A Place of His Own (11 page)

The corner of his mouth lifted. “You're stubborn, you know that?”

“I prefer ‘persistent.'”

He chuckled. “At least that part of you hasn't changed.”

“And what part of me has?”

As soon as she asked the question, she wanted to take it back. It might have been okay to ask such a thing when they were kids, but wholly inappropriate now that they were adults. Still, she held her breath as she waited for him to answer.

“Mandy . . .” His voice, barely above a whisper, sent pleasant waves through her body.

“Amanda! Amanda!”

She whirled around at the sound of Rachel's panicked calls. “In here!” She dashed out of the barn, barely aware of Josiah following closely behind.

Rachel ran to Amanda, the black strings of her
kapp
flying behind her. “It's
Mamm
,” she said, taking a big gulp of air, her eyes filled with fright. “There's something . . . wrong.” She burst into tears.

Amanda put her arms around her sister's shoulders, fighting the alarm rising inside her. “Let's
geh
,” she said, and they rushed to the house. When they burst through the kitchen door, Amanda put a hand to her mouth, her resolve to keep calm abandoning her.

Her mother lay on the floor, unmoving.

Chapter Nine

JOSIAH BLANCHED AS HE ENTERED THE KITCHEN AND SAW Katharine Graber lying on the floor, apparently unconscious. From the large size of her swollen belly, she looked far into her pregnancy. A very young boy sat next to her, confusion on his round face.

Amanda ran to Katharine's side and knelt down near her head. “
Mamm! Mamm
, can you hear me?”

“What's wrong with
Mammi
?” Rachel asked, her voice heavy with tears.

At this point several more children came into the kitchen and started hovering over their mother. They crowded closer to Amanda and peppered her with questions.

“Rachel, Hannah,” Amanda said as she looked up, her voice barely controlled. “Take the
kinder
upstairs until I tell you to come back down.”

The girls nodded and rounded everyone up. Amid the younger children's protests, they departed the kitchen, leaving Amanda and Josiah alone with her mother.

“
Mamm
,” Amanda said, taking her mother's hand. “Please,
Mamm
. Wake up.”

Josiah came around the other side. Just as he started to kneel down, Katharine opened her eyes.

“Amanda?” Her eyelids fluttered.

Amanda's shoulders slumped with relief. “How do you feel?” she asked, still holding her hand.

“Okay,” Katharine replied, trying to sit up. She looked pale, but otherwise fine. “I guess I must have fainted. One minute I was standing near the stove, the next I'm looking at you.”

Amanda put her other arm around Katharine's shoulders and tried to assist her. “You need to lie down on the couch.”

Seeing Amanda struggle to help her mother spurred Josiah into action. He crouched down and assisted Katharine to her feet.

“
Danki
, Josiah.”

He nodded and put a supporting arm lightly around Katharine's shoulders as Amanda left the room. By the time he and Katharine reached the couch, she had returned with a damp white washcloth.

“Honestly, I'm fine.” Katharine waved off Amanda's offer of a cold cloth and sat down. She shifted awkwardly on the couch until she settled in a lying down position, smoothing out the skirt of her plum-colored dress. “I just got a little light-headed, that's all. I don't think I drank enough water today, and it's warm in the kitchen.”

Standing next to Amanda in the Grabers' living room, Josiah was sent back into the past. The interior of the house hadn't changed much over the years, and he clearly remembered the light blue, rosebud-covered couch Katharine lay on now. He looked down at her, glad to see some color return to her cheeks.

When he'd entered the kitchen with Amanda and Rachel and seen her lying motionless, a stab of terror had gone through him. His own
mamm
had passed away in a hospital, and that had been traumatic enough. He imagined how frightened the young children were to see their mother lying on the floor.

“
Mamm
, please, just put this on your head for a minute.” Amanda placed the washcloth on Katharine's forehead. “You might have gotten overheated too. This will help cool you off.”

“All right.” Katharine leaned back and closed her eyes, holding the cloth against her forehead. “Where are the
kinder
?”

“I sent them upstairs with Hannah and Rachel.”

