A Perfect Crime (3 page)

I
ate lunch. Deciding to save a few cents, I then took the bus to the train station.

The square in front of the station was hemmed in by a wall on one side, upon which was painted a gigantic map of China. People passed before it like swelling, pulsing shoals of fish. I joined them, standing in front as if standing before the river of time. Tomorrow the Chief of Police might be standing here too. He’d ponder the very same question I was pondering right there and then: where would someone go if they were on the run? To me, this was a question with endless possible answers. The Chief of Police would cut the map in two according to two fundamental possible choices: the first, places of emotional resonance; the second, places with people known to the fugitive.

I thought for a bit and realised I didn’t have a strong emotional connection to a single person in the whole wide world. There was my cousin, I guess, on my father’s side. But the only person I really felt a bond with was myself. For ages I’d dreamed of climbing
some famous mountain and watching the sun rise. Indeed, for a while I believed it to be the only way to cure an exhausted heart.

I went to the ticket hall and started queuing. I was going to buy a ticket for the next day, 4.30 in the afternoon. After standing in the queue for half an hour I realised that the train would only be passing through this station, so there was a chance it could be delayed. I left the queue to think through my options again. I ended up buying a ticket for a train that left the next day at 4.10 because it originated in the city. After that I found an airline ticket office far from the station and called them. I used the video function to show them my ID and bought myself a discounted ticket for a few hundred, leaving at 9.00 in the evening the next day.

In the afternoon I went back to the clothes shop. The owner was wearing an old skirt suit and was taking a nap with her head on the counter. Dribble was leaching from the corner of her mouth and her eyes weren’t fully closed, revealing a ghastly white cleft. The doorbell tinkled as I entered. The shirt, suit, leather shoes and briefcase I’d tried on last time were dumped in a pile and still hadn’t been put away.

I knocked on the counter, bringing her back from distant dreamlands.

‘Anything caught your fancy?’

I pointed to the four items. She looked at them, looked at me and then it came back to her.

‘But I offered them to you for two hundred and you didn’t want them.’

‘No, I want them. Two sets’

I peeled four notes from the bundle of money. She eyed them suspiciously until a smile suddenly opened across her face like an umbrella and she sprang into action. I felt like God sprinkling sweet nectar on this wretched woman.

She poured me tea and kept saying, ‘I knew you were a decent young man.’

I figured that if I gave her a list she could source the stuff for me from other shops if she didn’t have them: a leather belt, shoe polish, cologne, a hat and the rest of the half-used bottle of hair gel – for free, of course. I got her to swap the hat for a bigger one.

After she’d put the stuff in a bag, she rubbed her hands together like a child waiting for her reward. I took out another two hundred.

‘Thank you, Uncle,’ she said. ‘Uncle must be a very important man.’

I
also bought some rat poison, a couple of packets of crackers and water to take care of Old He’s dog. I
ripped open and polished off one packet as soon as I got back home. Then I poured rat poison onto another packet of crackers, bashing the plastic bag until they were broken into crumbs. After that was done, I started packing excitedly as if I was just a normal tourist off on holiday. I stuffed the money deep into the bottom of my bag and filled it up with underpants, shoe polish, a toothbrush, toothpaste, a towel, shampoo, soap, more crackers and water, then I placed the glasses, briefcase, shirts, suits, socks, the leather belt, leather shoes, hair gel, a comb and the bottle of cologne on top of those. I slipped the train tickets and two ID cards into my wallet. One of them was fake. I got it before I could grow a beard just for a bit of a laugh. It cost me one hundred
yuan
from a guy who specialised in fake documents. Say hello to Li Ming, from Beijing.

I grabbed the hat and kneaded it before putting it on. Then I checked to see that I hadn’t forgotten anything. I didn’t trust myself, so I opened my bag and tipped everything out. Turns out I was right to, as I’d forgotten to pack a razor. Not that forgetting a razor was a fatal error or anything – I could’ve just bought one downstairs. But it reminded me that this was one of the last things over which I would have total control and responsibility. If they caught me, that is.

