Authors: Lynelle Clark
cabin which housed the best of everything, including fine
whiskey.
Immediately drawn to the gentle giant, the little girl,
spitting image of her mother, accepted him first as a friend,
and then as her new father. Daily Rosa-Lee would seek him
out; with Qonchita always close by and under much
scrutiny of Captain Breno.
†††
September 13, 1621
Again we spent time with Cisco today. Rosa-Lee
simply cannot leave him alone. At first he was reluctant to
encourage her, tending to his work at hand. But her
constant chatter put a smile on his face and by lunch he
talked to her softly. I could see his eyes were always
seeking the captain.
I found Faro with some of the sailors gambling and
it made me uneasy but I said nothing to him and spent my
time with Rosa-Lee.
There are quite a number of people on the ship. I
understand we are three hundred and forty eight people in
all, with slaves numbering two hundred. The Captain told
me it was quite a large number but bragged his vessel was
capable of carrying the load.
With the slaves in confinement in the hold of the
ship the deck is not overcrowded but I wonder how they
fair down there in this heat.
I can only hope that we will be well and that the
Lord's protection will be with us daily.
†††
September 14, 1621
The little girl's continuous chatter and seeking me
out are getting me in trouble. The Captain warned me
today for the final time. He is within his rights of course. As
a sailor I know this. But how can I ignore her? She is a
pleasure to have around. And her mother
(he smiled
thinking of the raven-head)
is gorgeous but I have to keep
my distance. I can see she is interested as well but this
could never be. She is married, a lady of good means. I am
just a sailor. I can offer her nothing.
But I can dream, even if it is futile. I know it is silly
but the feelings she invokes in me make me feel worthy to
love and to dream of a family of my own.
Alfonso warned me that the men are talking, that
they have seen the looks we give each other. I don't want to
bring her trouble. She is too much of a lady for riff-raff to
speak of her in that fashion.
I will have to keep my distance. I should work on
the mast where the little girl cannot find me. I will have to
speak to Tanur tomorrow.
†††
September 15, 1621
Cisco was on the mast today. Never once did he
come down from there to speak with Rosa-Lee. Even when
she called out to him he did not look at her. I could see that
it hurt her but I had to explain to her that he has to do his
work. He is a sailor and cannot spend time with her.
But I do miss him.
Faro tried to talk to us today, but he was drinking
and Rosa-Lee was scared of him. He swayed on his feet, his
eyes bloodshot. I heard there was trouble with the game
and the Captain warned him to be careful around the
sailors.
I saw some of the slaves today. Met a young Indian
girl. Her name is Kayla. We got to talk for a while before
she had to go back into the hold. Rosa-Lee also liked her.
She was very beautiful and several sailors looked at her. I
was uneasy at her common flirting with them while we
talked. In the future I will be careful of her and the
company she keeps.
†††
September 16, 1621
I bumped into the lady today. It was by pure
accident since I keep my distance, but when I touched her I
could not let her go. After the initial shock passed and she
realized who held her she relaxed in my arms. For a few
seconds I could only enjoy the lady in my arms. She fits
perfectly. She is more beautiful up close. I had to struggle
not to kiss her and I could see she wanted me to. That
would be a mistake.
I know it is wrong but I cannot help myself. The
feelings I have for her are growing daily. I will have to
work harder to avoid her as much as possible. A sailor and
a lady are absolutely unsuited. It can never happen.
†††
September 16, 1621
I cannot believe I was in his arms today. He smelled
of the ocean, clean and fresh. He was strong and enormous
in size but I fit perfectly. Those seconds was wonderful, I
wish I could have more. It felt so right, although it was
wrong.
My heart nearly beat out of my chest and I wished
he had kissed me but he was right. It could never happen. I
am a married woman.
There is no future for us.
†††
September 17, 1621
What is that woman up to? Today I walked hand in
hand with Rosa-Lee on the upper deck and Kayla was
there. She spoke with Cisco. My Cisco, her hand on his
arm. Did he welcome it? Oh Please God. Don't let him turn
out to be just another man who wants to bed me, only to
run off again. I cannot take that.
Rosa-Lee wrapped herself around his leg the
moment she saw him. The Captain was not pleased. I saw
the fury raging in his eyes. Then I saw the pleading in
Cisco's eyes before he looked away.
I removed her from him immediately, but that left
him in the presence of Kayla and for some reason the
woman laughed at me. I am a lady of noble birth, my
upbringing beyond approached. Am I now in contest with a
slave?
