A Soul For Chaos (The Soulbearer Trilogy) (23 page)

“This way.” He turned down a hallway, stumbling every few steps.

Worry bloomed inside her chest. She’d never dreamed she’d ever see Dev drunk. He always wanted to be in control, to not let anything distract him from his duty. His slip alarmed her, especially after his warning when they entered the dining room this evening. Then guilt replaced her worry. What if he was drunk because he drank her cordial?

Something nagged at the back of her mind as she steadied Dev and kept him from falling against the wall. None of the others who drank the cordials seemed to be affected like he was. “
Loku, do you think someone could have tampered with our cordials?”

“It’s possible. Selgian cordial is strong, but not that strong
,” he said with a hint of amusement in his voice.

Something she needed to remember to speak to Dev and maybe even the Mage Primus about tomorrow. In the meantime, she raised a shield around her and Dev. If someone tampered with their drinks, they were probably hoping to catch them with their guard down. If she’d just done what he’d told her to do, then she might have been the one stumbling around under the watchful eye of her protector.

As soon as they entered her chambers, she cast a ward around the room. Dev crashed on the bed, laughing at something.

Cinder came up to her and whimpered, his amber eyes full of worry.

She scratched the back of his head. “You and me both.”

Dev’s laughter had died by the time she reached the bed. She removed his boots and started the hunt for all his concealed weapons, removing the two knives from his sleeves and the dagger sheathed inside his jerkin. “Are there any I’m missing?”

Dev shook his head and slowly sat up, his eyes wide. “Do you have any idea how beautiful you look tonight?”

Under different circumstances, she might have treasured that compliment. But tonight, she knew it was the cordial talking. “You need to sleep this off.”

She tried to push him back on the mattress, but he caught her and brought her down with him, rolling on top of her. His fingers laced through hers, pinning her hands to the bed. “No, what I need is you.”

His lips came down hers before she had time to protest. They teased and coaxed, pleading with her to open her mouth to him. And when she relented, his kiss deepened.

Arden forgot to breathe. For months, she’d wondered what it would be like to kiss Dev. For months, she’d pushed that desire aside, thinking the day would never come. Now that it had happened, something stirred deep within her. She kissed him back, matching his hunger with her own. The sweetness of the cordial lingered on his lips, but it tasted more intoxicating there than it ever could have been in the glass. The clean scent of evergreens and snow enveloped her as she sucked in a deep breath.

He released her hands to explore her curves. The warmth of his touch burned through her dress and fanned her desire into a raging inferno. Her body rose to meet his, blurring the boundaries between them. She’d never experienced anything this intense, this powerful, in Kell’s arms. This is what passion felt like. This is what her body craved. This is what her heart had longed for.

“
Of course, Dev has to be drunk before he dares to kiss you
.”

Leave it to Loku to ruin the moment. Unfortunately, he was right. As much as she wanted to continue, she broke away and pushed him off her. “Dev, you’re not thinking clearly.”

“I think it’s very clear what I want.” He lunged for her again, but she jumped off the bed and backed away.

“If there is ever going to be anything between us, I want it to come from something other than too much Selgian cordial.” She retreated to her room. Cinder stood between her and Dev with his teeth bared, silently warning her protector to stay away. Once the ward was cast, she slid down along the door and hugged her knees to her chest.

It was never supposed to be this way. Dev was supposed to realize how much he wanted her and was supposed to kiss her softly, not drag her into bed in a fit of drunken lust. A renegade tear trickled down her cheek. If it took an abundance of potent liquor to make Dev want her, was there any hope for them?

Loku wrapped his invisible arms around her. “
It’s not what you think, Arden. He just needed to let his guard down to realize how much he cares for you.
”

“
Or make me realize what a big mistake almost happened.
” She wiped her cheek with the back of her hand and willed her eyes to stop watering. “
Face it, Loku, there will never be anything between us.
”

“
I seriously doubt that. Just be patient, my little Soulbearer. He’ll come to his senses eventually.
”

Or maybe he never would.

