A Shade of Kiev 3 (4 page)

I
wasn’t
sure that I’d ever be able to get that vampire out of my subconscious. But I knew that I had to try, or I would fail to become powerful enough to break free from Rhys. To become a true Channeler of our Ancients.

I just have to hope that I make it out the other end.

I waited until after that night’s ritual to tell Rhys. As we crossed the courtyard heading back to our room, I gripped his arm and tugged him to a stop. He looked at me questioningly. I led him to the fountain and stopped in front of it.

I slipped both of my hands into his. Looking down at the ground, I cleared my throat.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said.” My voice trembled as I spoke. “I’ll do it. I’ll stop resisting.”

His black eyes bored into me. His thumb reached beneath my chin and pushed my head up so that I was forced to face him.

“You know what this means, right?”

I nodded, my throat drying out.

“Why do you want this?”

“I want to stop living my life in limbo,” I whispered, shutting my eyes.

It’s too painful.

He breathed out. “I’ve been telling you to take this leap since the beginning. What’s made you decide now?”

“Because I want to be yours, Rhys. I know we are bonded, but that doesn’t make me truly yours until I’ve become like you.”

“Why do you want me now? What’s changed since you returned to me?”

I bit my lip.

“I’m not sure. I just know something has changed.” I winced at how unconvincing I sounded.

He crossed his arms over his chest, frowning at me.

“Mona, I have to be sure you really are ready for this. Because once we start, there’s no going back. You either complete this successfully and gain the ability to channel our Ancients’ power, or you break.”

“I-I understand,” I stammered.

He stared at me long and hard. Then he took my hand and transported us back to our bedroom.

“Sit down,” he ordered.

I sat on the bed.

He bent down to my level and gripped my jaw. “You’re fearful,” he said. “That’s not a good first sign.”

I bit my lip.

“This fear must go. You need to welcome this challenge with open arms, not fearing it.”

He stood up abruptly.

“Get up.”

“What?”

“Walk over to the balcony.”

I stared at him, confused. He glared and pointed to the open balcony doors.

“Stand up on the balcony railing. But do not use magic to balance yourself.”

I eyed the railing.

“There’s no way I can balance myself on that without magic.”

“Just do it.”

I threw him another glance before making my way over to the balcony. I looked over the edge. Then I wished I hadn’t reminded myself how many hundreds of feet we were above ground.

I gripped the railing. Chills ran across my skin.

“There’s no way I can do this without magic,” I repeated.

He walked onto the balcony and stood next to me.

“Do you think I would ask you to do this if I thought you incapable of it? Do you think I want to murder you?”

I don’t know.

“No,” I muttered.

Keeping my eyes away from the steep drop, I lifted one shaking foot onto the ledge and tried to balance before raising the other one.

This is impossible.

I held onto one of the balcony pillars as both feet were now balancing on the railing.

“Now let go of the pillar.”

My heart hammered against my chest.

There’s no way I can do this.

Closing my eyes, I chanted a balancing charm in my mind, hoping that Rhys wouldn’t notice I was using magic.

I let go, pretending to flail my arms about as I balanced perfectly.

As I moved away from the column and walked to the center, the spell lifted. A gust of wind blew against me, making me lose my footing. Gravity sucked me downward, and the wind rushed past me as I hurtled toward the ground.

I tried to scream out a levitation charm but it didn’t have any effect. My powers seemed to have completely drained out of me. My eyes watered from the wind and I closed my eyes, preparing for the impact.

I expected my body to shatter, but instead, I found myself being caught by two strong arms, my body parallel with the ground, about three feet away from it. Rhys was levitating above me.

He lowered me gently to the ground, then pulled me upright.

My knees crumpled and I curled up on the floor, shaking.

“I told you not to use magic,” Rhys said.

“I would have fallen even faster had I not,” I gasped, glaring up at him.

“That’s not the point,” he said calmly. “I told you not to use it. If you want to succeed at this, you need to follow my instructions blindly. You are not to consider the consequences.” He bent down closer to me, brushing the hair away from my face. “Your only duty is to trust me.”

I continued to shake.

“Clearly, you still have not understood this. You need more practice. Tomorrow, we’ll give you just that.”

More practice.

His words plagued me as I lay in bed that night.

R
hys made
us leave our apartment early the next morning. We stopped outside his aunt Isolde’s door a few meters along from ours.

