A Memory Away (5 page)
Authors: Taylor Lewis
Tags: #Gay & Lesbian, #Literature & Fiction, #Fiction, #Gay, #Romance, #Contemporary, #Gay Romance, #Genre Fiction, #Romantic Comedy
Kyle
blinked at the wall inches from his face and then looked down at his softening cock still cradled in his nameless partner’s hand. He tried to stifle a very embarrassing giggle. “That would be most definitely yes.” He winced when he felt the heat leave his back and the cock inside him slip free and then jumped when his birthmark was gently kissed once more before his shirt was pulled down to cover his back and ass. He scrabbled for the waistband of his jeans and pulled them up without turning round, fumbling to tuck his shirt back in and get himself zipped up.
“Hey,” Hands came arou
nd and covered his shaking ones and then he was being turned and propped up against the wall while he stared dumbly down and saw those big hands nimbly get him tidied up and made presentable once more. “It’s okay. You’re alright.” A finger hooked under his chin and tilted his head up until he was looking into smiling eyes. “Feeling a bit weird, huh?”
More li
ke thoroughly ashamed of myself
, thought Kyle, cringing when he realised he had been howling like a dog at the end and they were mere feet away from the street where anyone could have seen them. Filled with a sudden panic he wrenched his head to the side and was only partially reassured to see there was no one standing there gawping at his descent into shameless anonymous sex.
The guy laughed again and tugged his face back round, dropping a kiss on the tip of his nose. “Relax,
no one else saw. I don’t share.” He kissed Kyle’s nose again. “Not even on a loaner.”
Kyle
frowned. “Loaner? I don’t understand.”
The man opened his mouth again but before he could reply the back door to the club opened cautiously and a man’s voice called quietly, “Hey, you still out here?”
“Fuck.” The man hissed quietly and grinned apologetically at Kyle before raising his voice and calling back, “Yeah, Danny. You okay?”
“Yeah.” There was an awkward pause and then
Danny – who Kyle assumed was the Asian man that had stopped them on the way out of the club – said uncomfortably, “We, uh, gotta go, man. People are looking for us.”
“Right.” The man looked down at
Kyle for a moment, paused and then said regretfully, “That’s our cue.” He stepped back and gestured for Kyle to precede him. “After you.” He grinned when Kyle’s eyes flickered down and stared at the front of his jeans and said, “Took care of me before I did you.” He caught Kyle’s arm when he winced with another bolt of shame and tried to step past him, muttering, “Just...one more for the road, okay?”
Kyle
’s eyes barely had time to widen in sudden alarm – was the guy expecting him to have a threesome with his friend? – before he found himself pulled into muscled arms and his mouth taken in a long, luxurious kiss. He gripped firm biceps and let himself melt into the embrace, loving the way big hands cupped the back of his head and gripped his ass and then he was turned loose and blinking up at a surprisingly sweet smile.
“T
hanks.” The guy dropped a last chaste kiss to his mouth and reluctantly released him, pulling him to the door and past his embarrassed looking friend. He didn’t speak again until they were back in the club and Kyle was being presented to Megan like the prize from a particularly successful hunt. “Back safe and sound.” The guy winked at Megan and then brushed his knuckles along Kyle’s chin and grinned. “Might see you around.” He went to turn away and then paused, looking over his shoulder. “You stay together when you leave here and get a cab home, okay? Don’t walk or get the bus or subway.” His gaze lingered on Kyle’s kiss swollen mouth for a moment and then lifted to his dazed eyes. “There are some nasty bastards around out there.”
Kyle
nodded. “Okay. Thanks.” He watched as another blinding smile was shot his way and then a hand was lifted and his mohawked hook-up was gone.
Megan
gripped his arm and all but yelled, “What the hell was that? Are you out of your goddamned mind?” She shook him when he stayed staring at the spot the man had been and said more gently, “Kyle? What happened? Are you okay?”
