A Promised Fate (11 page)

“Morning, Fauna.” My knuckles rapped on the top of my
assistant’s desk.

“Ohh!” she wailed. “Don’t do that! You’re gonna make
me cry!”

“Oh, right last day, huh? You know
you don’t
have
to
leave. They haven’t hired anyone to replace you yet. We can pretend
this whole resignation thing never happened.”

“I do have to leave. And, yes, they have hired my
replacement.”

“Oh? News to me.”

“You said you wanted to stay out of the hiring
process remember?”

“Yeah, but that was when I was in a bad mood. Things
I say when I am in a bad mood don’t count -- you know that.”

“Well, it’s too late. Yvette offered some woman the
position and she accepted. She is relocating and everything.”

“Do you know anything about this person?”

“No. You’re the one who met her. Remember?”

“Did I?”

“She starts Monday, you can figure it all out
then.”

“Monday? That fast?”

Fauna held up her palms and shrugged.

“Ok, so what’s on my agenda for your last day?”

She rattled off a page-long list of meetings and
conference calls I would have to endure and I barely listened as I
backpedaled away to my office.

My morning was spent holed away and I bored myself
near to tears by settling more contracts and paying travel
expenses. I finally cut myself a well overdue overtime check and
then sat in the longest conference call meeting of my life. In the
meeting, I gave a quick five-minute chat concerning some figures
and then put myself on mute. While I resisted the urge to bang my
head on the desk, I pulled up my email to check my messages. Three
missed calls from my mother and two from August.

The conference call ended and the real work
began.

“Oh! So you
are
alive!”

“Hi, Ma.”

“Ari!” She whined and I could hear her stomp her foot
on her kitchen floor at the same time.

“Ma!” I mimicked her whiny noise and playfully
thumped my fist on my desk.

“You didn’t come by the house on Sunday -- I made
your favorite dinner and everything. You haven’t stopped by to say
hello once this week. I left several messages for you with Fauna.
Does that girl ever tell you that I call? Hopefully, the next girl
knows how to use a pen and a pad of paper.”

“I get all of my messages.”

“So you just choose to ignore me then!?”

“Now you’re catching on…”

“Ari!” She whined again and I leaned back in my chair
in preparation for a long, drawn-out conversation about the
weather, or my father’s poor eating habits, or how she spotted Max
wearing a wrinkly shirt and how she can’t image why Ava won’t ever
iron.

“I went with Ava to her doctor’s appointment today.”
She said.

“That’s nice.”

“It was nice. I got to hear the baby’s heartbeat for
the first time.”

“Pretty cool, huh?”

“Oh, wow, yes. I cried.”

“Me too.”

“Ava had another anxiety attack, Ari.” She dropped a
bomb.

“What the hell!” I shot up in my seat and screamed
into the line at her. “Why are you just now telling me this?”

“Excuse me, but I called you three times.”

“If you tell Fauna's there's an emergency, she’ll put
you right through to me -- it’s her job.”

“It was a
small
panic attack. I was with her
while it happened. We got through the hard parts together. She’s
alright now. I just wanted to catch you before you got home
tonight. I wanted to make sure you were aware of the
situation.”

“What triggered the attack -- do you know?”

She puffed out a loud, weighty
breath, “I
don’t
know. One minute we were talking and then the next thing I
know she’s… gone… no life in her eyes, struggling to breathe, it
was as if Ava had been trapped somewhere deep and scary inside her
mind.”

“What were you two talking about before the attack
happened?”

“Nothing really. I was talking about you and how
happy you are to be a father.”

“Did you get her some meds?”

“She took some, yeah. The whole thing really
frightened Max.”

“Christ, he was there?”

“Well, yeah, Ari. He and Ava are always together.
Andy had the afternoon off, so after it happened, I called him and
he took Max up to the surf shop to try and help get his mind off
things. Don’t be surprised if Max comes home with his own
board.”

“So where is Ava now?”

“Home.”