The witch came to the door after a few knocks, wearing a woolen night gown, her long grey-streaked hair tied up above her head in a bun.

“Mona and I will be leaving for a while,” Rhys said. “I’m not sure when we’ll return. So go on with the rituals without us.”

Isolde pursed her lips as her cold eyes settled on me.

“Where are you going?”

Rhys glanced down at me, then looked back at his aunt.

“Mona has decided to become a Channeler.”

She raised her eyebrows, eyeing me.

“Does she understand what that involves?”

“She will soon,” Rhys said.

“Very well.” Isolde closed her door.

Rhys gripped my arm and led me further along the corridor.

“When are you going to give me my magic back?” I asked irritably.

“Not yet.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He stopped short and glared down at me.

“You’ll see.”

He reached out suddenly and held both of my hands in his. We vanished from the spot.

Several seconds later, I felt sand beneath my feet. I opened my eyes and as the scene around me came into focus, my heart skipped a beat.

“The ogres’ island,” I gasped, gripping Rhys’ arm so hard the blood drained from my knuckles.

It felt like I was living a nightmare as I stared up at the black metal gate that towered over us, its spikes topped with human heads. “I can’t be here! If they find me—”

“They’ll break your bones one by one and then skin you alive. I know. You murdered the king’s son.”

“They why are we here? Are you insane?”

Rhys remained calm. “Do you trust me?”

I stared at him disbelievingly.

“Trust you to what?”

“To hold your life in the palm of my hand.”

I paused.

“You already do,” I whispered.

“No. You have a choice. I can give you back your magic and we can return to the island. You don’t have to do this.”

I looked again at the dark silhouette of those gates, shuddering at the screams that seemed to pierce through the mountains themselves. The smell of roasting flesh drifted over the kingdom’s high walls, being carried by the sea breeze. It was lunch time.

But I do have to do this. I don’t have a choice.

I looked up at him again. His eyes remained fixed intensely on my face, as if studying my every emotion.

“I-I’ll do it.”

“That’s not what I asked you.”

“I… trust you.”

“Are you afraid?”

I bit my lower lip to stop it trembling.

“If you really trust me, you won’t be afraid.”

“I’m not afraid.”

He ran a hand through my hair, brushing away the stray strands from my face and tucking them behind my ear.

“Hm,” he muttered. “We’ll see about that.”

He gripped my arm again and began marching me full speed toward the skull-topped gates. With each step we took, my knees felt weaker.

He stopped a few feet away from it and let go of me.

“Now you will knock on this gate, and wait until they answer.”

I was sure that I would have a heart attack before the ogres ever opened the gate.

“Wh-what will you do?”

“What I may or may not do doesn’t concern you. Just do as I say.”

What if they snap me in two the moment they lay eyes on me and Rhys doesn’t even have a chance to intervene?

He turned on his heel and began walking away in the opposite direction, toward the sea.

I looked after him desperately.

“Wait!” I croaked. “You’re not even going to give me a knife?”

He glared back at me over his shoulder. That was all the answer I needed.

Blind surrender. That’s what Rhys demands of me.

I turned back to face the gates again. My knees were shaking so much, it was a struggle to support my own weight.

Even though I felt insane, I closed the distance between myself and the gates. Picking up a rock from the ground, I slammed it with all the strength I could muster against the metal. The stone hitting the iron gave off an eerie rattle.

I took a step back and listened.

A deafening crack pierced through the air as the gate unbolted. Then there was a creak as the gates opened. I whirled around and scanned the shoreline for Rhys. He had vanished. On turning back to face the gate, I found myself standing in full view of a giant ogre. His tusks were stained with grease, and he held some kind of roasted limb in one arm. I had disturbed his lunch.

His mouth dropped open. I was sure that he recognized me. I supposed that the whole kingdom would have been put on alert for me.

“You dare show your face around here?” he boomed.

I stood rooted to the spot.

I didn’t struggle as he hurled me over his shoulder and retreated with me behind the gates. I closed my eyes, trying to block out the terror and focus on Rhys’ words. His calm face. His steady breathing.

“Do you trust me?”

I’d said yes. Now more than ever, I needed that to be true.

Even as the gate clanged shut behind us, I kept thinking of Rhys. He was the only thing I had to cling to to keep my sanity.

I didn’t open my eyes even when the ogre slammed me down against a cold floor.

