A Reason To Breathe (24 page)

“You remembered?”

“First time I wished I couldn’t.”

“You want to talk about it?”

“God, Jack, I’ve never known terror before. You watch those horror movies and yell at the heroine to run faster or don’t go back into the house and think if you’re in the situation you wouldn’t make those same mistakes, but you do. You run down the wrong tunnel and fall in a hole.”

“It’s over and you’re safe.” Jack insisted.

“He was my friend,” I said on a cry and let the tears fall, gulping huge breaths. Jack drew me tighter, and I continued to cry. I cried for the friend I thought Gerry was, for the women who died because of me, and because I just needed to let it out.

“He was no friend, Baby, and he doesn’t deserve your tears. He died a coward, lived his life less than a man, and gave up a son to his own pain, instead of moving forward, taking care of what was his and finding another good woman to love, instead of worshiping a woman who was dead. That’s on him, not you. You can’t blame yourself for his actions, and you can’t help that you’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.” Thinking about his words, I let them sink in. My crying under control, I wiped my face of the tears and agreed with him.

“Ok, Jack.”

“That’s twice you’ve agreed with me since you woke up, and if I didn’t like it so much, I might call the doctor in to give you another battery of tests.” I giggled at that and Jack squeezed me.

“Baby, what’d I say about giggling?” He purred in my ear. That got me laughing, and I said without thinking, “Sorry.”

“Fuck me, this is gonna be a long recovery,” Jack growled in my ear. So I giggled again, and Jack decided he’d get even by smacking my ass. Bailey walked in on the smack, raised an eyebrow, grinned and laughed, “You go Mamasita.”
Can you die from blushing?

Chapter Twenty-four

Conniving Ways

        “Bailey, turn that down,” Jack shouted from the kitchen. I smiled to myself as I lie in bed, listening to Jack and Bailey fight over the noise level of the TV. The theme song to Sons of Anarchy was playing loudly down the hallway, and I knew that Bailey had won. It’s been one day since I was discharged from the hospital, Jack insisting that I recoup at his house so he could help Bailey take care of me. I didn’t tell either of them I felt fine, a little tired and sleepy still, but no more so than if I had stayed up all night working on a story, and needed coffee to get through the day.

It had been a week, and a half since I’d fallen down that hole and Dr. Harrison said I’d recovered quickly because of Jack’s pre-hospital presence of mind to start an IV and oxygen on me; all were parts of the therapy they’d prescribed for the brain swelling I’d endured.

Jack was making soup, home on his lunch hour from the station, and Bailey was supposed to be working on a paper she had to turn in once she left for South Bend and college life at Notre Dame. I heard the doorbell ring and then voices. I tried to hear who was at the door, but Jack’s bedroom was at the back of the house.

“Mom, can Ben come in and see you?” Bailey bellowed down the hall. Thinking about what Ben had lost and also the guilt he seemed to be carrying around with him, I answered immediately. “Sure, send him back.” Straightening my blanket and propping pillows behind my head, I waited for Ben to make his way down the hall. I heard a knock on the door then it opened a bit, and I heard Ben ask, “You decent Jenny?”

“Come in Ben, it’s fine.” Ben entered and smiled, and then moved to the bed and sat on the edge near my legs.

“I just wanted to check on you, make sure you were doing, ok?” I didn’t hesitate; I sat forward and wrapped my arms around his big neck and tried to reassure him that I was fine, shocked, but fine. “Ben, I’m fine; I’m feeling stronger every day, and the doctor said if I’m up to it I can go back to work at the beginning of next week.” Ben slowly wrapped his arms around me and patted my back saying, “Good, good; that’s good to hear Jenny girl.” I held him for a moment and decided I needed to address the elephant in the room. Ben’s friendship with Gerry had lasted going on twenty years, and he had to be feeling used and lost, as well.

“Ben, please don’t blame yourself for Gerry’s actions. He fooled all of us, and even though he was a monster in the end, maybe it was more of a sudden snap and the person you were friends with just got lost in there.”

“Always looking for the good in people, even when they murder five people. This is why I kept an eye on you; you’re too sweet for your own good.” Rubbing tears from my eyes, I saw Jack at the door, looking amused.

“What?” I sniffed, looking for a tissue.

“Nothing, Babe, just wondering how many men are gonna fall in love with you before you notice.”

