A Perfect Mistake (31 page)

A nurse dabbed at
the moisture and pushed back my hair. “It’s going to be
all right, Boone.”

Her voice was
comforting. But it wouldn’t be all right until I saw Verity.
Saw that she was okay, whole. I closed my eyes and drifted away.

Voices woke me. It
was Dr. Stevens. My head cleared even more and the pain of Verity
holding back on me mixed in with the anger.

“I was extra
careful with the slash on his face. He shouldn’t scar. I’m
going to recommend that he remain in the hospital. I’d like to
pump more fluids into him and keep an eye on him. His wounds,
although they looked terrible, were luckily not too severe. He should
recover completely.”

“Thank you,”
I heard my ma say, then it was quiet.

I realized that I
was in a hospital bed in a different room. It was dim, but I made out
my ma’s silhouette as she stood near the bed.

“Ma.” My
voice was rusty.

“Yes, Boone?”

“Verity?”

“She’s
out of surgery. They won’t tell us anything because we’re
not next of kin. But, I tell you what. I’ll go find Mrs.
Fairchild and try to get more information. The sheriff wants to talk
to you. Do you feel up to that?”

“Yes, I can
talk to him. Turn on the light.”

She reached over and
turned on the bedside lamp.

A few minutes later,
the sheriff came into the room. “How you doing, Boone?”

“I’ve
been better, Sheriff.”

“I bet. Can I
ask you a few questions?”

I nodded.

After I told the
whole story of how Billy Joe had attacked us, Sheriff Dalton said. “I
found a sermon on his computer. It was all about cleansing Verity of
the devil Outlaw.”

“Freeman?”

“You gave him
a concussion, broke his wrist, and he’s in this hospital.”

“Sheriff…”

“Don’t
worry, he’s being watched, and he’s cuffed to the bed. As
soon as he’s well enough, he’s going to face charges.”

“I only care
about Verity’s safety. I got a bad feeling about him, I should
have followed up with that.” But I had been so distracted by
Verity and falling madly in love with her. Now I didn’t even
know where we stood.

“You saved her
from Freeman, and with your quick thinking saved her life. You should
be proud of yourself, son. The more I get to know you boys, the more
I find to like. You take care.”

“Thank you,
Sheriff.”

My ma came back into
the room just as the sheriff was leaving. He squeezed her arm.

“Verity is in
stable condition, which Mrs. Fairchild tells me is good. That poor
child was really lucky. The knife only nicked her kidney and nothing
else vital. The main danger to her was the shock of losing so much
blood, which you helped with by pressing that towel over her wound.”

I couldn’t
stop the well of emotion that swamped me. I covered my eyes, my
throat thick and burning with my relief.

My ma stroked my
hair and didn’t say anything.

Verity. My
beautiful Verity was all right. But nothing was settled between us
and everything had changed.

#

Verity

Awareness returned
in fragments—like slivers of light infiltrating my mind—and
I opened my eyes, blinking several times as I came fully awake. My
room was dim and I could just make out my momma asleep in a nearby
chair. I was pretty sure a couple of days had passed as I was in and
out of sleep.

I had woken up only
one time before, but not fully. Mrs. Outlaw had been here. I realized
I was in the hospital and everything that had happened flowed back to
me. I remembered her telling my mother what room Boone was in.

Boone!
He
was the only thing that was real and solid in my shattered universe.
He’d fought Billy Joe. My whole body trembled with those
terrible memories. He’d been hurt. Hurt so many times because
of me.

Billy Joe could have
taken everything. If he’d carried through with his threat and
killed Boone, I would have wanted to just die right there.

Finally, I closed my
eyes, the guilt nearly unbearable. What he must think of me. I’d
told him about the baby, I remembered that I had, but not much else.
I wanted him to know everything.

A new wave of panic
rose in me and I squeezed my eyes tight to hold back the tears, not
wanting to think what my admission was doing to Boone. There was a
time that I thought Boone Outlaw would care less about getting me
pregnant, that he was uninterested and underhanded. A time when our
son’s conception had changed the course of my life, but I
believed it didn’t mean it would affect his.