Katharine opened her eyes, revealing her regret and concern. “I bet they're scared to death. Tell them to come downstairs so I can tell them I'm all right.”

“But I don't want to leave you. I'm sure Rachel and Hannah are letting them know everything's okay.”

“Amanda, nothing is more reassuring than hearing a mother's voice, especially to a young
kind
. Now, I told you I'm fine. I don't feel dizzy anymore, and certainly nothing is going to happen to me on this couch if I'm alone for five seconds.”

“But—”

“I'll get them,” Josiah said. “You stay with your
mamm
.”

“Danki,”
Amanda said, giving him a grateful glance.

As a child Josiah had visited the Grabers so many times he knew their house as well as his own. He went down the short hallway to the staircase, then took the stairs two at a time. He'd made it halfway up when he heard the children's murmurs, although he couldn't make out what they were saying.

There were three bedrooms upstairs. He followed their voices to the room at the end of the hall, the heels of his shoes clomping against the wooden floor. The door was partially open, but he knocked anyway.

A girl answered the door, one he hadn't met before. Hannah, he assumed. Like Amanda and Thomas, she had bright hazel eyes and light brown hair. Right now those eyes were filled with anxiety, even though he could tell she was trying valiantly to keep her composure.

“Did
Mamm
say we could come downstairs now?” she asked. Hannah wore a prayer
kapp
, black in color to symbolize that she was under age sixteen. She tugged on one of the ribbons as she spoke.

“
Ya
, your
mamm
wants to see you.” Josiah peeked inside the small room, taking in the two single beds on opposite walls, which were painted a light green color. A faceless Amish doll lay on one bed, while the other was covered with a brightly patterned quilt in pinks and blues.

Rachel sat on one bed, holding a young boy in her lap. The child was sucking his thumb and trying to squirm out of his sister's arms, but he wore a playful expression. Fortunately he seemed unaware of what had happened to his mother. Another boy, the one Josiah had seen by Katharine when she fainted, sat on the floor moving a small wooden train engine back and forth over the circular rag area rug. He looked to be a couple of years older than the toddler but younger than Thomas. He, too, appeared oblivious of the worry shared by his siblings.

Andrew and Thomas sat on the other bed, the one with the colorful quilt. Andrew wouldn't look at Josiah, and he didn't blame him. Somehow he had to make it up to the boy. But Thomas caught his gaze, scooted off the bed, and walked over to him.

“Is
Mamm
gonna die, Mr. Josiah?”

Pain lanced him. He had been only a few years older when he'd asked his father that same question, after seeing his mother at the hospital for the last time. His
daed
had refused to answer him, just stared straight ahead, his face blank. From that day forward his father only had two expressions: blankness and fury.

Josiah shook his head, clearing his mind of the memory. Kneeling down in front of him, Josiah said, “
Nee,
Thomas. Your
mamm
is gonna be fine. She wants all of you to come downstairs so she can tell you that she's all right.”

The anxiety melted from Thomas's face. “
Danki
, Mr. Josiah. I was really scared.”

“We all were,” Rachel added, letting the toddler down from her lap.

What did Amanda say his name was? Jacob, that's right. As Josiah stood, Jacob came over to him with arms outstretched. Josiah stared at him, unsure what to do.

“He wants you to hold him,” Hannah said, smiling. As with Thomas, the tension seemed to have drained from her body. “That's a
gut
thing, as he normally doesn't take to strangers.”

Josiah lifted the boy, who couldn't have weighed more than thirty pounds. He looked at his face for a moment, noticing a small smear of something above his lip. Chocolate, maybe. He didn't know much about kids, and even less about babies and toddlers. Was this child even old enough to eat chocolate?

“Christopher,” Hannah said, holding out her hand to the young boy playing on the rug. “Let's go see
Mamm
. She's feeling better now.”

Without a word Christopher stood up, his train engine clutched to his chest. They all filed past Josiah, including Andrew, who still didn't look at him.

Josiah turned and followed the children, carrying Jacob downstairs.

