A Merry Little Christmas (12 page)

Mad Gran’s great though. I mean totally bonkers, and she keeps thinking I’m Mum, but she doesn’t judge me. She always listens, and seems to understand.

‘It will be all right,’ she said, and she held my hand.

‘Come on, Harry, come on, Daisy, let’s see where the Easter Bunny’s hidden the eggs.’

As Marianne and Gabriel were having Easter Sunday lunch with Gabriel’s parents, they’d decided on an impromptu Easter egg hunt the day before for the twins. Marianne led Harry and Daisy slowly round the garden, looking under plant pots and behind bushes to help them find the eggs ever-so-obviously planted by the Easter Bunny i.e. Gabriel, who was filming the moment for posterity. Steven, who had also helped a little too well in the hiding, was going round picking up the eggs which he’d managed to hide too high up for toddler hands. It was a gorgeous day, the sky a cloudless deep blue and the sun already burning hot.

Daisy and Harry were having a lovely time. With Marianne’s help they managed to pick up plenty of eggs, and already had chocolate smeared all over their mouths. They were chattering away in a language all their own.

‘They seem so perfectly content with their lot in life, don’t they?’ said Gabriel, giving Marianne a hug. ‘It’s as though the rest of the world is superfluous to their needs.’

‘As well they might be,’ laughed Marianne, when they’d finally finished egg collecting and she let them sit down on a blanket on the grass with all their spoils. ‘I cannot think of a nicer way to spend my time, pottering around picking up chocolate eggs while Mummy runs around after me. It must be bliss.’

Gabriel grinned. ‘And you’re so good at it, isn’t she, Steven?’

Steven just grunted. Uh oh. He had been quite cheerful today so far, but whenever Gabriel spoke to him directly, he had given him the cold shoulder.

‘Don’t put Steven in an awkward position,’ said Marianne, ‘you know he wants to disagree, and now he can’t.’

She flashed him a smile, which had a slightly desperate plea of, ‘Don’t argue with your dad today,’ to which Steven responded with his own smile, meaning ‘You know you’re my favourite step-mum.’

‘Just as well, that,’ said Marianne. ‘Now if everyone’s not too stuffed after lunch and chocolate, shall we go for a quick trot over the meadows to see the lambs, before popping in on Pippa and Dan?’

Dan was finally coming out of hospital today, and Gabriel had promised they’d call in later.

‘That’s a great idea,’ said Gabriel. ‘Come on you little monsters,’ he plucked one twin each off the rug, ‘let’s go and see some baa baas.’

‘Baa, baa! Baa! Baa!’ The twins clapped their hands with glee. They couldn’t say much else that was intelligible, so it was fitting that they had learnt to say ‘Baa’ at least.

‘Coming, Steven?’ said Marianne, as Gabriel took the twins inside to get them ready.

‘Do I have to?’ said Steven.

‘You might enjoy it,’ said Marianne.

‘And Dad might start nagging me about choir school,’ said Steven. ‘Please, I don’t want to have another row about it.’

So far over the weekend, there had been several terse exchanges between Steven and Gabriel, and Marianne was loath for them to develop into a huge row. It had been a lovely day so far, and she didn’t want it spoiled.

‘Okay,’ said Marianne, ‘I’ll give him some excuse. Don’t worry, we’ll work this all out somehow.’

‘Steven not coming with us?’ Gabriel looked disappointed as they started off up the lane.

‘Couldn’t prise him away from the Wii,’ lied Marianne. ‘At least he’s getting some exercise.’

‘Oh,’ said Gabriel and she could sense his disappointment. She sighed as she followed him up the hill, each of them carrying a twin in a backpack. This choir school problem was definitely not going away. Not for a while yet.

Pippa put the finishing touches on her Welcome Home Cake which, to honour the season, she’d decorated in mini eggs. She and the boys had filled the house with balloons and flags, and they and Lucy had spent the previous evening making a
Welcome Home Dad!
banner; Lucy’s contribution being mainly to draw big loopy flowers.

Pippa had no idea of how much Lucy understood of what was going on, but she had been restless and unsettled since Dan had been away. Dan had always been fantastic with Lucy, and among Pippa’s other worries was a gnawing anxiety about how things would be when he got back.

