A Secret to Keep (19 page)

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh, but the way she acted last night…” Sloane trailed off. She loved the smile plastered on Gates’ face. It was nice to see him relax for a change and it reminded her of happier times between them.

“But what?” Gates pressed Sloane to finish her thought.

“Uh, nothing.” She caught herself and thought better of telling him how she really felt. That she hated seeing Allie all snuggled up to him. She stood from her spot on the bench and started to walk towards the bridge they crossed earlier.

“Come on, no secrets.” She could hear him walk up behind her.

“Really, it’s nothing. I know she’s always wanted you, so I figured you two were closer than just friends.” She inwardly cringed at his request for no secrets. She’d been trying to figure out the best way to tell him about Brayden, but it wasn’t easy finding a way to segue it into the conversation.

“You thought I wanted Allie?”

She shrugged and glanced up at him before looking at her hands and their usual nervous motions.

“Well, yeah. She was always around and I’ve seen you with her in pictures, so…”

“Sloane. I’ve never been interested in Allie. If anything, I’ve had to deal with her because my father set up a business deal before he died with her father. It pretty much put me in charge of all of his real estate holdings. I’ve been handling all of that for Allie since her father passed away recently.”

“What?” Sloane was dumbfounded at Gates admission. How could she have been so wrong about the relationship, or actual non-existence of a relationship, between Gates and Allie? “I thought…”

“You thought what?”

“Uh, nothing. Anyway, I’m glad we had the chance to do lunch.” She quickly deflected, trying to recover.

“Me too. It was nice being able to talk to you and hang out. Kinda like old times.”

“Yes it is.”

“I should probably get you back. I don’t want you to keep secrets from Chase about us having lunch and walking through the park together. Secrets in a relationship don’t make for a good mix.” He recounted, and she could feel her heart lodge itself between her ribs and stop. If he only knew the enormous secret she’d been keeping from him.

“Chase is fine. However, I didn’t realize we’d been gone this long. I’m sure you probably need to get back too. Gelly will think I’ve kidnapped you for sure.” She rambled, trying her best to change the subject and get the attention off of her.

“I think you tend to forget I own the place.” He said, extending his hand to her as they started across the bridge.

“Yeah, right, you do, don’t you?” She quipped, remembering how he’d told her the same thing when they were together.

“So, what time is your flight tomorrow? Not that I want to see you leave so soon.”

“At eight.” Sloane glanced at him and noticed he looked as relaxed as the day they’d spent in Charleston. It was like all of the animosity and hurt had faded and they were able to talk like old friends again.

“I’m pretty sure your little one will be glad to see you; and you’re probably missing him too.”

Feeling her heart finally start beating again, she felt a little caught off guard with his mention of Brayden. “Yes. I am ready to get back to him.” As they walked, she noticed he never let go of her hand and she figured maybe this was as good of a time as any to come clean. “Gates?” They were getting along so well and maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t be too mad at her.

“Yes.” She only saw sincerity in his eyes, when she abruptly turned to face him. It was that look she’d missed for so long and she knew she owed him the truth.

“I wanted to-” Just then she heard his phone ring and he reached in his pocket and looked at the screen.

He hesitated then looked over at her. “Uh, sorry, it’s Evan.”

“Oh, no, go ahead. Answer it.”

“You sure? I can-”

“Yeah. I’m sure if Evan’s calling, it’s important.” She shrugged, urging him to answer the phone.

Taking a deep breath, he hit the answer button. “Hey.”

She listened to him talk into the receiver and could tell it must be an important call because he turned and walked a few steps away and she could see the tension return to his face as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Are you sure?” Sloane grimaced when he turned back to look at her before she moved to get into the car. “I’m on my way back now.”

She watched him through the rear window continue his animated call with Evan. She could tell from his body language things weren’t quite going the way he wanted them to. He finally took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair as he hung up the phone and joined her in the car.

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay. I know you’re busy.” She looked down at her hands in her lap, thinking about how close she’d come to spilling her guts. Maybe it was better this way. Something was always going to come up. Something more important than her or Brayden.

“So what were you saying?”

“Oh it was nothing. I wanted to say thanks for lunch and I’m glad we got a chance to talk, that’s all.” She knew she was lying and should’ve gone ahead and taken the opportunity to tell him the truth, but seeing how his business always seemed to take precedence over everything only drove home her point that he was way too busy for a child in his life. As the driver pulled the car in front of her hotel, Gates reached out to touch Sloane’s arm as she started to exit the car. Turning back towards him, she waited for him to say something.

“Sloane, I know things between us haven’t always been the best, especially this past year. And I know you’re engaged to Chase and believe me I would never do anything to disrespect the relationship you have with him, but I don’t want to lose you…I mean, contact with you again. Do you think it’s possible we could at least stay in touch?”

“I, I don’t know Gates. I mean, you’re right. Things are different for us now. I don’t think that’d be a good idea.” She’d realized once they’d left the park that she couldn’t change things between them and she was going to have to live with the decisions she’d made.
God, please forgive me for this.
She opened the door and stepped out of the car.
If I can make it to the door, I won’t look back. I’ll just keep going and he won’t ever know. I know it’s wrong, but...

“Sloane?” She stopped in her tracks hearing him call her name and she turned to watch him exit the car. She looked in his eyes and felt her resolve melting.

“Look, I know I have no right to ask you to keep in touch after everything. So…here.” He walked closer and took her hand in his and placed a small black box in her palm. “I want you to have this.”

“What is it?” She looked up to see his eyes trained on hers.

“I picked it up for you. The day you left. I knew that day when I left to meet Victor that I hurt you. I seemed to always do that to you and I wanted to show you how sorry I was and how committed I was. I hated what I did to our relationship. At the time, I thought I was doing what was best.”