“Mammi!”
He heard Christopher's high-pitched voice as he rounded the corner. By the time he reached the living room with Jacob, the children were seated on the floor in front of Katharine. Amanda knelt beside the couch, near her mother's head. She removed the rag as Katharine moved to sit up.

“You should lie back down,” Amanda said, sounding more like Katharine's mother than her daughter.

“
Nee
, I don't need to.” She looked at Amanda, her blue eyes reassuring. “The same thing happened to me when I was pregnant with you, Mandy. It was on a Saturday, and your
daed
was here at the time, which was a
gut
thing. I about scared him to death, too, but it never happened again. Not until today.” She smiled. “I promise, I'm all right.” She looked at the children, her gaze landing on each of them briefly, individually reassuring them that she was fine. Then she glanced around. “Where's Jacob?”

“He's right here.” Josiah walked farther into the room. But when he tried to hand Jacob to his mother, the little boy grabbed hold of Josiah's suspenders. Gently Josiah extracted the child's small hand from the black strap and set him on the ground. The boy immediately toddled to his mother, putting the index finger of his right hand into his mouth.

Amanda intercepted him and set him on her lap. “
Mamm
needs her rest, Jacob,” she said, her voice low and soft. “She can hold you later.”

Josiah stood in the middle of the room, watching the scene before him, feeling like an interloper. His arms felt empty after he had released Jacob, and jealousy stabbed at him as he surveyed the family gathered together. The love they all had for each other flowed throughout the room.

Fortunately the children all seemed all right. A little shaken up, but they appeared to take Katharine's reassurances to heart and had already started getting fidgety.

“Can we go outside now,
Mamm
?” Andrew asked, rocking back and forth on his knees. Josiah could relate to his desire to be outside.

“Sure,” Katharine said with a laugh. “Why don't you all go outside and play a bit. It would be shameful to waste the fresh air. Hannah, do you mind taking Jacob?”

Hannah picked up her youngest brother from Amanda's lap and led him out of the living room. The rest of the children all scrambled off the floor and headed outside, leaving Josiah and Amanda with Katharine.

“I'll have lunch ready in about an hour,” Katharine called out after them.

“I'll prepare lunch,
Mamm
.” Amanda rose from her seated position on the floor. “You'll stay here and rest.”

Katharine nodded, leaning back against one of the small pillows that matched the pattern of the couch. “I'm not going to argue with you. I do feel tired.” At Amanda's look of alarm, she added, “But I'm
fine
. I will admit, though, that this
boppli
is taking more out of me than the other
kinder
did.” She let out a chuckle. “Guess that's what happens when you get old.”

“You're not old,
Mamm
.”

“You're sweet to say that. But I'm getting there, that's for sure.”

Not wanting to eavesdrop on the conversation more than he already had, Josiah turned to leave, grimacing when the floorboard squeaked beneath the heel of his shoe.

“Josiah?”

He turned at the sound of Katharine's voice.
“Ya?”

“
Danki
for your help. You don't have to leave just yet. Please join us for lunch.”

“I'm sorry, but I can't. I have a lot of work to do at the house. But I appreciate the offer.”

“All right. Just know, Josiah, that you're always welcome here. Anytime. We're glad you've come back.”

Josiah nodded as he met her gaze, then left the room.

“I know you're in a hurry to get back to work,” Amanda said to him as they entered the kitchen. “But I want you to know how thankful I am that you were here to help me with
Mamm
. I don't know what I would have done . . . I couldn't have lifted her . . .” Her lower lip trembled.

Something broke inside of Josiah as he saw tears form in Amanda's eyes. Only now did she reveal how truly scared she had been for her mother. Then he remembered her encounter with Peter, and his heart went out to her. She'd had a rough morning. As one tear slid out of the corner of her eye, he couldn't resist wiping it from her cheek with the side of his thumb. At the sound of her soft sigh, he snatched his hand back, regaining his senses.

He cleared his throat, thrusting his hands into his pockets. “Glad I was here. I'll see you later.” He paused, remembering he had to take care of something first. “I need to set things right with your brothers. Would it be okay if they helped me out for a few more days? If they get bored or tired of the work, I'll send them back home.”