Kyle
turned his head in reaction to the concern in her voice and blinked slowly. “I can’t feel my knees.”
Looking startled for a moment,
Megan stared and then cracked a grin. “That good, huh?”
A wide, satisfied smile split
Kyle’s face and he let himself feel the ache in his ass from his encounter. “Oh my God, yes. Loss of feeling in my lower extremities was totally worth it.”
Two months later he discovered he was pregnant.
Whenever he had allowed himself to think of his anonymous hook-up the one memory that was always strong was the feeling of those strong hands holding and moulding his body and the amazingly sweet kisses that seemed incongruous in the context of a back alley fuck. Kyle shuddered as he thought of those hands raised against him in anger – a very real possibility if Jonah found out about Shea and reacted badly.
H
e thought again of the soft kisses and the gentle manner Jonah had displayed in the aftermath of their first encounter. Maybe, in his heart of hearts, he was starting to think that the man that had been so careful with him in the club and who had tried to be reassuring and comforting over the vandalism and in its aftermath was someone who deserved to know he had fathered a child. He traced a finger over Shea’s face again and thought about his son being denied his other parent and another person that might love him and cherish him as he grew up. The idea that he might deny his beloved baby that just because he was shamed and scared to approach Jonah left an increasingly bad taste in his mouth.
“
Kyle, sweetie?” He looked up, startled, when Megan knocked on the door and poked her head in the office. “You okay? You’ve been in here a while.” Her eyes dropped to the photo frame and she winced. “Oh. Thinking about Shea and Jonah, huh?”
Kyle
smiled wanly at her and gently set the frame back on his desk. “Yes.” He gave Shea one last look and then nodded decisively. “Yes, I’ve decided something too.” His shoulders straightening with new purpose and courage, Kyle lifted his head and said firmly, “I’m going to tell him. I’m going to tell Jonah he’s Shea’s father.”
blinked at the wall inches from his face and then looked down at his softening cock still cradled in his nameless partner’s hand. He tried to stifle a very embarrassing giggle. “That would be most definitely yes.” He winced when he felt the heat leave his back and the cock inside him slip free and then jumped when his birthmark was gently kissed once more before his shirt was pulled down to cover his back and ass. He scrabbled for the waistband of his jeans and pulled them up without turning round, fumbling to tuck his shirt back in and get himself zipped up.
“Hey,” Hands came arou
nd and covered his shaking ones and then he was being turned and propped up against the wall while he stared dumbly down and saw those big hands nimbly get him tidied up and made presentable once more. “It’s okay. You’re alright.” A finger hooked under his chin and tilted his head up until he was looking into smiling eyes. “Feeling a bit weird, huh?”
More li
ke thoroughly ashamed of myself
, thought Kyle, cringing when he realised he had been howling like a dog at the end and they were mere feet away from the street where anyone could have seen them. Filled with a sudden panic he wrenched his head to the side and was only partially reassured to see there was no one standing there gawping at his descent into shameless anonymous sex.
The guy laughed again and tugged his face back round, dropping a kiss on the tip of his nose. “Relax,
no one else saw. I don’t share.” He kissed Kyle’s nose again. “Not even on a loaner.”
Kyle
frowned. “Loaner? I don’t understand.”
The man opened his mouth again but before he could reply the back door to the club opened cautiously and a man’s voice called quietly, “Hey, you still out here?”
“Fuck.” The man hissed quietly and grinned apologetically at Kyle before raising his voice and calling back, “Yeah, Danny. You okay?”
“Yeah.” There was an awkward pause and then
Danny – who Kyle assumed was the Asian man that had stopped them on the way out of the club – said uncomfortably, “We, uh, gotta go, man. People are looking for us.”
“Right.” The man looked down at
Kyle for a moment, paused and then said regretfully, “That’s our cue.” He stepped back and gestured for Kyle to precede him. “After you.” He grinned when Kyle’s eyes flickered down and stared at the front of his jeans and said, “Took care of me before I did you.” He caught Kyle’s arm when he winced with another bolt of shame and tried to step past him, muttering, “Just...one more for the road, okay?”
