A Soldier in Love (12 page)

The sun was beginning
to set in the sky as it became evening time. It was drawing closer to winter
and it was getting colder outside. Michelle felt chilled as the wind blew
through her thin jacket. It had become increasingly difficult to stay away from
the house until
she
passed out from
drinking for the night. The house was old and rundown, the whole thing smelled
of mildew and dust.

Michelle sighed it was
either freeze to death out here or try to hide from her foster mother inside. Her
heart sank at that term; the woman, she was no mother of any kind. She didn’t
have any food in the house, well, none that Michelle knew of. She refused to
give Michelle any money for a new coat.

Michelle was sure the
woman only bathed if she made her way out to the bar for the night. She usually
didn’t come home for a few days when she did and she slept for even more.

Michelle just tried to
stay out of the way. Most all children had been displaced. The system had been
overrun. She ate breakfast and lunch and school. One of her teacher’s had
promised to help get her a new coat.
 

“You think you’re so
pretty don’t you?” The old woman yelled belligerently.

Michelle shook her
head. The woman was drunk again. She would often go on crazy tangents and yell
obscenities at her. Somehow, she had begun to get used to it. She supposed you
could get used to anything if you had to.

“I don’t know what you
mean. Look, I’ll just go to bed,” she offered. She thought it would be as
simple as that to diffuse the situation. The old woman would go back to
drinking and leave her alone for the rest of the night as usual.
 

“Come over here,” she
said through a thick cloud of cigarette smoke. Michelle could see her empty
eyes and wrinkled skin. She wasn’t sure how old she was, it seemed as all the
smoking and drinking had aged her well beyond her time.

Michelle stepped back
but the old woman lurched forward. Her bony fingers tightly gripped her arm.
She flashed a toothy grin then put the lit cigarette out on the creamy white
flesh of her forearm. She laughed in pleasure as Michelle screamed.

“Stop!” she cried as
the pain ignited through her arm and soared throughout her body.

She tried to pull away
but her grip was too tight. Her fingernails dug into her arm.

“Please, stop! Why are
you doing this?” Michelle could smell her own burnt flesh. She winced in pain.

“Poor you, poor me I have
to fucking house you because the government makes me,” she yelled pulling the
cigarette butt from her arm.

“Don’t fucking talk!”
she continued gripping the burnt part of her arm before shoving her down.

Michelle doubled over in
pain. She fought back tears before pulling herself to her feet.

I refuse to cry. I refuse to let this woman see me
as weak.

“Stupid orphans,” she
yelled as Michelle ran to her room.

“Stupid fucking
orphans.
Nobody wants you!” she
yelled louder.

***

Michelle
awoke in tears as her breaths came in heavy pants. Her breathing slowed as she
felt two strong arms pull her near. She felt safe.
                                                                             

The memories she had
tried to shove away were incredibly strong. It was more than just a memory it
was as though she was reliving them. She swore she could still feel the intense
burning heat on her arm. She pressed her right hand over left forearm. She
looked down, it was just a scar.

No, no it was just a dream.
Just a
dream.
A dream of the past…

The past, the past
brought back so much pain.
Too much pain,
Michelle thought. She wondered if she would rather die than go through it all
again. She slumped against the bed as tears formed in her eyes. She wondered if
all she was were the memories she possessed. All of them seemed to be bad; she
wondered if that meant she was all bad.

Why was I left to suffer? Why?

“I heard you scream,” Serik
said gently as he held her small trembling body to his. He could feel the wet
stream of tears on his chest.

She looked up to him
with shame in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Serik.”

Michelle took a deep
breath and attempted to stop crying but it was useless. Her emotions felt so
raw and bloody. She had never felt anything as intense as this. It was as
though the past brought something else along with it. The pain of the memories
was like an acid eating away at her flesh.
 
She wanted it off but it would just have to
burn its way through before it would be done.

I’m so fucking weak. Why can’t I suck it up? I
surely make a pathetic soldier.

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t
be acting like this. This soldier is being weak,” she continued as she
attempted to calm herself again by taking another deep breath. It did no good
as she felt her body still trembling.

He shook his head. “Stop,
don’t apologize. You’re much stronger than most. The memory fog… well, it’s not
going to be easy but I’m here.”