“What are you talking about, Jack? Honestly you talk in riddles sometimes.” Jack barked out a laugh and moved farther in the room.

“Just pointing out that Ben here sees what I see, he saw your innocence and sweetness and fell for it too, lucky for me, he’s too old, so he fell in a fatherly way.”

“I keep trying to tell you I’m not naive, and certainly not innocent, my twenty year old daughter in the other room proves that.”

“There she is.”

“There who is?”

“My Jenn. Ready to fight with me over anything, good to have you back.” I narrowed my eyes at him, and he smiled. I rolled my eyes and looked at Ben. “You see what I have to put up with?” Ben looked between Jack and me and smiled, “I’d say Jack is right, you’re just fine.” Honestly, men stick together tighter than women do. “Whatever,” I replied, and both men laughed.

*
                            *                            *

       “I’m bored,” I whined in the phone.

“I can hear that,” Jack replied,
all
but ignoring me.             

It was day three since my release, and bed rest was for the birds. With the exception of hot sex, I’d insisted, the only fun I was having was tormenting Jack and Bailey by ordering them around just for the hell of it. Watching them try and bite their lips to keep from yelling at me, because everyone knows it’s bad manners to yell at a sick person, was fun. Yeah, I know, childish, but still fun!

“Jack, are you listening to me?”

“If I say no will you hang up and let me get back to work?”
Oh no, he didn’t?

“
Sorry,
I bothered you, I’m sure someone else will talk to me, oh look, the Mayors been calling me, bye Jack.”

Yeah, that was childish, but I’m so bored. Sitting there looking around the room, I decided enough was enough; I was going out. Screw Jack and his stay in bed or else orders. Bailey was out; I was home by myself and I craved human interaction. My phone buzzed a text message, so I looked and saw it was from Jack. I swiped it, read it, and laughed.

<
Babe, ignoring everything but the “sorry” see you tonight
>

Well now what? I needed to wash my clothes and haul them back up to my cabin, or haul them up to my cabin and then wash? While pondering this dilemma, my phone rang, and I pounced like a puma.

“Hello?”

“Hey girl, you done healing?” Mandy’s cheerful and much needed voice rang out.

“Yes, but if you tell Jack or Bailey I’ll deny it.”

“Gotcha mums the word. So, if you’re feeling better, you wanna grab some lunch?” No sweeter words had ever been spoken.

“Sounds good, but can we do it in CB? I need to haul some of my stuff back to the cabin to get ready for work next week.”

“Works for me, we can go to McGill’s for lunch.” I hesitated when she said that, and she caught it immediately.

“Jesus, Jennifer, I’m such an ass. Forget I said that.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine, I can’t avoid it forever. I haven’t been there since everything happened, in fact, I don’t even know if Ben goes there now?” Deciding to meet this head on and rip it off like a Band-Aid, I replied with more conviction than I had, “McGill’s it is.”

*                            *                            *

       “So what will it be?” Rosie asked us.

We’d arrived at McGill’s, and when we walked in, I tried not to look over at Ben’s normal spot, but I’m a glutton for punishment, so I did.

It was empty.

Sadness ran through me, so I turned and headed to the table. I looked at Mandy; she looked at me, and we grabbed a chair and sat down.

Band-Aid ripped off; Rosie brought us menus, and now we were ordering our lunch.

“Turkey Club for me,” Mandy ordered.

“I’ll have the chicken salad, please.”

So here we were, sitting at Ben and Gerry’s table, and nothing bad happened… Then my phone rang. I looked; it said “Bossy calling.”…
Yikes.

“Hello?”

“You wanna explain to me why you’re not at home?”

“Mandy called and we went to lunch.”

“You wanna explain to me why you’re not at home?”

Apparently Jack was on repeat. Two could play that game.

“Mandy called and we went to lunch.”

Jack sighed. I smiled.
See it’s fun.

“You wanna explain why you aren’t resting instead of out running around?” Jack said through his teeth.

“I called you, I told you I was bored, I rested in the car while Mandy drove, now I’m resting in a chair at McGill’s waiting on my sandwich, which, I will still be resting while eating a sandwich.”

“You trying to test my last nerve or is this just your general disposition when sick?” I thought about that, wasn’t actually sure to be honest, so I answered truthfully.

