A Pact For Life (41 page)

Following the breakup, Diana started a mad scramble to try and find a date. A quick browse through her phone contacts led to two possible candidates, Jenny or Cale. After some thought, she decided she didn't want to call Cale and tell him about the breakup or explain the reason why she needed a date. It wasn't fair to put him through that, nor did she want him to think of himself as a backup plan. She had already done enough damage to his life, he didn't deserve any more pain. So that left Jenny as the lucky recipient of Diana's frantic phone call.

“Alright, Diana! You're up!” Shouted one of Caitlyn's friends who was playing the role of wedding coordinator.

Defeated, Diana put her arm through the elbow of her counterpart on the groom's side, and shuffled down the aisle as the DJ changed the music from
tssts
to a more traditional harp and piano. She received a thumbs up from Jenny while her family gave appreciatory nods for being a bridesmaid at another wedding. They knew Caitlyn well enough to know wedding #3 would likely be followed by divorce #3.

At the altar, Diana joined Jimmy and the other groomsmen. They were dressed in all white tuxedos clearly in some desire to look like a mid-90's R&B group. Too bad it was about fifteen years too late for this look to be anything but awkward.

Finally, that familiar music started to play, and down the aisle came Caitlyn in an altered wedding dress fit for a princess... of strip clubs. It was extremely tight and had enough cleavage that every boy between the ages of twelve through sixteen would never forget that day for the rest of their lives.

Next to Caitlyn, Benjamin Young looked about as thrilled as one can be while walking their child down the aisle for the third time.

As everyone took their seats, Diana felt like she was on a pillar. All eyes were focused on her because they knew what a laughable sight she had become. Pregnant with no ring and a female coworker as a date. With those two things, Diana assumed everyone either thought she was a slut, a lesbian, an all-around train-wreck, or all three combined. A slutty, lesbian, train-wreck.

To summarize her thoughts regarding the ceremony:
I hope the vows are quick
.

The reverend opened with talk of everlasting love, children of Jesus, and how they were there to make two become one. Diana scoffed at his remarks. The more she stood there and listened to such bullshit proclamations, the more she became relieved that she wasn't likely to ever get married. The whole thing was such a hollow act of love.

Having two toothbrushes in one holder. Now that was love.

Jimmy said his vows first. “Caitlyn, I know we don't have that much in common, but we love each other so there's that. You're hot, and funny,” Diana saw Caitlyn's jaw moving. She was mouthing the words to Jimmy. “And smart. I'll love you forever.”

The vows caused half the crowd to exchange puzzled glances while the other half were too stoned, drunk, senile, young, or bored to pay attention. However, Diana thought they were great. They were quick, and more importantly, they drew all of the crowd's attention to Jimmy.

Her sister's vows however...

“James, let me fill your heart with joy and laughter. Togetherness is all I'm after. Whenever you need me, I'll be there.”

Diana rolled her eyes as Caitlyn drew a breath and continued on. She was going to do the whole goddamn song. There would be no quick ceremony. Not when $25,000 worth of everlasting love were involved.

“So have you thought of a name for the baby?” Some distant cousin of Diana asked.

“I have a few picked out, but nothing definite,” Diana said as she brushed her hair behind her ear. It was a prearranged distress signal to Jenny. Over the course of the reception, it was the third time she sent out this silent request for help.

“Oh that is so exciting! Can you share them?”

Right on cue, Jenny appeared and interrupted the conversation. “Diana, your mom needs you outside.”

“I'm sorry...” Diana paused as she tried to remember her cousin's name. It never came, so Diana closed with, “It was good to see you.”

It was a mild June night in Denver. Dry and warm, but not stifling. The kind of weather that's ideal for dresses, which if you actually think about it, is a win for everyone. Diana and Jenny appeared to be the only ones on a patio outside the banquet hall. Everyone else had either gone home or were still inside partying.

“Thanks for rescuing me again, Jenny. I hope that's the last time tonight.”

“That conversation was that bad?”

Diana shook her head and said, “The only thing people want to talk about is the baby or my dating life. They are trying to figure out the story of why I'm pregnant and single. I hate this, Jenny. I want to talk about work. At least then I'll be talking about something I'm good at.”

Following Diana spiel, Jenny laughed.

“What's so funny?”

“Diana, do you remember the party for when you made partner?”

“Yeah, what does that have to do with this?”

“You were devastated because people only wanted to talk about work. Back then, you would've done anything to talk about family or dating.”

“Oh c'mon, I was drunk.”

Diana didn't see the big picture, so Jenny decided to help her. “Don't use the drunk excuse. There's something to this that you shouldn't dismiss. Look at how much you've added to your life in only a year. For one, you have a daughter now. Think about that for a second.”

Diana answered, “I never planned for things to go this way. Look at me, Jenny. I've ruined every meaningful relationship, God only knows how bad of a mother I'm gonna be... Cale was right all along, I should've gone with adoption. Actually, there's still time. Do you think I should do that?”

Jenny lied, “I don't have an opinion either way. That's something you have to decide for yourself.” She looked down at her watch. “It's getting pretty late, Diana, I think I'm gonna head home.”

“I'm leaving too. Just gotta go say goodbye to everyone.”

