A SEALed Fate (10 page)

Zuly watched that first tear trickle just down past the bridge of his nose and felt her heart break.

“It wasn’t just her death that scarred me, it wasn’t being shot, it was the realization that
she
wasn’t the first casualty, nor would she be the last. She saw me as her savior and I failed. But how many people saw me as nothing more than a killer, and I did exactly what they’d expected?”

“No,” came out on a hoarse whisper. She gripped his face between her palms and pressed her lips to his forehead. “You listen to me, Fitzgerald, and you listen closely because this is the first and last time I’ll say this. You are not, nor will you
ever
be, a murderer. You’re a man who risked his life for fifteen
years
to ensure the safety of millions you don’t even know. You’re a man who has made not only his country but his family and his best friend
proud.
You did the best you could, you did what you were told and I commend you. It takes so much to give up everything so others can safely enjoy the freedom we so casually forget exists. Baby, without men like you our country would be
lost.
You’re a hero, Fitz. A
hero.
That child did not die in vain, and if she looked to you as though you were her savior, I can assure you, there are countless others who would do the same.” She leaned back, kissed the moisture from his cheeks then pressed her lips to his. “Starting with me.”

He didn’t speak, just hugged her to him in a tight embrace, his head pressed to her chest as he took several shuddering breaths. Zuly ran her fingers through his hair. “I love you. And nothing short of a miracle could change that.”

Fitz placed a kiss to her collarbone and nodded.

Slowly Zuly maneuvered until she was out of his arms and standing near the bed. She held out a hand. “C’mon, frogman. I’ll scrub your back.”

With a small grin, he took it.

Ten

Her soft sigh in his ear sent a shudder down his spine as he slowly entered her warmth, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from pushing all the way home. She had to be sore. How many times had he lain her down just like this since they’d gotten back to his cabin? Too many to count. The squeeze of her wetness around him never failed to make his heart skip.

The sensation of her lips pressing to his throat, the feel of her teeth nipping him. Right. There.
Jesus...
He’d never give this up, give up the way her hips lifted, her back arched, the way she panted. Fitz would never give up the way Zuly’s legs gripped him about the waist, her heels digging into his ass as he rode her until she left little half moons in his shoulders with her nails.

“Marry me.” Fitz rasped, mouth pressed to her temple. The last three days had been spent with them doing nothing more than eating, making love, showering, dropping Zuly off to work, rinse and repeat. It was a cycle he was damn happy with. A cycle he could repeat forever. They’d been hiding from reality but that would have to end soon. He’d have to face his family and he’d have to let her out of what he now considered to be
their
bed. Where had the time gone? Fitz was having difficulty reconciling the fact that his living, breathing fantasy was currently under him and clearly had no interest in leaving anytime soon.

When was the last moment he’d allowed himself the simple pleasure of dreaming of a future with Zuly? When was the last moment he convinced himself it was an obtainable,
tangible
thing?

“Mmmm...” Zuly hummed beneath him, bottom lip caught between her teeth.

“Marry me, Z.” Lifting her by the waist, he brought them closer, screwing his hips into her own until she scored his chest with her fingers.

“Fuck...”

“Marry. Me.” He touched her womb, felt her pussy attempting to suck him back in as he withdrew.

“Fitz...I...”

“Say. Yes.” His mouth found hers, tongue tunneling between her lips. “I’ll give you anything, Zuly. All you have to do” —Fitz pulled back, changed the tempo of his thrusts until her quiet gasp told him he’d brushed the spot he was looking for— “is. Say. Yes.”

“Just...need...you... Ahhhh...”

“Tell me, say the words...”

She stared up at him, golden eyes watery. “Yes...”

Fitz lifted one leg higher, moved as much as his knee would allow, fucking her in earnest. “I’m gonna make you so happy.”

“You already–” Her face contorted before she was crying out, her body jerking as her pussy spasmed, clenching his cock and causing his balls to draw up, dredging every ounce of cum from his scrotum in one strong pull.

