A Soul Mate's Promise (23 page)

“And this is why you’re upset and he’s fighting with his dad?” I nod.

“Okay, so he chooses to go. He’ll be back–how long could it take? The man is serving his country. He’s not going on the front line of combat. he’ll be fine Sis.”

I start to cry, again. “You don’t understand, Steve. If I tell you something, swear to me you won’t think I’m crazy… please, on mommy and daddy’s graves.”

My brother leans over the table and rests on his elbows. “All right, tell me.”

I tell Steve about it all. The dreams, the sense I’ve known Sal forever, the gypsy, the psychiatrist. The promises. He sits very still and quiet through the whole story. Then he rubs at his eyes and shakes his head.

“I have been all over this world Gracie,” he says. “I have seen way too many unexplainable things. Every culture has their own take on all kinds of spiritual beliefs. The words
soul mate
are used all over.  Every culture have various representations of it, like angel or guardian, even protector. In Haiti it’s called
Konpayon nanm
. In Hindi,
Sathina
. But it all comes down to the same thing. All believe we have them. I know you Gracie, and I don’t think you are crazy. I believe, just knowing how strongly you’re feeling about it.

“What your doctor and the psychic told you seems right to me. I also have read a little on past life regression. Like I said, I have seen a lot of unexplainable things in my travels. Who’s to say it’s not true?”

I swipe my arm across my face. My eyes are burning with tears and lack of rest. “Now you know. That’s why I don’t want him to leave. This is just like one of my dreams, Steve. He might not come back.”

“I can understand how you must feel.” My brother sighs. “I do see how much you both love each other. I just don’t know what to tell you guys.” He pauses. “Maybe this time, it really
will
be okay.”

The shouting gets louder, but it’s in Italian. My brother and I both look over at Antonio’s.

“Should you go over there?” my brother asks.

“No, I think I’m gonna let Pop help me out on his own on this one.”

I was so grateful my older brother came for a visit. His love of travel and helping the less fortunate around the world made him stronger and wiser then his years. I was glad I filled him in and he understood.

*       *       *

Sal sat down on a chair on his father’s deck staring at him. “Pop, I’m going to come back, I swear it, I would never leave Gracie.”

“I told you from-a-the beginning! Don’t you hurt that girl, she can’t take no more. You love her–a-son, what are you doing this for?”

“Pop please, I have a job to do, just please keep an eye on her. I’ll have Lou come by, too.  Listen, I know you and Gracie are upset because of her dreams, but I’ve got a duty to do. Would you leave your partner or other police officer’s hanging? No you wouldn’t! Just please, understand. I will come home and I will marry the love of my life!”

“The thing is son, what if you don’t? I’m-a-so afraid of-a- what she might do. She loves you so much–why you gotta tempt fate? You almost died once in-a-that prison. What if some thing goes wrong again?”

*       *       *

The rest of the day was a quiet one. Gracie stayed up in her room. Sal did his best to get her to help take down their first, glorious tree, but she refused, explaining she wasn’t feeling up to it. So, he and Steve spent the afternoon packing ornaments and lights and hauling the tree out of the house.

When it was time for dinner, Sal again approached her. “Gracie, your brother and I would like to know what you would like for dinner? Or we could go out…”

“I’m not hungry,” she answered. “Why don’t you guys go out? I have no appetite.”

“Gracie, you have to eat. You’ve been up here all day and I’m not going to leave you alone. We have a few days left…”

“A FEW DAYS?” she shrieked, cutting him off. “When do you have to leave?”

Sal looked down to the floor and hesitated. “I leave on the second.”

She looked away from him, and tears started to flood her eyes again. Sal rushed to her side to hold her.

She put up her hand to keep him away. “Don’t. Just don’t. Please, just leave me alone.”

Sal slowly bent down to try to make eye contact. “Understand this,” he growled. “I will never leave you alone. NEVER!”

She put her hand to his chest and looked up at him. “But you are leaving me,” she said in a small voice.

