A Mother's Shame (17 page)

The man, who appeared to be almost as far around as he was high, checked the tickets that Joshua handed over, then with a little bow in Isabelle’s direction he asked them to follow him. ‘You and the young lady are cabin passengers, sir,’ he told Joshua. ‘They are along this way.’

They followed him down a steep wooden staircase and along a narrow corridor until eventually he stopped in front of a door and motioned Isabelle, with Maria close on her heels, inside.

‘Goodness me, it is very tiny. How are we supposed to manage in here?’ Isabelle groaned. Right next door to their cabin was a small water closet and this too had her wrinkling her nose in distaste. Another door from Isabelle’s room led into the maid’s quarters and this proved to be tinier still with nothing but a small cot bed attached to the wall and room for one trunk on the floor at the very most.

Next, the steward led Joshua to a single cabin just along the corridor and then, turning to Kitty, who was visibly trembling by now, he told her, ‘You’ll be down in steerage, m’dear, with the single females.’

He led her on to another set of steep wooden stairs and pointed down them. ‘This ’ere is the companionway,’ he informed her. ‘An’ down there is the single women’s quarters.’ He then turned and walked off, leaving Kitty to find her own way.

It looked very dark down there but knowing she had no choice, Kitty slowly and carefully began to descend. When she eventually entered the women’s quarters she gazed about in shocked disbelief. There were two rows of bunks along either wall and already women of various shapes and sizes were lounging about on them. The floor was cluttered with their luggage and already the smell of stale sweat and unwashed bodies hung on the air. All down the centre of the room was a table with benches either side of it which were all firmly nailed to the floor, but other than that the place was bare. Not even a port-hole that might admit a little fresh air. But then Kitty supposed they must be well below sealevel down here.

As she stood there hesitantly a huge woman with her hair scraped back into a severe bun came marching towards her.

‘Name?’ she barked, glancing at a list she held.

‘It’s Kitty, miss.’ Kitty’s heart was pounding and she was sure she had never been so terrified in her life. But then this woman could strike terror into the hardest of hearts.

‘Kitty who?’

‘J-just Kitty, miss.’

‘Hmph! Ah, here we are then! Come with me.’ She drew a line through Kitty’s name. ‘I am Miss Henshaw, the Matron in these quarters, and for the duration of the voyage you will be answerable to me. I shall expect you to keep your own bunk tidy, and there is to be no fraternising with the sailors. You will not be allowed out of this room after ten o’clock at night for any reason, and it will be the worse for you if you disobey me. Is that clear?’

‘Yes, ma’am,’ Kitty muttered, disliking the woman more with every passing minute.

‘Good, then seeing as you are so small, you shall have one of the upper bunks. This one here will do.’ She had led Kitty almost to the end of the long room and now, after pointing up to one of the bunks, she turned and hurried away, leaving Kitty alone. The girl threw her valise up ahead of her then clambered up onto the hard straw-filled mattress, suddenly dreading the voyage ahead. This was certainly a far cry from the luxurious hotel she had stayed in the night before, but then she supposed beggars couldn’t be choosers, as Mrs Bradshaw had always told her. She was just going to have to make the best of it.

The following morning, Maria was woken by the sound of a bell clanging up on deck. She started awake then winced at the crick in her neck. The striped ticking mattress on the bed was so hard that she felt as if she had slept on the floor, and the cot was so narrow that she had not even been able to turn over. Sitting up cautiously, she stretched – then swinging her feet out of bed she wrapped her old shawl about her shoulders and tapped on the adjoining door.

‘Come in.’

She entered to find Isabelle propped up in a bed that was only slightly more comfortable than her own with her arms folded tightly about her chest. She was in a bad humour. ‘This cabin is
abominable,’
she snapped pettishly. ‘Surely Mama could have found us something better than this. We shall never survive for four months in here, and it’s so
cold!’

Maria smiled at her encouragingly. ‘Why don’t we get you dressed then, miss? You can take a turn about the deck then and go to the dining cabin for breakfast. That will warm you up.’

‘I dare say it will be better than sitting here,’ Isabelle moaned as she climbed out of her bunk.

She washed hastily in the cold water that Maria poured into the bowl for her then after helping her to dress, Maria pinned her hair up.

