A Place in the Country (33 page)

Cassandra was behind the bar wearing a black low-cut V-necked dress that could only be called a “barmaid outfit.” She was leaning on one elbow as she pushed a pint across to a very interested older man, a widower whom Caroline recognized, and who she knew lived in the Old Rectory with a married daughter and her husband and small child.

They were so caught up in their conversation her mother didn't even notice them, until Issy yelled, “Here I am,” and almost galloped across the room and into her grandmother's welcoming arms.

Cassandra kissed her and said, “Get out of this bar, you're not allowed in here,” gave her a pat on the rear and walked over to greet her own daughter, while Issy ran off to see Sam.

“You look tired,” she said, holding her at arm's length for an inspection, the way she had ever since Caroline was a little girl. “But wonderful,” she added. “As though everything is right in your world. Is it now?”

Caroline nodded. “Yes, I think so. Our world seems pretty good to me right now.”

Maggie came out from the kitchen. “I missed you,” she said. “And I wasn't the only one.”

She gave Caroline a meaningful smile but Caroline pretended not to know what she meant and they both laughed. The regulars in the pub waved hello and even Frisky ambled over for a pat and a sniff. Then Georgki came in with the bags, and then they went into the kitchen where Jesus got the wine open and Sarah wanted to show her the pies she'd made. She would be moving into the cottage tomorrow, if that was all right with Caroline. Blind Brenda went and sat on the table in the middle of everything, then Little Billy gave a wail, seeking attention which he got immediately from both Issy and Sam, and Caroline thanked God Lily was not there tonight to drop plates.

It was, though, she thought, almost perfect.

 

chapter 78

Everybody's heads turned later,
when Jim walked in, all except the dog Frisky, whose head stayed on its paws, though it did lift an eyelid to check him out. Jim stopped to give it a pat, said good evening to the other customers, and ordered half a bitter from Cassandra at the bar. He bought a chicken taco and threw it for the dog, who caught it in one lightning move, chomped, swallowed, and settled back down, head on paws again. There was a round of applause and laughter and Jim took a bow.

“Hi,” he said to Cassandra. “I saw Georgki's Hummer outside, thought the travelers must be back by now.”

“They are, and I'll bet
you're
glad.” Cassandra pulled his beer gently so the foam could subside.

“What makes you think that?”

She shoved the beer across the counter and gave him a steady look that meant she knew what she was talking about. “Just you be careful with her,” she warned, but she was smiling as she said it and Jim breathed again.

He was in love with Caroline; he had not stopped thinking about her; he was enraptured with her, for want of a better word … actually
enraptured
was a very good word, it described exactly the way he felt. He was under some kind of spell.

Cassandra said, “Caroline's in the kitchen. It's a bit crowded in there so I'll go get her.”

She disappeared through the swing door and minutes later Jesus emerged and took over the bar. He and Jim said hello and passed the usual time about the weather and business, then the door swung open and there Caroline was.

“Hi,” she said. Jim thought it was the most wonderful word he'd ever heard.

“Hi, yourself,” he replied, as she came closer. So close he could smell her perfume. “What is that?” he asked, nuzzling her neck.

“It's called So Pretty,” she told him and he said he agreed
she
was. “Can I give you a lift home?” he asked, still not taking his eyes off hers.

“What about your beer?” She saw he had hardly touched it.

He shook his head, it didn't matter.

He held out his hand and she took it.

They didn't even notice the curious glances that followed them all the way to the door and missed the buzz of interested speculation about them afterwards. Anyway, they wouldn't have cared.

Caroline sat demurely next to Jim while he drove. They barely spoke, only a quick question from him about her trip and her answer that she was exhausted.

He drove past the manor and down the lane and she was home. Cassandra had seen to it that lights were left on and the old barn looked squat, solid and welcoming, settled in by the river.

“It looks like home,” Caroline said, making no move to get out.

“I don't suppose you'd feel like a walk?” he said. “There's a full moon. My grandfather used to call this a ‘bombers' moon' in World War Two, not that they had many bombers this far from London.”

