his expression grim. When she handed him the cup, he laid his hand over hers and squeezed.

“
So what did you all think of Nicolas’s words?” Sydney asked. She crossed the study to her husband and handed him a mug of black coffee and brandy. “He certainly garnered everyone’s attention, did he not?”

Nicolas’s eyes lifted to hers. He accepted the coffee without a word. His defeated countenance wrenched her heart. Her knees failed her, and she sank into a chair close to his.

“
Attention?” Caldecott sneered. “That he did.”

“
Ashton, all is not lost!” John posited.

“
No?”

“
I agree with John,” Rickard stated. “In spite of these messages, the opinions of a few ignorant city-dwellers do not represent the opinions of every man in the county!”

“
And they most likely don’t own land if they live in the city,” Sydney observed.

Ashton shrugged. “Perhaps not. But even so…”

“
Even so, it’s bad business. Nick is up against a powerful man,” Nate interjected. “He has money, position, property.”

“
Exactly my point! Nick, you handed the man every weapon he needed to defeat you!” Ashton smacked a palm against his forehead. “I cannot fathom your thoughts on this!”

Everyone in the room stared at Nicolas; he stared into the fire, unmoving. His jaw clenched and Sydney saw his knuckles whiten as he gripped the coffee mug.

“
Were the letters all bad?” Sydney whispered.

He nodded.

“
You are not regretting your speech, are you?”

His eyes shifted to hers. Blue-black in the firelight, intent under lowered brows, they pinned her. His head shook the tiniest bit. Sydney’s mouth softened to the hint of a smile. Husband and wife understood each other.

Sydney stood. “I shall leave you men to your discussion.” She crossed to the coffee service and lifted the tray. She walked to the door of the study and turned to face the committee. “But before I go, I do have one thing to say, if I may?”

“
Go ahead, Sydney,” Rickard said.

“
I am so very proud to be associated with the candidate, Nicolas Hansen.” She lifted her chin and made eye contact with each of the committeemen. “What good is a representative who cannot be trusted? A legislator who lies to procure his election? We are part of a young empire, one still finding its way through rough terrain. Those who lead this nation must be worthy of the calling.”

Gazes ricocheted around the room.

Rickard cleared his throat. “Let us pray that the men of St. Louis County understand their part in that legacy, Sydney.”

“
I have been,” she replied. “And I shall continue to do so. Goodnight, gentleman.”



Nicolas pushed the bedroom door open. A single candle was close to guttering in its pewter dish on his oak dresser. Sydney turned over in the bed; he saw her eyes glitter in the faint light.

“
What time is it?” she whispered.

“
Nearly midnight. Rickard is staying over.” Nicolas sat in the old rocker and pushed each boot off with the opposite foot. “He had too much to drink.”

She sat up. “And you?”

“
I had enough.” Truly, his head swam more than he expected. It required too much effort to get up from the rocker and undress, so he simply sat. Sydney pushed back the covers and got out of bed. As she moved toward him in her long white nightgown, she looked like a black-haired angel. His own guardian angel.
She always saves me.

“
Save me,
min presang
,” he pleaded.

Sydney pulled the ottoman next to the rocker and sat facing Nicolas. She took his calloused hand in her soft, warm ones. Even in the dim light, her eyes radiated empathy. “Were they particularly hard on you, husband?”

“
Caldecott was near apoplexy. He kept asking what possessed me to say such things. John McGovern—well, you know John—he tried to make peace, but it was fairly clear he agreed with Ashton.” Nicolas scrubbed his jaw with his free hand. “Busby didn’t have much to say. He mostly sat and scowled.”

Sydney massaged his hand. It felt good. “And Rickard?”

“
Rickard loves me. He tried to bring a balance, keep everything optimistic, but Caldecott overpowered him.” Nicolas scratched his head. “When the others left, though, he tore into me.”

“
He did?” Sydney’s brows arched. “What did he say?”

“
I don’t recall, precisely. A lot of ‘you have to be smarter’ and ‘tell the people what they want to hear.’ Then something about ‘the goal is to be elected.’ I think his point was that the end justifies the means.”

Sydney’s eyes pinned him. “Do you agree?”

Nicolas heaved a deep sigh. “No. Perhaps. Yes.”

Sydney chuckled. “Are you sure?”

Nicolas smiled, in spite of his mood. “It is the general opinion that my honesty was a mistake.”

“
Hmm.”

Nicolas tilted his head. “What are you thinking?”

Sydney lifted his knuckles to her lips. She kissed each one, leaving them damp while her warm breath tickled his skin. Then she rested his fist against her cheek. “I am thinking that you had no other choice but to reveal the man that you are.”

“
Truly?”