“It’s the killer! I have her!” the ogre bellowed above me. His shouts echoed around me. We must have been inside the mountain already. Still I didn’t open my eyes.

Rough hands picked me up and dragged me across the floor.

“She’s here!”

Footsteps approached.

Hands closed around my neck. I gasped in pain as I was lifted off the floor, my windpipe being crushed. Still, I dared not open my eyes. Rhys hadn’t even offered me a reassurance. He’d simply asked me a question. It was up to me to decide whether he deserved my trust.

A blade sliced against my cheek. Blood trickled down toward my neck. And then it sliced again, this time deeper, cutting right through my lower lip.

I gripped the coarse hands around my neck, trying to loosen them to let me gasp for air.

My back was slammed against a cold wall. My head bashed against it, adding to my dizziness. Still, I kept my eyes shut.

They talked amongst themselves but I was in too much pain to make sense of their words.

“Open your eyes,” one of them shouted.

I kept them shut. If I opened them I would lose myself to fear completely.

Cold fingers forced my eyes open. I found myself face to face with an ogre quite different from the guard who’d met me by the gate. Her features were sharper and more regal, her body more shapely. I recognized her as the queen of this place.

“Now, hold her eyes in place,” she said, looking up at one of the ogre guards towering over me.

He held my eyelids open. I watched in horror as she reached for her belt and withdrew a long knife.

“You know what this is, girl?” She glared at me. “A carving knife. Watch as I prepare you for my meal tonight.”

Another ogre held me down as I began to struggle. The queen reached for my hand and stretched out my arm. As she grazed the knife over my skin, a grin split her face.

“Mmm. I’m going to enjoy this.” She looked up at a tall, slim ogre I recognized as her king. “Make sure you watch every second of this, darling.”

Rhys, where are you?

Any sliver of faith I might have had in him was evaporating by the second.

Why would he leave it this late if he still intended to rescue me?

She ran her hands along my right arm until she reached my middle finger. I let out a scream as she broke it with one sharp motion.

Maybe Rhys wanted to get rid of me after all. Maybe he found out about Kiev and this is his revenge.

I thought again of Tiarni, and how I’d been forced to watch as he’d pried away her fingernails one by one.

He is sick enough to do this to me.

My thoughts were ludicrous. There was no way Rhys could have found out. But all ability to think was slipping away from me.

The queen moved onto my index finger. Another crack filled the dark hall as she snapped that one too. Darkness clouded my vision. I was close to passing out. The guard behind me slapped my face.

“No drifting off to sleep.” The queen glared up at me. “We’ve only just begun. If you stay awake long enough, and if I sever you in just the right places, you might even last until the frying.”

Grinning, she moved on to my third finger.

Then she shrieked and scrambled back away from me, dropping her knife on the floor as though she’d been burnt. The ogres holding me in place let go at the same time. My eyes rolled as I tried to make sense of what was happening.

There came a sudden gush of wind, and then I was lying in sand. I blinked and sat up. I was back on the beach outside the gates, with Rhys staring down at me.

I swore beneath my breath, cradling my broken hand against my chest. Tears of pain streamed down my face.

“How did it feel when you thought that I might not come for me?”

How do you think it felt, you bastard?
I wanted to yell at him, but I felt barely strong enough to whisper. I closed my eyes and winced, biting my lip against the pain.

“It was crushing, wasn’t it?”

“What was the point of all that?” I gasped. “Why didn’t you come for me before the bitch broke my fingers?” I groaned.

“Now, you won’t forget how doubting me is associated with pain. It’s not a nice feeling. And you won’t want to feel it again.”

This man is insane.

“I don’t understand.” A fresh bout of pain shot through my arm, lighting my nerves on fire.

He bent down and unclasped my injured hand from my chest. He cupped my hand between his. A few seconds later, the pain was gone. I flexed my fingers. They moved as if nothing had happened. Then Rhys ran a finger along my cheek and lower lip. The wounds stung as he touched them, and my skin became smooth. He held out his hand and pulled me to my feet, gripping me by the waist to steady me.

“Physical pain comes and goes,” he said. “It’s inconsequential. A means to an end. But the mental pain you experienced will remain with you forever. I don’t think you’ll ever forget what just went on in there.”

You don’t say.

He began guiding me toward the edge of the ocean.

“Where are you taking me now?” I asked irritably.

“Now, I want you to feel what it’s like to not doubt me.”