A Sea of Shields (Book #10 in the Sorcerer's Ring) (12 page)

Luanda
stood there, stunned.

“Of what do you speak? You invited me back home,”
Luanda
pleaded, slowly feeling her world collapse around her. Was this some sort of sick joke?

Gwendolyn shook her head, firm.

“You were summoned back for our mother’s funeral,” Gwen corrected. “At our mother’s request. Not mine. Your sentence has not been lifted. You will return to your home, on your side of the
Highlands
, now.”

Luanda
felt her entire body flush with rage, a prickling of her skin. She felt as if a dagger had been plunged into her heart. She could not even process Gwendolyn’s words, her entire world spinning all around her. Could it be true?

“I am
home
!”
Luanda
insisted, barely thinking clearly, “and I will never go back to the far side of the
Highlands
! Ever!”

Now Gwendolyn reddened, facing her, equally determined.

“The choice is not yours to make,” she said. “Your choice was made for you on the day you betrayed us all. Your punishment deserved death. I was merciful, and gave you exile.”

Luanda
felt like crying.

“And for how long?”
Luanda
asked. “Will you never let me back?”

“You are alive,” Gwendolyn said. “Be grateful for that.”

Luanda
wanted to kill her sister.

“You have become a cruel, cold-hearted Queen,”
Luanda
said. “An awful sister who has forgotten mercy.”

Gwendolyn sneered.

“And did you show mercy the day you offered for Andronicus to kill us all?”

Luanda
frowned.

“Those were different times,” she countered.

Gwendolyn shook her head.

“You have not changed,
Luanda
. And you never will.”

Luanda
stared at her sister, wanting to hurt her somehow. She did not know how, but she had to say something before she left, something that would really strike at her.
Luanda
, reeling, looked down and fixed her eyes on Gwendolyn’s baby.

“I curse your child!”
Luanda
screamed out loud.

A horrified gasp spread through the crowd.

“I curse him that he should suffer the same punishment that I am made to suffer! That you never enjoy his presence as long as you live! That he be taken away from you, that you be divided, never to enjoy him!”
Luanda
screamed, pointing at Guwayne and shaking.

Gwendolyn turned bright red, looking as if she might lunge at her sister.

“Get this creature out of my sight,” Gwendolyn said to her men.

The guards rushed forward, grabbed
Luanda
, and dragged her away.

“NO!” Luanda kicked and screamed as the masses of onlookers stared at her, dragged backwards through the crowd, Bronson trying to get the guards off of her, but unable. “You can’t send me back there! Anywhere but there!”

Luanda
felt her heart sinking as she was dragged, knowing she would be escorted all the way back to the other side of the
Highlands
, to her vision of hell, never allowed to set foot in her home again.

The second sun hung low on the horizon, a huge red ball in the sky, and Selese looked up and watched it, her face covered in tears. In her hand, she clutched the scraps of parchment that she had torn up, the letters curled up in her palm, the ones proving that Reece loved someone else. After tearing them to pieces, she had saved the shredded parchment. After all, it was all that she had left of Reece in the world. It was his handwriting, and despite everything, despite how he had hurt her, she still loved him—more than she could say. And she needed to hold onto something of Reece’s as she came here, to the
Lake
of
Sorrows
.

Selese looked up at the blood red sun and did not look away, staring at it long enough to sting her eyes. She no longer cared. This, she decided, would be the last sun she ever witnessed.

Selese looked out at the
Lake
of
Sorrows
, glowing a bright red, reflecting the sun. It looked alive, as if it were a lake on fire. It sat perfectly still, only a lonely wind passing through, the trees rustling, a high-pitched noise, as if crying, as if knowing what Selese was about to do.

Selese cried and cried as she took her first step into the water, clutching the fragments of Reece’s letter. She thought of all the time she had spent with him, of how alive he had made her feel, of how much she had been looking forward to their wedding, to their life together. Her love for him was so strong, she could barely comprehend it; she would cross the Ring for him, do anything for him. But if he did not love her back as much, she had no desire to live.

Their love had given her life a new purpose, and all these moons preparing for their wedding had swept her up, had been the greatest time in her life. Yet now, she was about to be publicly humiliated, scorned by Reece, his wedding proposal retracted. Embarrassed in front of the entire kingdom when he left her alone at the altar.

It was too much for Selese to comprehend. Not the humiliation, or the scorn—she could handle that—but most of all, Reece’s lack of love for her. It pained her so much to think that he did not love her back. Even worse—that he loved someone else more.

Selese took another step into the water, then another.

Soon, she was up to her knees, clutching the shreds of parchment. The water was cold, unforgiving, despite the summer season, and she began to shiver.

Selese heard the screech of a bird, high up, and she craned her neck to see a falcon circling, screeching. She dimly recognized it as Thorgrin’s falcon. Estopheles. He screeched and screeched, as if trying to convince her not to step any further.

Selese tried to shut out its cries. She looked down at the water before her and took another step, now up to her thighs.

Selese reached out, both fists clutching the torn parchment, and gently placed the pieces in the still waters of the lake. As she opened her hands and let them go, she watched as the little shreds of parchment floated away, farther and farther, until the parchment filled with water, and the pieces began to sink, one at a time. Selese spread open her empty palms and let the cold water touch them.

