A Serious Man (13 page)
Authors: Joel Coen
… Vayidaber adonai al Moshe b’har Si –
Danny erupts:
DANNY
Vayidaber adonai al Moshe b’har Sinai laymor …
PROMPTER
Mm-hm.
Danny continues to boom out the Torah portion, tracking the yad
along the line of text
.
In the congregation, Larry and Judith watch. We hear Danny chanting
fluently and Larry squeezes the hand Judith has laced through his arm
.
Judith whispers:
JUDITH
I’m sorry that … things have been so hard for us …
LARRY
It’s okay.
JUDITH
Sy had so much respect for you, Larry.
He pats her hand
.
A beat
.
… He wrote letters to the tenure committee.
The congregation is loudly singing
V’Zos Hatorah
. Danny is now
seated in a highbacked chair upstage on the bema
.
His point-
of-
view: a tallised man of late middle age hoists the open
scroll off the lectern and turns as he raises the Torah high to display it.
The man is sweating. The heavy scrolls vibrate with his effort to keep
them aloft. As the congregation continues to sing we hear him mutter:
MAN
Jesus Christ …
Danny stands at the lectern facing Rabbi Nachtner who holds out to
him a small kiddush cup
.
Although Rabbi Nachtner seems to be addressing Danny, he is
projecting loudly
.
NACHTNER
… taking your place as a member of our tribe. You will go and see Rabbi Marshak after the service. You will cele brate in a reception downstairs in Schanfield Hall. And then you will be a member of B’Nai Abraham and of the Nation of Israel. Danny Gopnik, the Sisterhood makes a gift to you of this kiddush cup so that you will remember this blessed day on the next shabbas and the next, and on every shabbas of a long and fruitful life, and, until that wonderful day when you stand under the
chupa
, we say …
CONGREGATION
Amen.
Danny, still red-eyed, tries to focus
.
His point-
of-
view shows the kiddush cup large in the foreground,
extended by the beaming rabbi
.
His own hand rises into frame to grasp the cup
.
The congregation starts
Adon Olam.
Creaking open. The cut has snapped off the robust Adon Olam,
leaving sepulchral quiet
.
Danny, clutching his kiddush cup, hesitantly enters the dim study.
Marshak’s elderly Eastern European gatekeeper closes the door behind
him
.
Marshak is an old man staring at him from behind a bare desktop.
His look, eyes magnified by thick glasses, is impossible to read
.
Danny creeps to the chair facing the desk. He gingerly sits on the
squeaking leather upholstery, self-conscious under Marshak’s stare
.
Marshak’s slow, regular, phlegmy mouth-breathing is the only sound
in the room
.
A long beat. The two stare at each other
.
Marshak smacks his lips a couple of times, wetting surfaces in
preparation for speach
.
Another beat
.
Finally:
MARSHAK
When the truth is found. To be lies.
He pauses. He clears his throat
.
At length:
… And all the hope. Within you dies.
Another beat. Danny waits. Marshak stares
.
He smacks his lips again. He thinks.
… Then what?
Danny doesn’t answer. It is unclear whether answer is expected
.
Quiet
.
Marshak clears his throat with a loud and thorough hawking
.
The hawking abates. Marshak sniffs
.
… Grace Slick. Marty Balin. Paul Kanta. Jorma … somethin’. These are the membas of the Airplane.
He nods a couple of times.
… Interesting.
He reaches up and slowly opens his desk drawer. He withdraws
something. He lays it on the bare desk and pushes it across.
… Here.
It is Danny’s radio
.
… Be a good boy.
LARRY’S OFFICE
Larry is at his desk, sorting through mail
.
ARLEN FINKLE
(
off
)
Danny was magnificent.
Larry looks up: Arlen leans in his accustomed spot in the office
doorway
.
LARRY
Oh. Thank you, Arlen.
ARLEN FINKLE
Mazel tov. It was wonderful.
LARRY
Yes it was. Thank you.
ARLEN FINKLE
Such a time of
nachas
, Larry. He’s your youngest. You have to savor it.
LARRY
I do. I will.
ARLEN FINKLE
See you at the staff caf.
LARRY
Yes.
Arlen shoves off to go, but hesitates
.
ARLEN FINKLE
I just … I shouldn’t tell you. I’m not telling you officially. The tenure candidates aren’t notified till Monday.
LARRY
… Yes?
Arlen nods
.
ARLEN FINKLE
You’ll be very pleased.
Larry stares at him
.
LARRY
Thank you, Arlen.
Arlen goes, calling without looking back:
ARLEN FINKLE
I didn’t say anything. Mazel tov.
Distant thunder at the cut
.