He smoothed her hair
and gave her a gentle squeeze. The memory fog was meant to beat soldiers into
submissive, emotionless robots. When withdrawn from the medicine it beat them
into further emotional madness. Soldiers would beg for it again, they would
prefer the unfeeling state than the brutal emotional turmoil that the withdrawal
gave. Memories and emotions could be the greatest form of torture.

“What happened to you,
Michelle? What were you remembering?” he asked softly as he held her body close
to his.
 
Whatever was causing her pain,
he wanted to end it. He barely knew the little female but he felt incredibly
protective over her. It enraged him knowing that something was causing her
hurt. He wanted to beat whatever or whoever did this to her into a bloody pulp.

“It’s OK now, I’m
here,” she replied weakly.

“Whatever happened to
you before, well, I’m here to protect you now. Just let me keep you safe,” he
said as he soothingly rubbed her back and pulled her closer onto his lap.

She accepted his embrace;
it was the only thing that was helping her feel safe.

Not just feel, but I am safe,
she reminded herself that must have saved her life
and surely risked his in the process.

She didn’t want him to
leave. She didn’t want to be alone in outer space with no one she knew, having
to bear these horrible memories she had locked away for so long.

“Please stay with me,”
she said without her normal hesitation. Her eyes were wide and desperate. Her
body still trembled with the intensity of it all. Even though she was supposed
to be strong, she couldn’t bear to be alone, no, not right now.

He nodded. “I will.
Just let it all out, baby. Just let it out.”

Her small body shook
with sobs as she clung to him. She cried until she fell back asleep.

Michelle woke up
feeling safe and warm. It was a strange feeling she hadn’t felt it since she
was a child. She looked to Serik who was holding her. He was sleeping soundly.
 

How long have I been out?
she
wondered to herself. It
seemed like all she had done the past few days was sleep. She was barely able
to stay awake for a few minutes at a time. When she was awake Serik would give
her a warm broth-like drink. She would usually just take a few sips and go back
to sleep.

She studied him for a
few moments. She looked over the numerous scars on his massive, muscular frame.
Despite his deep green scars, she couldn’t deny that he was indeed extremely
handsome, maybe even more than she initially thought when she first saw him. It
had been many years since she had thought of a man as handsome. She had to
admit his size was kind of intimidating, but it was also kind of comforting.
She felt safe knowing he was watching over her. It made her feel small; it made
her feel feminine again. She wasn’t sure if she liked that feeling anymore but
there it was.

His face had a chiseled
look to it. His features were symmetrical and he had full lips that looked soft
to the touch. No matter how hard she tried to deny it; she was attracted to
him, very attracted to him. Attraction was something she hadn’t felt in such a
long time. It seemed almost foreign to her. She inhaled his sharp masculine
scent. It reminded her of a combination of fresh rain and pine. It also had a
sort of spicy scent to it that she just couldn’t place. She had never smelled
anything like his scent. She could another whiff; it was delightful.

She carefully and
quietly left his embrace. It felt too strange to have someone to hold her after
being alone for so long. Besides, she barely knew him, even if he did save her
life and comfort her as she had a major freak out, he was still a stranger.

Have I ever even been held like this before? I don’t
know if I have or if I just can’t remember…

She quietly slipped out
of the bedroom door.

She felt awful as she
moved. The pain was both physical and emotional. She felt as though someone had
stabbed in her in the heart with a knife and was toying with the blade. She had
lost everything. She wanted to rummage around his cabinets and swallow a bottle
of poison. She wanted a gun, a knife, or anything really. She wanted to end it
and take the pain away. She didn’t want to face being the only one left. She
didn’t want to face what was ahead of her.

She slowly crept out
the bedroom and began to look around down a dark hallway. It was extremely dark
with only a faint glow coming from what appeared to be the control panel.

Michelle realized it
was cold, in fact it was freezing. Her bare feet felt almost numb on the
metallic floor. She patted the back of her neck to see if it was the effects of
her cooler pack but she quickly realized it had been removed. The skin on the
back of her neck felt a little raw from wearing it for such a long time.

I don’t know if I’m just used to the desert on Redex
or if he keeps this thing on subzero.

She headed back to the
bedroom. Her muscles felt sore.

I’ve only taken a few steps, why do I feel as though
I just ran a marathon?

She was tired. Her muscles
felt
exhausted.nShe
lay there almost immobile from
pain and exhaustion. She thought of those she loved and those who had shown her
kindness in her life.

It was then realized
that she was far too angry to kill herself.