Dan was still very dependent on her, both physically and emotionally, though he had seemed more settled and less prone to outbursts in the last week. But he was a long way from better and was going to have to undergo intensive physio to get him back on his feet. For someone as active as Dan to be confined for a time to a wheelchair was going to be hellish for them both. A bonus of having Lucy meant that the house was more than able to accommodate Dan’s new needs. They already had a wet room, and Gabriel had helped set up a sofa bed downstairs for Dan. But it was going to be a tricky time for them all.

Dan’s parents had gone to the hospital to pick him up, and now she and the children were nervously waiting for them to come back. The boys were excited about seeing their dad again, but also slightly ill at ease. They had both glimpsed the change in Dan when he’d shouted at George in the hospital for no good reason.

‘Is Dad going to get better?’ said George who’d been licking out the icing bowl. He rubbed his fair hair in a slightly worried way, his blue eyes anxious.

‘Yes of course he is,’ said Pippa. ‘What makes you say that?’

‘Just something Matt Pilsdon said, about my dad always being a retard now he’s in a wheelchair.’

‘The wheelchair is temporary,’ said Pippa, trying to control the tears in her voice. Kids could be so cruel. ‘It’s only until Dad gets walking again properly. Of course he’s going to get better, it will just take time. Matt Pilsdon knows nothing about it. You should ignore him.’

A frantic and excited clicking from Lucy, who was sitting in the front room, looking out for Dan, heralded his arrival.

Harriet came in first, carrying Dan’s suitcase, followed by Phillip pushing the wheelchair up the ramp (already in place for Lucy).

‘Daddy!’ The boys ran towards him, bowling each other over in their enthusiasm. Dan acknowledged their hugs with a brief smile, and accepted Pippa’s kiss with an unfathomable look.

Lucy clapped her hands when she saw him and gave Dan a beaming smile. Dan gently held her hand and squeezed it tight. The tenderness of his look floored Pippa. It was weeks since she’d seen him look like that. It felt good to know that Dan was still in there, somewhere.

They all settled into the kitchen, the children all talking at once. The first problem came when Pippa realised that Dan’s wheelchair was too wide to fit comfortably at the table.

‘Oh for God’s sake!’ Dan was clearly feeling embarrassed, and, Pippa realised with dismay, having two wheelchairs made things difficult, as everyone was having to squeeze past them to get to the table. Instead of being homely and comfortable, the kitchen felt overcrowded and awkward. Dan’s dad helped him into a chair instead, and Pippa breathed a sigh of relief as Dan seemed to relax a bit more. He duly admired the cake, the banner, the decorations, and the many cards which had arrived from everyone. So many people had helped Pippa in the last few weeks, she couldn’t imagine how she would ever repay them.

Gabriel and Marianne popped in briefly with the children, and Dan made the effort to look pleased, but as it was clear he was flagging, they thoughtfully left.

Harriet glanced at Pippa, then tactfully suggested sorting tea for the children, while Pippa took Dan to bed.

They went into the makeshift bedroom Pippa and Gabe had sorted out in the conservatory. Pippa went to help Dan onto the bed, but he brushed her away crossly.

‘I’m not a cripple,’ he said, ‘I can walk a little.’

‘Let me help,’ said Pippa.

‘No,’ he snarled, and then with a determination she’d always known he’d possessed, she watched as he painfully inched his way from the wheelchair to the bed, then tried to get himself undressed.

Every overture of help was rejected, so in the end Pippa said, ‘Do you want me to go?’ practically in tears, after Dan had bitten her head off for the third time.

‘Yes,’ said Dan, then swore loudly as he tried and failed again to reach down to undo his shoes.

‘Let me,’ said Pippa, seeing the pain contorting his face. ‘Please.’

Dan didn’t say anything, but defeated, let her undress him.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said suddenly.

‘For what?’

‘For this. For being such a wreck. I’m no husband to you anymore.’

There were tears in his eyes. Her Dan, who never cracked, who’d always been the strong one.

Smiling brightly, Pippa said, ‘Nonsense. You are going to be fine, do you hear? We’re going to get you better, so there.’

‘How do you know?’ Dan looked bleak. ‘I feel like I’ll never get any better.’

‘I just know,’ said Pippa. ‘Come on, we’re going to lick this thing. Now get some rest, and I’ll look in on you later.’

But as she shut the door, she leant back against it with a heavy heart. This was just the beginning. How on earth was she going to manage?

‘Mummy, Mummy, there’s a dead mouse in the playroom! It’s really gross!’ Ruby came screaming hysterically into the lounge where Cat was ostensibly lying with her feet up. Noel had promised to cook Sunday lunch today, in order to give her a rest. She’d been back home from the hospital for several days, but was still feeling shaky and a little weepy.

