A Sister's Quest (28 page)

Michelle's hands shook as she entered the parlor and saw that Alexei was dressed as formally as she was. She had forgotten how incredibly handsome he was in an ebony coat and spotless white breeches. She touched the silver sheen of his waistcoat, so glad that his spirit had not been wounded as his body had. Ready to go among his enemies again, he would not hide behind drab clothes.

“You need a bit of lace for that,” he said, draping her sling with a sheer shawl that matched her gown.

“So I can be a well-dressed invalid? Look at you with your black coat and eye patch to match.”

“I thought I looked rather dashing.” He ran her finger along the scar left by the bullet that had creased his right cheek, then kissed her palm. “I have long aspired to play the roué.”

She did not laugh. “I think you look as wonderful as the first time I saw you.”

“Do you?” he asked, shocked. He regained his composure as he said, “You were very cold to me that night.”

“Looking back, I cannot imagine why I agreed to go with a pompous, self-satisfied Russian autocrat, but I am glad I did.”

“Despite everything?”

“Despite everything.”

He ran his finger again along the sling. “Even this?”

“Yes.”

When his finger glided across her lips, his voice became husky. “Even this,
Liebchen
?”

Her answer was muted by the pressure of his mouth over hers. Why did he ask? Couldn't he tell how much she longed to be in his arms? He was the one who had pushed her away in the wake of the attack on them. Her longing for him had never wavered. Nothing, not even the past that bound them so unexpectedly together, should come between them.

Rusak clearing his throat slowly separated them, but Alexei did not release her from his hungry gaze as he draped her heavy cloak around her shoulders. When Alexei offered his left arm, Michelle put her fingers on it. They remained silent as they walked out of the apartment to face the world together. She did not want to think how easily this joy could be destroyed.

As Michelle walked into the well-lit house, she tried to hide her unease. She did not want to be on display here tonight as if she were part of a gypsy circus. That she and Alexei had survived the assassination should not make them the center of attention, but the bored diplomats would be eager for any diversion.

Alexei smiled as he led her into the ornate room, which was crowded to overflowing. Instantly they were surrounded. Questions were shot from every direction. She tried to answer, but another was fired at her before she could reply. Shocked by the lack of grief over Herr Damrosch's death, she wished she had not let Alexei convince her to make this their first outing. If they had emerged slowly, mayhap to a restaurant or for a ride about the city, she could have dealt with the curiosity more easily.

The words of one overplump dowager caught her attention. “Excuse me?” Michelle asked, sure she had misunderstood the woman.

“Fraulein D'Orage, I do trust your baby was not lost. You appear as slender as ever. It would be such a great tragedy if—”

“I don't know what you are talking about.” She was about to add more when she saw Alexei's lopsided smile. Obviously he had heard this rumor.

“Michelle is alive,” Alexei said with his most charming grin, “and that is what we must be grateful for.” He slipped his arm around her waist. “I trust there will be other opportunities.”

The dowager fluttered her fan and hurried away, clearly disconcerted by Alexei's outrageous comments. His quick answers to the others came as he steered Michelle toward a bench by a window. A servant appeared as soon as she sat. Alexei took two glasses and handed her one. Gratefully she took a deep drink of the champagne.

“Are you all right?” he asked, sitting beside her. “You look very pale.”

“All for the better, if I am supposed to be quickening.” She arched her brows. “And exactly when were you planning to tell me about this?”

He smiled. “I heard the rumor for the first time the night you seduced me in the conservatory.” His finger traced her ear as his gaze softened. “Needless to say, I forgot it along with everything else when I was in your arms.”

“Anything else you have forgotten to tell me? Some other deep secret that I should know?”

“Yes. I love you.”

She blinked, wondering if she had misheard him. “What?”

“You heard me,
Liebchen
. I love you.” He brushed her lips with his.

“Really?”

He laughed. “Have I been dishonest with you in the past?”

“Yes.”

“And didn't you always know when I was lying?”