“Alright, I guess I'll see you Monday then.” Jenny gave Diana a hug and said, “I have faith things are gonna be alright.”

Diana heard this as nothing more than a standard response to the situation. It's like saying, “Nice to meet you,” after shaking someone's hand. Nothing but empty, meaningless words.

With Jenny gone, Diana stood outside the banquet door and listened to the screams, shouts, and market-tested, purely radio driven choruses coming from inside. She stepped back from the door and walked over to a railing to ponder the issue of adoption.

At the heart of the adoption debate was one crucial factor - Diana's inability to keep a relationship. The breakup with Andrew proved she was not cut out for relationships. Like him, she was in love with her job, and there was no room for anyone else.

Then again, she did love her daughter...

“Is it still bad in there?” A soft voice asked from behind Diana.

She turned around and found her brother Jack sitting by himself.

“Hmmm... Is it still bad in there?” Diana asked out loud as she heard the
mmn
,
tsst
,
mmn
,
tsst
come from inside the reception. “For us, yeah, it's still bad. Caitlyn on the other hand...”

Diana looked down at a spread of cocktail napkins on the table in front of her brother. There were pencil sketches on each one. Some were of the wedding and some were of the reception, but one that caught Diana's eye had nothing to do with anything related to the wedding. It was of a couple walking down the street hand in hand. There were no details given to the man and woman. Just two black silhouettes against a pencil gray street, gray trees, and gray sky.

“What is this one about?” Diana asked her brother.

“I'm not sure, it just popped in my head while I was drawing this one about Caitlyn and Jimmy.”

Jack gave Diana another one that featured Caitlyn doing a shot with Jimmy. It was nowhere near as romantic as the silhouetted couple, but then again, things always seem a bit more romantic when they lack details.

Diana focused once again on the silhouetted couple and asked, “Can I have this one?” Jack nodded. “This looks like something Cale would do.”

“Really, you think so!?”

“Sure. I'll show it to him the next time I see him.”

Diana wasn't sure when the next time she would see Cale, or if she would even remember to bring that napkin, but the hopeful look in her brother's eyes forced her to lie.

“Diana, is there any chance you and Cale will get back together?”

This kind of talk was foreign territory for Diana and her little brother. Their relationship was one of homework help, how to choose a college, and making fun of Caitlyn, not Diana's love life.

“I don't think so, Jack. We just aren't cut out to be together.”

“I don't understand. You guys were happy?”

“Really? That's how you saw it?” Diana said with surprise. “Jack, do you think I'll be a good mother?”

This question was much too deep for a sixteen year old to answer with any sort of logical answer. “Umm, probably.”

“I'm thinking about giving the baby up for adoption.”

Afraid to say the wrong thing, Jack asked, “Isn't that something you should ask Cale?”

“Yeah, you're right.” Diana said as she wondered if she could bring it up with Cale.

Diana was sore from standing all day, and knew it was time to leave wedding #3. She offered Jack a ride, but he declined out of fear of being asked more personal questions. With the cocktail napkin drawing in her hand, Diana waved goodbye to her brother and headed for her car alone.

On the walk through the parking lot, the truly terrible events of Diana's day replayed in her head. The break up with Andrew. The wedding. The nonstop barrage of baby and relationship questions. She had been strong all day, but as the door to her black Mercedes closed, Diana lost all composure. To have that many losses in one day was way too much for anyone, pregnant or otherwise.

Her hands were doing their best to catch her tears, but they quickly became too much to handle. They ran down her arms and splashed on the hideous dress. She looked up and saw nothing but blurs. Unable to see, she buried her face in her wet hands once again and let the tears flow.

She cried for everything she did to Cale. She cried for everything she was going to do to her daughter. She cried that she had gone all her life without learning how to love. She cried that she had gone all her life with only knowing how to work. She cried for a life that she truly wanted, but knew she couldn't handle.

Maybe it was desperation or maybe it was the hand of the divine, but Diana picked up her phone and dialed Cale. Of everyone she knew, he was the only one who could save her. The phone rang. And rang. And then clicked onto his voice mail.

That idiot Cale had forgotten her.

But Diana Young would not be denied.

UNTRADITIONAL

Still in her hideous bridesmaid dress, Diana stood in front of Cale's door, hesitant to knock. Her hesitation stemmed over what she would find inside. From the sound of the music blasting, Cale was throwing one hell of a party.

But there weren't any voices, only the music and an occasional
tink
,
tink
,
tink
. The music sounded expansive, warm, and familiar. It was alive. The
tinking
sounded... well, like
tinking
.

After gathering the necessary courage to face whatever was behind the door, Diana knocked and hoped she wasn't making a terrible mistake.

Her knocks didn't come anywhere close to getting Cale's attention. Shirtless and wearing jeans, he was covered in dust and still sported a few cuts, bruises, a a soft cast on his right hand from the bar fight, but those injuries didn't matter. Cale was in heaven in front of a large slab of stone.

Sculpting, or any creative pursuit for that matter, has these moments where you're literally one with the work. This oneness is the goal of all creators. It can last a few seconds, hours, days, or if you're truly lucky, a lifetime. It can bring a writer to tears over a character's action, cause a musician to explode during a particular riff, or in Cale's case, feel as if he was experiencing the happiest moment in the life of the person he was etching in stone.