A Mother for His Twins (7 page)

‘We do that. Sometimes we have breakfast at Grandma’s, too,’ Lilly chimed in.

‘But it’s just up the stairs,’ Lola pointed.

‘Not too far,’ Lilly agreed.

‘Now, my yummy princesses,’ Jasper said as he added another pancake to the warming plate he had in the oven, ‘time for a bath.’ His words were received with mild protests.
‘You’re both covered in syrup,’ he pointed out when they asked why.

‘But, Daddy, why can’t you just wipe us down with the cloth? Then we will be all ready to play.’

‘Planning to wear your jimmy-jams all day long?’ He smiled at Jennifer before excusing himself to go and run the bath. Jennifer sat there, looking around his home, and was surprised to find it very welcoming. Usually when she went to a new friend’s house, it took quite some time for her to feel comfortable but, like at Sara’s house, she felt quite relaxed here.

Jennifer looked at the pancake he’d put on the stove to cook before he’d gone off to tend to his daughters and quickly went to check on it. He’d turned the heating element down so it was cooking at a slower rate but now that she was up, she decided to at least make herself useful. After checking on the sizzling bacon and eggs, she checked the dishwasher and found it full but clean. Quietly and quickly, she took the dishes out, and after opening a few cupboards, was able to figure out where most things went. Next, she put the girls’ sticky plates and cutlery into the dishwasher then wiped down their placemats and the bench. It was quite nice to potter around in his kitchen…a kitchen that serviced a real family. It brought home to her how her own little kitchen at her flat in Melbourne in retrospect seemed bare and lifeless as she’d prepared meals for one.

She’d flipped the pancake and was about to take it out and pour another when Jasper came rushing back.

‘Oh, thanks, Jennifer. I hadn’t planned to be that long. Lola has syrup in her hair so I’ll need to wash it but first, let’s have some breakfast in peace while the girls get themselves and the bathroom nice and wet.’

Jennifer laughed and moved aside so Jasper could return
to the stove. She decided to help a bit further and took out plates and cutlery for the two of them, then reboiled the kettle, found two cups and put them on the bench.

‘Here you go.’ Jasper handed her the teabags, amazed at the warming sensation he was experiencing at having a woman poking about in his kitchen. He been so used to being chief cook and bottlewasher for years that it was nice to be sharing it with someone else, even if it was just a one-off thing.

When it came time to eat the two stacks of pancakes Jasper put before her, Jennifer couldn’t help exclaiming at the taste. ‘These are heavenly. So light. So fluffy.’

‘As you’re a connoisseur of pancakes, I’ll take that as a very high compliment.’

‘Mmm. You should. Delicious.’ When she’d finished, she licked her lips. He watched the action intently, not surprised to experience a mild tightening in his gut. He’d never thought he would be jealous of a pancake. He was enjoying this time alone with her…just the two of them…and even though he could hear the girls in the distance, squealing and laughing, it didn’t matter one bit. He was here, in his house, alone with Jennifer.

‘More?’ he offered, and watched as she eyed the fresh pancake still in the pan. ‘Go on.’

‘OK. You’ve talked me into it.’

‘Wasn’t difficult.’ He scooped it out and put it on her plate, secretly pleased that she liked his cooking.

‘How did you make them again?’

‘You were sitting right in front of me when I did it,’ he pointed out.

‘Yes, but I was distracted not only by your daughters but by your mother’s inquisitive stare.’

‘She was staring?’ Jasper was horrified and closed his eyes for a moment, shaking his head. ‘I’m so sorry, Jennifer.’

She laughed. ‘Don’t apologise. She was just surprised, I guess, that you’d brought a colleague home.’

‘It has nothing to do with you being a colleague, Jennifer, let me tell you that right now. It does, however, have everything to do with you being a woman.’

‘Oh. You don’t bring your dates home for pancakes?’ As she said the words, she realised that they could be taken another way. ‘Er…I mean…’

Jasper laughed, watching the way a small flush of colour tinged her cheeks. She was becoming more adorable, more addictive with each passing moment. ‘I know what you meant and the answer is no. I haven’t brought the
few
women I’ve dated home to have breakfast with me and my family. You’re the first.’

‘But I’m not your date.’

‘No, but definitely the first woman.’ He stood and cleared the plates, switching the kettle on again for another cuppa, knowing he needed to keep things light. ‘It’s as you’ve said, though. We both know Sara. We’ll both be mixing socially, as well as working together at the hospital, so even though we may not have mixed those worlds in the past, they’ll definitely be mixing in the future.’