“You kept this since that day?” She clutched the box turning it over in her hands and seeing him nod.

“Yeah, I guess in some way, I thought maybe you’d come back. But you didn’t…and then, well, it started to serve as a reminder that I’d messed up the best thing that had ever happened to me.” Sloane’s mouth went drier than a dust storm in the desert as she listened.
The best thing that had ever happened to him.

“Gates-”

“Just open it.”

Turning the box over in her hands, she opened the top and gasped at the bracelet and charm lying against white satin. Taking it out of the box, she realized the charm was a tiny silver baby rattle. Looking up at him with puzzled eyes, Sloane waited for Gates’ explanation. “A baby rattle?”

“Yes. The last night we were together we took a walk after dinner. You remember? You were in one of those moods where you ‘wanted to feel the wind on your face and know you were alive’.” He grinned at her and she felt the muscles tugging at the corners of her mouth as she thought back to that night and their walk.

“I can’t believe you remember that.” She continued to look at the charm bracelet in her hand and admired how beautiful it was as she listened to him.

“I loved how happy you were when you stopped and looked in that jewelry store window. I didn’t know what you were stopping for at first, but then I saw you were staring at a platinum baby rattle. And all I could think at that moment was how I wanted a family…with you.”

Sloane looked into Gates’ eyes. Her heart beat once, then twice, and for a moment she swore it stopped. For the first time in her life she finally knew what time standing still truly felt like. “What?” It was like everything she’d ever thought about him was wrong. She believed he didn’t want children. That he was only committed to his work. Stunned, she felt like her feet were anchored in the sidewalk and she had no clue how to react.

“Look, I told you I have no illusions about us. I know you’re in love with someone else now and you two have a son together. I messed up with you. I put everything before you and if I truly loved you the way you deserved, hell, we’d be married and I’d be your son’s father.” He paused and Sloane felt instant pain behind her eyes. She blinked quickly to keep the tears that were promising to fall at bay. “I wanted to let you know I’m happy for you. I wanted to be the one to add charms to that bracelet for you,” he said wistfully and motioned to the bauble she held in her hands. “But now, you’ve found someone else who can do that. You found someone who puts you first and someone you could have a family with. You deserve it.” He gently leaned over and kissed her forehead. She looked at him with wide eyes and before she could respond, he stroked her chin with his forefinger, tapped her gently on the tip of her nose and strode back to the awaiting car.

“Gates?” She watched him stop and turn back towards her.
Don’t do it Sloane.
She knew it was dangerous to even entertain the idea of getting close to him again. She was so close to being able to get what she wanted and to live her life with her son and never have to tell his father the truth, but was that really what she wanted? At this point, her head was swimming and the possibility of being close to Gates again was pulling her under. “I’d like to keep in touch…I mean if you really want.”
You fool. What are you doing?

“Great. I’d like that. I’ll talk to you soon.” She watched him light up as he disappeared into the car.

Watching it pull away, she sighed before looking at the keepsake in her hand again. “Great.”

###

“So, how’d it go?” Liyah had barely given Sloane time to get settled in for the day before she’d walked in her office and plopped down in the chair in front of her.

“Good, but you won’t believe who was at the awards banquet.” She reached over and logged into her computer then sat back in her chair.

“Who?”

“Gates. I mean, I should have guessed he would be since he’s the developer for the project, but-”

“Whaaaaat?” Liyah sat forward looking at Sloane with a sly grin.

“Yeah. And before you get all giddy, he was with Allie Gentry.” It still made her sick to her stomach to think of Allie wound around Gates like the string on a yo-yo. Even though he’d told her Allie meant nothing to him, it didn’t set well with her.

“You’re kidding me? When did they start dating? Are you okay?” Sloane watched the grin plastered on Liyah’s face slowly fade.

“I’m fine. Really. Gates told me at lunch later that Allie was just a friend. No big deal.”

“Whoa, wait a minute; put the horse before the cart. What’re you talking about, Gates told you at lunch? You’re leaving a lot out here missy.” Liyah crossed her arms and sat back in the chair.

“Liyah, I am in way over my head.” Sloane started to fill Liyah in about the terrace and the conversation between her and Allie. And how Gates had played right into the confrontation and confirmed their lunch ‘date’ in front of Allie, making her madder than a rodeo bull.

“Oh wow, to be a fly on the wall. That had to be priceless. I wish I could’ve seen that hussy’s face,” Liyah laughed as Sloane continued with the remaining parts of the lunch date, the charm bracelet and how he’d asked her to keep in touch.

“So? You left it at that? Sloane, what’s wrong with you?”

“What else was I supposed to say Liyah?” She watched Liyah stand up and start to pace back and forth in front of her desk.

“Are you kidding me? Sloane, he practically said he still loves you and wants to be with you and you don’t jump into his arms? Are you crazy? You could’ve told him that Brayden was his and he would’ve probably asked you to marry him on the spot.”

“I panicked. I wasn’t expecting him to say he wanted a family with me. Or that Allie was just a friend. All of this, everything I ever thought about Gates is wrong.” Sloane shook her head. It wasn’t like she hadn’t kicked herself enough while replaying their last conversation, but she had to be realistic about the situation. She’d still kept a secret from Gates. A pretty big one and it wasn’t something she could go into lightly.

“You had the perfect opportunity to tell Gates about Brayden and you blew it.”

“Liyah, I froze. I was in shock. What was I supposed to do? I’ve been kicking myself over this since then, but I don’t know, maybe it’s for the best. Right after lunch, he got a call he had to take. Business is always going to be first with him.”