Kyle
’s eyes barely had time to widen in sudden alarm – was the guy expecting him to have a threesome with his friend? – before he found himself pulled into muscled arms and his mouth taken in a long, luxurious kiss. He gripped firm biceps and let himself melt into the embrace, loving the way big hands cupped the back of his head and gripped his ass and then he was turned loose and blinking up at a surprisingly sweet smile.
“T
hanks.” The guy dropped a last chaste kiss to his mouth and reluctantly released him, pulling him to the door and past his embarrassed looking friend. He didn’t speak again until they were back in the club and Kyle was being presented to Megan like the prize from a particularly successful hunt. “Back safe and sound.” The guy winked at Megan and then brushed his knuckles along Kyle’s chin and grinned. “Might see you around.” He went to turn away and then paused, looking over his shoulder. “You stay together when you leave here and get a cab home, okay? Don’t walk or get the bus or subway.” His gaze lingered on Kyle’s kiss swollen mouth for a moment and then lifted to his dazed eyes. “There are some nasty bastards around out there.”
Kyle
nodded. “Okay. Thanks.” He watched as another blinding smile was shot his way and then a hand was lifted and his mohawked hook-up was gone.
Megan
gripped his arm and all but yelled, “What the hell was that? Are you out of your goddamned mind?” She shook him when he stayed staring at the spot the man had been and said more gently, “Kyle? What happened? Are you okay?”
Kyle
turned his head in reaction to the concern in her voice and blinked slowly. “I can’t feel my knees.”
Looking startled for a moment,
Megan stared and then cracked a grin. “That good, huh?”
A wide, satisfied smile split
Kyle’s face and he let himself feel the ache in his ass from his encounter. “Oh my God, yes. Loss of feeling in my lower extremities was totally worth it.”
Two months later he discovered he was pregnant.
Whenever he had allowed himself to think of his anonymous hook-up the one memory that was always strong was the feeling of those strong hands holding and moulding his body and the amazingly sweet kisses that seemed incongruous in the context of a back alley fuck. Kyle shuddered as he thought of those hands raised against him in anger – a very real possibility if Jonah found out about Shea and reacted badly.
H
e thought again of the soft kisses and the gentle manner Jonah had displayed in the aftermath of their first encounter. Maybe, in his heart of hearts, he was starting to think that the man that had been so careful with him in the club and who had tried to be reassuring and comforting over the vandalism and in its aftermath was someone who deserved to know he had fathered a child. He traced a finger over Shea’s face again and thought about his son being denied his other parent and another person that might love him and cherish him as he grew up. The idea that he might deny his beloved baby that just because he was shamed and scared to approach Jonah left an increasingly bad taste in his mouth.
“
Kyle, sweetie?” He looked up, startled, when Megan knocked on the door and poked her head in the office. “You okay? You’ve been in here a while.” Her eyes dropped to the photo frame and she winced. “Oh. Thinking about Shea and Jonah, huh?”
Kyle
smiled wanly at her and gently set the frame back on his desk. “Yes.” He gave Shea one last look and then nodded decisively. “Yes, I’ve decided something too.” His shoulders straightening with new purpose and courage, Kyle lifted his head and said firmly, “I’m going to tell him. I’m going to tell Jonah he’s Shea’s father.”
Chapter 6
.
Kyle’s neighbourhood no one was more surprised than the investigating detectives. Especially since Jonah felt like he could barely put one foot in front of the other thanks to waking the last three nights hard as a rock and having images of Kyle Gerritsen in various states of arousal shaking under his hands. He rubbed a weary hand over his eyes and tried to quash the annoyance he felt with the two teenaged kids sitting with their hands cuffed behind their backs and sniffling miserably at him.
