The following day Richard arrived, and Milly was over the moon when he held her hand and kissed her cheek.
‘Lovely to see you, Milly. And later I want to know everything that has happened and all about these exams you’re going to take. Family in the drawing room?’
Milly could only nod as she opened the door for him.
When she got back into the kitchen she said to Betty, ‘Whatever is wrong with Mr G, Richard doesn’t know anything about it.’
‘I told you it’s nothing to worry about.’
Mr Green wasn’t at breakfast the following morning, and Mrs Green came into the kitchen and told Milly to do a tray with something light. ‘Perhaps just an egg and some toast. I’ll take it up to my husband, as he’s feeling a little under the weather.’
‘See, what did I tell you?’ said Betty after Mrs Green had left. ‘He’ll be right as rain in no time.’
‘I hope so.’
Walton had taken Jane out, and as lessons had finished for the term, Milly didn’t get to see Jane on her own.
At teatime, when Milly pushed the trolley into the drawing room, the family were sitting around and it was very quiet, not like last year, when everyone was talking at once.
Once again Milly voiced her fears to Betty.
‘Well Mrs G ain’t said nothing to me, and I think you’re worrying unnecessarily.’
‘I hope so.’ Milly was wondering how she could manage to see Jane on her own. It was always very difficult when the family were together, but they did usually include her when they had tea, or sometimes during the evenings when they played cards or just sat and talked. She loved those evenings, but these last few days that hadn’t happened.
Tomorrow would be Christmas Eve and nobody had talked about going to Midnight Mass. For the past two days Mr Green hadn’t been down to breakfast, although he was always around later.
That afternoon Milly was building up the dining-room fire when Richard walked in. He carefully closed the door behind him and Milly stood up.
‘You must be wondering what’s wrong.’
Milly nodded. ‘Is your father ill?’
Richard looked worried. ‘Yes.’
Milly took a sharp intake of breath and put her hand to her mouth.
Richard smiled. ‘Don’t worry, it’s not life-threatening. He’s just very under the weather. It seems he’s had a lot of bad days at the office. The government in Germany are having endless meetings and he’s been having sleepless nights. He’ll be fine by tomorrow. He just needed to rest and to be away from all the stress that goes with the job.’ Richard took Milly’s hand. ‘Let’s sit down.’ He pulled out a chair and they sat at the table.
‘He’s not going to lose his job, is he?’
Richard smiled. ‘No, but you mustn’t worry about us. Now I want to hear all about you.’
They sat for a while and talked. Milly found him so easy to talk to. He wanted to know all about the exams she was taking, and whether she needed any help.
‘Jane thinks you are going sail through.’
‘I hope so. I don’t want to let her or Miss Dance down.’
He leant forward and ran his thumb along her brow. ‘Don’t frown. Do you know, you are very pretty.’
She blushed. She wanted to grab his hand and kiss it. ‘Thank you,’ she whispered. If only she could tell him how she felt, but she knew that could never be.
‘Now, this afternoon we are going to decorate the hall, drawing room and this room. Will you help me cut down the holly and the ivy? Of course Jane will be supervising as usual.’
Milly smiled broadly. ‘Yes please.’ Suddenly all the gloom that had surrounded her these past few days had disappeared. This was how she wanted things to be, everybody making plans.
‘Jane said she’s sorry she hasn’t been able to talk to you, but she has been very worried about Father. Now that he appears to be a little better, she said you must have tea with us this afternoon after we’ve finished.’
‘I would like that.’
‘Then tomorrow night we shall all be going to Midnight Mass.’
Milly didn’t wait to be asked as she blurted out, ‘Betty’s got a new hat.’
‘And what about you, have you got a new hat?’
‘No.’
‘That’s a pity. Now go and see if Betty needs you this afternoon, then come back with your hat and coat on and we’ll start cutting what we need. By the way, I’m pleased you had a nice birthday.’
‘Yes, I did, and thank you for my card.’
‘That’s all right. I shouldn’t say this, but Jane threatens me if I forget anyone’s birthday. Including Betty’s and now yours.’