But finally I had
gotten to know Boone, and what I discovered blew my mind. He was so
sweet, so strong, so courageous to have taken his life and turned it
around. I was nearly overwhelmed over being the person who had been
gifted with Boone’s love.

I moved, testing my
level of pain. It wasn’t bad. I was connected to an IV, but it
was on wheels. I glanced at my momma as I cautiously moved to the
edge of the bed. My back protested, but it wasn’t enough to
keep me from getting up. I stood for a moment to get my balance.
Holding onto the IV stand for support, I shuffled forward.

Thankfully the room
number Mrs. Outlaw had told my momma wasn’t far from mine. I
had to see him. Now. I couldn’t wait. Not one more minute. I
pushed his door open and went inside. He was alone. I was so glad. I
made my way slowly to the head of the bed.

My heart contracted
as I watched him sleep. He was lying on his side, one arm tucked
under his head, facing me. He had shoved the pillow aside, and my
heart opened. He’d done that when I had slept with him, and I
felt the intimate connection to this beautiful man. The position of
his arms drew his muscle structure into deep definition, revealing
the even rise and fall of his rib cage. His cheek and torso were
swathed in stark white bandages that stood out in contrast to his
tanned skin. I gazed down at him, a lump forming in my throat,
remorse grabbing a tight hold, along with all the other emotions that
clogged my chest. He didn’t deserve this. He didn’t
deserve this at all.

Compelled, I reached
out and slid my fingers into his soft, hair, brushing it off his
forehead. The touch and feel of him gave me more comfort than I
deserved. He was warm and alive. I thanked God silently.

He shifted in his
sleep, but I couldn’t remove my hand, just stood there sifting
the strands through my fingers. He opened his eyes, a beautiful, dark
electric blue. He blinked and his eyes shuttered and his mouth
tightened. My heart lurched. He had every right to be angry.

He rose, grimacing
briefly at the pain, holding one arm close to his body. He made room
enough for me to sit, and I sat, facing him, settling my back against
his legs. He cupped my knees and brought them fully against him,
grunting a little at the pain. The arm on the injured side of his
body came around me loosely. “Geezus, Verity, you feel so good.
I was so scared.”

I nodded, the darned
tears at it again, clogging my throat so I couldn’t speak.

Finally the painful
tears eased and I looked up as he cradled me against him. He
tightened his hold on me. Gingerly he moved his good arm and lifted
my chin, looking directly into my eyes, his tone soft. “Don’t
start blaming yourself. Put the responsibility where it belongs.
Right at the feet of that fucktard Freeman.”

“If it wasn’t
for me…”

“No, Verity.
He wanted you and he couldn’t have you. That’s his
problem, not yours. I’m just glad I was there.”

I stared up at him,
the sickening feeling of accountability churning over and over in my
stomach. “I’m sorry you got hurt. That seems to be what
happens around me.”

“I don’t
give a damn. I’ll fight a million Billy Joes for you, Verity.
Geezus, I was so scared. I thought…”

I cut off his words
by kissing him, sighing at the feel of his mouth against mine. Boone
was what I needed. The heat of him, the texture of him, the feel of
him responding to me. His lips working me over with such gentle,
heartfelt need. I reached up and pressed my palm against his face,
rasping over the stubble as I rubbed against his jaw. The feel of him
fulfilled a basic, primal need in me.

We eased back.
“Boone. About the pregnancy.”

He met my gaze, his
face tense, and a disturbed expression in his eyes. He stared at me
for a moment, then looked down, the muscles of his jaw flexing.

“Did
you…term—”

“No. No, I
could never do that.”

“Oh, geezus,”
his voice broke, his expression drawn. “So you went to New York
City all alone and pregnant with my kid. Fuck me, Verity. Why didn’t
you try to find me?”

“I tried to
find you! I got stonewalled by your brothers and I was so scared.”

“You didn’t
try hard enough!”

“How would you
know? You weren’t anywhere to be found. And even if I had found
you, what would you have done?”

He stared at me for
a moment and then closed his eyes tight, his hand going to cover
them. “I want to think that I would have stepped up and been
the guy I always tried to be. But, honestly, I just don’t know.
I don’t know,” his voice broke.