“You’re not gonna tell my mom, are you?” The blonde boy, looking barely more than thirteen, sniffed disgustingly and looked petrified when he peered up at
Jonah from his seat on the deli shop floor he had been caught spray painting by the terrifying two hundred and fifty pound owner. “She’ll get really mad.”
Jonah
dropped his hand and glared downwards. “Kid, I’m really mad. Trust me; your mom is the least of your worries.” He jerked his head to indicate Lopez taking the statement of the woman who had discovered the vandals and, by judicious use of her impressive bulk, had kept them trapped in her doorway whilst she made a citizen’s arrest and called the cops. “And if you don’t stop with the crying and pissing me off I’m gonna turn you back over to Mrs Abretti over there and let her beat your skinny asses bloody, you got me?”
The blonde kid’s Hispanic sidekick shot an alarmed look at the fearsome looking Mrs Abretti and burst into noisy, gulping sobs.
Jonah, unable to believe that these were the crack crime lords that had been running him and his partner ragged for the best part of the last month, rolled his eyes and raised his voice to call across to Lopez. “Hey, you got a Kleenex or something?” He looked down at his two prisoners when the blonde kid broke down along with his partner and sighed heavily. “Swear to God, you end up pissing yourselves and I’m making you walk to the station. No way are you getting in my car, my captain’ll never spring to get it cleaned up.”
~*~*~*~
Kyle looked up when the shop door opened, his heart thumping into overdrive in reflex thanks to Jonah randomly appearing whenever he seemed to least expect it. His face broke into a brilliant smile when Louise pushed Shea’s stroller onto the shop floor. “Hi, this is a nice surprise. Everything okay?” He hurried out from behind the counter and waved at his son when Shea crowed delightedly and began to wriggle against his restraints and lift his arms for his daddy to pick him up. “To what to I owe the honour?”
Louise
smiled and waved at Megan when she appeared from out back. “No reason. We were meeting some friends at the park and thought we’d walk past the bakery and pick up some onion bread to go with dinner.” She grinned when Kyle freed Shea from his stroller and lifted him into his arms and the baby squealed with delight. “I was gonna try and sneak him past, but....” She shrugged and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “He spotted the shop and started to stage a break out so I thought five minutes of daddy time was a pretty fair trade off against the two hour tantrum if I didn’t bring him into see you. That’s okay, right?”
Kyle
beamed and pressed a smacking kiss to his son’s smiling face, laughing when Shea flung his arms around his neck to hug him. “More than okay.” He turned when Megan joined them and bounced his son in his arms. “Look who came to visit. Are you going to say hi to Auntie Megan, baby? Can you say hi?”
Shea
, a boy who knew which side his croissant was buttered and thoroughly approved of Megan and her addiction to anything sugary and technically bad for him, obligingly tried to fling himself out of Kyle’s arms and into his honorary auntie’s with a happy cry of, “Da!”
Megan
laughed and accepted the gesture as it was meant. “Hey there, white boy. How’s the Gerritsen prince doing today? You good?” She settled Shea’s squirming body against her comfortable bosom and chucked him under his chin. “You been having fun with Louise at the park?”
“No!”
Shea yelled the only other word he could really say with any clarity and patted her grinning face. “No! Da!”
Kyle
squinted suspiciously at Louise. “Has he had sugar? Have you given him candy?”
Laughing,
Louise licked her forefinger and sketched a cross over her heart, deadpanning, “Just high on life, I swear.” She grinned at Shea when he wrapped his fingers around the chunky oversized necklace Megan was wearing and leaned back in her embrace to shake them like reins on a horse. “He hit the ground running this morning and hasn’t stopped since.”
Kyle
skated a loving hand over Shea’s messy mop of dark curls and laughed ruefully. “Doesn’t he always?” He bent to the floor when Shea managed to kick off one of his baby Nikes and busied himself trying to recapture the foot and re-shoe his child. “What have you got planned for the rest of the day? I thought I might....” He turned his head when the shop door opened again and then snapped upright, his eyes going wide like a trapped animal’s and unintentionally yanking on Shea’s foot hard enough to make him squawk with surprise. “Oh God.”
