A Safe Space (Someone Else's Fairytale Book 4) (13 page)

I tug my shirt so that it hangs straight again. “So, thanks.”

“Hang on—”

I shoulder past him though and open the door, praying that there’s no one in the hallway outside. Luck is with me. It’s empty. I dart out and head for the exit.

“Lizzie.” He comes after me, but I break into a run.“Lizzie!” he shouts as we burst through the exit. “Wait.”

I reach my car and claw at the handle until the door opens. Then I’m inside with the engine on.

“Hey.” He knocks on my window. “Hang on a minute.”

I put the car into reverse and back out of my parking space.

He holds his hands up as if to say, “What are you doing?”

Not letting you win
, I think as I put the car in drive and leave.

“L
IZZIE
?” K
YRA CALLS
out when I get home.

I head straight for my room and shut the door.

“You okay?” comes her muffled voice.

“I’m fine,” I holler back.

I peel back the covers of my bed and climb in. Then I grab one stuffed animal after another and wedge them against my body until I feel like I’m in a cocoon. For most people, home is a safe space, but for me, it just feels like an empty void. With the covers pulled up over my head, I shut my eyes and finally escape from this day.

The next morning, I don’t want to go to the gym, but I head there anyhow. Staying away would give Devon that much more power over me. It doesn’t help that I spent all last night dreaming about our kiss, about our fake moment of tenderness.

When I arrive, the first thing I notice is that his car isn’t in the parking lot. Well, Kyra did fire him as her personal trainer. He probably doesn’t have anyone else booked for this time yet, and that is a major relief.

As I go through the motions of changing, exercising, showering, and putting my regular clothes back on—minus my underwear—I can almost divorce my mind from my body and leave my body to do all these menial tasks while my mind drifts unencumbered.

When I head out the door to meet the car that will take me to work, I feel Devon’s presence the moment I’m over the threshold. He’s not near me, and it takes me a moment to locate him.

There, in the corner where he parks his Honda, he stands, leaning against the side of his car, looking at me, saying nothing. Why does he have to be so gorgeous? Even with that sullen stance, he radiates raw sex appeal.

I turn back around and get into the car as if the sight of him means nothing at all, but the truth is, it’s all I can do not to run over to him and beg him for another kiss. I force myself to be logical though. I’ve seen what he does to women who do that.

The next morning, when I arrive at the gym, I run into Devon at the door. He’s on his way in, too, with his gym bag slung over his shoulder.

I square my shoulders and say, “Hi.” My tone is casual, but my heart aches at the sight of him.

He stares at me a long moment before he says, “Hi.”

“How are you?” I ask.

He lifts an eyebrow. “Fine.”

“Good.”

“You?” he asks.

Honestly? I feel like I want to just grab him and kiss him and retreat into that broom closet and never emerge into the cold and lonely world ever again. Either that or somehow rewind time so that we can return to being friends. It now occurs to me that I gave that up for good. Still, I can’t show romantic weakness around him. He is merciless to people who do.

“I’m great,” I say. “Seriously, thank you for helping me out. That was just what I needed.” I toss my hair back over my shoulder and brush past him towards the changing rooms.

I don’t see him for the rest of my time in the gym even though I look for him. I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it. Logic tells me to get a new gym membership elsewhere, but my heart doesn’t want to let go of him completely. I’m a sucker for punishment, apparently.

Besides, all it will take is the sight of him shutting another girl down for me to know for certain that he’s not worth it. It’ll hurt, but it’ll all be for the best. Really. I’m tough. I can handle this.

The third day after our encounter, he’s nowhere to be seen until I step off the elliptical machine. Then he’s right there, handing me my towel and water bottle.

“Hey,” he says. “How are you?”

I take a deep breath and force a smile as if I don’t have a care in the world and he’s just some stranger. “I’m great. How are you?”

“We should talk.”

“I don’t think we have anything to talk about.”

He rolls his eyes. “Please.”

I thought Pie Pops were hard to resist once I got my first taste. Devon takes that to a whole new level.

It takes all of my willpower to make me turn my back to him. “I’ll see you around,” I say.

The fourth day after our encounter, I don’t see him until after I’m done with my workout. Then I walk past every private exercise room and find him in the one with the punching bag. He pounds it like he wants to rip it from its chain and hurl it across the room.

My heart aches even more painfully. I want to open that door and go to him.

But then I don’t want to imagine how that’d play out. I have no idea what he wants to say to me, but given what I’ve heard him say to other women I know it wouldn’t be nice.

Kyra steps around the corner. “Hey. Can I talk to you?”

I glance at my watch, only I’m not wearing one. “I gotta get to work.”

“Later, then?”

“Yes. Yep. Later. I’ll see you later.” I make my escape

“Jess, you have to learn to trust me.” Kevin looks at me as he says this line. We’re at the table reading for next week’s episode.

“I do trust you,” I say. “I just have a very low opinion of your literary skills.”

I finally get it. This isn’t a love story. This is a story about being alone and unhappy and at loose ends and grabbing the nearest person who just
might
be trustworthy because it’s better than being alone. I am fully in my character’s head, and this script, much to my relief, has no kissing or love scenes, just head games. The writers didn’t want to make the audience wait for that first kiss, but they’re going to make them wait for the second.

Makes sense to me. I want to kiss Devon
again
much more than I ever wanted to kiss him in the first place, which is why I’m in deep, deep trouble.

The fifth day after our kiss, I don’t see Devon at the gym at all. The same is true for the sixth day. On the seventh, he’s at the gym but doesn’t even greet me until after my workout is done. Then he catches me in the back hallway when it’s empty, so that it’s just him and me. He grabs my arm to prevent my walking on past.