After that I started tidying up the flat. The living room was small and when my aunt was here she’d stuffed it with all sorts of useless objects. I closed the windows on two sides, pulled the curtains across and started pushing the TV table, sofa, shoe rack and bonsai into one corner. Then I mopped the floor clean and went to the bathroom to get to the washing machine. I pushed it out and placed it close to the door. I put the switchblade and rope in another corner of the room. I found the end of the duct tape and stuck the roll to the wall.

I lay down on the floor, doused myself in the last remains of my anxiety and called my mother. This was the first time I’d ever picked up the phone and called her of my own volition. We were always fighting.

When Pa died, Ma didn’t shed a single tear. She just launched herself into her business selling fizzy drinks and snacks. She was stingy, my ma, preferring to drink only boiled water and do all her own heavy lifting. If I tried to eat any of her stock she’d bat me away, saying it was unhygienic, that they’d all been fried in second-hand oil. I’d retort that such famous brands couldn’t possibly endanger their customers’ health in such a way and she had to admit that it was also a question of lost profit.

‘Why do you care so much about making money?’ I asked.

‘For you, of course.’

‘For me? And yet I’m not allowed to eat even one packet?’

‘I’m trying my best to scrape together a living. For you, yes.’

‘And what if I get cancer? Won’t it all have been for nothing?’

‘Well, you’re not having it anyway,’ she replied in her arbitrary way.

Money was her only love. Every cent that passed through my fingers made her eyes bulge in anguish. If she was forced to choose between me and one thousand
yuan,
well, you get the picture. Later I came to see it all differently. Those funny arguments only happened because she was scared to see me grow up, this illiterate woman whose one measure of life was the struggle to make money. It was her sole means of controlling me.

I argued with her less after that. She could do whatever she wanted. But now, as her voice reached out to me from the other end of the phone and I thought about the fact that I was about to leave this world for ever, tears welled up in my eyes. You only have one mother. I’d read that in a book. I sat up quietly and listened to her solemn counsel.

‘Son, you’ve completed an important stage in your life, so make sure you listen to what your uncle and aunt tell you and work hard.’

‘Mm,’ came my reply.

We didn’t have much to say to each other, so I asked, ‘Has Auntie arrived?’

‘Yes, she’s here. She’s very good to me. She brought me lots of expensive clothes.’

‘When’s she coming back?’

‘Tomorrow afternoon.’

That was enough, so I hung up. Only one day left now. It was time. I decided to text Kong Jie. She was the only person I knew who would come over.

My aunt is driving me mad, I can’t take it any more. I could kill her.

What is it? Calm down, we’ll think of something,
she replied.

Her voice was like a heavenly waterfall cascading over my body. Moments later it was gone. I hesitated. I could feel excitement in every bit of my body. I heard her voice again and it came clearly – soft, honest. Anxious. Loyal. It was the sound of love, even if I wasn’t the only one to receive it. I burst into loud sobs.

I cried so hard it didn’t feel real. I paced the room. I was miserable, because I knew now I would kill her. Because I could.

I found a notebook and wrote the date, but I couldn’t think of anything to say so I jotted down some random sentences and then wrote:

it’s her, it’s her, it’s her

it’s her, it’s her, it’s her

But I tore that page out and burned it. I needed to leave this for the police. I started again:

cousin cousin cousin cousin

cousin cousin cousin cousin

I wrote page after page, until my hand hurt so much I had to stop.

T
he alarm was set for 9.00 but I was awake by 8.00. I sent a text to Kong Jie.

We can’t stand each other. I’ve nowhere to go. I’m packing my stuff and leaving this afternoon at 2.00. Can you come?

Can’t you fix it?
she replied.

No, I’ve already bought a train ticket back home for this evening.

There was nothing for a long time. I stared at the phone, my plan falling apart. Relationships never last. What’s important to one person is just piffling dog shit to another.

Just then her reply bleeped onto the screen.

Don’t be too hasty, see if you can fix things first?

Can we talk?

Sure,
she replied.

I called her. ‘Can you come, then?’