“Jesus,” breathed
Megan, clutching Shea to her like she was trying to protect him from an invading horde. “I...” She stared wide-eyed at Jonah and Lopez walking into the shop and then at Kyle, whispering frantically, “Should I get him out of here?”
Kyle
looked, horrified, at Jonah, and then back at his teeny-tiny clone still bouncing in Megan arms. Aside from the mop of curls and the Bert and Ernie t-shirt, Shea could have passed for Jonah’s Mini-Me. He licked dry lips and opened his mouth to say something -anything- and tried to ignore the puzzled look on Louise’s face but Jonah beat him to the punch.
“Hey.”
Jonah sauntered across the floor towards the little group and nodded politely at Louise in greeting. “Got some news on your case and thought you might appreciate a head’s up.” He smiled at Kyle’s white face and tried very hard not to remember the previous night’s dream which involved that self-same face flushed and dazed and with kiss swollen lips. “We caught the perps. Turned out it was just a couple of bored kids.” He shoved his hands in his jeans pockets and hunched a shoulder in Lopez’s direction when she pulled up at his side and nodded her own greeting. “We’ve been notifying everyone involved.”
His whole body flushing hot and cold with panic,
Kyle nodded and croaked out, “Thank you.” His eyes flickered to Shea – who was suffering a fit of baby shyness and observing the newcomers from the safety of having his head tucked into Megan’ neck – and then back to Jonah. Yes he had made the decision to tell Jonah, but not like
this
. He wanted to do it right, do it properly, and most importantly not do it anywhere near his precious child where Shea could be frightened or hurt if things went badly. Oh God, he wasn’t ready for this.
Jonah
nodded. “It’s pretty standard.” He ignored Lopez snorting to herself beside him and then appeared to notice Shea for the first time. “Oh, hey, this your kid?” He grinned uncomfortably when Kyle and Megan looked like they were going to have simultaneous heart attacks and pulled a hand free from his pocket to waggle a finger in Shea’s direction. “S’up, dude?”
Shea
blinked at him and then buried his face in Megan’s shoulder with a bashful squeal.
Jonah
rolled his eyes and nodded mockingly at Kyle. “Wow, really is your kid, huh?”
“He’s just shy.”
Louise spoke when both Kyle and Megan stayed silent and held out her hand when Jonah glanced at her. “Hi, I’m Louise, Shea’s nanny.” She shot a puzzled look at her boss when Kyle muffled a high pitched sound in his throat. “Nice to meet you.”
“Detective
Goldman.” Jonah shot Kyle a baffled look of his own whilst he shook Louise’s hand – the guy seemed to be more highly strung than the average race horse and that just couldn’t be healthy. His face creased in a secretive smile when he wondered what it would take to get Kyle to make that high pitched noise again - he bet it would be interesting to find out.
Louise
, wondering why Kyle and Megan were acting like they were perpetrators of a crime instead of victims, smiled absently back and then froze, her eyes rounding in her face. The twist of Jonah’s full mouth and the sly glint in his eyes as he looked sidelong at Kyle was familiar somehow. The last time she had seen it Shea had been conducting a stealth attack on a bag of corn chips someone had left carelessly lying open at toddler level. She stared some more and then her jaw dropped as she turned her head to blink in dawning comprehension at the back of Shea’s head, still buried in Megan neck. “Oh!” Dropping Jonah’s hand like it had burnt her, Louise took a hasty step back in shocked understanding. “Oh my God!”
“Huh?”
Jonah frowned when he looked back at the nanny and saw she was staring at him like she’d just seen a ghost. “You okay?”
“Uh-huh.”
Louise nodded frantically, well aware of the absence of Shea’s other father in his life, even if she didn’t know the exact circumstances. “I, uh, just re...relieved th..th...that you ca...caught...the...the....” She sent Kyle a helpless look and then turned her bugging eyes back on Jonah. “I...we....um.”
