A Sister's Secret (22 page)

As Always,

Cleon

Grace gulped on a sob as she crumpled the letter into a tight ball. What if Cleon never came back? What if—

“Daughter, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

Grace looked up and saw her mother standing over her, a worried expression knitting her brows.

Releasing more sobs between every couple of words, Grace shared the letter Cleon had written. “I’m afraid I may have driven him away, and now nothing in my life will ever be any good.”

Mom took a seat on the sofa and gathered Grace into her arms. “God brought your daughter back to you, and that’s a good thing.”

Grace nodded.

“After your visit with the bishop the night Anna arrived, he offered you words of comfort and acceptance.”

She nodded again.

“The people in our community have been friendly to Anna and tried to make her feel welcome.”

“Jah.”

“You need to trust God with Cleon. I’m sure that in time your husband will come around, too.”

“I—I hope so.” Grace sniffed. “Anna may have been returned to me, but she doesn’t accept me as her mother. She doesn’t seem to want anything to do with me.”

“She needs more time to adjust and get to know you better.”

Grace reached for the box of tissues sitting on the table next to the sofa. She dabbed her eyes and blew her nose. “That doesn’t solve things between Cleon and me. I’m afraid he might decide to leave the Amish faith and begin a new life in the English world without me.”

“That’s ridiculous. Cleon would never leave the faith or risk a shunning by deciding to do something so unthinkable as to dissolve your marriage.” Mom gently patted Grace’s back. “He’s strong in his beliefs, and I’m sure that deep down, he loves you. Just give him some time to sort things out, and soon he’ll be home again.”

Grace moaned. “Dad’s angry with me, too—not only because of the secret I kept from you, but because he blames me for that magazine article Gary Walker wrote.”

Mom shook her head. “Now how can that be your fault?”

“I’m the one who told Gary about our break-ins. I figured he’d forgotten about it because I’d heard he had gone to Pennsylvania to write some stories about the Amish there.”

“I see.”

“I was as surprised as anyone when that story came out, and when Dad told us about the article and picture the bishop showed him, I believed it would be best to admit that I’d spoken to the reporter.” She lifted the tissue to her face and blew her nose again.

“But there were details in the article that you never mentioned to the reporter, right?”

Grace nodded. “That’s true, but if Gary is the one responsible for our break-ins, he would have already known everything that happened to us.”

“Or someone else might have told him.”

“Like who?”

Mom shrugged. “I don’t know, but others in our community knew about the break-ins. One of them might have spoken to the reporter and told him the details you left out.”

“Maybe so. All I know is when someone makes a decision about something important, the way I did when I allowed Wade’s folks to take Anna, it can change their life forever.” Grace slowly shook her head. “That’s what happens when people don’t think about the effect their decisions will have on others. If I’d known that giving up my little girl and keeping it a secret would have affected my family so much, I would have done things differently.”

“That’s how life goes—we learn and grow from our mistakes.”

“And hope we don’t make them again,” Grace murmured.

“We shouldn’t merely hope. We need to ask God to guide us in all our decisions.”

Grace nodded. She knew Mom was right, for if she’d sought God’s will in the first place, she wouldn’t be in the mess she was in right now.

“Martha’s gone to Kidron with your daed to look at a pair of beagles, so why don’t we hire a driver to take us to the Wal-Mart store in Millersburg and get your daughter some appropriate shoes?”

Grace shook her head. “I don’t feel like going anywhere, Mom. Why don’t you and Anna go? It’ll give you a chance to get better acquainted.”

“I don’t think staying home feeling sorry for yourself is going to solve anything. I really wish you’d come along.”

“I’d rather not.”

Mom shrugged. “All right then. Maybe some time alone is what you need.”

***

A short time later, Judith and Anna were on their way to Millersburg in Donna Larson’s car. As soon as they entered the Wal-Mart, Anna pointed to the mechanical horse inside the entrance. “I wanna horsey ride!”

Judith gave the child’s hand a gentle tug. “Maybe on our way out.” She’d hoped, as Grace had suggested, that this would be a chance for her and Anna to get better acquainted.

“I wanna ride the horsey now.”

“Not until we finish our shopping.” Judith grabbed a shopping cart, scooped Anna into her arms, and placed her inside the cart.

“I don’t want new shoes. Let me out. I want out!”

“You might get tired if you walk. It’s better that you ride inside the cart.”

Anna scrunched up her nose and crossed her arms.

Judith sighed and headed for the shoe department. Anna needed a sturdy pair of dress shoes, and they had to be plain and black. The other day, they’d looked at the boot and harness shop run by their friend Abe Wengerd but found nothing in Anna’s size.

A short time later, Judith found a pair of appropriate-looking black shoes for the child and was about to move on to do some other shopping when Anna shouted, “I don’t want these shoes! They’re ugly, and I won’t wear ’em.”

Judith drew in a deep breath and prayed for patience. “I know you’re upset about the shoes, and I understand that being left with strangers has been hard on you, but I won’t tolerate such outbursts, Anna.” She bent over so she was at eye level with the child. “Do you understand?”

Anna nodded but said nothing. She sat like a statue with her arms folded, staring straight ahead.

Judith gritted her teeth and maneuvered the cart down the toothpaste aisle. When she finished the rest of her shopping, she went to the nearest checkout stand, paid for her purchases, and pushed the shopping cart toward the door. They’d no sooner left the checkout counter when Anna started hollering, “Horsey! Horsey! I wanna ride the horsey!”

“Shh. I told you before you mustn’t yell.” Judith wondered what the other shoppers must think seeing a child dressed in plain clothes carrying on in such a manner. Amish children were taught at an early age to behave in public. But of course, none of the people staring at them had any idea Anna hadn’t grown up Amish. How different things might have been for all of them if the child had been a part of their family from the time she was a baby.

