Authors: Daaimah S. Poole
M
y disability was approved. I was home on a short-term medical leave for six months. That was more than enough time to get rest and find a new damn job. There was no way I was going back to that hospital. I kept thinking about how foolish I must have looked, fighting and acting crazy.
Being home was so good for me, especially after the abortion. I was real sad for weeks. I wanted to have a baby one day, just not by any ol' body. I wanted to be more selective and at least be with the guy.
That night of my abortion I really felt like I was at death's door. I really came to the realization that no one was in my corner, and knowing that hurt. I never, ever wanted to feel like that again. But I know now I had to start giving a fuck about me in order for anyone else to care. Like I hated Jeremy, but some of the things he said made sense. Like why didn't I have any friends, and why didn't I have a man? I had to be doing something wrong. Why was I coming home every day after work to this apartment by myself? I wanted some friends and a boyfriend. I wanted to get my apartment together and buy furniture. I wanted a new life and new attitude. I just wanted change in my life.
I got me a new wardrobe to go with my new stance on life. I went shopping, something I hadn't done in a long time. I had credit cards I hadn't even touched yet. I wanted to feel pretty, feminine, and good about myself. I bought a maroon Gucci bag with upturned
G
s all over it that I had seen in Saks. I got my makeup done at the counter in Macy's and spent about three hundred dollars on MAC Products. Before I left, I bought five perfumes and three pairs of jeans, a bunch of dresses and shoes. I wanted to feel pretty and look good.
From there I drove to IKEA and purchased a green-and-white-striped sofa and love seat. Then I bought a forty-six-inch television to hang on the wall from Best Buy. I even bought new dishes to eat off. I bought my mom a few pieces, and she was very appreciative. I hadn't been really keeping in touch with her like I should have been.
I really wanted to thank that woman Tanisha too. I wanted to do something nice for her. I really felt like I owed her so much. She saved my life twice. She was the only reason I didn't go to jail and totally lose my job, and she helped me home that night at the pharmacy. I located her number and dialed.
“Hi, Tanisha, this is Adrienne. I wanted to take you out to lunch to say thanks.”
“Thank you, but that's okay. You don't have to,” she said.
“I know, but I really want to. What you doing later? I just wanted to say thank you in person. I can meet you near the job.”
She agreed and we met at a little restaurant a few blocks from the hospital.
She walked up to the hostess. I stood up and waved at her. She came over to the table.
“Hi,” she said softly as she had a seat.
“Hi, I know this awkward, but I really just wanted to give you this,” I said as I gave her an envelope with two hundred dollars in it.
“What's this?” she said as she opened the envelope. “No, I can't accept this. This is not necessary.”
“Please take it. I just wanted to thank you. Like if you wasn't there, I might have killed Jeremy and been in jail and out of a job.”
“It was nothing, trust me,” she said as she gave the envelope back to me.
“Well, at least let me buy your drink.”
We ordered drinks. I had a margarita; she ordered a piña colada. We sat in silence for a moment looking at our menus. Then Tanisha said, “Well, you look great.” She smiled.
“I got a lot of rest. I needed it. Plus, I've been taking better care of myself.”
“I don't want to be out of place, but I wanted to tell you Jeremy was very wrong, and don't worry about him. He is an asshole.”
“Oh, I'm not worried at all,” I said as I took a big gulp of my drink. I didn't really want to talk to her about everything that had happened, so I changed the subject.
“Do you know if Dr. Schmidt had his baby yet?” I asked.
“Yeah, his wife, Jen, had a boy like a week ago. The little gold digger accomplished her mission,” Tanisha laughed.
“Why you say that?” I asked Tanisha as she took another sip of her drink.
“Why I say that? Let me tell you, when Jen worked in my department she was broke. I had to buy her lunch all the time. She didn't even have tokens to get home some days. At her shower she said she was not going to be a working mom. I looked at her like
Please. Like you don't remember, I gave you tokens to get home with
. I know she only married him for money.”
“I'm sure she doesn't remember any of that now. Because she is paid now,” I said.
“Maybe he will wake up and leave her.”
“Yeah, but even if he divorces her, her ass is paid. He makes hundreds of thousands. Damn, I need to be like herâplot on a man and have his baby and be rich.” I laughed.
“Yeah, me too! I'm going to go and find me a doctor,” Tanisha agreed.