Fitz grunted, holding her to him until her tremors subsided, then he rolled, taking her with him. Her legs brushed his, the silken touch of her skin on his own causing his eyes to close. “I’ll ask Kam for a reference tomorrow.” It was time. He wasn’t healthy, what he’d been doing to himself wasn’t healthy, and God knew he wanted better. He had to
be
better. Not just for Zuly, or his family, but for himself. There were things Fitz would have to do, places in his mind he’d have to go where no sane man would ever dare to venture, but it was necessary. He understood he would never be completely normal, that he was hardwired differently now, but it was a start.

She was silent for so long that he had to lift his head and look to where she rested against his chest.

Zuly gave him a half smile, eyes so bright that his next exhale left him in a single whoosh. She looked...content. “I think I want a little boy first...”

***

“It’s eight a.m. and you’re growling in my ear, there needs to be a good reason for this...or someone is going to die...
painfully
,” Zuly murmured, her face still buried in a pillow that smelled distinctly of Fitz. Sleep had been eluding her for days now, mostly with the help of Fitz’s overactive genitals. Making up for almost thirty years of lost time was going to kill her...but what a way to go.

“I’m growling because you keep doing that thing where you rub up against me in your sleep...a man can only take but so much.”

Zuly shivered, his sleep-roughened voice causing goose bumps to break out over her skin as she slowly turned until they were face to face. She kissed the tip of his nose and his eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled.

“Good morning.” One large hand swept down her back as those sky-blue orbs focused on her, watching closely.

She brushed his hair back from his forehead, let her fingertips play over his jaw. “Morning...” Walking her hand down his torso, she allowed her palm to brush against the scars lying there, each one from a separate occasion where he risked all he had to save someone else. “How long have you been up?”

“Just an hour.” Leaning in, he rubbed noses with her. “Long enough to wonder why you haven’t run for the hills yet.”

Zuly’s lips curved. “Because I hate running...and if I tried that, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to sit for a week, baby.”

Fitz wrapped his arms around her, huge hands gliding to the cheeks of her ass. He squeezed, and she let out a soft groan as moisture rushed straight to her core. “I’d be gentle.” He swatted the right one and she bit her lip. “At first.”

Why had they not gotten here sooner? Why was so much time wasted analyzing? Overthinking? Worrying? Who knew where they could be right now had one of them just said something?

“Uh-oh, I know that face. You made that face just seconds before you attempted to make Cael feel like a woman for almost causing me to break my leg,” he murmured before kissing the space between her brows. “Why so angry, my little morning muffin?”

She stared at him. “Why didn’t you say anything before? Why’d you wait so long to tell me?”

Fitz sighed, staring at something just over her shoulder. “Lack of confidence, baby. I wanted to come to you like an officer and a gentleman.” He snorted. “In my dress whites with the biggest ring I could afford and the cabin remodeled for all the babies I planned to give you.” Taking a deep breath, he forged on, “But everything changed and I thought to myself,
Who would want me like this? Zuly deserves better; she deserves someone sane.”

She rolled her eyes. “Not sure if you know this, love, but you were never sane to begin with.” At his laugh, she ran her lips down his cheek. “I love that you planned that, that you wanted to do things the right way but all I’ve ever wanted was
you.
Healthy, happy...
alive.”

His crooked grin sent her heart into a small murmur. “Two outta three ain’t bad, right?”

Her kiss to his lips caused them to shudder in unison. “No, baby. Two outta three ain’t bad....”

Fitz gripped her thigh and slipped it just over his hip before he nudged her opening with the tip of his cock, causing Zuly to gasp as he brought it back and forth over her clit until she began to see stars behind her closed lids. Her hands gripped his forearms as he slowly stroked over her nubbin, using her wetness to glide between the folds over her labia but not once entering completely.

“You’re always so ready for me,” Fitz whispered. “Why is that, baby?”

“You make me,” She swallowed to retain the moisture in her mouth. “You make me that way...you’ve
always
made me that way...”

