A Rich Man's Baby (23 page)

I
n the middle of the night out of nowhere, I felt pain in my side and back. I sat up, massaged the cramp, and tried to lie back down. The baby wasn't due for another month. As I stretched back out on my back, I felt a clear liquid that I couldn't control drip down my leg. I was thirty-six weeks pregnant, and I knew it was time. I could feel the contractions coming steadily. I woke Kevin.

“I think I'm about to have the baby,” I said.

“Okay,” he said as he shot up and put on his jeans and shirt.

He helped me up out of the bed. I wobbled to the bathroom. He walked in.

“Kevin, I don't think I can get up. I feel pressure like the baby's about to come.” My stomach was tight and then it was over, but I knew another contraction would be coming soon.

“Call the doctor,” I said. Kevin picked up the telephone and the doctor's answering service came on.

“Let's just get to the hospital,” Kevin said as he helped me dress.

We just made it to Lankenau Hospital when Jarell Andre Wallace said hello to the world at two forty-five
AM
. His head was partially out by the time we reached labor and delivery. I pushed two times and heard his first little cry. He weighed six pounds, three ounces and was twenty-seven inches long. Kevin didn't get to film the delivery like he wanted, but he was so happy. He kept kissing and hugging me and the baby, telling us how much he loved us. I called home to tell Alexis and Jamil so they could come up to the hospital in the morning. Kevin called his mother and sister.

I had my own private room, and luckily so, because it was filled with flowers and cards and teddy bears. Kevin was still on his cell phone telling people who Jarell looked like and snapping pictures of him. I was feeling a little sore, but for the most part I was okay. Kevin's mother and sister were on their way up from Virginia, and a few friends had already stopped by.

M
y phone alerted me that I had a text message. I knew it was some motivational nonsense Camille was sending me to keep my spirits up. No one ever texted me except for her and Kevin. I opened the text, and it was from Kevin. I put the phone up against my chest and prayed good news, good news.
He must want to talk to me.
The message read:

 

TO ALL MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY, PLEASE JOIN ME IN WELCOMING MY SON. JARELL ANDRE WALLACE WAS BORN TODAY
, 6
LBS
. 3
OZ
.

 

There was a picture attached. I scrolled down and saw Kevin holding a baby smiling, looking into the camera.

Yeah, right, I know he didn't have his baby.
I had to call him just once more.

“Hello, who is this?” Kevin asked. There was a bunch of noise in the background.

“This is Dionne. Yeah, so your son was born. Congratulations.”

“Thanks, I'm going to send you some more pictures of him.”

“Okay, I'll be looking for them. That's good. Well, congratulations. I have to go.” I called him back a few moments later. I was trying to hold in how angry I was. How unfair it was for him to do this to me. I wanted to move on and be the nice good ex-girlfriend, but something inside wouldn't let that happen. I had to say something.

“Kevin, how could you?” I yelled in the phone.

“How could I what?”

“Have a baby on me.”

“Dionne, you are crazy. That's why we are not together.”

“You left her for me.”

“Dionne, you were about to get married first. I didn't leave you for her. You left me, remember? Listen, I don't have time for this right now. I'm hanging up.”

Kevin hung up on me, and when I called back he didn't answer. I started whimpering at my desk. I took a half day and went home and just cried and cried. I called Camille and just cried, “I feel sad, Camille. I feel real sad. I don't feel like myself. Like I don't know anymore. I can't let it go. Why can't he see how good I am? I'm beautiful and smart, and I'm the one for him.”

“Because he is an asshole and you have somebody ten times better than Kevin. Terrance loves you. Dee, you are beautiful, smart, and talented. You can have anyone you want. You are a brilliant attorney. You have to move on and stop giving that man your energy. You just got Terrance back. Don't mess it up for Kevin.”

“But I want to be with Kevin. I miss him.”

“No, you don't. Remember, we talked about this? Now, where are you? Dee, you get one life; don't waste it on him. That's it. Think about it. Let it go, it's over. You are losing your mind. Go take a shower and relax, okay?” Camille said.