‘There, that’s better, isn’t it?’ Maria said as if placating a child as she fetched Isabelle’s warm cloak.

‘Slightly, I suppose,’ Isabelle admitted grudgingly. ‘But you get dressed too now Maria and go for your meal. I believe there is a different dining area for servants. You can tidy my clothes up when you have eaten.’

Once Isabelle had gone, Maria quickly did as she was told and soon she too was up on the deck, amazed at all the activity going on around her. High above her, the ship’s sails flapped and cracked in the wind, and after asking directions she hastily made her way to the servants’ dining cabin. A woman in a voluminous white apron was standing at a table ladling out bowls of porridge and sloshing stewed tea into cracked mugs, and as Maria looked around she was relieved to see Kitty sitting alone with her head bowed looking very sorry for herself. After quickly fetching her breakfast, which looked as unappetising as anything she had ever eaten, she joined Kitty.

A look of relief washed across the girl’s face. ‘Oh, Maria. I’m
so
pleased to see you,’ she gabbled. ‘It’s horrible down in the women’s quarters and the Matron is
so
sour-faced, I reckon she could even give Mrs Bradshaw a run for her money!’

Maria grinned. ‘Well, I’m sure you’ll be fine just so long as you do as you’re told.’ She grimaced then as she took a mouthful of porridge which was just as disgusting as it looked.

Kitty brightened. She always felt better when she was with Maria. ‘’T’ain’t as posh as the breakfast we had yesterday, is it?’ she said. ‘But what’s your cabin like?’

‘Tiny,’ Maria answered. ‘And Miss Isabelle isn’t best pleased with hers either but I dare say we’ll manage.’

When the girls had finished eating they moved back out onto the deck, glad of the warm capes that Miss Isabelle had bought them, and leaned on the rails. The seamen were working feverishly now to prepare for sailing in less than two hours’ time, and they had to be careful to keep out of their way. The gangplank had been pulled up now and Maria felt a pang of apprehension. It was as if the last link to the world she had known had been severed – and who knew what the future would hold?

At noon a pilot took control of the ship to guide it out of the estuary, and as the enormous craft pulled away from the dock, Kitty clung to Maria fearfully. She had cleaned Master Joshua’s cabin and was now in the process of doing the same to Miss Isabelle’s, but suddenly both girls had the urge to see their last sight of dry land.

‘Let’s go up on deck!’ Kitty said daringly and with a smile Maria agreed and they grabbed their cloaks and headed along the corridor.

Once on deck they were shocked at the number of people there. Children were racing about, oblivious of the cold, and emigrants hung across the railings determined to watch their homeland until it was out of sight. Smartly dressed ladies in crinolines paraded up and down on the arms of dapper gentlemen who were hanging onto their hats for fear of the bitter wind snatching them away. The ship had begun to rise and fall now and Kitty gripped the rail as a wave of nausea swept through her. Others were already leaning over the railings depositing their breakfasts into the sea, and the sight of them made Kitty feel even worse if that was possible, although she clung on bravely.

It was as they were standing there that Maria became aware of someone right next to her and when she glanced around, she saw Joshua.

‘I thought I would come and see how you both are,’ he said pleasantly. ‘Isabelle is listening to a band in the main salon.’

The salon, she had been informed, was to be used for many activities that the passengers would invent during the course of the voyage, but Maria preferred to be out in the fresh air – for now, at least.

‘I am very well, sir, thank you,’ she responded primly. ‘Although I fear Kitty is not so.’

A hurried glance at Kitty’s white face confirmed what she had said and Josh instantly asked, ‘Would you like to go and lie down, Kitty?’

‘Oh no, sir, thanks very much but happen I’m best where I am,’ she managed to answer. With every second that passed, the docks were receding into the distance. Seagulls squawked and wheeled overhead and Maria felt painfully aware of Joshua’s closeness.

Glancing up at the sails now, he told her, ‘The pilot will leave us when we reach the lighthouse and then we will have to wait for the wind to fill the sails.’

On the other side of him a young couple with their four little children clutching at their mother’s skirts were openly crying and Maria felt sorry for them. Like her, they were no doubt wondering if they would ever come home again. As if reading her thoughts, Joshua lightly rested his hand on hers and she felt fire burn up her arm.