“Oh, Boone.
I’m so sorry. Everything is such a terrible mess.”

“Geezus,
Verity, I’m devastated that you had to go through all this by
yourself.”

“Please
forgive me. Please.”

He whispered,
“Darlin’,” with so much warmth and love that tears
threatened again. “I just need to know. Did you not try hard
enough because you thought I was nothing but a fuck-up?”

“No. That’s
not it. I thought you didn’t care and when you didn’t try
to find me the next day, I was so disappointed. I didn’t know
you didn’t remember. Then I missed my period and I knew I was
pregnant.”

“I’m
sorry I wasn’t there for you. I should have been.”

I held his gaze,
trying to convey with my eyes how much I appreciated his response.
I’d been worried for so long about how he would react. His
anger I understood, and I was relieved that he had forgiven me. His
understanding helped to close a large portion of that sucking black
hole in me. Taking his hand, I laced my fingers tightly through his,
my voice breaking as I whispered. “The situation was awful. I
will admit that. I was so, so scared. I did feel all alone. I looked
for you before I left, but I couldn’t find you. I wanted to
tell you, Boone. I wanted you to know.”

Boone exhaled
heavily, looking away from me, his profile set in troubled lines, his
throat working. “I wasn’t there for you. I’ll
always regret that.”

“I have to
confess something more to you.” My voice was treacherously
unsteady when I spoke, my heart pounding. “When I came back to
Suttontowne, I had no intention of telling you about the baby. I was
going to break the news to my parents about how I had skipped out of
the mission and gotten a job as a designer, and then I was leaving. I
was so angry at you for so long.”

“You’ve
already apologized for that, Verity. You got caught in a bad
situation, and there wasn’t a hell of a lot you could do about
it.” He looked away, his hand tightening over mine.

Relief swept through
me, making my heart pound even harder, and I closed my eyes, trying
to manage all my pent-up emotion. I turned into his arms, closing the
physical and emotional distance between us, my fear that he would
blame me or reject me laid to rest. He just drew me more securely
into the curve of his body. Thrown into emotional overload, I sobbed
against his throat, my tears running down his chest.

He held me fast,
pressing his thumb over my cheekbone, brushing away my tears, his
chest expanding heavily. “What happened to the baby? Was it a
boy or a girl?” he asked gruffly.

“Boy,” I
said. “On February 22. That’s his birthday. A beautiful
boy who looked so much like you, Boone. I only got to hold him for
two hours. It still hurts so much.” The emptiness expanded
until my whole chest felt hollow and achy.

“Ah, fuck,”
he said, his voice unsteady, tightening his hold on me. “What
did you name him?”

I bit my lip and
squeezed his hand. “Duel.”

For a minute he just
stared at me, and then his face crumpled and he swallowed hard,
fighting the tears. He whispered, “That’s my middle
name.”

“I know. I
wanted him to have something of you, his daddy.”

His voice ragged, he
said, “You gave him up?”

More tears fell.
This was the hardest part. “Yes. I had to, Boone. I couldn’t
keep him. The adoption agency took care of everything. I chose a
really great couple.”

“You did what
you had to do at the time, Verity. I understand how hard this was for
you.”

The pain and guilt
spread and tangled around me like briars. “I handled it the
best I could. I never expected to fall in love with you, Boone. I
can’t imagine my life without you now.”

“You don’t
have to. Marry me, we’ll get him back and…”

“What?”
I pulled away from him, fear and concern warring inside me, fighting
with the joy at the thought of getting Duel back, but my fear coated
everything in an ugly black. “No, I can’t. If my daddy
ever found out…I couldn’t bear it. The shame…”

“I can’t
turn away from my son, Verity.”

I didn’t know
why this surprised me. After all that I had learned about Boone
Outlaw, I knew courage was one thing he had in spades. “What
are you saying?”

“Now that I
know he exists, I have to go after him. I never gave up my parental
rights. I made a vow that I would never do to my own kid what was
done to me. My daddy left. He left us. I’m
not
abandoning our son. I’m offering you a future with me and our
son, a chance at a family. It’s your choice, Verity. We can
either do this together or I’ll have to do it alone.”