A deep ache formed in her chest, and her body trembled with silent sobs. No matter how much she cared for Kell, it would never compare to her love for Dev. Tonight, she’d been given a taste of something she could never have. Her heart belonged to the one man intent on breaking it, and there was nothing she could do to change it.

Chapter 20

In Dev’s dreams, Arden’s fingers dug into his back as she kissed him. The taste of her desire was so potent, it made him drunk with lust. Her hips rolled under him. The sweetness of her lips was tempered by the saltiness of her skin. Her moans encouraged him to explore the soft curves of her body, first with his hands and then with his mouth.

By Jussip, she’s going to be my undoing
.

He tore himself away from the temptress in his dreams and snapped his eyes open to reveal an empty bed. Sunlight streamed from the window, indicating it was almost midday. He sat on the edge of his bed and rubbed his face. He’d had dreams about Arden, but never this real, this intense. The only time it came close to that was the one night Loku manipulated his dreams.

He rose slowly, his groin protesting the lack of physical satisfaction he craved, and limped toward Arden’s door. “We’re going to be late for your testing.”

The door cracked open. “Are you feeling better this morning?”

You mean besides an aching head and a raging hard-on?
“I suppose.”

“That Selgian cordial must have been strong because you—” She stopped midsentence, and his stomach dropped.

What if it hadn’t been a dream?

Then he noticed her red-rimmed eyes, and the memories slammed into him with chilling clarity. He’d let his guard down. He’d pulled her into his bed and kissed her like he’d always wanted. And she’d kissed him back like she welcomed his touch. Then everything became a blur. She pushed him away, accusing him of being drunk before disappearing.

Drunk didn’t explain his behavior, nor excuse it.

He reached out to comfort her, but then thought better of it. After last night, he doubted she’d ever wanted him to touch her again. “I’m sorry, Arden.”

She met his gaze, her mouth opening and closing as though she was trying to decide the best way to answer. Pain clouded her eyes. “You didn’t know better. Besides, it’s not like this is the first time a drunk man tried to take advantage—” She caught herself again, but the damage had been done.

Guilt cooled his desire faster than a plunge in a cold bath. “I’m no better than them, I suppose.”

“No, Dev, it’s not that. It’s just…” She brushed past him, cursing under her breath. “Can we just forget about last night and move on. As you said, I’m already late for my testing.”

Not the answer he was hoping for, but better than some of the alternatives. “I’ll take you to the Mage Sextus, then.”

She avoided his gaze as they crossed the Conclave with Cinder only a few steps behind. The lack of conversation let the tirade in his mind take center stage.
How could I have been so stupid? Here I am, hoping to find a way to win her back, and I end up forcing myself on her. It’ll be a wonder if she ever lets me near her again.

He cast another glance at her puffy eyelids.
And maybe it’s better this way
. For as much as she seemed to enjoy him at first, she’d obviously spent some time crying afterwards. She already resented him from keeping information from her. Had his actions last night shattered the remaining trust between them?

“Dev, darling, I was wondering when you’d bring the Soulbearer to me,” Raggia, the Mage Sextus, said as he entered her chambers. His skin crawled as she brushed a kiss on his cheek. “Had a hard time waking her up, I suppose.”

“No, Raggia, I was the one who overslept.” He closed the door and stood behind Arden, adding some extra distance between him and the always overly friendly Mage Sextus. “Let’s get the testing started.”

“Very well.” Her grin fell, and her face hardened as she turned to Arden. “In order to fairly assess your abilities, Soulbearer, I need to contain Loku.”

Arden’s shoulders squared. “Are you accusing me of relying on him to cheat?”

“You’ve become quite comfortable channeling his powers from what I’ve been told.”

“The few times I’ve done it were in dire situations. I know the consequences of asking him for help, and I won’t be using his powers for something like this.”

He’d seen Arden being stubborn plenty of times before, but there was a different edge to her today. She looked ready to punch Raggia. Time to intervene. “Arden is quite capable of using magic on her own, as I’ve witnessed numerous times in my training of her so far.”

“I still won’t have the taint of Loku in my chambers.” Raggia’s face turned an unflattering shade of red. “I refuse to conduct her testing if he’s not contained.”