Milly was a little sad at that remark; she’d thought he’d remembered it because he cared about her. She left him sitting at the table. She knew she loved him, but what good would it do?
Richard watched Milly leave the room. He hadn’t needed to be reminded of her birthday, but he’d had to say something. He knew that he had feelings for her, but he couldn’t make them known. She was so honest and trustworthy. What would happen to her in the future? Could she stay here for ever? Would Jane get tired of her? She could take Walton’s place when the nurse retired, but when would that be? Could they ever be together? he wondered.
Chapter 13
‘
W
HAT D’YOU THINK?’ Betty asked Milly, as she looked at herself this way and that in front of the large hall mirror, which had been decorated with holly and ivy.
‘It looks lovely, and that navy colour really suits you.’
Betty was still fiddling with the veil on her new hat when Jane came out of her room. ‘Betty, you look lovely, doesn’t she, Milly?’
Milly was beaming as she nodded. ‘I’ve just told her that. And so do you.’
‘Always have to have new ribbons for Christmas. It’s one of the things I can wear proudly, and I make sure my hair is one of my best features.’ When Jane laughed, her large pink bow bobbed up and down.
‘You have very pretty hair,’ said Milly. ‘Not like my straight locks.’
‘To get these ringlets I go through a lot of agony at night when Walton or Mother put all the rags in.’ She touched her hair. ‘As long as it looks fine, that’s all I worry about.’
Milly, wearing the tam-o’-shanter that Jane had bought her last Christmas, looked around. She felt a lot happier now that whatever was wrong with Mr Green seemed to have passed and once again things were back to normal.
As they made their way to the church, despite the cold everyone was laughing and talking at once. In the church, the singing lifted Milly’s heart, and everyone was still singing on the walk home. When Richard took hold of her hand, she felt a thrill rush through her. She wanted this night to last for ever.
When they arrived at the house, Mr Green said, ‘Betty and Milly, you must join us for a drink.’
‘Thank you, sir,’ they said together.
It wasn’t long before Betty said, ‘Now, begging your pardon, but I must be off to bed. Milly, remember we have a very busy day tomorrow.’
‘I think you mean today,’ said Richard. He had a flushed face and Milly had noted that he had been drinking since they arrived back at the house.
Betty laughed. Her eyes were sparkling. ‘So I do. Come on, Milly. Good night, sir and madam, and thank you.’ She gave a slight bow and left the room.
Milly quickly said her good nights and followed.
She was just getting into bed when there was a tap on her door.
‘Milly. Can I talk to you?’ It was Richard.
‘What do you want?’
‘Let me in.’ His voice was a hushed whisper.
‘I can’t.’ Milly sat on the bed, too frightened to move. She knew the door wasn’t locked; she had never had any need to. Besides Elsie had to come and wake her in the mornings.
‘Please.’
‘No, go away. What will your mother and father say?’
‘They don’t need to know.’
‘I think you’ve had a bit too much to drink.’
‘This is the only way I can get up the courage to tell you how I feel about you.’
‘I’m very flattered, Richard, but please go away.’ Although Milly was taken aback, she was thrilled that he wanted to tell her how he felt. She wanted to throw open the door and invite him in, but she knew that would be wrong. She was terrified someone would hear him and come to see what was going on. She always lived in dread of having to leave here. What would she do? Where could she go?
‘Please, Milly, let me in. I only want to talk.’
She jumped off the bed, half hoping he would open the door and she would be in his arms, but that couldn’t be. ‘Please, Richard, go away.’ She said it very half-heartedly.
He didn’t reply. She strained her ears for a sound, but none came. Perhaps he had gone away. She slowly opened the door. He was lying on the floor just outside. What should she do? She shut the door quickly. Should she try and wake him up? But what if he turned and pushed her back into the bedroom? She knew she wouldn’t be able to resist him. Fear ran through her. She couldn’t call for anyone to help her. Betty wouldn’t climb all these stairs, and that only left Mr and Mrs Green. Shivering, she took her coat from the hook behind the door and sat on the bed, contemplating what to do. It was very cold in the attic; perhaps that would wake him and he’d go back to his room.