“I knew this other nurse who used to only date guys with money. I said, âI'm not going to be like that.' But shit, why not? I need to be.”
“Right,” she chimed in.
“You get hurt dating broke guys. Why not let a rich man break my heart and wipe my tears with some hundreds? Broke men cheat, rich men cheat; but it got to feel better when you have money.”
“I don't know about all that. You know, sometimes it is not about money. I divorced my husband, and now I don't have as much, but I am so much happier,” Tanisha said, breaking up my silly rant.
“You were married?” I asked, shocked.
“Fifteen years. I have three kids,” she said as she raised three fingers up. She was so young-looking, I couldn't believe she was married and had kids.
Tanisha looked down at her watch. We had been talking for an hour. We sat and discussed so many different things. We had so much in common; we both were only children and didn't have a lot of friends. We promised to meet up for drinks again. She stood up and told me she had to leave and gave me a hug. I thanked her again and slid the envelope in her bag. This time she accepted it.
N
obody was going to ever hurt me again or play me again in life. I promised myself that. Lately, I'd been thinking about how lucky Dr. Schmidt's wife was and how unlucky I was. Was it God's plan, or did Jen know how to play her cards better than I did? She had a brand-new home, a car, and money, and she didn't have to do anything for it. Meanwhile, I was busting my ass every day, and what did I get? Nothing. Something was not right with that. Just because she went after a rich man and he fell for it.
I swore I needed to try it and see if it worked for me instead of dealing with the losers I met. Why not date a man with money? 'Cause dating for love don't get you shit for real. Love will kick your ass. Love will beat you down. Love will lie to you and leave you. But if you have money, when that love walks out the door, you still have a security blanket. Instead of laughing at Jennifer, I should have been asking her how she did it.
I was ready for somebody to take care of me. I was tired of being in this lonely girls' club. I wanted somebody with a bunch of money. I wanted to sit back like I was doing during my medical leave. I wanted somebody else to take care of the bills. I wanted the rest of my life to be one big vacation. From this day forward, it was my goal to find me a man to take care of me. I didn't care if my rich man was a doctor, a lawyer, a rapper, or an entrepreneur. I just wanted someone with enough to retire me before I turned twenty-six. I was going to get me a rich man too. It couldn't be that hard.
I went on this Internet dating Web site and did a search for men thirty to forty years old. It was some really nice men on there and some weirdos. I set up a profile. I was a little hesitant to post, but I wanted to really meet somebody, and the Internet was the best way. I had to write a little about myself. Instead of sugarcoating shit, I put exactly what I wanted:
TWENTY-FIVE-YEAR-OLD BEAUTIFUL WOMAN WHO LOVES SHOPPING AND EXOTIC VACATIONS. IDEAL MATE WILL LOVE THE FINER THINGS IN LIFE AND WOULD LOVE TO SHARE HIS LIFESTYLE WITH HIS LADY
.
Surprisingly, I had plenty of takers. I exchanged numbers and talked on the phone to a few of them. The first man I talked to was an engineer. He was cute in his picture, but I had only one conversation with him. I heard his voice and I was automatically turned off, so I didn't call him anymore. He sounded like he couldn't breathe and he was in that movie
The Revenge of the Nerds.
One of my other takers, Gregory, was a forty-two-year-old dentist with his own practice. Not exactly a doctor, but that was doable. He sent me a picture, and he was okay-looking. I had a few conversations on the telephone with him. He seemed like he had sugar-daddy potential. He asked me my favorite vacation spot and asked when was the last time I had been shopping. He said he loved taking care of his lady, but he was always busy and needed someone who understood that he worked a lot. I did not have a problem with a man working all the time and giving me all his money. Then he invited me to join him and a few friends at a Sixers game. He said he had a club box suite at the Wachovia Center and for me to bring a few friends with me. I didn't have a few friends. The only person I could think to call was Tanisha. When I called her she was very excited. I picked her up from her house, and as soon as she got in the car I warned her.
“The guy we are meeting is a little older. I met him online, but he is a dentist.”
“A dentist, that sounds good.”
“Yeah, he already knows the deal. I put in my profile that I want a man with some money. So if nothing else, we will get a free game and some drinks from him.”
“Okay, young Jen,” she said, laughing.
“You right. I am trying to be like Jen and get paid.”
