A Place in the Country (15 page)

Maggie closed her eyes, not wanting to believe it. “But how could he do that?
How could he?
When his daughter loves him so much.”

Jesus put his arm round her as they sat, wondering how best to deal with it.

“We'll tell Caroline together,” he decided finally. “We'll have to get the girls out of school. You must call, explain there's been a tragedy.”

“And then we'll have to tell Issy.”

Jesus said, “No. Her mother will have to do that. God help her,” he added.

 

chapter 33

Caroline was in her new kitchen,
hanging a battered array of skillets on the overhead rack when she heard tires on the gravel, then car doors slamming. She glanced at the old wood-framed clock that took up most of one wall. It had been rescued years ago when a small local railway station had closed down, and rescued a second time by Caroline from a local junk shop. She saw it was not yet twelve. Too early for visitors. Was she expecting a delivery?

She hurried into the hall and poked her head out of the door, surprised to see both Jesus and Maggie. They stood there, just looking at her, not even saying hello. Jesus was holding Maggie's hand. A wave of foreboding swept through her.

“It's not the girls,” Maggie told her quickly.

Relieved, Caroline sank onto the bottom step. “Thank God,” she said.

Maggie came and sat beside her. “There's no way to pretend this isn't bad news,” she said quietly. “It's terrible news, and I want you to try to be brave, for your daughter's sake.”

Caroline knew it must be about James; she felt it in her bones. “It's James, isn't it?” she said.

Maggie put an arm round her shoulder and Jesus came and kneeled in front of her. He said, “He's dead, Caroline. Mark didn't want to break the news to you over the phone. He asked us to tell you, so we could be there for you.”

Caroline closed her eyes, shutting herself into her own interior space. Her past was suddenly overlaid with a present so terrible it was hard to comprehend. She buried her head in her hands as tears sprang from her eyes, enormous tears, shooting through her fingers, trickling down her arms.

Maggie had tissues ready. She handed her a wad. “Cry,” she said. “That's what you are supposed to do.”

“I've cried so much over this man.
So much!
And now he's dead.” She lifted her head and looked at them. “What happened?”

“It was suicide,” Jesus said. “James shot himself.”

Her face went slack with shock. “It's my fault,” she said. “He came to me for help and I turned him away. Oh God, don't you see,
it's all my fault!
”

“It's nobody ‘fault' when someone chooses to end their life,” Maggie said firmly. “You have to remember that. James made his choice. It had nothing to do with you. It was all to do with him.”

“I've heard,” Jesus added, “that whenever something like this happens, those left behind suffer from guilt. You did not make that terrible decision, Caroline. James did.”

She rocked backwards and forwards, her face buried in her hands again. “
Oh, God, oh, God,
” she wailed. “I have to tell Issy her father is dead … I have to tell her he killed himself.”

The two of them looked at her, there was nothing they could do. James had left Caroline one last responsibility.

“I'll go to pick up the girls,” Jesus told her. “I already called the school, they'll be expecting me.”

“We'd better lock up here and get along home.” Maggie stroked back Caroline's hair. “I'll help you,
amiga,
I'm here for you. Come, I will drive you home. You can call Mark later. Let him tell you exactly what happened. Meanwhile, you must simply tell Issy her father died. Later when you know exactly what happened you can tell her the truth.”

Caroline got in the car with Maggie and they drove back to the pub. In the space of about five minutes, her whole world had changed. She thought that
not
loving someone anymore, did not mean you would not feel grief when they died, that you would not remember the good times when your love was new, and all the old regrets. And the guilt for not helping James out when he'd come to tell her he was in trouble. She had failed James. And now he was dead. How was she ever going to admit that to her daughter?

 

chapter 34

Caroline needed to speak
to Mark, find out what really happened. When she called he answered on the first ring.

“I'm sorry to be the bearer of such terrible news,” he said. “And I'm even more sorry not to be able to tell you in person. I had to break the news via the phone because I was sure it would hit the media before I could get to you.”

He told her about James's visit and what he had said. “I should have realized how drunk he was, how much in despair. I know now, I shouldn't have let him go like that. He must have come back, later, looking for me.”

“
Tell me everything,
” she demanded, tearfully. “I have to know
everything.
”

So he told her how he had found James and called the police. “It was odd,” he said. “James had tied a Hermès silk scarf around his head before he did it. He must have had it in the bag he'd brought on board. I think he was concerned he would mess up my boat and the scarf would stop the mess. You know how neat a man James was,” he added. “Besides he knew how much I loved my boat. He was a decent man at heart, he'd just lost his way, that's all.”

Caroline's brain was processing the images: the Hermès silk scarf; the gun; the bloody mess. Oddly, she didn't remember James as being neat. He was a man who left his clothes where he'd stepped out of them, and always left the bathroom a wreck. Strange, he should become so neat when he was about to die.

“James told me he never stole clients' money,” she told Mark. “He said he was innocent.”

“I hope he was.”

Caroline hoped so too, for her daughter's sake.

“Of course, Issy and I will come for the funeral,” she said. The very word “funeral” almost choked her.

“There's to be an autopsy first, then I'll have James flown home to Singapore for burial.”

Poor James, he's finally out of the hands of Gayle Lee,
Caroline thought.

“It'll take a few days,” Mark said. “And please, Caroline, tell Issy I love her.”

“I will.”

“And Caroline?”

“Yes?”

“Remember, I love you too.”

“I will,” she promised.

 

chapter 35

Issy was bored
to tears in the middle of an algebra class, trying to make sense of the hieroglyphs. She was surprised when the Headmistress's assistant knocked on the door and went immediately to whisper in the ear of the math teacher, who nodded, then looked at her class.

“Sorry for the interruption,” she said, “but will Isabel Evans and Samantha Gonzalez please go at once to the Head's study.”