Caroline turned to look at him thinking she knew so little about him; about his family; who he
really
was. What she did know was, he was only twenty-seven and single, and she was thirty-eight going on -nine, married, divorced, and with a child. She told herself this could go nowhere, and that it should
not
go anywhere. But she still said, “I'd love to go for a walk, get some fresh air.”

Jim hurried round to open the truck's door. He put his hands on her waist to help her jump down, sliding them up over her rib cage, holding her steady. Electricity, that sparkle Caroline had always looked for, flashed between them. They stood for a second, eyes linked; he let go and took her hand.

“The river's beautiful in the moonlight,” he told her. “We used to come and swim here when we were kids, there's a little tributary that forms a pool, deep enough to dive in off the rocks.”

“Scary,” Caroline said with a shiver that made him want to put his arm round her again. “I hate all those weeds that float and reach out to entangle you.”

“I promise not to allow them to entangle you.”

They took the path that led from her terrace along the riverbank, disturbing a duck, that set off a racket of quacking, then there was only the rustle of their feet on the grass, the run of the river, somewhere a cow coughed.

They stopped and took off their shoes and walked barefoot until they came to the pool. Dark and smooth, it glimmered in the moonlight.

Jim led her onto the grassy bank above the pool. He said, “Come, let's sit here.”

Caroline eyed the grass dubiously. “Do you think the cows were here?”

Jim laughed, delighted. “I didn't know you were that practical,” he said, pulling her down with him. “No cows have ever been here, this is virgin territory.”

Caroline thought if anyone felt “like a virgin” it was her. Madonna certainly knew what she was talking about, and she'd bet Madonna would not have been able to resist Jim's arms pulling her to him, nor his mouth covering hers in a long kiss, the kind of kiss she had kept in her memory because she'd told herself she would never feel it again.
Liar,
she told herself now.
Oh wonderful, wonderful liar.

“I'm too old for this,” she told him when he lifted his face from hers.

“Too old for what?” He was unbuttoning her shirt and she was letting him … so much for all the sex talks she had just given Issy, the condoms and the cucumbers, and about her head being involved as well as her body. Had she even mentioned anything about the heart? Hers was thundering as Jim slid her arms out of the sleeves, then took off his own shirt and wrapped her in a close embrace.

Caroline ran a hand down his back, she could feel the ridges of his muscles, the smoothness of his skin. His hands were on her breasts, his mouth so tender as he took her nipples, she flung back her head and allowed the moment to take her. Then she was lying on her back in the cool grass and his body was covering hers and he was kissing her again.

He held himself up on his arms to look at her. “You're beautiful, you know that,” he said. “Lovely. And I'm in love with you.”

She wondered, Did
in love with her
mean the same as
I love you
?

“I'm
enraptured
by you,” he added, making her laugh.

“And I'm enraptured by you,” she said, “I must be, just look at me lying on my back, half naked in the grass, out in the open air…”

“Let's try for full naked,” he said.

Caroline hadn't remembered she could get out of her clothes so quickly, and anyhow thanked heaven for the forgiving moonlight. She was nervous about him looking at her body.

“You have a wonderful bottom,” he said, cupping it in both hands. “
Wonderful.
” He opened her legs, put his hand there, and heard her moan. “Like a flower,” he said, touching her, bending his head over her. “It's like unfolding rose petals.”

Caroline lay on her back, staring up at the stars and then the stars were exploding; she was in another world, one she half-remembered, but now thought heaven must be something like this. “Heaven,” she murmured later, in between kisses. “Tell me this is what heaven is like.”

*   *   *

Had she made love
for hours? she asked herself a long time later. She had fallen asleep in his arms at some point, and then woken up “enraptured” again? It didn't seem to matter; he was a wonderful lover—an indefatigable
young
lover, she reminded herself. And she was the older woman whose body still tingled with the remembered pleasure of the feel of him hard inside her.

They were lying side by side on the grass, holding hands. The moon was a lot lower in the sky than it had been.

Jim sat up and looked at her. Uncomfortable, she crossed her arms over her breasts which left the rest of her exposed and she giggled, not quite knowing what to do.