There was no sound on the other end. She didn’t want to. She was nice to everyone, but I creeped her out. I was an inconvenience.

‘Forget I said anything. It doesn’t matter,’ I said, and hung up.

After a while she sent a message.

I’ll be there. Don’t be upset. No matter how bad things get, they can always be fixed. Trust me.

Thanks.

My reply was deliberately cold. But I was relieved. She was coming.

Old Mr He was making a stir-fry next door; I could hear the metal spoon scraping the bottom of the wok. The sound made my teeth hurt. I took pleasure in knowing that his stupid mutt would soon be dead.

I changed into a T-shirt, put on my cap and went downstairs. It was nearly time for the guards to swap shift. I slapped my flip-flops against the tarmac so that they echoed. The guard looked at me sideways, his hands stuck firmly to the seams of his trousers and his body still, like a sculpture. I walked closer to get a better look. Sweat poured from his hat like rain from the eaves. His fingertips and buttocks were trembling from the strain.

I coughed a few times while I thought of something to say.

‘Hey, buddy, are you on duty this afternoon?’

He turned his face ninety degrees like a robot to look at me and saluted.

‘Yes, until 3.00.’

‘I’ve got a friend coming at 2.00. Could you let them in?’

‘What does he look like?’

‘It’s a girl.’

He smiled meaningfully.

I removed my cap and fanned myself. ‘It’s roasting,’ I said.

‘Sure is,’ he said, taking a moment to relax.

He obviously wanted to chat, but I sauntered off. I loathed everything about his life. I wasn’t going to become friends with him.

There were still a few more hours to kill, so I found a struggling barber’s shop, walked in and announced, ‘My hair’s a mess. I want it sorted.’

They swooped like sparrows, switching on the electric fan, making tea, moving chairs. How did I want it washed? What style was I thinking of? I flicked through a magazine, but they were all hideous.

‘Got anything more normal?’

They fetched another magazine filled with squeaky- clean Japanese and Korean youths. I gesticulated, trying to describe what I wanted, but I couldn’t. At that moment an ageless news anchor appeared on the TV

‘Like that,’ I said, pointing.

I stared at the TV and suddenly it occurred to me that the broadcaster’s every movement, his every word, was a perfect display of his suitability for the job. I asked for pen and paper and started making notes. If you want
to gain people’s respect and trust quickly you have to adhere to the following principles:

1 Dress in clean, plain clothing in a palette of sombre colours.

2 Keep hair in a neat side-parting pushed back to the right. No hair must ever fall out of place. Wash it regularly to keep it looking healthy and shiny.

3 Don’t be too expressive.

4 All movements should be sedate, natural and moderate.

5 Head should be kept upright, chin ever so slightly pulled back and a sincere smile should be adopted at all times.

6 Eyes shouldn’t be too open, nor should they glaze over. They should be bright, mild and focused straight ahead (if angled slightly downwards). The person in front of you is always the most important person in the room.

I examined myself in the mirror, but the face staring back at me was the very opposite of this description. My eyes were cold and detached, the corners of my mouth were pulled downwards, my beard was stubbly, my hair pointed in all directions. Lethargy and boredom,
which seemed to have grown in me over the years, were etched into my face. I may not have been a criminal yet, but I made a good suspect.

I tried imitating the broadcaster’s demeanour, but it wasn’t easy. Hardest to capture was his overall sense of decorum, and for a while the hairdresser and I found my attempt the funniest thing in the world. But my eyes lit up once the hairdresser was done. I almost didn’t recognise the dignified man looking back at me.

I
t was still early, so I went to play pool. Being the middle of the morning, the place was empty, so I suggested to the boss that we play a game.

He looked at me sideways and then replied evenly, ‘I don’t really know how to play.’ He was already holding a cue.

‘Me neither.’

He fluffed the break, so I wanted to let him go again, but he said, ‘Rules are rules. No special favours here.’

‘OK,’ I replied, took up my cue and bent over the table awkwardly to make my shot.

The first game was worth fifty, but I didn’t want to win and he was unwilling to pot the balls.