Â
As soon as we parked in the large parking lot, I called Gregory. He said he was going to meet us at the gate. The game was about to begin. People were rushing past us to get into the arena.
Gregory met us at the ticket taker, and I was so disappointed. He was not forty-two; he hadn't seen that age in over a decade. His head was completely white and he looked sixty pounds heavier than in the picture he sent me. He was wearing brown-and-black-pepper dress pants with a Sixers hat and a jersey. I introduced him to Tanisha, and we followed him up the escalator to his suite.
Gregory took my hand and began introducing me to his friends. They were all old too with big grins on their faces. I wasn't the least bit impressed. The club level was not even all that. It was just like sitting in nosebleed seats, only with a bar and a restaurant. We took a seat and he asked if I wanted anything. I told him no. I was so mad that I had been duped by this old man. There was no amount of money that would allow me to go out with Gregory again. None. I looked down at the large crowd sitting in regular seats. I wanted to be down there with the excitement. I asked Tanisha to walk me to the bathroom.
“Gregory, we'll be back,” I said.
As soon as we reached the hallway I apologized to Tanisha for asking her to come out for this.
“No, you didn't know he was going to be Santa Claus. I'm happy to get out of the house.”
“I know, but it would have been nice to have a good time.” I looked in the mirror and was mad. I was all cute for nothing. I had wasted my outfit. I was wearing black Citizen jeans and black Giuseppe boots and carrying my new Gucci bag.
“I don't want to go back up there,” I announced to Tanisha.
“You just going to leave him?”
“I'm not in the mood for old men. I'm not that hard up yet,” I said as I rinsed my hands, then dried them off.
“You not a true gold digger. I bet Jen would have talked to him.” Tanisha laughed.
“She probably would have. She got that. No, thank you. I want my man to look like something.”
I suggested we walk around. I was dying to meet somebody. I heard all this loud cheering coming from the game. We peeked into one of the corridor openings. There were so many people and so many men.
“Let's try to find a seat,” I said as I began walking to some empty seats I saw. Before we got to our seat, a fat guy with a big red jacket on asked to see our tickets.
“We left them down there,” Tanisha said as she pointed at the two empty seats and batted her eyes.
“Go ahead, y'all lucky y'all pretty,” he said bashfully.
This is more like it,
I thought as we sat in our new seats. The new seats came with a great view. I could see cute men in every direction. They were sitting in our row and walking down the aisle steps. A lot of them were looking, but none of them was saying anything. Especially this one cute Puerto Rican guy. Every time he took a sip of his soda, his eyes wandered to me. I was going to wave like “What's up, Papi?” but I was too scared. I didn't know how to approach men.
“Why do men look and not say anything?” I asked aloud.
“Because men are stupid. What's the score?” Tanisha asked.
I didn't know and told her to look up at the screen. I was too busy trying to check out the men in the stands and on the court. The players looked real good. They were tall and lean, with muscular bodies. At that very moment, I realized I couldn't date an old man no matter how much money he had. I was attracted to built young men like the ones on the court, especially number 34. Oh my God, he was delectable. He had to be at least six-four with light brown skin, and had a part in his close, dark goatee beard. His tattoos were going up and down his arm like a sleeve and were partially covered by an armband.
Damn.
I could see his big diamond earrings sparkling in his ear from my seat.
“That man looks good,” Tanisha exclaimed as he made a dunk in the basket and the crowd screamed.
“Who?”
“The one right there with all the tattoos.”
“I was just thinking that,” I said as we slapped hands. “You know what I would do with that man.” I laughed loudly. I hoped nobody was listening to our silly talk. My phone started ringing, and I accidentally answered it. It was Gregory calling. I didn't know what to say, so I hung up on him. He called back a few more times, and I kept sending him to voice mail.
Out of nowhere this tall pretty brown-skinned woman stopped in front of us and partially obstructed our view. I could still see, but Tanisha was looking like, “Bitch, get out of the way.” The woman finally said, “Excuse me,” then said, “Sorry, I'm in your way. I'm trying to find my friend. Oh, there she go,” as she waved to her friend a few rows down.
“Oh my. I love your shoes and your bag. Where did you get them from?” she asked as she leaned down and rubbed the leather on my bag.
“Saks,” I said.