She nodded. She
had
known so often when he was spinning her a tale, because she had seen the sincerity in his eyes when he spoke the truth. The truth of his admiration for her mother. The truth of his concern for his work. And now the truth of his love for her.

His broad fingers stroked her shoulder. “So am I being less than honest when I say, ‘I love you, Michelle D'Orage'?”

Searching his face, she was not sure whether she hoped to see his ironic smile or to discover that he was being truthful. Her errant heart did not dare to believe that he loved her. Yet, as she thought of the nights spent in their cozy parlor, she realized she had never been happier. But to have Alexei love her complicated their lives.

“I wish I were back in Zurich,” she whispered.

Fury edged his voice. “What? Do you want to run back to your convent and hide from the world and my love for you?”

“You don't understand!”

“I don't? I tell you that I love you and you want to flee. What are you running away from?”

Putting her glass on a nearby table, she caressed his cheek. “I am afraid of losing you, Alexei. Really losing you next time. I want to go home, but I want to take you with me. I love you too much to lose you forever.”

The hard lines vanished from his face as his mouth lowered toward hers. Everything in the room vanished beneath the flood of desire that swept her away from anything but him. Too quickly he drew away.

“Don't stop,” she whispered. “Please don't tell me there is someone important to whom you have to talk.”

“There is no one more important than you, my love.” Standing, he brought her to her feet. “Let's go home. Not to Zurich, but to
our
home.”

Michelle nodded as she put her hand on his arm and walked with him out of the room. She accepted a footman's help with her cloak as Alexei shrugged his on. When she saw the carriage waiting in the brilliant splash of moonlight, she knew there was nothing she wanted as much as this night with Alexei.

No, that was not true. She wanted all her nights with him.

Sitting in the carriage, Michelle leaned her head against his chest and listened to his steady heartbeat. She sat up with a cry as the coach halted abruptly. Alexei's hand on her shoulder kept her from leaping up from the seat. The carriage began to move again, and they rounded a corner. Embarrassment filled her as she realized it had stopped to let another carriage pass.

“It is all right,
Liebchen
,” Alexei whispered as he brought her back into his arms. “Do not shake so. I swear you shall fall apart if you continue.”

“I thought—I was afraid that—”

“Hush,
Liebchen
. I know what you thought. Why do you think I have not kissed you since we got into the carriage? I did not want to remind you of that night.”

“Hold me, Alexei. Hold me and never let go.”

“Gladly.” Alexei smiled as he rested his cheek on Michelle's head. Petals from the flowers in her hair drifted along her shoulders as she snuggled closer to him. As she slowly calmed, he wondered how long the bestiality of the ambush would haunt her. It had been a rude introduction into the world he had come to call his own.

Stroking her back, he wished he could promise her that she would become inured to violence. That would be a lie, for he had not in the years he had been skulking across Europe on one assignment or another. Mayhap he was a jinx. Rusak, Sophie, now his beloved Michelle, all hurt because they had become involved with his life. That was nonsense. Those were the risks taken by anyone who dared to work for peace.

When Rusak brought the carriage to a stop in front of their door, Alexei opened the door. Michelle smiled gamely as he took her trembling fingers and assisted her to the walkway. Telling Rusak good night, he led her to the door.

The parlor was empty. As he hung their cloaks on the pegs, Michelle asked, “Do you want me to put the kettle on for some hot chocolate?”

“No, because,
Liebchen
, you already have me steaming.” He drew her toward the arch.

When she gave him a smile as rakish as his own, he was sure every muscle was taut with desire. His gaze swept along her. She was so beautiful in her silky gown, but he wanted her out of it so her even more silken skin was against him.

He paused in front of his door, and she started to step past him. “No.” His right hand clumsily caught hers as he put his left on the doorknob.

“I was going to get—”

“You need nothing but me tonight,
Liebchen
. Tonight and every night.”

“Every night?”

“For as long as we can.”