“You don't have to cover up,” he said. “I've seen everything.” He laughed as he stood up, naked and so goddamn sleekly beautiful with his tight muscular body she wanted him all over again. “Let's go for that swim,” he said, pulling her up.

“But the weeds,” Caroline protested.

“There are no weeds, and if there were I would save you from them.”

He stood posed at the edge, then dived in. Without a second's more thought, she followed him. She cried out, the pool was icy … delicious. They swam side by side across and back again.

“Happy?” Jim asked, taking her in his arms under the water.

“Happy,” she agreed. After all, life was meant to be lived in the moment. Wasn't it?

 

chapter 79

That same night,
back at the Star & Plough, Issy and Sam lay in bed talking with the lights out and Blind Brenda making her purr sound, curled between their pillows. The curtains were open and so was the window and moonlight poured in, along with a warm breeze.

“Missed you,” Sam said.

“Missed you too,” Issy said.

“I missed you more.”

“You did not!”

They laughed and the cat, disturbed, swatted at them.

“Ow.” Issy rubbed her head. “I'd forgotten how touchy she is.”

Sam said, “I heard that guy Alex is going out with a girl from St. Mary's.”

Issy knew the school she was talking about. “She must be older then,” she said. “At least eighteen.” She thought about the night of her party and her talk with her mother, and felt thankful for her reprieve. “He's just some guy,” she said, forgiving Alex for coming on to her, because after all she had met him halfway. “He needs an older woman.”

Sam giggled and told her some more gossip about their school friends. It was so comfortable, so homey, so back-where-she-belonged, Issy almost forgot about Singapore and Asia.

“She's such a nice little kid,” she said suddenly to Sam.

She had no need to explain what she really meant; they always knew what the other was talking about, sort of like texting.

“Little
sister,
you mean,” Sam corrected her, leaning on an elbow to look at her friend. “I was worried when you were gone, I thought you'd be jealous, I mean about your father going off with somebody else and having Asia.”

“She's nice and so's her mother Melanie.” Issy didn't say “my father's lover” but she thought about it and was glad Caroline had told her how much she and her father had loved each other when
she
was born.

“It's over about my dad and her, at least for me it is. I won't think about it so much anymore. And at least I have a sister.”

“And a friend,” Sam said. Issy thought she sounded a little bit jealous. She took her hand to make sure she was all right. Blind Brenda was jealous too, and pushed her way from the pillows and stretched lengthways in between them.

“If Blind Brenda were fatter she'd look like one of those plush pajama cases you zip up the belly,” Sam said, making them giggle.

But then Issy fell silent, thinking about her mother, and the barn and the restaurant plans. Caroline was getting old, she'd be thirty-nine next birthday, and still struggling to get her life in order. Alone. Dreaming her dreams with no one to help her. Well, only Cassandra and Grandpa but they lived in France and would soon go back there. It was as though things suddenly went into reverse in Issy's mind and she knew that instead of her mother always looking after
her,
it was now her responsibility to look after Caroline, to help her, make sure she was all right, and that she was never “alone.”

“I really have to go home,” she said to Sam, meaning the barn.

“I wondered when you'd come around to it.” Sam leaned on her elbow again, looking at her. “I'll miss you,” she said.

“I'll miss you more.”

“No you won't.”

They collapsed into giggles and Blind Brenda swatted at them again, making them laugh even more.

 

chapter 80

The next morning
Caroline woke in her own bed. They had walked back along that riverside path, barefoot, holding hands, dazed with sexual longing, touching, affectionate, stopping to kiss. Light kisses though; nothing too passionate, they were too worn out. At least Caroline was. Fatigue had hit her hard; Singapore; the meeting with Asia's mother; the long-haul flight back … the empty barn … and her overwhelming desire for Jim Thompson, he of the lovely body and sensual mouth that knew exactly what to do with her. He'd begged to be allowed to stay, to sleep with her, wake with her in his arms but she couldn't let him. She had to think of her daughter, as well as her reputation.