A Promised Fate (4 page)

Ava finished the story and planted a kiss to Max’s
sleeping lips. “Good night, sweet boy. We love you.” I flipped off
his bedroom light and closed his door.

“You know what?” I turned to her and took her hand as
we walked down the hallway of our rambling home.

“What?” The sound of Ava’s voice, so soft and sweet,
always makes my heart thump a little louder.

“We are all alone now.” Ava’s eyes flashed up to mine
and she tugged on my hand and ran towards our bedroom with a flirty
laugh.

****

“Is it always going feel this way between us?”

Ava’s eyelashes tickled my bare, sweaty chest. She
ran her fingers through the trail of hair on my lower stomach. Her
touch was sensational and caused my nerves to tingle and my blood
to warm and flow more and more quickly through my veins. I shifted
my body to get another look at her. Our legs were intertwined and
our skin stuck together from the damp heat.

“What do you mean?” My finger brushed across her now
swollen lips.

“I mean us. This passion between us. I can’t ever get
enough of you. I don’t ever want to stop when it comes to you and
me. I can never seem to satisfy the lust I have for you when we are
alone. Surly, that feeling, this passion can’t last forever.”

“Our love for each other will last forever, Ava. Our
love and everything that comes with it will never cease. Our lives
may change as we grow together but the feelings I have for you and
the passion that those feelings evoke will always remain.”

“You feel it too, right?”

My breath hitched in my chest. “I am obsessed. I am
fixated on you. I cannot believe you are my wife. The notion that
you are mine strikes me as a miracle. I will spend an eternity
watching you, Ava and kissing you and satisfying you and it still
won't be long enough for me. I feel the pull between us. Withdrawal
from you will cause my death.”

She moved her hand from my stomach and touched her
lips to mine and we did not close our eyes for rest until the gulls
began to cry at daybreak.

Chapter
4

“Thanks, Fauna. I’ll take a look at it here and get
back with you later on today.”

“Sure, Boss. Just let me know what you need me to
do.”

“You’re working?”

I looked up from the desk phone at Ava who was
leaning in on the doorframe of our home office and staring in at me
in disapproval. Her hair was silky and shiny, her round cheeks
clean and glowing and her nails freshly polished.

“You caught me. I’m sorry, Baby. I’m done now, I
didn’t realize you were home. You look lovely. How was your morning
with my mom and sister?”

“I thought you were spending the morning with Max.”
She was too disappointed with me to be distracted by my question.
“I thought you were giving him a surf lesson. He was looking
forward to it, Ari.”

“We did that. He’s getting brave.”

“Where is he now?” Her arms crossed tightly over her
chest.

“His room with that new book you gave him. He’s loves
that one. It has become a fast favorite.”

“No more work until Monday. Ok? You promised.”

“No more work until Monday.” My head bobbed in
agreement and apology just before I glanced at the computer screen
at the image that Marketing approved despite my strong feelings
against its use. My shoulders fell in defeat. I had had hopes of
going in a different direction.

“I want to talk to you.”

“I’m all yours. What’s on your mind, Beautiful?”

“I want to know, Ari,
who
are you?” She
blindsided me with her question and every muscle in my body
clenched, my stomach tightened and my lungs froze.

“It doesn’t matter. Hey, listen, we need to talk
about the
baio
fashion show-”

“No we don’t.
Who
are you?”

The curvy line in her brow deepened when her eyes
narrowed. Her stare dug into mine.

“I, um… Ava, where is this coming from? Why do you
even care? Why are you bringing this up all of a sudden? What
difference does it make?” I jumped into defensive mode much more
quickly than I probably should have. My fingers raked through my
hair again and again tugging on knots and pulling painfully at the
roots.

Ava has asked me who I was a few times throughout our
relationship and I have always managed to dodge the question. She
knows that I descend from Adonis and that is all that she needs to
know.

“I am curious. I want to know. I want to learn these
things, Ari. We are having a baby together and I want to know
who
we are having. What to expect.”