‘So I take it from what your mother said that the girls have never met anyone you’ve dated?’

‘Nope. They don’t need short-term acquaintances coming in and out of their lives. Way too confusing for them and far too many questions for me to answer.’

‘Ah, now we come to the real crux of the matter. You’re scared of your girls.’

‘Scared of the way they’d question me to death? Yes.’

‘I take it you don’t classify me as a short-term acquaintance?’

Jasper thought about that for a moment. ‘No. Your work
contract is for at least the next two years but as you’re now in your dream job, I doubt you’ll be giving it up after that. Add to all of that the fact that you already know the girls, which makes you a low-risk friend.’

‘Low risk?’

‘Low risk of hurting them.’ And me, he added silently. Inviting Jennifer home had been done on a whim and he wasn’t the type of man to give in to whims, especially where the girls were concerned. He might even tell himself that he’d only done it so he could help Jennifer see the house down the street, as he would have done for any other colleague, but deep down he knew he’d wanted to see how Jennifer looked in his world and he had to admit she looked pretty darn good.

Their eyes met and held, both of them content to simply stand there for a moment and connect. Jennifer wasn’t at all sure how this happened but it was as though she could
feel
whatever Jasper was thinking about. It was a connection on a level she hadn’t really encountered before, not even with Arturo. In one way she was delighted to be experiencing something new, but on the other hand it terrified her. She wasn’t good at taking steps outside her comfort zone. Still, Jasper looked at her, the colour of his irises deepening with an appreciation for the woman before him. She could see it. Could see the attraction he’d spoken of the other night when they’d had dinner. They hadn’t known each other long but it was as though they’d known each other for ever. It was as though both were too scared to take that first giant leap of exploration yet eager to get the expedition started.

‘Strange.’ The word was barely audible as it slipped through her lips and Jasper’s gaze dipped to her mouth as though he was eager to explore that terrain as well. He moved, taking a step closer, needing to close the distance between them but maintaining eye contact at all times.

The giggling and splashing from the bathroom became louder and Jasper eased back, rolling his eyes. ‘Never a dull moment.’

‘Go and deal with them and I’ll tidy the kitchen.’ Distance. She needed distance, if for nothing else than to pull herself together.

He was about to refuse her offer of help but decided against it. Nodding, he agreed. ‘OK. Thanks.’ He headed off in the direction of the bathroom and Jennifer smiled as she heard him questioning his daughters, wanting to know why the bathroom floor was covered with water. Not too much later, she laughed as one of the girls came streaking past stark naked, with Jasper hot on her heels, before he scooped her up and carried her back to her room.

Jennifer relaxed and made herself another cup of tea, pushing down the yearning she could feel beginning to rise. She’d wanted a life like this. A family of her own. She
should
have had one by now and if things had gone to plan, the children she and Art had been planning to have should have been around seven years old by now. Jennifer shook her head. Her life would have been very different.

‘But you wouldn’t have been head of unit at such a young age—
if
you could call thirty-eight young,’ she whispered softly to herself. Still, the words didn’t seem to matter much when faced with what her alternative life would have been like.

By half past seven, the girls were freshly washed and dressed ready for the day ahead. Jasper had called Mr Attenburgh to make sure it was all right to come down and then announced to both girls they were going for a little walk.

‘Is it all right to go this early?’ Jennifer checked as the girls went to get their coats as it was definitely a chilly July morning.

‘Oh, Mr Attenburgh goes for a walk at a quarter to six every morning. He’s awake, alive, alert and enthusiastic.’

‘Good to hear.’

‘Lilly? Are you staying here with Grandma?’ he asked when she didn’t come back with her coat. ‘You don’t have to come, honey.’

‘I’ll stay and look after Grandma.’ Lilly was already on the stairs. ‘Lola will look after you and Jen, Daddy.’

‘Good to see they’re already looking out for their dad,’ Jennifer remarked as the three of them headed outside into the crisp morning, tucking her scarf more firmly into the top of her coat.

‘Lilly is the nurturer. Lola is the adventurer,’ he said as Lola positioned herself between the two of them, slipping her hands into theirs and then asking for a swing.

‘I love swings. Lilly doesn’t,’ Lola added. ‘But I do.
A lot
.’