“
To do less is to cheat those you hoped to lead. It is akin to selling one product, but slipping another secretly in its place,” Sydney stated, her conviction clear.

Nicolas slumped a bit. “I suppose you’re right. But that is the path of politics; or so it appears.”

Sydney shrugged. “Nicolas, you have to remain true to your convictions. Others might play fast and loose with their promises, but you would not be able to live with yourself if you did so.”

Nicolas knew she was right. But at this moment, a deep disappointment pressed against his chest and thickened his throat. “I wanted to change the world,” he mumbled. “That sounds rather foolish now, considering.”

Sydney leaned back and cocked one eyebrow. “You cannot be serious, husband.”

“
Why not?” he queried, puzzled at her reaction.

The candle flickered and went out. Sydney let go of his hand and stood. Nicolas watched her white gown float ghost-like across the dark room. The bedroom door opened, a light in the hall brightened, and she returned with a freshly lit candle. She settled it into the pewter candlestick on the dresser and carried it to the hearth.

“
Why am I not serious?” Nicolas repeated.

Sydney returned to the ottoman. The candlelight made her eyes look as black as her hair. Her full lips were deep coral in the soft glow. His eyes rested there.

“
Are you not aware of the worlds you have already changed?” she whispered.

Nicolas gave a dismissive wave. “Not like I hoped.”

“
Oh? Well I doubt Jack would feel that way. His world no longer encompasses brutal beatings or separation from his wife,” Sydney began. “In his changed world, he is a slave in name only. He earns a decent living, he is a foreman over two hundred acres and dozens of workers, and he will be a father again this year. Does that not count?”

“
Sydney…”

“
Or Jeremy and Anne? Their changed world involves owning a cabin of their own design in which to raise a family; employment for the rest of their lives, should they choose to remain; and money invested to provide for their old age. But that does not count either, apparently,” her voice grew louder. “Nor does your promised protection for their ‘half-breed’ offspring!”

Sydney’s words swirled in his mind, confusing him. “But…”

“
What about Leif’s world? In the old one, on another continent no less, he was a ‘bastard orphan’! In his new world, he has a name, a family, a home and a future. Will you go down the hall and tell him you have failed?” she challenged.

Nicolas stood, wavered, and crossed the room. He gripped the footboard and leaned on his hands. “It’s not the same!” he protested.

Sydney stood as well. “Shall I go down to the apartment you had built onto this manor and ask Addie and John if you have changed their world? Or Maribeth, whom you took to Norway? Is her world not changed?”

Nicolas turned to face her. He had no words.

“
What about Stefan?” Sydney’s voice softened. “And what about me? Both of us experienced devastating losses, and you created a new world for both of us. With you.”

“
That wasn’t my doing, Sydney.” Nicolas lifted one hand. “That was you.”

She moved to him, and stood in front of him. He felt the warmth of her body and he smelled the rose water she rinsed through her hair. She stared up at him.

“
You are the center of our worlds, Nicolas. You hold all of us together. And it’s because of who you are. In here.” Sydney pushed her forefinger against his chest, over his heart. “We love you. I love you. And I am so damn proud of you—” Her voice caught. She sniffed and swallowed. “Don’t you ever dare to belittle the things you have done! Because for those of us you saved, our worlds will never be the same!”

Nicolas looked down at the indomitable woman who completed him in ways he could not explain. He wanted nothing more at this moment than to lie down in her arms. “You saved me,
min presang
,” he mumbled. “Take me to bed.”

A soft smile played over Sydney’s countenance. She tugged at the tail of Nicolas’s shirt and he bent over so she could pull it over his head. He unfastened his flies and pushed his breeches to his knees. He rested his hands on Sydney’s shoulders and stepped from the garment. She took his hand and led him to the huge bed. He crawled onto it and collapsed.

Sydney blew out the candle and climbed into the bed, folding herself around him. Her warmth flowed through him, the caress of her skin soothed him. He could feel her breasts press against his back. He calmed; thoughts of the campaign left him. His awareness shrank to the bedroom, then to the mattress, then to the woman who held him.

He slept.

Chapter Thirty Nine

May 21, 1822

Cheltenham

Kirstie clung to Sydney’s leg. “
Mamma
stay here!” she admonished, blue-gray eyes wide above an intent pout.

This was Sydney’s first chance to ride since they returned from St. Louis. She lifted her daughter with some effort. The sturdy girl was tall for twenty-eight months, and solidly built. Just like her father. “I am going to ride Sessa, Kirstie. I will be back soon.”

“
No! I go with you!” Kirstie wrapped her arms around Sydney’s neck, pressing cheek to cheek.

“
Sweetie, you are too little.”