Milly put the chair under the handle of the door and got into bed. She lay wide awake, listening for the slightest sound. Despite her worry, she smiled to herself. He liked her. He’d come all the way up here to tell her that he liked her. But what good would that do? They came from different worlds. Then another thought went through her mind: had he come up here for another reason? She knew all about what men did to women. Was that what he wanted? She also knew that men could be very different when they’d had a few drinks. What if she had invited him in? Would she finish up with a baby? She shuddered. Although she loved him, she knew she had to keep him at bay for both their sakes.
Milly woke with a start. Elsie was knocking on her door and calling her name. Jumping out of bed, she moved the chair away.
‘What yer doing putting the chair behind the door?’
Milly quickly dressed herself in her work clothes. ‘It’s nothing.’
‘ ’Ere, that Mister Richard ain’t been after yer, has he?’
Milly looked at Elsie. It wasn’t like her to talk about the family.
‘I’ve seen the way he looks at yer. Yer wanna be careful of the likes of him. Think they can have who they like just cos they’ve got a few bob.’
Milly was shocked.
‘Right, best foot forward. Oh, by the way, merry Christmas.’
‘Merry Christmas to you, Elsie,’ said Milly as she followed her down the narrow staircase.
‘Everything all right?’ asked Betty when they walked into the kitchen.
‘Yes thanks,’ said Milly. ‘Merry Christmas.’
‘And the same to you. Now get on with the grates, then your breakfasts will be ready. Did you sleep all right?’ asked Betty.
Milly looked at her with surprise. She’d never asked her that before. Did she know something? Had she heard Richard?
All the while she was on her hands and knees in front of the fireplaces, she was terrified Richard would come in and make some comment. But the start of the morning passed without any problems.
Mr Green called them into the dining room just before the family sat down to breakfast and gave them small purses with money in. They thanked him and left the room to prepare the light lunch and the evening meal. Milly couldn’t look at Richard, although she could see that he was smiling like everyone else in the room.
‘I will give you both your presents when we get back from church,’ said Jane.
‘Thank you,’ said Betty and Milly together.
When they were in the kitchen, Milly asked Betty, ‘Do you think Jane will like the scarf I’ve got her?’
‘I think she’ll be over the moon. You know how she likes pretty things.’
‘I hope so.’
‘You’re very quiet this morning, you all right?’
Milly nodded. How could she tell Betty about last night? And was she reading too much into it? She knew she would have to talk to Richard at some time.
‘Just as long as you ain’t coming down with something,’ said Betty, interrupting her thoughts.
Milly had placed the food for lunch on the dining-room table before the family returned from church. When the front door burst open, she could hear everyone laughing, and she felt a little easier.
Jane went to her room and returned to the kitchen with two beautifully wrapped parcels. ‘This is for you, Betty. And this is for you, Milly.’ Her eyes were shining. ‘I hope you like it. Mama said I should wait till this afternoon when she will be giving you hers, but you know me, I can’t wait.’
Milly sat at the table and carefully opened her present. It was a book of short stories. ‘Oh Jane, this is wonderful. Thank you. Thank you so much.’ She kissed her friend’s cheek.
‘Miss Dance got it for me. She knows how you love reading and thought that some of the questions might be about authors.’
Milly clasped the book to her. She was so happy. This was the best present she had ever had.
Betty was busy admiring her gloves.
‘I hope they fit,’ said Jane.
‘They are lovely. Thank you, Miss Jane.’
Mrs Green came into the kitchen and smiled. ‘I see my daughter couldn’t wait. You must come into the drawing room when we’ve finished lunch. Do the gloves fit, Betty?’
‘Yes thank you.’
‘Jane, my present for you is in my room,’ said Milly.
‘Jane will have to be patient.’ Her mother took hold of the handles of her chair and pushed her towards the door. ‘Lunch first, miss. Then the rest of the presents.’
‘Mama always likes to make things last.’ Jane waved as she left the room.
Milly danced round the kitchen, clutching her book. ‘I am so lucky,’ she said, going up to Betty and plonking a loud kiss on her cheek.