He pressed his lips to her ear. “So all those nights I slept in this bed next to you, or in a sleeping bag, my dick hard enough to split something–”

“Oh, God...”

“–all I had to do was ask?” Nibbling her lobe, he drew a gasp from her.

“Yessss...” Zuly hissed, her hips moving to ride the ridge of his erection, heat building in her core as he began to go a bit faster.

“Were you wet like this when you would lie next to me, Z? Did you want me to touch you?” One hand came up to her chest, his fingers expertly tugging at her nipples before he lowered his head and sucked one into his mouth.

“Yes.”

“Kiss you like this?” He slipped out of reach, swirled his tongue around her belly button then went infinitely lower, running his lips just over her pelvic bone.

“Yes.”

“Like this too?” Fitz pressed his mouth to her clit and flicked it with his tongue, causing her to bite the inside of her cheek. “Did you want me to kiss you here?” He pressed fully inside her, stiffening it until she felt her eyes roll to the back of her head. “Because I would have,” he growled. “Every. Single. Night.”

Her orgasm broke over her in what felt like a crashing wave. Chest heaving, she vaguely felt him slide into her, gripping her about the waist to keep her pinned until that familiar warmth spread from her womb, fanning outward as she called his name on a cry.

“But we have plenty of time to make up for that don’t we?” He whispered, staring down at her. “Yeah...plenty of time...”

Eleven

“Are you positive you’re ready to do this?”

Fitz squeezed Zuly’s hand as they made their way up his parents’ front steps. “You’ve been asking me that since we left the cabin.” They finally had to abandon their little haven where they’d begun to learn one another in new and old ways. There was something about this woman that was simply addictive; something he could never give up. Something he
wouldn’t
ever give up. He had her; he was keeping her.
Forever.
And God help anyone who thought they were strong enough to come between them.

“I just wanna make sure–”

“Z,” he cut in, turning toward her a bit. “I can’t hide forever. You said so yourself.” Swallowing, he looked back toward the front steps. “And you were right. There are plenty of things I’m sure they won’t completely understand but how can anybody help me if I don’t ask for it?”

She looked as though she were just about to respond to that when the screen door burst open and little Maria bounded down the stairs. “Auntie Z!”

Zuly dropped his hand and caught the girl, swinging her up and around as she laughed. The door opened again and out came Riley, face set in a grim expression as he watched from the steps. Every footfall that he took toward them caused a muscle in Fitz’s body to tense, preparing for the blow he knew was coming. As his oldest brother got closer, Zuly stepped in front of him, Maria still tucked away in her arms.

“Riley–” she tried, just to be cut off when the other man calmly moved her out of his way.

Then he was there, standing before Fitz, staring at him. Eyes the same shade as his own assessing him in a way that was foreign but surprisingly familiar all at the same time. Maybe this was how Riley stared down at him on the day Fitz was born? Maybe this same stare, this familiar yet foreign thing was a distant memory?

Something happened in that moment that Fitz would
never
forget. It would
never
fade. His brother. His brick-built, strong, unshakable, brother. The brother who had taught him so much. The brother who had defended him, bullied him, informed him about the confusing ways of girls and football...started to cry.

Riley gripped Fitz by the shoulders and pulled him into the fiercest hug a man could ever give. And that was when Fitz finally understood. He finally grasped how much it had hurt his siblings that he hadn’t been able to come to them, talk to them, heal with them. He finally understood that not many soldiers and surely
not many SEALs had the advantage, the blessing, of a family that cared,
loved,
as much as his own. So he didn’t move—he didn’t even blink. He simply hugged him back and felt his last bit of pride shatter a bit as his eyes watered and spilled over. How many times had he wondered if he’d ever get to do this again? Be with his family again?

How many times had he wondered if they’d forget about him, let him fade off into a distant memory, mourn his loss should he die out in God-knows-where? How many times had he allowed himself the luxury of remembering what they were like as boys? As best friends? How many times had he stopped to really consider that there was almost
nothing
he could do to disappoint these people? These parts of himself?