‘What does she mean?’ Jennifer asked.

‘We count to three and then we lift her forward and up into the air.’ Jasper counted and after three, up went Lola, giggling with glee. Again and again they did this with the child laughing each time.

‘She doesn’t get tired of it?’

‘Nope. Do it to Lilly and she snaps your head off. Doesn’t like the sensation that she’s flying through the sky, our Lil.’

‘Have you ever got them confused?’ Jennifer was still trying to search for a way she might be able to tell them apart.

‘Nope. Believe it or not, they look completely different to me.’

‘Perhaps because you see them more as personalities rather than focusing on the physical appearance.’

‘Hmm. I’d never thought of it like that before. You’re probably right.’

They continued to swing Lola, who was laughing brightly
in the crisp morning, providing her own brand of sweet sunshine. It was enough to warm Jennifer’s heart and as she glanced over at Jasper the yearning deep inside her to have this sort of life for her own, to have a husband and family of her own, was almost overwhelming.

T
HEY
gave Lola one last swing as they came to the house in question. Jennifer stopped and looked at the outside. It was a brick house, with a bay window at the front. She’d always loved bay windows and the house she’d bought with Art all those years ago had had three bay windows across the front.

‘Jennifer?’ Jasper called when she stopped stock still. Lola was busy trying to tug him down the driveway but Jasper had seen a strange look come into Jennifer’s eyes. ‘Do you like it?’ he asked. Jennifer didn’t answer. Instead, she simply stood there and he realised she was miles away. What was she thinking of? Her expression was one of wistful yearning and in that moment he knew she was probably thinking of her past. He knew that look because he’d worn it several times himself.

‘Jennifer?’ he tried again, and was successful in rousing her.

‘Hmm? Sorry.’ She snapped out of her reverie and turned to look at him.

‘Do you like it?’

Jennifer sighed and nodded. ‘I do. The front garden’s small but I’m not looking for a big garden.’ The arrangement of native trees and shrubs with their evergreen leaves made the small area look lush and inviting.

‘The back yard is big enough to have a few friends around but small enough that it doesn’t need a lot of upkeep.’ He pointed with his free hand, Lola still tugging on the other one. ‘Shall we go and see Mr Attenburgh before Lola does some real damage to my arm?’

She nodded. ‘Good idea. I’m too tired to reset a dislocated humerus.’

Jennifer discovered the inside of the two-bedroomed house was as quaint and as lovely as the outside, and the bay window already had a window-seat just waiting for her to curl up and relax after a hard day at the hospital. The house was empty, all the furniture having been shifted as Mr Attenburgh already had his new residence.

‘You could move in straight away,’ the old man told her. ‘Once the papers have been signed, of course,’ he added with a full, dentured smile.

It suited her perfectly and she promised to let him know soon. When they returned to Jasper’s house, he sent Lola off to find Lilly then turned to Jennifer, eager to ask her opinion.

‘You obviously liked the house.’

‘Yes.’ She sat down on the lounge, shifting slightly to face him as he sat next to her.

His eyes were clear yet unswerving. ‘There’s more to it than that, right?’

It was on the tip of her tongue to deny his words, to tell him to mind his own business, to freeze him out, but when she looked into those powerful grey eyes, which were so gentle yet highly intelligent, she realised Jasper Edwards was someone she could come to trust. He’d been through his own misery, his own grief and no doubt that was why he was picking up on her body language and out-of-synch emotions. ‘Yes.’

‘You teared up when you saw the window-seat.’

She thought he hadn’t noticed. ‘Yes.’

‘Why?’ The question was soft yet his curiosity about her was evident in his expression. It showed her he wanted to know more about her and she knew in getting to know someone better, that inevitably meant talking about the past.
Her
past.

‘I like bay windows. I always have.’ She sighed and shrugged when he didn’t question her further. She knew he was waiting for more, waiting for the explanation he could no doubt sense was there. He was too clever and too sweet for her to evade any longer.

‘My father was in the army and, as you might guess, that meant we moved quite a bit during my childhood. Usually, the houses we lived in were either on the army base or else provided for my father in a suburb close to his work. One of the houses we moved to when I was twelve had a bay window. It had curtains which you could close to make a little hiding hole, where the whole world would be locked out, and I would sit there and read or just think and imagine.’

Jasper watched as she spoke, watched the wistfulness on her face as well as hearing the veiled pain in her voice.