We are tracking behind Marshak’s tea lady as she shuffles down the
hall, clutching a stack of papers
.
Mail in front of him
.
He opens an envelope: from “Ronald Meshbesher, Esq
.”
In it is a letter headed: “Retainer Agreement
.”
Underneath is an invoice. The amount: $3,000
.
Arriving rain begins to patter at the window
.
The teacher leads the class in drill
.
Danny has a book tilted toward him on his desktop. It once again
hides his radio, the earpiece of which is once again in his ear
.
The door opens and the tea lady shuffles to the teacher. She hands him
a sheet from off her stack
.
The teacher puts on reading glasses and inspects it. As he reads,
thunder crashes, closer
.
He fingers the invoice
.
Close on a printed detail, “Payable”, and, typed underneath: “Upon
Receipt”
.
Wind whips rain against the window
.
The teacher taps the desktop for attention
.
TEACHER
Chaverim
, there’s a tornado warning from the weather service. Rabbi Marshak has decided to move us over to the basement of the shul …
Hubbub in the classrooom
.
… Sheket. Sheket
. We’re gonna form two lines. This is orderly.
Hakol b’seder
.
He stares down at his desktop
.
Thunder
.
He reaches up and scratches his nose, staring
.
On the desk: a ledger sheet with a list of students’ names. Next to each
name, a grade
.
Larry drums his fingers
.
He picks up a pencil
.
He goes down to “Park, Clive”. Next to it is an F
.
He waggles the pencil, eraser-end thumping the sheet
.
He erases the “F”. He enters a “C”
.
The pencil leaves frame. We hold on the new grade
.
After a beat the hand re-enters to put a minus sign after the “C”
.
The hand withdraws
.
The phone jangles, harshly
.
Larry looks at it, frozen
.
He lets it ring a couple times
.
He reaches for it. He hesitantly unprongs it
.
LARRY
… Hello?
VOICE
Larry?
LARRY
… Yes?
VOICE
Hi, Len Shapiro.
LARRY
Oh. Hello, Dr. Shapiro.
DR. SHAPIRO
Listen, mazel tov on Danny.
LARRY
Yes, thank you.
DR. SHAPIRO
Listen, could you come in to discuss these X-ray results?
Larry sits frozen, phone to his ear.
… Hello?
LARRY
Yes?
DR. SHAPIRO
Larry, could you come in and discuss these X-ray results? Remember the X-rays we took?
LARRY
… We can’t discuss them on the phone?
Thunder. Pattering rain
.
DR. SHAPIRO
I think we’d be more comfortable in person. Can you come in?
A beat
.
LARRY
When?
DR. SHAPIRO
Now. Now is good. I’ve cleared some time now.
It is overcast, dark, and extremely windy. The students mill about in
flapping clothes, Danny with his radio earpiece still in place
.
A teacher is fumbling with keys at the door to the shul
.
Mark Sallerson shouts above the wind:
MARK SALLERSON
That fucking flag is gonna rip right off the flagpole!
We are looking at Larry through a windshield lashed by rain. He
drives with hands clenched on the wheel. Wipers pump to keep up with
the rain. The cars behind have their lights on. It has gotten quite dark
.
Passing street lights rhythmically sweep Larry’s face, their light stippled
and bent by the rain on the windows
.
Danny’s head bobs in time to the music. Wind whips his hair. We hear,
very compressed, the beginning of “Somebody to Love
”.
Danny spots a shaggy-haired youth among the milling students
.
DANNY
Hey! Fagle!
Danny notices something past Fagle: a funnel cloud in the middle
distance
.
A growing rumble. The tornado is approaching
.
At the first downbeat of its chorus the Jefferson Airplane song bumps
up full
.
We cut to black, and credits
.
BLOOD SIMPLE
&
RAISING ARIZONA
BARTON FINK & MILLERS CROSSING
THE HUDSUCKER PROXY
FARGO THE BIG LEBOWSKI
O BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU?
THE MAN WHO WASNT THERE
INTOLERABLE CRUELTY
THE LADYKILLERS
BURN AFTER READING
COLLECTED SCREENPLAYS 1
of related interest
THE MAKING OF JOEL & ETHAN COEN’S
The Big Lebowski
text by William Preston Robertson
edited by Tricia Cooke
First published in 2009
by Faber and Faber Ltd
Bloomsbury House
74–77 Great Russell Street
London WC1B 3DA
This ebook edition first published in 2009
All rights reserved
© Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, 2009
The right of Ethan Coen and Joel Coen to be identified as authors of this work has been asserted in accordance with Section 77 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988
This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights, and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly
ISBN 978–0–571–25533–7