When her eyes dimmed for a moment, he wanted to take back those words. But he would not lie to her tonight. He could not offer her marriage and the conventional life she might have dreamed of. All he could offer her now was making her charade as his mistress a reality. The woman she had been in Zurich would have slapped his face and walked away.

“Yes,” she whispered. “Tonight and for as long as we can.”

“Are you sure?” Again he wanted to silence the words, because he did not want to risk losing what they could share. Michelle had changed, but he had as well. She urged him to think of something other than his work, which had eased his grief for so many years. He had not expected that his guilt that he had not been there to save Sophie would be eased by the love he had found in her daughter's arms.

When he drew her into his room, he closed the door behind her and slipped the bolt into place. Nothing must intrude. “Wait here,” he murmured.

Michelle nodded and went to stand by the hearth. Although she heard the connecting door between their rooms open, she did not turn. She suspected Alexei was locking her door as well. In front of her the flames burned no hotter than the fire within her.

Michelle heard Alexei's footsteps nearing her. She closed her eyes and surrendered to the luscious madness as his lips caressed the nape of her neck. His fingers fumbled with the knot holding her sling, and she was tempted to assist him, but she guessed he wanted to undress her himself.

When she turned to face him, he was frowning. She asked, “Is something wrong?”

“With you? Of course not!” He sighed. “I had fantasized about sweeping you into my arms and tossing you onto this bed, where I would shred your sanity with my touch.”

Hearing the pain in his voice, she asked, “I love you, Alexei! Not the man you imagined yourself to be. You have not changed, for I fell in love with you before we were shot. I do not want a rake who will ravage me. I want you. I want you exactly as you are.”

“Exactly as I am now?”

Letting her fingers curl through the golden silk of his hair, she whispered, “Exactly as you are now, except I want to feel your skin next to me.”

“I like a woman who knows what she wants.” He chuckled. “No, I
love
a woman who knows what she wants.”

With a laugh, she pushed against his shoulders. When he fell back on the mattress, she leaned over him. “I want you,
mein rogue
.”

He swept his fingers up through her hair, scattering the flower petals around them. Brushing her loosened curls back from her eyes, he grinned and pressed her back into the pillows. His lips found hers with the ease of the luscious nights she had dreamed of being again in his arms. Taunting and pleasuring, his mouth moved along her face, each kiss a new thrill. He tasted the soft whorls of her ear as his breath swirled through her, inflaming the longing into a firestorm.

He undressed her quickly, his right hand not hampering him. He delighted in her naked breasts against him and slid his hands along her back, drawing her tight to his hips.

Another soft gasp escaped from her lips as he found the most responsive spot on her throat. Her fingers clenched on the back of his shirt when his tongue stole along her skin, lighting every inch of it with desire. Caught between his hard body and the cloying caress of the bed, she surrendered to her craving. She reached for the buttons on his shirt. All she wanted was his body on hers, to explore him intimately, to surround him with herself.

Sparks glowed along her skin wherever his lips touched her. When he tasted the warm valley between her breasts, she ran her tongue along his ear. His quick breaths were puffs of fire on her.

His clothes dropped to the floor with hers as he drew her beneath him. His rapid breaths mingled with hers before his lips spiraled along her, leaving her writhing and driving her to the very edge of sanity.

She giggled as he sampled the curve of her instep. “That tickles.”

“Serves you right,” he whispered. “Let me see where else you are ticklish.”

Her laughter dissolved into a moan as his mouth moved along her leg. Gasping his name, she became the escalating pulse of her body as it moved with the tempo of his probing tongue. He cupped her hips, pulling her even closer to him.

Desperately she gripped his shoulders and urged him to share the ecstasy. His mouth covered hers as he found welcome deep within her. The ripples of rapture became a wave and crashed over her, sweeping away every thought but one. Whether she should or not, she loved this man.

“My love, where are you?” The breathless caress of Alexei's voice cooled Michelle's face and drew her back from the sweet fire.