‘My parents didn’t have a happy marriage. My father was a very oppressive man and my mother was the epitome of a military wife. When I was twelve my father was forced to retire due to ill health. We moved from the bay-window house into the first home my parents had ever owned. In one way it was good because I was finally able to settle down and make real friends and complete my schooling in one place.’

‘Where you met Sara?’

‘Yes.’

‘It couldn’t have been easy for your father, being forced to retire so early.’

‘No. It wasn’t. He was almost fifty and had trouble settling
into a world where barking orders at people didn’t seem to work any more. Instead, he decided to turn to alcohol for support. Life…sort of changed after that.’

Something in her tone made Jasper wary. ‘Did he hurt you?’ Jennifer didn’t answer, sitting still, staring into nothingness. He put his hand on hers, his gentle touch bringing her back to the present. His tone was urgent. He needed to know. ‘Jennifer. Did he—’

‘No.’ She shook her head emphatically. ‘He never hit us, never touched us.’

‘Us? You have siblings?’

‘No. I meant Mum and I.’

‘Where are your parents now?’

‘Darwin. We don’t speak. Too much water under the bridge and all that. Enter Sara.’ She pushed her natural smile through the pain. ‘Sara came into my life and showed me what a real family was like. I spent a lot of time at her place and not once did her parents quibble about it. My mother only needed to know where I was. My father cared about nothing but himself and his depression.’

‘And you and Sara have been friends since.’

‘We have.’ Jennifer looked down at where his hand lay on hers, amazed at how incredible it felt to have such a caring touch offered. It was what she’d missed the most. Not having that one special person there to confide in. Not having the simplest of touches to let you know that someone cared about you. The companionship. The friendship. The deep, abiding relationship. Was it possible she could find something resembling those missing parts of her life with Jasper? She took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

‘And through my friendship with Sara…’ Her words were soft and a little shaky but she persevered. ‘You’ve come into my life.’ She slowly lifted her eyes to his and when she was
finally looking into his grey depths she saw an desperate need, a need which she knew was mirrored in her own. It was as though she was powerless to look away, mesmerised by the way he was allowing her to see so much of him. Not only was there a physical need but a mental and emotional one as well. It was as though he needed to connect with someone and he’d chosen to connect with her.

‘Jennifer.’ His other hand came up to caress her cheek and she leaned in to it, sighing at the gentle caress.

‘What is this thing?’ she whispered as her eyelids fluttering closed.

‘I don’t know but it’s too good to ignore.’

She looked at him once more. ‘But we should ignore it.’

‘Why?’

‘Because we work together.’

He shook his head. ‘I’d like to say that’s a lousy reason but…’

‘But we both know we can’t risk our working relationship by following this one.’ Jennifer saw the logic breaking through his desire.

Jasper breathed in deeply. ‘True.’

‘And then there’s the most important reason of all.’

Jasper raised an eyebrow in question.

‘The girls,’ she stated. ‘If we start something and it doesn’t work then the girls will get hurt, and they’ve already been through too much in their little lives.’

The fact that she cared so much about his daughters and their well-being spoke volumes about her. She was special, this fragile woman before him, and he wished that somehow they could figure out the puzzle before them.

‘So where does that leave us?’ He couldn’t help but caress her cheek once more, knowing what she’d said was correct and totally logical, but he didn’t want to be logical right at
this moment. He wanted to start something…a
real
something which would lead to…Well, he wasn’t exactly sure where. He certainly hadn’t planned this intense attraction they felt for each other, and perhaps Jennifer was right, for now.

‘Still at friends?’

For a moment, he stared at her as though she couldn’t possibly be serious but he knew she was. He wanted more, though…or at least his heart did. His head, however, was prepared to do anything to protect his heart. He’d lived through so much pain, so much grief and while he’d picked up the pieces of his life and soldiered on, taking a step of this magnitude needed a clear head.

‘I don’t know, Jen. Sure…Of course we can be friends but I like seeing you. I like spending time with you. I really enjoyed our dinner the other night. No hospital. No children. No matchmaking friends. Just the two of us, and for the record, it’s been a long time since I’ve felt totally comfortable with someone else while sharing a good meal.’

She nodded. ‘I felt it, too, but, Jasper, what else can we do?’ Jennifer held out her hands, palms up, indicating she was open to other suggestions. Jasper caught her hands in his and held them firmly.

‘We’re already colleagues and I hope we’re becoming friends.’