“A little of both. Did you need something or is this just your general disposition when you’re bossy?” There was a pause; then he barked out a laugh.

“Christ if that doesn’t turn me on too?”

“What? I didn’t apologize?”

“No, you just know how to push my buttons and you do it without a care in the world at how pissed off I get.”
This was true.

“That’s true.

“No, “sorry,” for making me mad?”

“Um, no, because I’m not.” Jack sighed and then moved on.

“You gonna be out all day?”

“Probably not, I don’t want to overdo it.”

“Then I’ll see you tonight.”

“Sounds good.”

“Later, Babe.”

“Later, Jack.”

“Jesus, it’s like listening to an old married couple.” Mandy laughed.

We were laughing as Rosie walked up with our food, and I looked up and saw Ben walk in with Lorraine. He looked right at me and smiled then brought Lorraine over and joined our table. We looked at each other with sad smiles and then moved on.

“So, Lorraine, you and Ben dating now?” Mandy asked around a bite of sandwich. Lorraine smiled a crafty smile and Ben coughed.

“We’ve been getting to
know
each other better, yes.”

“I’ll bet,” Mandy, mumbled in her napkin, I coughed, Ben looked to the ceiling, and Lorraine chuckled.

“Let’s just say the plumbing is in order.” I choked down my bite; Mandy hooted, and Ben excused himself to the men’s room.

“Spill.” I whispered when he was out of hearing range.

“Man spent all those years eating like a hippie, good foods he grew, taking care of his body, paid off. I am
just
as satisfied at sixty-eight as I was at forty.” I sat back, mouth open, then turned to Mandy, who had the same expression on her face.

“Close your mouths or flies will get in,” she laughed.

“You’re a dirty whore and I want to be you when I grow up.”

Lorraine burst out laughing at Mandy’s declaration, and I still sat there trying not to think about the fact that Ben and Lorraine were um, having sex, doing the nasty, hitting the business. Pondering this, I wondered who was on top, and
the image of Lorraine riding Ben and saying “yee-haw” while he slapped her butt hit me. I closed my eyes to get
that
image out of my head when Ben walked up. I knew I couldn’t look him in the eyes, so I stood up and said, “Excuse me,” while I ran to the bathroom and laughed my ass off. 'Cause honestly, it wasn’t funny it was awesome, but I knew them, and I didn’t want to know that, so I needed bleach and I needed it now! 

Five minutes and a shit load of tissue paper to dry my eyes and wipe my smudged eyes free of makeup, later, I walked out to the table and found Lorraine on the phone. She had a pen and notebook out, and was writing furiously while replying to someone. She hung up, turned to me and announced, “Some idiot is robbing the credit union and has hostages, the Sheriff’s department’s been called in, and Bob wants me down there to cover the story. I didn’t even think; I stood up and said, “Let’s go.” Then grabbed my purse and turned to Mandy. “You wanna come or do I need to catch a ride with Lorraine?” “Hell yeah, I’m coming, I’m not missing this.”

We all jumped up, threw money on the table and headed to our cars. Lorraine and I discussed how to approach the story, then jumped in our vehicles and headed off down the highway. It wasn’t until we were almost there that it occurred to me that Jack would be there and probably be unhappy to see me. Oh well, he needs to get used to it because I had every intention of moving my way up the editorial page at the paper, and hopefully when Lorraine retired, win her spot.

We reached the credit union twenty-five minutes after the first phone call, and found the Sheriff’s department had cordoned off the streets two blocks in both directions from the bank. Lorraine and I got out and headed to the barrier with our press passes around our necks, and our game faces on. Grady was standing guard, and when he saw us walk up, his jaw got tight and he shook his head.

“I got no comment, ladies.”

“When can we expect a comment?” Lorraine asked.

“Sheriff won’t make any comments until this standoff is over.”

“So it is a standoff?”

“I’m not commenting.”

“Gosh, I hope no children are in there?” I innocently said to Lorraine. She gave me big eyes and nodded in return.

“Gunman let them go ten minutes ago.” Grady explained quickly to alleviate my worry.

“So there
were
children inside, where are their mothers?”

“Still in there.”

“Poor things they must be so scared, do you need help with them?” I asked, using my best
mom
voice.

“Got them in the diner with some uniforms, they might need a woman’s touch though.”