The two quickly gathered up their stuff, aware of the speculative whispering behind them.

“What have we done?” Issy whispered, worried, as they walked across the hall to the study. But then she saw Jesus standing there.

“Something terrible has happened,” she said, grabbing Sam's hand.

“Everyone is fine,” Jesus said, but he didn't tell them why he was there, and why he was taking them home.

The two of them sat silently in the back of the car. The drive home had never seemed so long. Caroline and Maggie were waiting for them in the kitchen.

“Your mother has something to tell you,” Maggie said to Issy. “Come with me, Sam.”

Caroline went and put her arms around Issy. “I'm afraid it's your father,” she said.

Issy felt the blood drain from her face, her spine felt hot, her knees trembled. “What are you saying! He's dead, isn't he? You're telling me my dad is dead.
Why
is he dead? How could he go and die?” She was waving her arms in the air, screaming, she couldn't even catch her breath. The others heard and came running.

“He
can't
be dead
. He will not be dead,
” she yelled.
“He's my father…”

Her mother put her arms round her but she broke free. “
How
did it happen?
What
happened to him?”

“Sweetheart,” Caroline said gently, “your father wanted to die. It was his choice.”

Issy stopped yelling, staring at her mother, stunned. “Are you saying my father
killed himself
? My
father, James Evans
? How did
my father
do that, if you don't mind me asking? Did he hang himself? Drown?
What
?”

Caroline shook her head, numb, unable to say.

It was Jesus who finally told her, “Issy, your father decided it was time to go. He had a gun. It was what he wanted. You must remember that. And always remember, he loved you.”

Issy stared at him, shocked, then she swung round and faced her mother again. “If you had not left him,” she said, ominously, quietly. “If you had not taken me away, my father would still be alive. Anyway, I don't believe he killed himself.” She was yelling again, angry now. “He would never,
ever,
kill himself. He would not have left me, all alone. He
really
loved me, you know that?”

“I do, oh, I do,” Caroline said. “But he was in terrible, financial trouble. Money was missing, your father was suspected, he told me so himself…”

“Caroline!” Just in time Maggie stopped her from telling Issy her father had been there and had not gone to see her.

“Someone's blaming my dad for it then,” Issy went on. “Someone took that money and said it was him. Someone who hates him, someone who's jealous of him because he's … oh, because of
who he is.
”

She looked at them all, standing there looking numbly back at her.

“Someone murdered my father,” she said.

 

chapter 36

A few hours later,
Caroline was in the kitchen with Maggie, Jesus, and Sarah. She had sunk two brandies and her hands had stopped shaking. The doctor had been called and Issy was now sleeping with the aid of a sedative. Sam and Blind Brenda were with her.

Maggie had taken charge of Caroline's laptop and any messages because Caroline had said she was no longer capable of thinking straight. All Caroline knew was they were going to James's funeral, and had to get to Singapore immediately.

Jesus had brewed his extra-strong coffee and now he served it in mugs dolloped with cream and thick with sugar, for energy. Sarah was at the sink rinsing dishes and piling them into the dishwasher, which she was reluctant to switch on because of the noise. Everything was very quiet. Nobody was speaking, everybody thinking. Then Little Billy gave a loud imperious squawk for attention making them all jump.

Little Billy's yelling seemed to bring Caroline back to life. She said, “She's quite wrong of course.”

Jesus set another mug of coffee in front of her, wondering what she meant.

“Issy, I mean. She's wrong. James
did
do it. He
did
kill himself. He was in trouble and saw no way out.
He
told me so, and
Mark
told me so.”

“Anyway, why would anybody else
want
to kill him?” Maggie asked.

“There's a woman involved.”

“Jealousy.” Jesus took the chair next to Caroline's and pushed the mug closer to her hand. “Drink,” he said. “You'll feel stronger.”

“You mean Gayle Lee Chen?” Maggie didn't sound too surprised. From what she'd heard the woman was a ruthless bitch and capable of anything.

Sarah picked up Little Billy and came and sat at the table. She was part of this little family; they worked together, they were chums, companions on the road of life. Little Billy, who was nine months old now, snuggled, still yelling into the crook of her skinny arm, and she shoved a bottle into his mouth, shutting him up instantly.

“Caroline,” she said, and Caroline turned to look at her. “Are you sure you want Issy to go to the funeral?” Sarah had seen how hysterical Issy was, crazy enough even to think James had been murdered.

“She has to say goodbye to her father,” Caroline said, wearily because she'd thought over the same problem endlessly in the past few hours.

“Issy must go to the funeral,” Maggie said. “She has to see it all, maybe then she'll be able to let go.” She glanced at the laptop as a message flashed onto the screen.

“It's Mark,” she told them. “He's sending tickets, Singapore Air, leaving day after tomorrow. He's sending us
all
tickets, he wants Jesus and me and Sam to go with you.”

Caroline thanked God—and Mark. The thought of all those hours on a plane with her distraught daughter had been worrying her.

“Of course I can't leave the pub,” Jesus said.

“Yes you can.” Sarah shifted Little Billy from one arm to the other, ruffling his silken blond hair. “I'll come in for you. I can do it, Lord knows I've been here long enough to know how. And there's always my mom to help.”

The three of them looked at her, surprised.

“I have a family,” she said defensively. “They just dumped me when I got pregnant without the benefit.”

“Without what benefit?” Maggie asked.

“Of being married first, of course. Or even being married after.” Sarah was comfortable with her single-mom status and no longer cared what anybody thought.

“I know you're a good mother,” she said now to Caroline. “You shouldn't take to heart what your kid said. Lord knows, I've said a few things to my own mom that I wish I could take back. When you're upset that's just the way it is. Kids strike out at you. Little Billy's gonna do that to me, one day, I expect.”