His heart was breaking. If he didn’t go, he’d never be able to look himself in the mirror again. And if he did go, it just might kill the woman he loved.

“Gracie,” he whispered, kneeling in front of her and putting his head in her lap. “You are my life. Please understand when I tell you I will be back. Class C, remember? Nothing should go wrong. It’s all I can tell you for now. Please come down and eat. Spend the last few days at my side. Tomorrow is New Year’s Eve and I want to bring in the New Year with the woman I am going to spend the rest of life with. Please don’t shut me out.”

CHAPTER 23

Though I’m no good at pretending, I manage to join Sal and Steve and we ordered a pizza. I barely got one slice down my throat. Sal watches me struggle to eat it. My brother on the other hand took a different approach, he just made sure my wine glass wasn’t empty.      

Later that night in bed, Sal holds me while I cry silently into my pillow. He doesn’t know what to say or do anymore. He rolls me over to face him so I’m on my side, my head resting on his bare chest. He caresses my hair and rubs my back. I finally start to relax.

“Sal,” I whimper, “I understand why you have to do this, but I’m so scared of what might happen–and I’m going to stay scared until you come home.”

“I will come home, Gracie. But I’m worried you’re going to make yourself sick in the meantime. You won’t eat and I
know
you won’t sleep. I wish your brother was going to stay longer, but he leaves the same day as me. Please promise me you’ll take care of yourself. I understand why you’re scared, but
please
don’t make yourself sick about it.”

Soon the wine and the tears catch up to me and I drift off to the sound of Sal’s heartbeat.

*       *       *

I wake before daybreak with a pounding migraine. I stumble to the bathroom to take some aspirin while Sal sleeps peacefully. I search for Toby who is sleeping on the floor. Making kissy noises, I get him to follow me down the stairs. Air–I need fresh air and a walk on the beach with some time to think, by myself.

It’s cool but not freezing and it feels so good on my swollen face. I can tell my eyes are puffy from all the crying and I’m sure I’ll look like hell for the New Year’s Eve party. Celine would know something’s wrong she has seen these eyes before she’ll be insane when she sees them again.

Just a day ago I was so excited to show her my ring, tell her our plans. And now, I feel like I’ve died and it’s all over.

As I walk on the beach the tears start again. Toby stays very close to me this morning, looking up at me every now and then.

I decide to go sit at the edge of the little pier that jets out over the water. I watch the sunrise in the purple, winter sky. I pray for Sal-and I pray for us. I shed a few more tears.

I sit very still, so still I can feel my heart beat with the pain in my head. I take slow, deep breaths with Toby lying right at my side.

When the sun is just about up, my headache is finally subsiding. I hear Toby’s tail thump on the wooden pier, I open my eyes and find Sal standing there. He doesn’t speak. He sits behind me and holds me in his arms as I lean back into him.

We don’t need to talk, we just need to be right there with each other.

*       *       *

Like I’m running on autopilot, I get ready for Celine’s big party. To keep the tears from starting, I have to subdue all emotion. My ring glitters in the mirror and I cringe.

I decide to wear my hair pinned up. I slither into my strapless black velvet gown with the slit to my thigh, matching it with a pair of sparkly black pumps. My diamond necklace and earrings finish the look. Simple yet classic.

I make my way towards the stairs. Sal is waiting as I come down. He smiles when he sees me. “Gracie, you are so damn beautiful.”

I smile, but I know it doesn’t reach my eyes. My eyes are still so sore from crying that they ache to close.

He lifts my chin, forcing me to look at him. “Beautiful… even when you’re sad,” he says as he leans in to kiss me tenderly on the lips.

My brother Steve shuffles in from outside and clears his throat, interrupting our kiss.

“The limo’s here, guys. Antonio’s already getting settled,” he says as he watches Sal and me descend the stairs. “Gracie, you look great!”

I answer him with a tight smile and a nod of my head. It is the best I can do.

