A Secret to Keep (28 page)

Ringing the doorbell, he stood back and waited for Sloane to come and answer the door. Glancing around the yard and at the house, he thought it fit her perfectly. He’d been in such a hurry the first time he visited, but now he had a chance to really take it all in. It wasn’t too big or ostentatious. It was purely Sloane. Simple and elegant; just like she was. He’d always loved that about her.

He heard the door open and he turned to see a wet grin plastered on his little boy’s face while he perched comfortably on Sloane’s hip.

“Hey, you made it.” He watched her shift Brayden to the other hip.

“Yeah, I’m early. I hope that’s all right.”

“It’s fine. Come on in.” She ushered him into the living room and Gates took a seat on the sofa and looked around at the pictures of Brayden littering every wall, something he’d missed the last time he was in her living room. He finally settled his eyes on Brayden as Sloane placed him in the middle of them on the sofa. Gates was amazed to see himself reflected in the little boy’s face. The eyes that had seemed so familiar to him before were the same as the ones he saw every day in the mirror.

“He’s getting big.” The little boy crawled closer to Gates and sat on his knees before he started to pull himself up on the back of the sofa.

“Definitely. He’s a handful.”

“Hey.” Gates spoke to the little boy, who was now leaning against the sofa and trying his best to chew on the cushions. Gates couldn’t help noticing how beautiful Sloane looked as well. She’d met him at the door with a plain white button down shirt, a pair of jeans and black flats. Her hair was pulled back in a simple ponytail but she was as elegant as the night he’d seen her in New York.

“Who’s that, huh? Do you know who that is?” Brayden grinned from ear to ear showing off his two teeth in the bottom of his mouth as he turned towards his father. “That’s your daddy, sweetheart.” Glancing at Sloane, Gates noticed the tears in her eyes threatening to pop out at any time, and he felt a lump in his throat at the sound of his ‘new’ title.
Daddy.
He had to admit, he really liked the sound of it. And when the little boy, clad in jeans and an
Elmo
t-shirt, looked at him and gurgled “Da,” he was overcome with more pride than he’d ever felt. The flood of emotions he felt watching his son and being near the woman who’d given him this precious gift was overwhelming.

Sloane watched Brayden crawl closer to Gates and lean against him. “Da.” The little boy babbled as Gates cleared his throat and awkwardly reached out to place him in his lap. Brayden continued with his endless string of baby slang, as Sloane termed it, and Gates slowly relaxed and began entertaining the little boy by acting like they were having a conversation. Brayden reached up and placed his hand on Gates’ face.

“Is that right? Well, I’m glad you told me. You and I will have to keep that secret to ourselves.” Gates played along with Brayden with a semi-serious face and listened intently to the boy’s babble.

“Oh no. There’ll be no ganging up on mommy.” Gates looked up to see Sloane wipe the escaping tears from her eyes.

“Hey, no crying. Tell mommy she can’t cry because you might start crying and I won’t know what to do.” Gates turned the little boy around to see his mother. Holding his face close to Brayden’s, he could see Sloane fighting back her emotions at the obvious resemblance of the two.

“Believe me, you’d figure it out. But mommy’s okay. She’s just really happy,” Sloane managed to say. The little boy dissolved into a fit of giggles when Sloane reached over and tickled his belly and he turned to reach for the safe haven of his father’s lap. “Oh, so you think I can’t get to you now huh?” Gates laughed when the little boy hid his face in his chest.

“Mommy’s coming after you.” It was funny how kids seem to think if they couldn’t see you then you couldn’t see them. “He’s
an active little guy.”

“Oh yes. He’s constantly trying to stand on his own, so I’m pretty sure he’ll be walking and running soon. Then, I’ll really have a hard time keeping up with him and keeping him out of things.” Sloane reached over and handed Brayden the blue plastic block he was playing with earlier. Gates watched the little boy sit and place the block in his mouth. “He’s chewing on everything too. Those two teeth get a real work out.”