I listened to my sister's words, but the more she spoke, the less I cared.

I feel myself feeling sad again. Nobody understands that I love him. He was my first love. All this pressure, it is real. He had a fucking baby! How could he do that to me? How could he do me so wrong? I'm sitting here in the dark crying. I don't feel all right. I want him to feel pain. I want him to hurt. I had different scenarios come to mind. What I could do, what I should do.

I want him to die. I should pay somebody to kill him. His dumb ass picked this bitch over me. I am a total package. I feel like calling the cops and making something up so he can go to jail for a long time. I saw the news and it was a guy that looked like him. I should call the cops and say it is definitely him, and tell them that he is armed and dangerous so that they can storm his house and he can go to jail for a very long time and he won't be with her.

I took Camille's advice and went and took a long, hot shower. I came out of the shower and just sat in a ball with the lights out and cried myself to sleep.

When I awoke, I called Kevin some more. He would not pick up. I know he saw my number. All I wanted to do was talk to him. His ignoring me hurt so bad. All I needed was closure; for him to just tell me why. A simple why? All I wanted to know was why her and not me? I needed him to talk to me and explain this shit to me. I couldn't wait for him any longer. Kevin was going to give me answers one way or another.

By that night I had wiped away my tears. I was done crying over his pathetic ass. I jumped up off the bed, went into the bathroom, and washed my face. I dried my hands with my rose-colored monogrammed towels. For a moment, I thought about Terrance. He had no idea what was going on. I shook my head and then reached to the back of our closet. I pulled out the black case. I set the gun case on the bed, opened it, and just looked at it. The black handle was hard and rigid. I could see a distorted reflection of myself in the shiny silver part. I placed the gun in my hand. It was heavier than I remembered. I aimed it at the wall, then walked over to my closet mirror and looked at myself. I aimed it again as I made a
pow, pow
noise and squinted my eyes. I acted like I was shooting my image. I then sat on the edge of the bed and loaded the gun, one bullet at a time. Kevin should know better than to mess with me. I was tired of him playing games with me. I was tired of waiting for him to call me back. He needed to see how good I was. He needed to hear me out. He needed to stop ignoring me.

I am a good woman. I am a real good woman, and he will know it. How is he letting that woman live my life and have my baby?
Yup, it was over for him. He wasn't going to hurt anyone else. It had to end today, and I wasn't going to take no for an answer. I don't care anymore.
I don't care, I don't care,
were the only thoughts that ran through my head.

 

I stopped at 7-Eleven and got a coffee. I was dressed in my pink jogging suit. I got back in the car and began driving. I didn't listen to any music on the way to Kevin's house. I didn't want it to disrupt the loud chatter already going on in my head. One side of my brain was trying to convince me to turn around and go home. The other side was telling me all the reasons I should make him pay. I took a look at myself one more time and convinced myself I was doing the right thing.

On my ride to his house I thought about what I was about to do. I sat with the gun on my lap and rubbed it back and forth. I took a deep breath. I didn't know what exactly I was going to say to him, but I knew he was going to listen. After we talked, he could decide if he was going to stay with her or get back with me.

If he didn't want to talk to me, then I didn't know. I just didn't know.
But he will talk to me.

I walked toward his door with my gun in my bag. I pulled it out and tapped on the door with the tip of the gun. Kevin must have been expecting someone because he opened the door without asking who it was. He was surprised to see me.

He looked at me, frowned, and said, “What the hell are you doing here?”

“We need to talk,” I said.

“We have nothing to talk about. Look, I have moved on and you need to move on too. You need to leave before Tanisha gets here.”

“I don't want to move on, and I'm not going to.”

“Dionne, you have a fiancé. Move on.”

“You know you were supposed to be with me, Kevin, like before. Like when we were in college.”

“Dionne, for real, I don't have time for this. You are trippin'. I don't want to call the cops on you. This is not worth jeopardizing your career. Now this is the last time I am going to say it: Leave.”