We arrive at Celine’s party a little after eight. Though I hadn’t talked with her all week, I still battle the emotional war raging inside me. Would this be the last New Year’s with Sal in this lifetime?

Walking into the club with Sal on my arm, I can’t help but notice the decorations. As usual, Celine’s done an amazing job. Black table clothes on top of longer white ones cover the tables. The centerpieces are silver and gold Mylar balloons and each place is set with black, silver, and gold hats, favors and noisemakers to match. The D.J is playing popular current hits, and the dance floor is alive with excitement.

I spot Celine and manage a proper smile. I wave to her and she bolts toward us.

“BABYGIRL!” She yells, grabbing me into a hug. “I missed you like crazy. How was the trip?”

I take a deep breath and hold my left hand up to my face, exposing the ring and I wiggle my finger.

“AHHH!” She squeals in delight. “Are you shittin’ me? Oh my god–lemme see it!” She tugs my hand closer to her face. “You done good, Sal, You done real good.”

I can’t help the tears that develop in my eyes and my smile contorts into a pain-filled mask. Sal squeezes his arm around my shoulders. “Gracie, please don’t,” he whispers.

“I’m trying,” I hiss.

Celine takes a step back, her eyes darting between Sal and me. “Okay, cut the bullshit, you two. What’s wrong?” She raises an eyebrow at Sal.

“Looks like you ladies need some girl chat,” Sal notes.

Celine takes me by my arm. “We sure do, I’ll bring her right back, Sal. Go to the bar and get yourself a drink or two.”

Celine rushes me out of the club and we head for the ladies room. On the way, she grabs two flutes of champagne off of a waiter’s tray.

“Here,” she says as she shoves one at me. “Drink.” I take the glass but it reminds me of the champagne on the plane and more tears burn at my eyes.

“Jesus, Gracie, what the hell is wrong, baby?”

“He’s leaving,” I say in between deep breaths. “He’s going to leave on a mission.” Clutching my hand over my heart as I continue to sob, I try to explain. “Bad feelings….I have a bad feeling.”

I do my best to calm down and tell Celine the whole story. Finally, I’m out of steam. “He’s sure he’ll return-that he’ll be safe.”

“Do you believe him baby?” Celine says, tilting her head.

“A part of me wants to. But it’s being overshadowed by this overwhelming feeling of dread and sadness. I had it months before I knew any of this, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Why Celine, why would fate do this? Why would God let this happen? What have I done to deserve so much pain?”

“Oh no you don’t, Gracie,” Celine says with a firm shake of her head. “Oh no, you just didn’t say that to me. You have done
nothing
wrong. It’s gonna be all right. Maybe Sal’s right and you should believe him. Look at me. You’re gonna be fine,” she says as she grabs my shoulders, giving me a shake.

She takes a tissue and dabs my eyes. I knew your eyes looked puffy to me. I couldn’t imagine you’d be crying that much about your engagement. Now I get it. This sucks! It just plain out sucks!”

“I’m sorry Celine, I don’t want to be a party pooper…”

“Now Gracie cut the crap. We are going to fix your make-up. You’re going to tell everyone you’re engaged. And you are going to dance with your sexy man. Next week we will get to the bottom of this–we’ll call that Dr. Brooks or hell maybe we should call the psychic–you still have her number? She might have a little insight to all this that might make you feel better.”

I nod, then gulp the rest of my champagne down. “I’m going to need another one of these,” I say, handing her the empty glass. “I like your idea Celine, but let’s keep that to ourselves.”

Celine nods in agreement and helps fix my make-up. She looks at me in the mirror as she asks, “So when does he leave?”

“Day after tomorrow,” I whisper as though by not saying it too loud will keep it from happening.

“Alright then, I’ll be over the day after that.” Then she hugs me.

I make it back to the party and find my three men stuffing their faces with shrimp at the seafood bar. They are a handsome trio in their suits. Sal’s in his tux again so he can match my black dress. He spots me instantly and holds up a small plate that consists of shrimp and some other appetizers. I take the plate and just stare at the food.