I gave her a short dismissive laugh at her question
and she flinched at the quick and flippant insult. Her question and
reasoning were actually quite astute and valid. She was right to
want to know the answer. I was just too fearful to tell her.

“Don’t laugh at me,” she spat.

“You already know who I am, Baby.” I softened for a
different approach. “You know me better than almost anyone.”

“
Who
are you? Tell me, Ari,” she begged.

“I am Ari, husband to Ava, father to Max and I am
excitedly waiting the birth of our baby. That is all I ever I want
to be. I don’t want to talk about this anymore. That’s enough, Ava.
We are done here.”

“Excuse me?” Her molars ground sharply together; I
could hear them crunch from across the room. Ava was more than mad
and she had every right to be.

“You heard what I said. We are done with this
conversation. I still have work to finish. I’ll meet you and Max by
the pool in a while, once I am done. Now excuse me.” My softened
approach hadn't worked and I had no choice but to be insulting.
Hurting Ava’s feelings was a small price to pay. I was doing her a
favor. I was doing us both a favor. I could live with her angry,
but I couldn’t live with doubt, I could not live with her gone from
my life.

She refused to leave the office and stared across the
desk at me with angry eyes and tight lips. My blood warmed and a
wild fire rushed through my veins. A nervous ball of tightly wound
energy sucker punched my core. No matter how hard I may try to
prepare myself, I would never be willing or ready for this talk,
for this fight, for this heartache. She would be angry but mostly
she would be hurt. She would question me, she would question my
love for her. She would think horrible things about me. She would
think she wasn’t supposed to be mine and that we made a mistake. I
love only her but she would still be right to come to those
conclusions.

“Ava?” I picked up the phone and dialed my assistant,
giving her a cold and final dismissal.

Fauna answered and I leaned back in my chair and
tilted around to look out at the sea while I talked over the image
and the ideas I had come up with to stop Marketing from pushing the
decision through.

“Is Margaux backing this?” I asked Fauna.

“Yes. She has her mind made up.”

“Did she even humor the other suggestions?”

“She gave some thought to them but it wasn’t enough.
We’ve lost, Boss.”

The stale air pushed through my tight lungs when
Ava’s receding footsteps were followed by the closing of the office
door.

“Shit. Fauna, this is bad.” I said and hung up the
line.

Ava’s question made the nerves in my stomach erupt
and scatter from my tight core up to my chest and down through my
gut and finally through my limbs, winding a path of unsettling
energy until I was sweaty and light headed.

****

“Does it matter?” I stewed and hid in the office and
then, after a search, I found her alone in the empty nursery. “Will
you stop loving me?”

“No.” She turned and blinked her sad eyes, “no, of
course not. I love you no matter what. I didn’t know how upset you
would get. I’m sorry, Ari. I am really sorry. Don’t be angry with
me.”

I hated that she just apologized to me. I hated that
I made her feel that she was the one who was wrong. But it was what
I had to do to keep us happy. It was what I had to do to keep her
from asking me and from finding out my secret.

“I forgive you. Who I am does not matter, Ava. Do not
dwell on this. All that matters is, I love you.”

“I love you.” She looked away from me and back to the
empty space and the white walls and cold, hardwood floors.

“When are we going to get started on decorating the
baby’s room?”

“I was waiting on you to decide.”

Somehow, I managed to suppress an overwhelming
feeling relief and I beamed up at her. “Well, I was waiting on you
to decide. We can get started in here whenever you would like. Do
you have an idea of what you would like to do in the room? It would
probably be easier if we knew what we were having. Pink or
blue.”

“I don’t want either color. I bought this today.” Ava
had an unsure look on her face and I slanted my head to the side in
curious wonder at her little voice and pink blushing cheeks.

She held up a cream-colored baby blanket. The blanket
was soft and sweet.