“They are so damn cute. I'm going to go try to find them. You are working your whole look, girl,” she said as she flipped her parted long brown hair.
“Thanks,” I said, flattered.
“Y'all both look real cute. After the game y'all should try to stop past Ninety-Nine Plus Lounge. There is going to be a lot of ballplayers in the house. And some people from the music industry.”
“The basketball players from this game right here?” Tanisha asked.
“Yeah, girl. My best friend's boyfriend plays for the Nets. Him and all his friends will definitely be there. Bring this card, and you will get in for free before eleven. See you there,” she said as she handed me a postcard with the party info on it. She then walked down toward the seats by the court.
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After the game, we found our way to the Ninety-Nine Plus Lounge. We gave the bouncer our passes, and he said to have a good time and opened the door. The small, private club had red velvet booths low to the floor with small white, round pillows. There were white circular candles on the tables alongside ice buckets prepped for champagne.
We sat at the bar and ordered drinks. There were more women than men. But in less than an hour, the club was filled and the music was blasting. The players started arriving one by one. And the women in the club started swarming toward them. They were tall and grand. I would take any one of them. A few were unfazed by the attention and just came to the bar. The others went straight to the dance floor and became the center of the party. Tanisha and I tried to find a flaw on the women, but couldn't. They were all wearing expensive stilettos, were dressed in short, revealing, tight dresses with perfect makeup, and were carrying designer bags. Tanisha and I were cute but overdressed for the event.
We walked to the bathroom and everyone was applying makeup and waiting to use the restroom. One girl was standing in front of the mirror, tossing her hair side to side with her jacket and bag between her legs. She put on her jacket and then began applying a bunch of lipstick on her thin lips. Her body was crazy, but her face was not so much. Then I saw the girl who invited us.
“Glad you made it out. I'm Angelique, and this is my friend Princess.”
Princess gave us a phony hi.
“Princess, isn't her bag nice?” Angelique asked.
She eyed it up and down, then said, “Yeah, it's cute. I'll get my boy to buy me one tomorrow.”
“He is not buying your bag, he just paid your tuition,” Angelique said as she held her eyes wide open, layering on mascara.
“I bet I get him to buy me a new bag and a car to ride to school in. Watch. Soon as he see me in this dress, he going to give me whatever I want.” She laughed as she turned around to check her dress from the back.
Angelique looked over at us and said, “Some bitches got all the luck, right? Why my six-footer had to get married and cut me off?” she asked us like we knew the answer.
Tanisha and I looked at each other and silently laughed at them as they left the bathroom. Coming out of the restroom, I almost fainted. I saw number 34 three feet in front of me, and I thought he gave me a smile. I just wanted to grab him and touch him, but I held my composure. He didn't have any security, entourage, or anything. He walked over to a booth by himself and looked over at me again. This time he winked at me. I wasn't sure he was looking at me, so I turned away. By the time I turned around to make sure that wink was for me, three white girls were in his face.
Damn it,
I thought. These women weren't playing, they went hard.
The party was so good, but Tanisha had to go to work in the morning. We were headed for the door when Angelique thanked us for coming out and gave us her card.
“I've never been to anything like that. Did you see the women and the players?” Tanisha said.
“Me neither, and did you hear that girl in the bathroom talking about somebody paid her tuition and she was about to get somebody to pay for her car?” I asked.
“Yes, I heard that. I was looking at her like, âWho paid your tuition?'”
“If she can get a tuition paid, I can get a house and a car. But, no, then you see my boyfriend, number thirty-four, walk past me?”
“And he smiled at you. You should have said something,” she said, smirking.
“I should have, but I was too scared.”
“You can't be scared with them vultures. They were bold, just walking up and introducing themselves.”
“Well, next time I'm going to be just like them, and I'm going to be ready. I know there are going to be more parties. I'm going to call that girl Angelique and find out the next party.”
“I'm going with you. I still can't believe they were actually there, sitting around having drinks like regular people,” Tanisha said.
“They are regular people, and I'm going to get one. I'm going to call you and be like, âgot one.'”
We talked the rest of the way to Tanisha's house. After I dropped her home, I thought about how that party just made me know for certain that I didn't have to date an old man to get money and any man was attainable. Number 34 was within my reach, figuratively and literally. If I got with any of them, all my problems and bills would be gone. My whole life could change in one night.