She took another step.

Then another.

She was up to her chest now. She heard herself crying and crying, her body wracked with sobs. She never thought her life would end in this way. In this place. At this time. Alone. Without Reece.

Life had been so kind to her. And yet it had also been so cruel.

Selese heard another screech, high up in the sky. She turned and floated on her back, drifting, weightless, toward the middle of the lake. She lay perfectly still, floating atop the water, and looked up at the sky.

It was filled with a million streaks of red, the two suns almost touching, the most beautiful sky she had ever seen. She floated on her back for she did not know how long, until finally, slowly, her limbs grew cold, heavy, numb, and she felt herself begin to sink.

She did not fight it. She let the water bring her down until her face was submerged. She closed her eyes and in the icy cold blackness felt her body sinking slowly, deeper and deeper, down to the depths of the
Lake
of
Sorrows
.

One final thought came to her, before her world turned black:

Reece. I love you.

Reece sprinted along the trail in the woods, scratched by branches and not caring, his heart pounding as he made for the
Lake
of
Sorrows
. After his visit with his mother, Reece had realized the wrong of his ways, and had raced through King’s Court searching for Selese, determined to tell her that he loved her, and that he could not wait to marry her.

Reece had decided that his love for Stara had been momentary craziness. Whether his feelings had been real or not, he realized he needed to strike Stara from his mind. He had to be with Selese, regardless of how he might also feel for Stara. It was the right thing, the honorable thing, to do. And he also loved Selese, very, very much. He realized he might not have quite the same level of passion for her, but he also loved Selese in a different way, and while in some ways, his love for her might not be as strong, in other ways, it might just be stronger.

When Reece had arrived at the House of the Sick looking for Selese, he had instead encountered Illepra, who had told him the terrible news: one of Tirus’s sons had paid her a visit, had shown her a scroll, and ever since that moment, Selese had not been the same person. She had been devastated. She had withdrawn into herself, and would not tell Illepra what it was about. All that Illepra knew was that she had fled toward the
Lake
of
Sorrows
. Illepra was baffled.

Illepra handed Reece one of the torn-up fragments of the scrolls, and his blood curdled and his skin grew cold as he recognized his own handwriting. He realized, with shock, that it was an old scroll, from his childhood, professing his love to Stara.

But Selese wouldn’t have known that, he realized. She would assume it was fresh.

Reece realized—it all came washing over him in one horrible moment—that Tirus had set in motion an elaborate treachery; he had sent one of his sons to convince Selese that Reece loved Stara. To tear Reece and Selese apart, to assure Reece ended up with Stara. No doubt, to serve his own purposes. Tirus wanted power—and Reece’s union with Stara would assure that for him.

Reece had flushed with rage and humiliation when he’d realized it all, realized that Selese now thought that he loved Stara and was going to call off their wedding. The thought of how it must have pained her, especially to hear it from a stranger, tore him apart.

When Illepra mentioned the
Lake
of
Sorrows
, Reece immediately thought the worst. He had turned and sprinted for it, and had not stopped sprinting since.

Please, God
, he thought as he ran.
Let her be alive. Just give me one chance, one chance to tell her that I love her, that I will marry her, that Tirus’s scroll was treachery, that it was all a mistake.

Reece ran until his lungs burst, and finally, as the second sun began to dip below the horizon, he burst from the woods, to the shores of the
Lake
of
Sorrows
. Reece had hoped and prayed to see Selese standing there.

But as Reece arrived, his heart dropped to see the shore was empty. He looked down at the sand, and his heart fell to see torn-up fragments of the scroll. He realized that Selese had been here. That she’d held the scroll. Had torn it up. None of this could be good.

Reece looked out at the water, panicking, hoping for any sign of her. Yet still, he saw none. He scanned the treeline, desperate for any indication of her, any sign for where she might have gone. Yet still, there was none.

As the sun dipped lower and twilight spread across the sky, Reece squinted into the darkness, and he spotted an outline of something at the shore of the lake, a figure lying on the sand.

Reece sprinted, his heart pounding, praying it was Selese, and that she was okay.

“Selese!” he called out.

But she did not move.

Reece reached the body and dropped to his knees in the sand beside it, gasping for breath. He turned the body over, praying she was okay.

Please, God. Let this be Selese. Let her be okay. I will give you anything. Anything.

As Reece turned her over, he felt his entire world go numb.

There was Selese. Eyes wide open. Her skin too pale. Her skin, ice to the touch.

Reece leaned back and shrieked to the heavens.

“SELESE!”

Reece broke into sobs as he reached down and hugged her, lifting up her body, holding her tight in his arms as he rocked her back and forth. He wanted with all he had for his warmth to seep into her, to bring her cold, lifeless body back to life. He would give anything. He had been stupid. So stupid. And now this poor girl, who had loved him so much, had paid the price.

“Selese,” he moaned, again and again. “I’m so sorry.”

Reece held her, tighter and tighter, wondering how fate could be so cruel. Why? Why had it all had to happen like this? Why couldn’t he have arrived here just a few minutes sooner? Why couldn’t he have a chance to explain?

It was too late for all of that now. As he held her dead body, he collapsed on the sand with her, his entire body wracked with sobs, knowing that he would never, ever, be the same.