‘I think you will like Tasmania,’ he told her, hoping to take her mind off the receding coastline. ‘It is sunny almost all of the time there. Not at all like England, and the wildlife there is quite extraordinary. They have parrots where we are used to sparrows. Do you know anything about Australia, Maria?’

He was so kind that she felt herself begin to relax a little and even managed a faltering smile. ‘Not much, sir, only what I have read in books that I managed to get from the free reading rooms,’ she replied.

‘Ah, then I think you will be pleasantly surprised. Tasmania is well known for its sheep farms, and our uncle has one of the largest there. I visited once with my parents a few years ago, and I must admit I loved it so much I scarcely wanted to come home.’ He chuckled at the memory but the conversation was halted when Kitty suddenly leaned across the railings to be violently sick.

‘Oh dear,’ Maria said in dismay as she placed her arm about the poor girl’s heaving shoulders. Kitty had turned an alarming shade of green. Joshua hurried away, only to return minutes later with a glass of water. The girl accepted it gratefully and gulped at it, but unfortunately this only seemed to make matters worse and within seconds she was being sick again, as were many more of the passengers by now.

‘Perhaps you should leave me to look after her, sir,’ Maria suggested, deeply embarrassed that he should have to witness his maid being so ill. But Joshua was having none of it.

‘I most certainly will not,’ he answered firmly. Then: ‘Come along, Kitty. I shall escort you down to the steerage. Perhaps a lie-down for a short while will make you feel better.’

He hustled her away with her small hand clapped across her mouth, and at the door to the single ladies’ quarters Miss Henshaw stopped him with a stern expression on her face.

‘I’m sorry, sir, but gentlemen are not allowed beyond this point.’ She stood resolutely blocking the door and Joshua had to stifle a grin. Anyone would have thought she was guarding the crown jewels.

‘Then could you see that this young lady is taken care of,’ he managed to say, keeping a straight face. ‘I’m afraid she is feeling rather unwell.’

‘Of course, sir.’ So are half of the other passengers, the woman thought to herself. But they don’t get their masters escorting them to their beds. It really was most inappropriate! She then grasped poor Kitty’s elbow with her mouth set in a grim line and whisked her through the door, leaving Joshua standing there like a spare part.

He shook his head and chuckled softly as he turned and took the steep staircase two at a time, but once back on deck the smile vanished as he saw that Maria had gone.

Later that afternoon, when the boat reached the lighthouse, the pilot took his leave. As he clambered down a ladder into the small boat that would take him back to shore a cheer went up amongst the steerage passengers who were well enough to be out on deck. They were truly at sea now, and all they had to do now was to wait for the wind to fill the sails. It came within the hour, making the sails snap like gunshots, and the vessel began to bounce across the waves at an alarming rate, making the people who were already unwell feel even worse.

Isabelle was one of the casualties, and as Maria mopped her damp forehead with a cloth she groaned and clutched her stomach.

‘Oh dear,’ she whimpered as she leaned over the bucket Maria had placed at the side of her bunk bed. ‘I fear I am going to die, Maria.’

‘No, you’re not, miss,’ Maria told her gently, grateful that she wasn’t suffering from sea sickness too. ‘One of the sailors on deck told me that once we get further out to sea it will be calmer and then you will start to feel better.’

In actual fact the sky had darkened before the waves subsided, and by then Maria was exhausted. She had slipped down to the women’s quarter’s to see how Kitty was faring, only to be turned away at the door by Miss Henshaw.

‘Kitty will be fine,’ she told her. ‘I am quite used to caring for passengers with weak stomachs.’

‘But I thought if I could just see—’

‘No, I am afraid that is quite out of the question,’ Miss Henshaw told her, holding her hand up to stop the girl’s flow of words. ‘Now I suggest you get back to your mistress. I am assuming you
are
a lady’s maid?’

Feeling quite intimidated by the woman, Maria nodded numbly.

‘Then off you go. I am sure Kitty will be well enough to resume her duties by the morning.’

Realising that there was no more to be said, Maria slowly climbed the steep wooden staircase and wandered over to the railings. Above her, the sky was full of stars that made the black waters sparkle, and despite the cold, Maria was sure she had never seen anything quite so pretty.