Lopez narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “You
take anything today, miss?” She looked Louise over from head to toe, taking in the dyed hair and emo clothing and evidently drawing Dire Conclusions. “You got anything on you that you shouldn’t?”
“No!”
Louise looked offended and terrified all at once. “Of co...course not! Th...that’s ri...ri...ri....”
“
Louise,” Kyle interrupted before the poor girl spontaneously combusted on the spot. “You’d better get Shea back, it’s nearly time for his nap.” He was very proud his voice only trembled slightly as he plucked his son from Megan’s arms and pressed a kiss to the top of his sweet smelling head. “Bye, baby-boy. See you at home.” He handed the child to Louise and then turned to Lopez with a dangerous look on his face. “As for you, detective, I appreciate you coming down here to give us the information, but I will not allow you to insult my friend and the person I trust to care for my son. Louise is above reproach and if I hear another disgusting insinuation like that from your mouth I will be contacting your precinct when you leave and registering a complaint with your superiors, is that clear?”
Looking like they had been just been unexpectedly savaged by a teddy bear, Lopez and
Jonah stared at Kyle with their mouths hanging open.
Kyle
crossed his arms and tilted his chin in challenge, tapping his foot impatiently. Terrified and cowardly he might be when it came to telling Jonah about the existence of his son but no one bullied and insulted his friends on his watch. “I said, is that clear?”
“Uh, yeah.” Lopez blinked at
Kyle with surprised respect. “Sure. Sorry.” She turned to Louise and frowned when she caught the other woman still staring at Jonah in stunned fascination. “Sorry about that. You can’t be too careful, right?”
Louise
dragged her eyes away from Jonah and nodded distractedly. “Th...thank you.” She looked down at Shea’s face, now watching the strangers with interest, and then looked back at Jonah like she was a needle on a compass and he was due north. “It’s fine.”
Lopez narrowed her eyes sure to her well-shaped bones that something weird was going on here. She glanced at
Jonah but he was too busy staring at Kyle like he wanted to throw him face down over the shop counter and didn’t much care that he had an audience that included the little guy’s infant son. Speaking of...Lopez looked back at where Louise was now bending down and fastening a mildly protesting Shea back into his stroller. She swayed forwards a little trying to see what was so damn special about the kid that the three weirdoes thought was worth freaking out over. She felt her confusion increase when she found herself looking at a pretty standard non-descript vaguely person shaped blob sitting grumpily whilst he was fastened into his seat. She cocked her head to the side and squinted, hoping that would bring things into focus. Nope, still standard issue vomit machine. Lopez straightened as Louise stood up and got behind the stroller to grip the handles so tight her knuckles showed white through her skin. “Nice kid.”
It was the desperate look of guilt in
Jonah’s direction that did it. Louise nodded and squeaked, “Th..thanks. Bye. It was ni...nice to me...me....meet you.”
Lopez cast a look in
Jonah’s direction and rolled her eyes to see him still eyeing Kyle like a lion weighing up a nice juicy steak - seriously, did the man think of nothing but his dick and where he was going to stick it next - and the world suddenly stopped in one moment of crystal clarity.
Her head snapped back to stare down at
Shea as he was wheeled towards and then past her at high speed by Louise and she took in his features and colouring – nothing like Kyle Gerritsen’s but bearing a striking resemblance to another person not a million miles from there. “Fuck me,” she breathed incredulously. “No fucking
way
.” She cast a quick look at Jonah and Kyle and then at Megan – reassured to see that the other woman was watching the two men worriedly and not paying attention to her – and reached for her cell in her pocket. “Hey, Goldman, wrap it up. We got places to be.” Now her suspicions had been raised, Lopez paid much closer attention to the reactions of Kyle and Megan and - unlikely though the outrageous conclusion was that she had just leapt to - a cold ball of anger started to grow in her gut when she saw unmistakable expressions of relief flood their faces. “I’ll meet you outside.”
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