‘Yes,’ she confirmed.

He didn’t let go of her hands. Instead, he rubbed his thumbs over the backs of her knuckles, caressing them. Jennifer looked down, marvelling at the fact that she couldn’t remember anyone ever touching her in such a caring yet intimate way. ‘Right. Friends.’ Jasper breathed in deeply, filling his lungs with the scent of her before somehow finding superhuman strength to break the contact. He stood, taking two steps away and raked a frustrated hand through his hair.
‘For the record though, let it be noted that I’m
very
interested to see where this might lead…
if
we decide to be more than friends, I mean.’

Jennifer’s body heated all the way through at his words and her eyes widened for a moment, wanting exactly the same thing, before she pulled herself together. She hadn’t necessarily come back to Parramatta to start a romantic relationship. She’d come here to find herself, to reconcile her past and her present in the hope that she’d have a happier future. Building friendships
had
been part of her plan, and friendship was what she needed most from Jasper. Still…when he looked at her like that…When he said things like that…She swallowed over the dryness in her throat and nodded. ‘Noted.’

‘Anyway, none of this is helping you to make a decision about the house. You say that you’re interested?’

‘Most definitely. I’ll get in contact with my solicitor and have the house inspected within the next few days. If everything checks out all right, I can’t see why it wouldn’t be perfect. It’s close to the hospital, has somewhere for me to park the car, not too far from Sara’s place…’

‘Close to here. Er…I mean,’ he began when he saw a puzzled look cross her face, ‘it’s good to have neighbours that you can turn to, can trust—in case of an emergency.’

‘Of course.’

‘And on your days off, you could always drop in and chat with my mother. She’d like that. Give her a short break from the girls.’

‘Good. Well, yes. You’re right. Those are definite pros.’

‘Plus, we could car-pool some days. Save on petrol as well as greenhouse emissions.’

Jennifer grinned. ‘You’re just saying that in the hope of getting another drive of Miss Chief.’

Jasper matched her smile. ‘Saw right through that ploy, didn’t you?’

‘Wasn’t difficult.’

He met her look and held it. ‘I’m so glad I could help out.’ His tone was sincere and warmth spread through her. ‘Really, I am. You’re right, Jen. What we need is to be friends and not be overtaken by the frightening natural attraction we seem to feel for each other.’

‘No…especially not when you put it that way.’ Her words had become an intimate whisper and she quickly cleared her throat.

‘I mean, I have the girls to consider. You have other demands on your time.’ He was looking at her lips again, watching how they parted, how the air escaped from between them. How would they taste? He desperately wanted to know but as though he realised where his thoughts were heading yet again, he cut them off. Jennifer needed friends. He could tell there was still much of her past she hadn’t dealt with and only time and good friendly support could get her through it. ‘I’m glad I could help out with the house. That’s one less thing you have to worry about.’

As he spoke, it was then Jennifer realised that he understood. He understood about Arturo and the connection she still felt with him. The past wasn’t easy to put to rest and knowing he’d walked the path she was finally willing to face, to finally let go of the past, not only gave her confidence to take the next step but also increased her opinion of him. ‘I’m glad you mentioned it to me. It really does seem as though it was meant to be. It has everything I need.’

‘And it has a window-seat.’

She smiled then sighed. ‘It does.’ Jennifer paused for a moment. ‘I like them, Jasper. They relax me. Strange how an inanimate object like a window-seat can relax someone in mind, body and spirit.’

Her eyes had taken on that far-off look again and Jasper
didn’t say anything, waiting to see if she was willing to share her thoughts with him. He didn’t have to wait as long this time and he hoped it was because she was coming to trust him, to realise that he truly did understand what she was going through.

‘I bought a house years ago with bay windows,’ she said after a few minutes.

‘Where?’

‘Cherrybrook.’

‘That’s only a few suburbs over from here.’

‘I know.’

‘What happened?’

‘I sold the house before I could move in.’ Again Jasper remained quiet, waiting, giving her time to collect her thoughts. ‘When I say that
I
bought the house, well, that’s not strictly true. Arturo and I bought the house—together. We’d planned to move in after our honeymoon. We’d arranged to spend a good two weeks of our time off to set the house to rights, make it our own, set up my window-seat haven.’

As she spoke, she looked past him, as though she wasn’t really seeing him any more but was lost in her memories. He knew all too well how that felt. ‘What happened?’