She bit and chewed at her bottom lip. “Your mom
dragged me to that new baby boutique in town and I couldn’t resist
this little blanket. I can’t believe she talked me into buying it,
the silly thing cost a fortune.” She added the last part shyly and
I threw my head back and laughed. Ava is the last of all people to
worry about price tags and money.

“This is very pretty, I am sure it is worth the…” I
glanced down at the tag, “two hundred dollars? Two hundred dollars
for a tiny rectangle of fabric?
Baio
is right to jump on the
baby wagon, we are going to make a killing with
baio
babe
.”

“Don’t talk
baio
with me,” she warned,
obviously still angry from my broken promise about not working.

“You’re right, I won’t. Forgive me. Let’s talk about
us. Our baby is going to love this blanket, Ava. We still need to
crib shop. Maybe next weekend will work. What colors do you want
for the room?”

Ava is a smart woman. She would figure me out and she
would return with her questions with force and at some point, I
would lose to her. She would find me out and doubt our love. But
for now, I would keep her busy and the baby always keeps Ava
busy.

“I want to keep the nursery simple with soft greys
and creams. Can you have the decorator draw some ideas up for
us?”

“I’ll call her after the holiday.”

“Thanks.” She smiled her first real smile at me.

“Are you getting excited about our baby now?”

“I have always been excited about our unexpected
news. I am elated that we get to raise a biological child together.
My apprehension has never been about having a baby. My anxiety lies
with having a baby who is a deity and born to honor a life he
didn’t choose. It’s not fair. I want our child’s destiny to be
undecided. I want our baby to be free to be whomever he or she
chooses to be.”

I agreed with her completely but there was no sense
in dwelling over something that was out of our control.

“There are worse things in life than being born like
you and me. Our child will never know what it is like to go without
love. Our child will never be hungry or cold. Our child with have
two parents who will love each other forever, and together we will
love her forever. That is more than a lot of people in this world
can say.”

Ava nodded her head slowly in thought.

“Here. This blanket officially marks this room as
Baby Alexander’s.” I draped the soft blanket across the window seat
cushion. “The nursery will be put together in no time.”

“Actually …”

“Yes?” My brow rose in question at her hesitance.

“Forget it, it’s super stupid.”

“You have never said anything super stupid before, so
lay it on me.”

“It’s just … I thought that maybe if we had the
blanket in our room, and used it until the baby is born, the fabric
would start to smell like us and not some gaudy store. Our familiar
scent will be comforting to our baby at night.”

“I think that’s a great idea.”

“Yeah?”

“Not super stupid at all. I could actually use a
blanket, since you persist in ripping ours off of me in the middle
of the night.”

“I do not!”

“Sure you don’t.”

We left the room with our new baby blanket in hand to
get ready for the afternoon of pool time followed by dinner and
fireworks. My heart was still racing. I was keeping a secret that
would break Ava’s heart.

“Come on, Ava, get in.”

Ava sat at the pool’s edge with her feet dangling
into the cool water. It was hot outside. The rest of us were in the
water and had just finished a game of volleyball.

Ava took her foot and splashed water up in my face.
She did so playfully but to me the gesture meant war. I grabbed her
hands in one quick swoop and began to pull her into the water along
with me.

“No, no, sorry, Ari!” She immediately began to scream
in protest at what I was about to do.

“Nope, you are learning to swim, Ava, and that’s
that.”

I managed to get her into my arms and in the pool and
straightaway, she wrapped her body around mine, no easy task with
her swollen baby bump keeping the rest of her body at bay, but
somehow she managed.

“Calm down, it’s just four feet of water. I'm going
to let you go now. You can touch here.” I let go of her but she
remained suction cupped to me, whimpering in my ear.

“Ava, listen to me, you need to learn to be
comfortable in the water. You need to learn to swim. We have Max
and we have a baby on the way. If you are home alone and one of
them, God forbid, falls in the water then what will you do? How
will you save our children?”

Ava released her grip at my words and her feet, for
the first time ever, touched the bottom of the pool. She had a very
sober look in her eyes.