“Alone?”

“I just left your house. She really is better. She
said she had work to do. I swear I wouldn’t have left her if I had
thought she wasn’t well.”

“I’m coming home…”

“No. Give her space. She needs some time to clear her
mind.”

“How long did the attack last?”

“The bad part lasted no more than five minutes. I
hung around for an hour and talked with her while I ironed shirts
for you and Max. I waited to see if she was going to have another
one but she was acting completely normal.”

“She let you iron our clothes?”

“Well she wasn’t happy about it but gosh, Ari,
someone has to iron and she sure as hell won’t do it.”

“
Ugh
. Whatever. Are you sure she’s
okay?”

“I promise you, she is perfect. I
wouldn’t have told you about it but
I think
it’s important that you know. I know how you like to call her
doctor but I don’t think it’s necessary this time. Let’s see if she
has another one before you get him involved.”

“Alright. Thanks for taking care of her.”

“You know I love her. I would do anything for Ava.
Don’t get mad, but I made you dinner. It’s just spaghetti and some
garlic bread, nothing special. You can find it in the fridge next
to the milk. The bowl is microwave safe, so you can heat it up and
then stick it in the dishwasher when you're finished. Remember, I
want the bowl back.”

“Thanks. I’ll see you this weekend. I promise.”

I reached across the desk and ended my call with my
mom and as soon as the line was released, another call rang
through.

“This is Ari.” I answered before Fauna could
intercept.

“It’s me, August. I called you twice today.”

“I got your messages, I’ve just been busy. What’s
up?”

“I did it!” He shouted excitedly at me.

“Did what exactly?”

“I took your advice.”

“That’s not like you, but what advice of mine did you
take?”

“I called The Dana Point Institute and told the Dean
I’m not coming back for fall semester. Collin and I start our work
partnership effective immediately!”

“Wow… I cannot believe you really did it.
Congratulations, August.”

“Thanks! I’m nervous but this decision feels right
and now that the two of us aren’t tied down, we can travel and work
from the road. I’m not as effective as he is with the programs he
runs, but I’m learning and he thinks we can do it! Which is the
reason that I am calling you…”

“Why?”

“Well, we'll be leaving...”

“Ohhh.”

“And Ava doesn’t know yet. We were
thinking of taking her out to dinner to break the news. How does
the four of us this Saturday at
Pow
Pow
sound? Let’s say around seven? I’ll
make the reservations. I’d really like to talk with her about
everything in person.”

“When do you plan to leave, exactly?”

“Collin and I both agreed we would stick around until
after the baby is born. We’ll spend the holidays with your family
and then we’re off to Paris for the New Year.”

“Can you wait a while longer before you tell
Ava?”

“Why?”

“Just… she loves you guys and I know she’ll be
thrilled for you both but she is also going to be upset. I don’t
want to add the stress to her right now. Can you give it a few
weeks? Maybe after her big fundraiser or maybe even after the baby
is here?”

“You sure about this?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.
House to Home
has her
really busy and stressed, the pregnancy is wearing her down, her
nightmares and anxiety are back. If you can hold off on telling
her, I’d really appreciate it.”

“Ok, then. I’m on your side, Ari. I’ll let Collin
know not to say anything and we’ll plan to tell Ava… later…”

“Cool. Thanks. And congratulations again,
August.”

****

“Excuse me, Ari, I’m heading out now.”

A quick glance at my computer screen showed me it was
five past six.

“Are you sure you’re making the right decision?”

“Undoubtedly.”

“What is it you are doing exactly?”

“It’s silly ... I am just pursuing a… passion.”

My eyebrow rose in question making Fauna obligated to
elaborate.

“I feel a little cheated. I wasn’t
supposed to be some girl who answers the phone. I was supposed to
be
someone
else,
do
something else with my life. This job was never supposed to
be a forever thing for me. I got what I needed from the position
and it’s time to move forward. Thank you for
everything.”