“You will eat tonight, Princess, if I have to feed you myself.” he warns. “You and Celine have a nice talk?”

“Yep,” I reply, still looking at the food.

“Is everything all right?”

I look up at him, his beautiful soft brown eyes so kind and warm searching mine for an answer. “I hope it will be.”

Dinner is served and I manage a few nibbles here and there. I tried to listen to the conversations around the table, but the chatter was almost incoherent. The entire time Sal has me in his touch. My arm, my hand, even a squeeze on my leg under the table now and then.

Celine dances with my brother and flirts with him. It’s all in good fun and my brother played right along with her. I can’t help but to laugh and it’s a welcome relief.

About a half an hour before midnight, Celine announces for everyone to go outside into the courtyard. There we are each given a sky lantern.

“Has everyone received their lanterns?” Celine asks using a microphone. “Everyone also should have received an index card. This is what we’re gonna do. Write down on your cards the name of a loved one who’s passed, or send up a message for good luck and hope. Or, maybe you need to make a little wish, or you have to say goodbye…” Celine glances in my direction. She puts her hand to her mouth to catch her emotions.

“Okay everyone,” she continues and then clears her throat. “Let’s get started! We launch them at midnight!”

Sal, my brother Steve, Antonio and I each have a sky lantern and an index card. The lanterns are made of some sort of tissue paper-like material with a bamboo frame. A small wax fuel cell is suspended in the middle.

We each write something on our cards and stick them in the lantern. Steve asks me to join him on a little prayer for our parents, and Sal and Pop write something for Marie.

When it comes time for me to write my note, my stomach twists in a knot. Through watery eyes I write out my New Year’s wish.

Salvatore, my protector, You healed my heart and made me believe in love again. For what I feel, love is not a strong enough word. You have awoken my soul. May you come back to me unharmed. Until then, I will pray on your promise.

My eternal soul mate.

Sal hands me his card, speaking softly. “Here,” he says, “I want you to read it.”

I take the card from him and hand him mine.

Gracianna, my, Princess. My heart missed you before I knew you existed, I found you broken, and you let me in. In my darkness you gave my life back its light. My love for you is as big as the universe and beyond. I will always protect and cherish you. I am forever by your side, a promise that I won’t break.

My love, my soul mate.

Time seems to freeze while we read our cards. Sal smiles and pulls me into his embrace. We kiss and our emotions swirl around us.

“It’s all going to be fine, Princess,” he whispers in my ear. “It’s all going to be fine.”

On the stroke of midnight, everyone lights their lanterns and lets them go. Sal and I watch as ours rise up into the night sky. I cling to Sal’s arm as though he might fly away, too. 

People clap and cheer and blow their noisemakers to ring in the New Year. I give New Year’s hugs and kisses to family and friends. We sing along to ”Auld Lang Syne” and when it’s over and the lanterns are far away from sight, Sal takes my hand and escorts me back into the club. That’s when I hear it…
our song
.

“A Time to Say Goodbye.” The haunting melody stops me cold, paralyzing me and breaking me in two. Sal holds me tighter as if knowing I will crumble if he doesn’t. He puts a hand under my chin and gives me a reassuring look. “Dance with me, Princess. They’re playing our song.”

He leads me to the dance floor and holds me tight. We slowly sway to the music and he wipes away a stray tear and kisses me gently as we dance.

Most of the guests stare and smile at us in celebration of our engagement. Our close friends and family gaze upon us with mixed emotions, knowing our situation.

Sal has to leave me and I’m petrified I’ll loose him forever…

*       *       *

We get home shortly after one o’clock in the morning. An exhausted Antonio bids us goodnight and my brother heads to his room, as well.

Sal takes my hand and we stroll down the hall and into our room. He shuts the door and proceeds to get undressed. As he does he never removes his eyes from me.