The battle on Redex had
ended, she assumed it had ended on Earth as well, but now it raged within her.

Death would come for
her but she would die fighting. She vowed to herself that she would avenge
those that she had lost. She would do all that she could. She would have to
live.

She rubbed her arms for
warmth as she relaxed back into the bed. She felt weak but she didn’t want to
go back to sleep quite yet. She pulled the covers around her and relished the
warmth that Serik was giving off. For the first time she noticed how soft the
bed was. She lay on her side and propped her head up with arm. She looked over
to the sleeping form beside her. He had saved her, comforted her, and cared for
her. She wasn’t sure why but he did.

Serik…

She studied his face
again, memorizing the lines of his green scars. He had one scar that just
narrowly missed his left eye.

The left eye, that was his blue eye,
Michelle had never seen eyes like his. They were
beautiful, exotic, unique, but most of all they were intense. She felt nervous
when those eyes looked at her.

His chest was bare exposing
his powerful build and muscles. She noticed several other dark green scars on
his back and arms. They seemed deep and once painful. Michelle wasn’t sure how
he got them but they looked like they must have been excruciating. There were a
few lighter green ones as well that looked newer in nature to the others.

You ask what happened to me… what happened to you, Serik?

***

The next day Michelle
woke up alone. She tried to feign off the disappointment that rattled her
insides but she couldn’t. She felt incredibly alone without Serik beside her.

Stop it. You barely know the man, well,
wait,
he’s not even a human. You barely know the giant
alien. He felt sorry for you and saved you for some unknown reason; he doesn’t
need you acting like a little love sick puppy so stop it! You’re probably just
slowing him down from wherever he is supposed to be going.

The giant alien, who saved you from a certain death?
a
small voice in the back of her mind reminded her.

Michelle sat up only
for a wave of dizziness to hit her. She felt the pain creeping along her
temples expanding to the rest of her head. She quickly lay back down.
 
She felt a wave of frustration sweep of her. She
was angry but she was also very weak.

She looked up to see Serik
come in the room with a concerned expression on his face. It was as if he knew
she felt unwell.

“How did you know?” she
blurted out without thinking.

“I could… well, I could
sense you,” he said seemingly embarrassed.

She felt out of
control. She was supposed to be strong. She was a soldier for Christ’s sake but
here she was laid out barely able to move.

“Will I ever get
better? Am I going to be bedridden the rest of my life?” she said as she tried
to sit up. She fought back another strong wave of dizziness to get the words
out.

Serik let out a soft
chuckle. “No, you actually are healing a lot faster than I thought you would. You
are a fighter.”

Despite the dizziness,
Michelle didn’t want the interaction to end; she wanted to understand what was
going on. She desperately continued.

“I don’t feel like a
fighter right now. Are you sure?” she questioned. The words felt as though they
were as heavy as bricks as she slowly got them out of her mouth.

“Yes, you’ll be back to
normal soon. It is just memory fog withdraw,” Serik replied soothingly.

“Damn Earth Army,
always trying to kill me,” Michelle mumbled as she rubbed her temples trying to
fight back the piercing headache.

Serik chuckled. “You’re
funny, even when you’re having memory fog withdraws.”

“Maybe it’s what’s
making me funny,” she retorted.

He grinned.

“Lay back down,” he
instructed.

Unable to fight the
pain anymore she did as he instructed and relaxed against the bed. His large
hands moved up to her head and gently pressed on few different points relieving
the pressure.

“Oh, Serik,
ahhh
, that feels so much better,” she choked out. Michelle
closed her eyes and relaxed. She was grateful for Serik; he was nurturing and
kind. Without him she surely would have been dead. She was amazed at how
quickly the pain began to diminish.

Serik continued with
the pressure point therapy. He was thankful that her eyes were closed. Her
calling out his name had sent him into a state of arousal with his shaft
beginning to harden. He silently cursed to himself. It had been far too long
since he had interacted with a female and his body was trying to betray him. The
slight brush of her hand against his skin drove him mad with desire. He
breathed in her feminine scent only causing matters to get worse.

“Just relax, Michelle,”
he cooed.

Before he knew it she
was back to sleep.
 

He silently cursed at
himself as he looked over her as she slept.

I’m her protector; I’m not some lovesick mate
hunter. I have to stop these thoughts. She’s just in my care until I can get
her somewhere safe for humans; nothing more.

Nothing more.