“I see.”

“Are you okay with him? I mean, I need to finish dinner if that’s okay and you’re comfortable with him alone. Have you eaten?”

“Oh, uh, no I haven’t. Do you need any help?” He was starting to feel more comfortable holding the little boy who seemed pretty content in his arms.

“No, I got it. You spend time with your son.” She stood and watched him and Brayden for a moment before retreating to the kitchen.

“Well I guess it’s you and me buddy. What should we do?” Gates grinned when Brayden pointed to a basket full of toys on the opposite wall. Obviously, he was well aware of the fact he had his father’s full attention.

As Sloane walked into the kitchen, her phone rang. “Hello?”

“Hi sweetie. I just wanted to check on you.”

“Hi Auntie. I think it’s more like you wanted to see if Gates showed up.”

“Judging by how quiet you’re talking, I’m guessing he made it.”

Sloane leaned around the corner to see Gates on the floor playing with Brayden; who was steadily pulling his toys from the basket. “Yes, he’s here and he’s on the floor playing with Brayden.”

“Who’s on the floor? Gates?”

“Yes. Gates.”

“Well honey, this is almost like a fairy tale. This is what you wished for and now you have everything you wanted.”

“Yeah, almost.”

###

“Man that kid has some energy.”

“He wears even the best of them down.” They enjoyed a nice quiet dinner and Gates experienced firsthand the independence of his son and his attempts to feed himself during dinner. Of course, most of his food ended up on him or on the high chair, but it didn’t stop him from continuously trying to eat on his own. Once dinner was done, Gates helped Sloane give Brayden a bath and he splashed and giggled throughout the entire thing. Usually she dreaded bath time because she knew he would splash and get her wet and then wouldn’t want to get out of the tub, but there was something about sharing the time with Gates that made it special. He splashed Brayden back and pretty much kept the baby entertained during the entire bath. So much so, Sloane had a much easier time actually bathing him. After they finished the bath, they got him dressed for bed and no sooner than his pajamas were on, the little boy lay his head down and was asleep within minutes. “You did a pretty good job of wearing him out.” She looked back at him as they entered the living room.

“He’s amazing. He’s so smart and so independent. It’s kind of scary.” She watched Gates take a seat on the sofa and pick up the picture of her and Brayden from the coffee table.

“I know. I’m always worried about the fact he never meets a stranger. I don’t want to keep him from being friendly, but I don’t want him feeling so comfortable that he would end up walking off with anyone either.” She watched him examining the picture and noticed the softness in his eyes as he took in every detail of his son. She was secretly proud of how much Brayden resembled Gates and how much of his personality he had from his father. She was glad the secret was no longer a secret and that Gates was going to get an opportunity to be a father. Brayden’s father.

“Sloane, before I forget, I really do appreciate you letting me come and spend time with Brayden. I could’ve easily stayed at a hotel.” He placed the picture back on the table and focused his gaze on her.

“Gates, you don’t have to thank me. It’s no problem.” Sitting with him on the sofa, she was surprised at how at ease she felt. She wasn’t sure how things were going to go when he first showed up on the front porch and now she wondered why she ever worried. “I have the room and I know you don’t like hotels anyway. Plus, I figured you’d like to be able to be here when he wakes up in the morning. That way you get to experience as much as you can with him.”

“Thanks. I hope I can make up for lost time.” He stood and walked to the mantel to look at a row of pictures of her and Brayden.

“Gates, I’m really sorry about-”

He turned to look at her cutting her off. “No apologies okay. We’re past that. Let’s just focus on the present and the future.” He lowered his eyes to the floor and clasped his hands together and she watched him in deep thought before he looked up to meet her eyes. “You made the decisions you felt needed to be made in Brayden’s best interests and I can’t be mad at you for that. It’s not like I really gave you any reasons to think I would be a good father to him.”

