A Shining Light (19 page)

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Authors: Judith Miller

Tags: #FIC042030, #FIC042040, #FIC042000, #Amana Society—Fiction, #Mothers and sons—Fiction, #Widows—Fiction, #Iowa—History—19th century—Fiction

BOOK: A Shining Light
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Chapter 19

“Sister Andrea!” Brother Bosch greeted me with a wide smile and sparkling eyes as he crossed the backyard. He sat down beside me on the porch, where I was cleaning beets. “I know you are busy since Sister Greta is helping with the potato harvest, but I wanted to talk to you about your husband.”

Early this morning, Sister Greta had departed for the potato field in a horse-drawn wagon filled with other sisters. Although each kitchen house had its own garden, there was only one potato field for the entire village. As a result, each Küchebaas provided one worker during each week of harvest. Those of us who remained in the kitchen were expected to complete the duties of our sisters harvesting in the field.

Sister Greta had been pleased to receive the assignment. Since her outing with Dirk, our friendship had become strained. We communicated what was necessary to keep the kitchen operating
smoothly but discussed little else. I knew she would enjoy visiting with the other sisters while working in the fields, and a part of me wished I had been assigned the task. Perhaps Sister Erma would send me next week.

I dropped my knife onto the wooden tray. Any mention of my husband's name was enough to gain my full attention. “There is a problem? Has he returned to his old ways with Dr. Karr?”

“Nein. The doctor reports your husband has remained respectful—most of the time.” Brother Bosch pulled the familiar pipe from his jacket. “He is not a perfect patient, but no man is perfect—only our Lord. With God's help, your husband has changed some of his harsh ways, but old habits are slow to die.” He filled the bowl of his pipe with tobacco before he continued. “You know the doctor has declared Fred well enough to take walks, ja?” He arched his brows and waited.

“Yes. On my recent visits, we have been taking walks. I have observed his strength increasing each day.” I didn't add that I had become increasingly concerned about what was going to happen when the doctor declared Fred well enough to be discharged from his daily care.

Brother Bosch struck a match and held it to the bowl of his pipe. I waited while he puffed on the stem and the tobacco glowed red. He gave a satisfied nod as his smoke ring was carried off on the morning breeze. “This is gut, but now that he has been able to walk about the village, he believes he is ready to move from the doctor's office.”

My heart thumped with such ferocity, I placed my hand on my chest. “And Dr. Karr? What does he think?”

Brother Bosch had leaned close and cupped his ear to hear my whispered questions. “He believes your husband could live elsewhere as long as he continues to return to the office each day
to have his wound examined and his bandage changed. He is not positive the malaria is completely controlled, but that could be regulated during daily office visits.”

I hadn't been oblivious to Fred's physical improvement. And though I wondered about our future once Dr. Karr discharged him, I hadn't expected to face the challenge this soon.

“So the doctor wants Fred to move from his house?” I squeezed my trembling hands together.

“Nein. It is Fred who wants to leave the doctor's house. He tells the doctor he wants to be reunited with you and his son.” Brother Bosch permitted his gaze to wander across the backyard before turning back to me. “This presents us with an unforeseen problem, Sister Andrea.”

“And what is that?”

“Here in the villages, we have hired outsiders to work for us when needed—men who could help in the fields during harvest and planting seasons, and single women to help in the kitchens from time to time. Never before have we had an outsider family live among us.” He held the pipe bowl in his hand and pointed the stem in my direction. “We do not have proper accommodations for such a circumstance. There is a dormitory for the men, but we cannot place your family there, and the elders believe it is unsuitable for a family of nonmembers to live in a house with members.” He hiked one shoulder. “I agree with this principle.”

I understood that moving our family into a house occupied by colonists could present a multitude of problems, especially if Fred wasn't on his best behavior. To have a female outsider living in the kitchen house was not unusual, but the elders would never agree to move Fred into Sister Erma's apartment with Lukas and me. Had they decided we should leave the colonies? How would we live? And how would I find the strength to live with Fred?

“Have the elders arrived at a decision?” My voice trembled and I swallowed hard.

“Ja, and this is where I will need your help.”

Not wanting to miss a word he would say, I leaned toward him. “Anything.”

He smiled. “Do not answer so fast. You should wait until you hear what I will ask, Sister Andrea.”

Although I nodded my agreement, there could be nothing he would ask that would meet with my disagreement. Brother Bosch would never ask me to do anything improper, so I eagerly waited to hear his request.

“Even though your husband could live in private quarters, the elders agree it would be in the best interest of everyone in our village if he remained at Dr. Karr's office.”

My shoulders relaxed as he uttered the reprieve. “That decision is fine with me, Brother Bosch.”

“Ja, but we doubt it will be fine with your husband. The elders would like you to go with me when I deliver the news. They fear your husband may direct his anger at Dr. Karr after I depart. If you are present, they believe you can help to soothe his anger and convince him this is a gut decision for his health and for your family.”

“When will you tell him?”

“If you are willing to go with me, we could go before prayer meeting this evening.”

I nodded. “I am willing. Should I meet you at the doctor's office?”

He reached forward, knocked his pipe against the porch railing, and watched the charred tobacco scatter across the bricks below. “Ja. I will wait outside until you arrive.”

As Brother Bosch turned to leave, I picked up a beet and my knife and set to work while trying to prepare for any opposition
Fred might pose. I didn't relish tonight's meeting, but a confrontation with Fred would be easier than the alternative. If he didn't agree to reason, we would have to leave the village—and I had many arguments against that option.

Not long after Brother Bosch departed, Sister Erma appeared at the back door. She wiped her hands on her apron as she stepped outside. “I see Brother Heinrich was here to visit with you.”