“You’re welcome. Good luck. You worked hard, we're
going to miss you around here.”

“I’ll miss you too, Boss. But I’ll
be around. Now, I have a huge binder put together for the new girl.
It holds the answer to any questions she may have about you and the
job. All of the external numbers are listed in there as well as in
the computer. I included a detailed sheet of how you like to keep
your calendar, appointments, meetings --
everything
. Ava is number one on the
speed dial and your mother is number two. If there are any
questions, I added my cell number so don’t hesitate to call … or
email me … or you know, whatever.”

“Take care, Fauna, and good luck. I hope you get what
you want.”

“Thank you. I will.”

“Baby?”

I slid my shoes off by the mat.

The breakfast bar had remnants of Max’s dinner. Half
a string cheese, a few broccoli stems and the crust of a turkey
sandwich. Apparently, Ava never got the spaghetti message. The sofa
was empty aside from a forgotten-about iPad wedged between throw
pillows.

“Ava? Baby, I’m home.”

My ears perked up at the sound of a baseball game
carrying down from the bedroom TV. Baseball is their favorite.

“
There
you are!”

Ava and Max sat together on our bed. He was lying on
his stomach with his arms and legs fanned out in every direction
while she rubbed his back and tried to soothe him. His eyes were
puffy, red and stained with wet streaks from his tears. “What’s the
matter?”

“He had a nightmare and now he can’t fall back
asleep.”

I leaned down to kiss Ava and then stripped down to
my undershirt and boxers so I could join them in bed. The mattress
sank a bit with my weight and I leaned back against the pile of
pillows stacked up in front of the headboard.

“Come here, Buddy.” Patting my hand on my chest, Max
army crawled across the mattress and up my body, sharp little
elbows shoving into my flesh. Finally he crawled into my arms. He
draped himself over me and pillowed his head in the same dip of my
shoulder that Ava sleeps on. “What was the nightmare about this
time?” I asked Ava.

“I haven’t been able to get him to talk. He won’t say
anything. I know he’s happy you're home though.”

“I’m happy I’m home, too. I missed you both.” My lips
pressed into the top of Max’s head a dozen or so times and my legs
bounced in a soothing, rocking rhythm. I rubbed Max’s back and he
sniffled.

“Will you tell me, Max? What did you see?”

He didn’t answer me so I talked quietly in his ear
telling him over and over again how much I love him.

“I love you, sweet boy. I know what you see sometimes
when you sleep is scary, but all you have to do is open your eyes
and we will be right here for you. Will you talk to me?
Please?”

Max’s arms squeezed me tighter and he pushed his face
deeper into my shirt, breathing me in, sucking the air away from my
skin the same way as Ava.

“You alright, Ava?” I reached out and tucked her
under my other arm.

“Mmm hmm.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m good.” She wasn’t going to tell me about
the anxiety attack.

“What was your trigger?”

“Ugh,” she sighed. “It wasn’t a big deal. The whole
ordeal lasted five minutes.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“Does your mom ever just mind her own business?”

“No. Never.”

“I don’t know what the trigger was, Ari. I’d tell you
if I knew but your mom and I were talking about you and the baby
and Max and the next thing I knew, I felt as if I couldn’t
breathe.”

“She said Max was there when it happened.” My legs
kept their gentle shake and my palm continued to soothe him by
slowly sliding up and down his small back. Max’s eyelids were heavy
and each of his blinks lasted a bit longer than the last one. “She
said that it scared him.”

“It did scare him. It scared me, too. I’m not a
pretty person to be around when an anxiety attack happens.”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“You were at work, Ari. What would you have done
besides worry about nothing?”

“I could have come home. Work isn’t number one or
number two or three, I don’t even rank the place. You are my number
one. You’re my whole world. I want to be here for you. Always.

“I was ok. I had my own work to do anyway.” She
gestured to her open laptop at the foot of the bed. “
And
I
had plans to watch the Cubs game tonight without your commentary in
the background.”