“And I refuse to be tested by someone who is already accusing me of cheating before we even begin.”

The fireplace behind Raggia roared to life, and Dev sucked in a breath through clenched teeth. It was the Imperial throne room all over again. He stepped between the two women and pushed Arden back into a corner. “You need to learn to control your temper, or you’re going to end up in those chains.”

Arden closed her eyes, and the tension eased from her body. “I refuse to contain Loku. He’s done nothing wrong, and I would rather have him able to help me if we’re attacked. Remember what happened last time we contained him.”

Too well. They both ended up in a dungeon. “I see your reasoning, but in order to honestly test your powers, we need no interference from Loku.” He said it more to the chaos god then her, and the halo in her eyes flashed in response.

“Fine. Loku and I have reached an arrangement.” The halo dimmed until it was almost invisible. “He’s retreated to the very far corners of my consciousness.”

Dev turned to Raggia. “Is that acceptable to you?”

She tapped her nails on a book. “I suppose, but the moment I sense any taint of chaos, I’ll end the testing.”

“Sounds fair to me.” He led Arden to the chair across Raggia’s desk. “Let’s begin the testing.”

Raggia leaned in closer than necessary, her breasts brushing against his arm. “And that means no interference from you, either, Dev.”

The Mage Sextus had borne a grudge against Arden from the moment they met, but he hoped her unrequited infatuation wouldn’t cause her to harm Arden. “If I see the Soulbearer threatened in any way, I will intervene.”

“But you know as well I do that I need to test how she’ll react in certain situations.”

He resisted the urge to cast a shield around Arden. Whatever Raggia had planned, it was going to be more strenuous than the normal battery of tests.

The Mage Sextus sat down at her desk and unrolled a scroll. “You’ve already shown me your ability to start a fire. Rudimentary spell, of course.” She wrote something down on the parchment. “Now let’s begin the real test.”

One by one, Raggia presented Arden with an increasingly difficult series of tasks to perform, from levitation of progressively heavier objects to churning up a windstorm. With each task, Arden grew paler, and fatigue hampered her movements, but she nodded every time she was asked if she wanted to continue.

Admiration bloomed inside his chest as he watched her. Most students would’ve given up by now, but Arden seemed determined to prove herself. However, he knew the consequences of over-extending her magic and worried she might push herself too far, leaving her unable to defend herself if her attacker managed to break through the protective spells of the Conclave.

The current task involved extracting water from a plant. Arden stared at it, her brows drawn together in concentration, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. Sweat dripped down the side of her face. She gripped the edge of the desk, leaning toward the plant in the center of it.  He was just about to call it off when the leaves started to shrivel. Beads of water formed along the main stem and flowed up to a pool that formed over the plant.

His jaw dropped. This was a spell even beyond his abilities, and yet Arden was doing it without any instruction. He’d always known her powers ran deep, but he never believed they were as strong as she now demonstrated. He searched her eyes for the telltale sign of Loku’s assistance, seeing nothing.

“Very impressive,” a man said from the doorway.

Raggia jumped to her feet and hid the scroll behind her back. “Mage Primus, I wasn’t expecting you back so soon.”

“I can see that.” He strolled into the room, rounding the desk to take a closer look at what Arden managed to conjure. “This magic is far more advanced that what we usually test our entering students on.”

“Well, um, I—I mean, she—” Raggia wrung the scroll behind her back while she retreated from him.

The Mage Primus rested his hand on Arden’s shoulder. The drops of water fell to the desk, splattering Raggia’s papers, and she slumped back in her chair. “I’ve seen more than enough. Dev, please take her to my chambers.”

Dev scooped Arden up into his arms, savoring the way her head fell against his shoulder as he carried through the halls. “You were magnificent,” he whispered to her.

“Was I?” She yawned. “You don’t think she was doing something she wasn’t supposed to, do you?”

If her reaction was any indication, Raggia had more than overstepped her bounds. But he would leave that to the Mage Primus to deal with. “Don’t worry about her. You proved you are a truly gifted mage.”