“He was.” I continued cleaning the beets. “Are we going to can beets this afternoon?” The large basket held far too many for one meal, but I hadn't seen any canning jars in the kitchen this morning.

She sat down in the chair Brother Bosch had occupied a short time ago. “Ja, I was going to the cellar to bring up some jars.” She picked up one of the beets and rolled it in her palm. “Did Brother Heinrich bring you some special news?”

She'd withheld her curiosity as long as possible. I nodded. “Yes. He's going to meet me at the doctor's office this evening before prayer service.” I detailed the remainder of our conversation and answered her ensuing questions. Once satisfied that she'd been fully informed, she stood and gestured toward the cellar doors. “I need to get started washing and boiling jars, or there will not be enough time to can beets this afternoon.”

I would have preferred to wait until tomorrow, but I didn't offer my opinion. In truth, it was probably better if I remained busy throughout the afternoon. I wouldn't have time to worry about what Fred might do or say when we met with him later that evening.

Hours later, Lukas hurtled into the kitchen. I turned on my heel and motioned for him to be careful. Jars of the recently canned beets now stood on the worktable, and I envisioned them crashing to the floor.

“Why are you running, Lukas?”

“Papa said he's going to move from Dr. Karr's office. Did you know?” Still panting, he leaned forward, rested his hands on his thighs, and gasped for air.

I hurried to his side. “What else did he tell you?”

“He needs a wagon to help move his trunk. Should I go and ask the farm Baas?”

I shook my head. “No. If anything is needed, I'll see to it.”

“But Papa said I should tell you. I don't want him to be mad at me.” His lower lip trembled, and I stooped down beside him.

“You don't need to be afraid, Lukas. I'll make sure your father knows you did what he asked. In fact, I don't want you to go with me when I visit this evening. Brother Bosch wants to talk with your father, so he is meeting me at Dr. Karr's office. You can stay here and walk to prayer meeting with Sister Erma.” I stroked his arm. “Does that help lessen your fear?”

He straightened his shoulders. “I didn't say I was afraid. Papa says only babies are afraid.”

“That's not true, Lukas. Sometimes fear is what keeps us safe.”

He pushed damp curls from his forehead. “You mean like coming in the house when there's lightning or when it's dark outside?”

“That's right.” I wasn't surprised by the examples Lukas had given me. He'd once seen lightning strike a ship at the Baltimore docks that resulted in a fire. Since then, he'd been fearful of lightning and would run inside whenever storms threatened. Just as Lukas had learned about lightning, he'd discovered that the streets around our tenement building changed from worrisome to terrifying at night and healthy fear required we remain indoors after sunset.

“You won't tell Papa I was afraid, will you?”

His pleading tone pained me. In spite of Fred's past neglect and
anger, the boy still longed to win his approval. “No. I'll tell him you gave me his message. If he's angry, it will be with me—not you.” He didn't appear completely convinced, but he wandered back outside to wait for the supper bell.

I said a quick prayer of protection for my son and then sighed. Fred would be angry with me, of that I was certain. He would not like being told what to do, and because I was joining Brother Bosch in the delivery of the news, I would be the target for his anger. It was a small price to pay for a few more weeks of peace in Amana.

Brother Bosch was waiting when I arrived at the doctor's office. “I'm sorry to keep you waiting.”

“No apology is needed, Sister Andrea.” He nodded toward the door. “You are ready?”

I inhaled a deep breath and nodded, but I didn't know if I would ever be ready to face Fred when I knew he was going to hear unwelcome news. I'd said a prayer on my way to the doctor's office and hoped Brother Bosch had done the same.

Brother Bosch held the door and I led the way toward Fred's room. Before Fred caught sight of me, he hollered from his room, “Did Lukas tell ya to bring a wagon to move my trunk, Andrea?” I stepped through the doorway, but Fred looked above me and settled his gaze on Brother Bosch. “I wasn't expecting any other company. Brother Bosch, ain't it?”

The older man nodded, crossed the room, and moved two straight-backed chairs close to Fred's bed. “I came with your wife because there is a matter we need to discuss.”

With a wary look in his eyes, Fred pointed to himself and then to Brother Bosch. “You and me? What we got to talk about?”

Brother Bosch cleared his throat. “About your living arrangements.”

“Oh, that. Ain't nothin' to discuss. The doc said I was good enough to move outta this place. I'm gonna borrow a wagon to move my things. My family should be livin' together.”

The elder scooted forward on his chair. “So you are planning to leave the colonies and live elsewhere?”

“Not yet—ain't got the money I need to do that right now, but I want to live in a place where Andrea, me, and the boy can be together. Then, soon as I get things arranged, we'll be movin' on.”

I wasn't certain what Fred had in mind or how he planned to arrange anything from a sickbed. He might be well enough to move from the doctor's office, but he wasn't well enough to work and earn money. And even if he was, saving enough to go anywhere would take a long period of time.

Brother Bosch rested his arms across his thighs. “Dr. Karr has told me what you want, Mr. Wilson, and our elders who make decisions for the village have met and discussed your living arrangements.”

Fred's eyelids dropped to half-mast. “And?”

“You will need to remain here at Dr. Karr's office.” Brother Bosch carefully explained the reasons for the decision and then sat back in his chair. When Fred remained silent, he said, “You understand why we have made this decision?”

“So you God-fearin' people don't think it's important for a family to live together?”

Brother Bosch shook his head. “That is not what I said. I have explained that we do not have the ability to provide you with what you desire.”

Fred's jaw twitched and his fingers tightened around the sheet that covered most of his body. “I been walkin' up and down these
here sidewalks, and there's all kinds of houses, but you're tellin' me there ain't no place in this whole village where we can live together?”

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