“All I want to do is talk.”

“We have nothing to talk about.”

“Yes, we do,” I said as I exposed the gun and he backed up. I moved toward him. I came in and closed the door.

“Oh, you really crazy now,” he said as he stood in the middle of his living room.

“No, you crazy. Sit down. I told you, we need to talk.”

“I'm not sitting down shit. Get the fuck out. I don't care if you have a gun. It's probably not real.”

“Sit the hell down. Now, before I make you sit down and show you how real it is,” I demanded.

“So you going to shoot me?” he asked, perplexed.

“I might.”

Kevin began realizing I was not playing, so he sat down and said, “Okay, let's talk. What do you want to talk about?”

“Well, first, why did you leave me? Why didn't you talk to me? Why didn't you try to work it out? I am supposed to be your wife. Remember, you told me that? You said it was me and you. Remember when I used to sit up and do your homework? When I gave you money? When I rubbed you down after every game? Now you can't even talk to me for five minutes. You said, ‘When I make it, you won't have to work.' Do you remember that? Did you mean any of that? Don't you still love me? I mean, all those years. Doesn't that mean anything to you? Don't you still care about me?”

“I do care about you. I still love you, Dionne; but listen, I got a family now. We just didn't work. I mean, think about it. You met somebody else first.”

“So what? I might have left him for you. We broke up a lot of times, Kevin.”

“But we not kids no more. Grown people don't go back and forth. We love each other, but we are not made for each other. I realized that.”

“I don't want to get over us. We used to be so perfect. Remember we would stay in my dorm the whole weekend, just you and me? And remember how we used to drive down to and visit your mom, and we hardly had enough money for gas and tolls?”

“Yeah, I remember all that, but it is over.”

“It is not over. Don't say that, Kevin. That's why I came over here, so you can see that it is not over. That me and you are still the same. We need each other. I need you, you need me. Right?”

“No, Dionne, it's over. It's really over.”

“So that's it?” I thought us reminiscing would change his mind. “So there is nothing I can say. You are not going to take me back?”

“No, I'm not going to take you back.”

“Kevin, I am so sorry I didn't go with you to Europe. I'm so sorry, please forgive me,” I pleaded with him.

“Dee, none of that matters anymore. We are over.”

“So you don't want to be with me?”

“No, and I've had enough. Dionne, get that gun out of my face right now,” he shouted, less afraid of me and the gun.

“You never cared about me, Kevin? You never loved me? Well, I'll tell you one thing, you're not going to keep disrespecting me,” I said as I held up the gun toward him again.

“Disrespecting you? You walk up in my house and point a gun at my head, and I'm disrespecting you,” he said, shaking his head like I was amusing him.

“You disrespected me by having a baby and moving this trifling bitch in. She is not even fucking worthy. She got kids, she been married, she doesn't have any education. Look at me, Kevin. I am great! I am an attorney at twenty-seven years old. Look at my body—it is perfect. I'm perfect. I gave you everything. And you want to treat me like this? Are you out of your damn mind?”

Kevin walked closer to me, and I cocked the gun. “Don't come close to me. I will shoot.”

“So, what? You going to kill me?”

“Yup, you are not going to embarrass me anymore.” I took a few steps back and opened the door and looked around down his block and driveway. There was nobody out, and it was quiet except for the sound of crickets in the dark summer air. I raised the gun up to the middle of his chest. I didn't hesitate. I pulled the trigger and he instantly fell to the floor. His body made one hard thump on the floor. He fell and began grabbing his legs. He looked up at me as blood emerged from his jeans. I could tell he was surprised I actually shot him. The second shot must have really shocked him, because he didn't move at all. I ran out the door to my car. As I backed out of the driveway, I saw his neighbors running over to his house. I looked in my rearview mirror and raced down the road. I reached City Line Avenue and made a right on Lancaster Avenue. I had one down and one to go. Her ghetto ass was not going to be walking on this earth either. I got to the hospital, and who did I see walking toward her car?