Oh God. They’d known mice were getting in somewhere, and Noel had set a succession of traps, but so far the mice had been clever enough to elude them. Cat wasn’t particularly frightened of them, but the thought of having to deal with a dead one made her stomach churn.

‘Where’s your dad?’ she said tentatively.

‘Arguing with Granny in the kitchen about the Yorkshire puddings,’ said Ruby.

Brilliant. Cat might have known that the minute Angela arrived there’d be trouble. She knew Angela only wanted to help, but diplomacy wasn’t her strong point and she had a genius for rubbing Noel up the wrong way.

‘Okay, Rubes, you and me will deal with the mouse,’ said Cat. She went to the understairs cupboard where she kept all her cleaning stuff, and pulled out a pair of rubber gloves and a plastic bag to dispose of the body.

‘Mummy, do I have to?’ Ruby pulled a face.

‘Come on, Ruby,’ said Cat, ‘I thought you liked gross stuff.’

‘I don’t like dead mice,’ she declared, ‘they remind me too much of Hammy.’

‘Okay, I’ll do it alone,’ said Cat. ‘Wish me luck.’

Ruby hovered outside the door of the playroom, clearly fascinated as well as repelled by the thought of the mouse.

Cat found it in the corner of the room, behind a toy box. The trap had been so efficient it had bounced a few feet away from where it had been left. Ugh. Not one mouse, but two. Babies. Cat felt like a criminal as she emptied the bodies into the plastic bag, and took it out to the dustbin to dispose of. That must mean there was a mum somewhere with a nest. There could be hundreds of the little buggers.

She felt a shot of pain go through her. Ridiculous to get upset about dead baby mice, but it made her think of the blob, and how it was a blob no more.

The doctors in the hospital had been very kind.

‘It’s an ectopic,’ they’d explained. ‘There is really no saving it.’

‘We can try again,’ Noel said, his eyes filling with tears as he held Cat’s hand and squeezed it tight. ‘It’s okay; this doesn’t have to be the end.’

Cat had taken a deep breath, and smiled at him through her own tears. ‘I think it does, sweets,’ she said. ‘We’re too old. This wasn’t meant to happen. Nature’s giving us a warning.’ It was at that point, she’d decided to have her tubes tied, to prevent her getting pregnant again. She’d always meant to after Ruby, but somehow there’d never been time.

‘Are you sure?’ Noel was clearly upset, and she felt badly for him, because he was a great dad, and she could see he had allowed himself to get excited about the prospect of a new baby.

‘Sure,’ she’d said gently. ‘I couldn’t go through this again. We’ve got four healthy wonderful kids. We’re very very lucky. I think it’s better this way.’

She laced her hands in his, and kissed them, trying to draw strength, not to change her mind. She had never been clearly able to see the blob as a proper baby, more as a hindrance. It was for the best. She knew it was, so why did she feel so terrible?

‘What’s going on?’ Noel appeared at the front door as she came back feeling pathetically teary.

‘Nothing,’ she said. ‘The mousetrap worked.’

‘You okay?’

Noel gently took her to him, as she burst into tears on his shoulder.

‘It’s stupid,’ she sobbed. ‘Two dead baby mice, and I’m a total mess.’

‘No it’s not,’ said Noel. ‘Come and sit down, and I’ll make you a cup of tea. It’s been a rough few days, and you need to relax.’

‘Oh Noel, what would I do without you?’ Cat sobbed.

‘You’d live I expect,’ said Noel, as he sat her down on the sofa, and propped up her cushions. ‘Now how do you make Yorkshire puddings again?’

It was only the third time of asking today, so Cat threw a cushion at him. But she felt a little better. Noel had a talent for that. She was lucky to have him. And she would survive.

‘Right, I’m off to see Granny,’ Cat announced after lunch. ‘Anyone coming with me?’

It was over a week since Easter and the children had one day left at home before school started again. Noel had gone back to work reluctantly, anxiously asking her every other minute if she were all right, so that in the end, she’d said, ‘Bugger off, you’re beginning to annoy me now.’ Part of her wanted Noel to stay with her for a few more days, so she could stay in bed and sink back into her heartache, but another part knew that the sooner she was up and out in the world the better it would be.

‘I’ll come.’ To Cat’s surprise, Mel seemed quite enthusiastic. It wasn’t that she didn’t visit Louise, but it had been a long time since she’d come with Cat.