“Gates, I wish I could go back and change things,” she paused. The guilt that lay on her heart kept her from being able to look him in the eye. “I made assumptions and let my insecurities interfere. That’s where I made a mistake. I should have told you and let you make the decision instead of making it for you.” She continued looking down at her hands clasped in her lap, reeling from the incredible weight of the shame she felt.

“There is no reason for you to blame only yourself.” It was like he read her mind and she could feel his eyes on her but she still couldn’t bring herself to look at him. “I had a hand in this too. The thing that helps the most is knowing how great you are with Brayden. I’m glad he has you.”

She timidly lifted her head. “Thank you. Look I was going to wait until later, but...there’s something I want you to see.” She stood and walked over to a side table in the corner of the room and picked up a flat white box. Walking back to the sofa, she waited for him to take a seat beside her before handing him the box.

“I wasn’t expecting gifts.”

“Just open it.” She urged as he sat hesitant with the box in his lap. “Go ahead.”

Slipping the top off, Gates reached in and pulled out a photo album.

“What’s this?”

“I kept a scrap book of Brayden from the time I found out I was having him until now. I want you to have it. I know it doesn’t begin to make up for all you’ve missed, but-”

“It’s perfect.” She watched his expression brighten as he opened the book to the first page of a picture of Sloane’s ultrasound and the caption under it read, ‘It’s a Boy’. A pang of guilt rattled around her insides and she wondered if it would ever go away.

Gates flipped slowly through the book, taking in every photo and caption of Brayden and listened intently as Sloane explained and gave him details about their son. She wiped tears that slipped down her face as she noticed he seemed to linger in the beginning of the book at the pictures of her as Brayden grew in her stomach.

“Wow. Now I understand what they mean by a pregnant woman having a glow. You were absolutely beautiful.” He whispered as his fingers trailed over the photo. “Are you sure you want to give this to me? This has everything-”

“Yes. You should have it.”

“Thank you. This is amazing. You really have done a great job with him.” He closed the album and placed it on the coffee table before shifting to look at her.

“Thanks. I had some help though.”

“He’s really happy.”

“Gates?”

“Yes?” She swallowed hard as his intense eyes washed over her. She felt so much emotion flowing through her and she was suddenly nervous. There were so many things she wanted to know, but was afraid to ask.

“Why did you drop the case? You had everything to win. I know you said it was in Brayden’s best interests, but…”

Sighing, Gates lowered his eyes momentarily from her gaze, “It was in his best interests. A wise person reminded me to put Brayden’s feelings above my own. Taking him from you would’ve been the worst mistake I could’ve made. It would have been like what my father did to my mother. Being here with him today, I know he would’ve ended up resenting me the same way I resent Victor. I had to break the cycle.”

“But-”

“Brayden’s happy right here…with you,” he said, placing his hand on hers, which were in their usual nervous state and he smiled, trying to reassure her. “It wasn’t fair of me to try and take him from his home. You were right. I did turn into Victor and I hate it worse than anything. I didn’t know how to stop it. I put other things ahead of you that I thought were important, but they weren’t. I understand that now more than ever sitting here and looking at the stuff I missed with you and Brayden. It’s my own fault and I have to live with it, but it doesn’t mean he has to suffer because of my choices.”

They sat in silence for a moment as she took in his explanation. She hated the fact he was being so hard on himself. Sloane knew Gates’ heart and knew he was a good person at his core. He’d proved that by spending time with his son and wanting to be a part of his life.

“Were you really going to ruin my friends’ reputations to win?”

Gates pushed himself up from the sofa and walked back to the mantel. She watched him scrub his face with his hands and then jam them into his pockets before his shoulders slumped and he turned. “I didn’t know about Jax’s visit to you. I didn’t tell him to do it. I hope you know that. When I found out, I fired him and I realized I needed to back off.”

“I have to admit, I was considering giving up when Jax showed up in my office. I was sure I had no chance at all and…that you hated me.”