When an ear-piercing buzzer went off, Anna let out a yelp. Judith halted outside the first set of doors where the scanners were located. She figured the security alarm had been triggered because the clerk who’d rung up her purchases had forgotten to remove the security strip from one of the items. A few seconds later, a clerk rushed over, demanding to see Judith’s receipt and then searching her packages. Throughout the entire process, Anna fussed and cried for a horsey ride, which only caused Judith further embarrassment.

When the clerk found nothing in any of the packages, she turned to Judith and said, “You’d better let me see that purse you’re holding.”

Her forehead wrinkled. “Why would you need to see this? I didn’t buy it here. It was a gift from my sister who lives in Indiana, and I was carrying it when I came into the store.”

“Our scanners are set up to check for security strips on things going out of the store, not coming in,” the clerk said. “Now, are you going to let me see that purse, or do I need to call my supervisor?”

Judith’s head began to pound, and as Anna’s screams increased in volume, she felt as if she could shriek at someone herself. Gritting her teeth, she handed over the purse.

The clerk snapped it open, and after a few seconds of rummaging around, she said, “I found the problem.” She held up a small metallic strip. “This was stuck to the lining of your purse and must not have been removed when your sister purchased it. Since it’s full of your personal things, it’s obviously yours.”

Judith sighed in relief, and miraculously, Anna stopped crying.

“I’m sorry for your trouble, ma’am,” the clerk said with a sheepish-looking smile. “This kind of thing doesn’t happen often, but we need to check things out to be sure nothing leaves the store that hasn’t been paid for.”

“I understand.” On shaky legs, Judith pushed the cart toward the front door, anxious to get out to the car where Donna waited. Before she could exit the last set of doors, Anna stood up in the cart and hollered, “Horsey ride! Please, Grandma.”

Judith halted and reached over to give the little girl a hug. Something good had come from this otherwise stressful shopping trip: Anna had called her “Grandma.” Maybe the child would call Grace “Mama” soon. Oh, how she hoped so.

***

“Anna’s asleep,” Martha said, as she entered the kitchen later that evening.

Grace looked up from the letter she’d been writing and frowned. “I tried to get her to sleep with me tonight, but she cried and insisted on sleeping in your room again. It doesn’t look like she’s ever going to accept me as her mother.”

Mom, who sat across from Grace drinking a cup of tea, shook her head. “I think you’re wrong about that. I didn’t say anything before because I didn’t want to embarrass Anna in front of everyone during supper, but this afternoon as we were leaving Wal-Mart, she called me ‘Grandma.’”

Grace set her pen aside and reached for her own cup of tea, letting the warmth of it seep through her cold fingers. “I’m glad to hear that, but just because Anna seems to have accepted you as her grossmudder and Martha as her
aendi
doesn’t mean she will ever accept me.”

Martha pulled out the chair next to Grace and sat down. “You need to remember that the only mother Anna’s ever known was her grandma Davis. Now that the woman is dead and her grandpa left her with people she’d never met before, the poor little thing doesn’t know where she belongs or who she can trust.”

“I think your sister’s right about that,” Mom said with a nod. “I believe you need to work at gaining Anna’s trust. If you spend as much time with her as you can, she’ll learn that she can trust you, and eventually she’ll begin calling you ‘Mama.’”

Martha poured herself a cup of tea. “The only reason Anna has taken to me is because of the hundlin. She enjoys playing with them, and it’s given us something to do together.”

“Speaking of puppies,” Grace said, “how’d things go with you and Dad in Kidron? Did you see any dogs you liked?”

Martha nodded, and her blue eyes fairly sparkled. “Found me a pair of beagle hounds for breeding. The male is named Bo, and his mate’s name is Flo.”

“They sound more like twins than mates.”

Martha chuckled. “I think Anna will like the beagles as much as she does Heidi, Fritz, and the pups.”

Tears trickled down Grace’s cheeks, and she plucked a napkin from the wicker basket on the table and wiped them away. “It hurts so much to know that Anna’s accepting you but not me.”

Mom reached over and touched Grace’s arm. “Maybe if you can find something Anna’s interested in, it might do the trick.”

“Jah, maybe so. It doesn’t look like I’ll be spending my free time with Cleon anymore.” Grace choked back a sob. “He gave Ruth a note for me this morning, and it wasn’t good news.”

“What’d it say?” Martha asked.

“He said he was catching a bus and would be going to some places in Pennsylvania where he wants to sell his honey.”

“I’m sure he won’t be gone long,” her sister said.

“I agree,” Mom put in. “Cleon will be back before you know it.”

“As I’m sure you know, he’s been sleeping on the floor in our unfinished house because he’s still upset that I didn’t tell him the truth about Wade and Anna sooner. I’m afraid he left because of that more than a need to sell honey.” A sense of hopelessness welled in Grace’s soul.

“I knew he’d been sleeping there,” Martha said, “but I thought it was because he wanted to work on the place late at night and early in the morning. I never dreamed it was to get away from you.”

“Cleon said he needs time to think about things, and I guess he feels he can’t do that here where he would see me and Anna every day.”

“Oh, Grace, I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you say something about this sooner?”

Grace sniffed, picked up the napkin again, and blew her nose. “I told Mom about Cleon’s letter this morning, but I haven’t mentioned it to anyone else because I didn’t think Anna needed to hear things she wouldn’t understand.”

Martha placed her hand in the small of Grace’s back and gently massaged it. “Maybe it’s good that Cleon will be gone awhile. It will give you more time to spend with Anna. I’m sure that after he’s had a chance to think things over, he’ll realize his place is here with you.”

“I hope you’re right.” Grace stood up and walked toward the hallway.