For the love of a sailor.
†††
September 18, 1621
This day started so well and ended in disaster.
The look in the Captain's eyes said so much. And
then there is the lady. She found me talking to that slave
girl. She merely walked up to me and started to introduce
herself to me while she placed her hand on my arm. She
looked at me as if I were her last hope.
I saw the disappointment, the hurt on the lady's
face. But I could not talk to her. To make matters worse the
little girl refused to let go of me and cried when the mother
took her away. Captain Breno saw everything and his eyes
spit fire.
I have been warned. What will happen tomorrow?
†††
September 19, 1621
Today was an unpleasant day on the ship. The
Captain worked Cisco almost to death. I heard the men
talking. He received no water or food for the day and under
the scorching sun it had to be unbearable. I wanted to offer
him water at least but another sailor stopped me.
Cisco avoided me and Rosa-Lee cried.
The Captain and Faro sneered down at him while
they talked about me, as if I am a common whore. How
could Faro do this to me? I felt so ashamed. Some of the
sailors laughed at me. The man who stopped me asked me
to leave the deck because I would make matters worse for
Cisco. It was hard to leave him there. Tired, thirsty and
lonely.
Rosa-Lee cried once again when I took her below
and when I passed the compartment in the hull where the
slaves were held Kayla laughed openly at me.
I felt betrayed at her actions.
It is all my fault. I cannot give in and make matters
worse for him.
I explained to my four-year-old daughter but I
doubt she understood. She missed Cisco. That was all there
was to it. But I will have to watch her.
I cannot allow him to suffer on account of us.
†††
September 21, 1621
Today Alfonso, Cisco's friend, the man who stopped
me when I wanted to offer him water, helped us to have a
few minutes of privacy on the deck.
It was short but worth it. I simply had to see him. I
had to know if he was okay. The last two days the captain
made him slave away while everyone snickered behind his
back. How could they do this to this man?
He is a gentle, kind and loving man. How could they
treat him like that? But I had to make sure he was okay. I
had to, before I would finally let go of him.
I begged him to kiss me and at first he was hesitant.
I pressed myself against him and turned my face upward,
stretching as high as I could. He was so tall that even if I
stood on my tiptoes I could not reach his face. For a long
minute he fought it. I saw the hesitation, the fight for
control, but eventually he lowered his head and we kissed
for the first time. It was everything I hoped it would be.
That one kiss held promises of a future we both knew was
futile to hope for. But that kiss told me what he felt.
He felt the same. His breath was warm on my face
as his eyes raked over mine. He did not conceal the look of
love as he whispered my name. It all told me that he felt the
same way.
In that few minutes we allowed ourselves the time to
dream, to hope, to love.
I love him. The emotion swept me from my feet, but
I was not startled about it. It was a peace that settled deep
within me and I know that this is the man I have lost my
heart to.
I have no remorse in loving Cisco Almaida
.
†††
September 21, 1621
It was a mistake. I shouldn't have kissed her. But
how can I resist the one woman I truly love? She loves me.
That was the most pleasurable wonderful thing that has
ever happened to me. This lady, a woman of noble birth,
loves me, an ordinary sailor man.
She was worried about me. She kept on repeating
that she would do whatever she could to make my life
easier. But we both know it was a not to be.
Captain Breno is a stern and vicious man. He
seldom listens to anyone. Nor does he take advice from a
woman, even one as highborn as Qonchita.
What a beautiful name. It suites her. In my arms
today she was far from the 'ice queen' others have called
her.
I love her.
†††
September 22, 1621
Rosa-Lee was hard to control today and with all the
strength she had she fought against me to be with Cisco. I
could not blame her. That is where I want to be. In his
arms. I can still feel them around me; still feel the touch of
his lips.
When she got away from me she ran up to him and
held him as if her life depended on it. She refused to let go,
even with gentle urging from him. She cried so loud that it
drew everyone's attention. Captain Breno made it plain he
was not impressed with her innocent display. When I finally
did get her away I pleaded for Cisco's life. I was sure the
vicious man was going to do something to him. But he said
he would not harm his own crew.
I really hoped that was the case. But when I tried to
get Cisco's attention he refused to look at me. I am afraid
for him.
Faro made an attempt after that to console Rosa-
Lee, but she was so scared of him that she sobbed and
panicked to get away. He was not pleased about her open