A Stallion's Touch (8 page)

For a moment his mind went blank, with nothing there but empty space. Then thoughts of Tarah Boudreaux billowed through the fog. Nicholas had imagined he'd heard her name from one of the many people around him. There was so much commotion, and he couldn't understand why no one would answer his questions. Then he couldn't remember if he had even asked any.

He wished he could contribute to the conversation, but words were lost to him. He wanted someone to call her. To tell her he was fine and would be all right. He imagined that she would be worried about him, and he didn't want her distracted with concern. He wished he could tell her himself that everything was going to be okay.

White dots danced behind his closed lids, and it felt like he was enjoying his own private light show. Then the room, or his body, or both, began to spin in a tight circle, the vertigo like a really bad amusement ride. It was suddenly hot and he felt as if he couldn't inhale any air.

Someone he thought to be Nathaniel told him to breathe, and when he did he realized there was a mask over his face and cool oxygen blowing up his nostrils. He tried to lift his hand, to wave his appreciation, but the straps were too tight around his arms.

He closed his eyes, then wondered when he'd opened them or if they'd actually been open the entire time. He struggled to gather his thoughts, to make sense of his situation. But when he couldn't, he let his mind go again, thinking only of Tarah, and football. He imagined her there, whispering in his ear, her soft cheek pressed against his, her warm breath like the sweetest song as he waited for her to laugh.

She was as beautiful as ever, and then she kissed him, her lips brushing lightly over his as she admonished him to rest.

* * *

Tarah was standing at the door to the hospital's helipad when the life flight aircraft landed. She'd been waiting since her brother had called to give her the update on Nicholas's condition.

After being transported from the football field to the hospital, he'd been assessed, stabilized, lightly sedated, put on a plane and flown from Minneapolis into Phoenix. According to Nicholas's brother, the preliminary diagnosis was a cervical spine injury with potential neurological deficits. But Tarah knew there was a host of things that needed to be sorted out before any definitive prognosis could be made. Nicholas needed a full neurological exam to assess his motor, movement and sensory functions. Only then would any doctor be able to give them a full diagnosis and predict his chance of recovery.

Her recommendation to transfer him to Phoenix Hope had been met with some reluctance. Dr. Nathaniel Stallion had not been wholeheartedly in agreement, concerned that moving his brother might do more harm than good. An extensive conversation with Dr. Harper and the neurological team at Mercy Hospital had helped change his mind. His understanding that the decision could very well mean the difference between Nicholas walking again or not had solidified the next steps.

Tarah watched as they lowered Nicholas from the plane, cautious about the monitors and tubes to which he was connected. As the medical team that had escorted him rolled his stretcher toward her, she suddenly felt her heart race, and her breath caught in her chest as she took a deep inhalation of air and held it. The staff meeting the flight pushed past her to help him inside. As they took a quick minute to assess his vital signs, Tarah moved to his side.

His eyes were closed and his breathing was slightly labored. She pressed her hand to his chest, feeling the beat of his heart against her palm. For just a quick moment she would have sworn that when she touched him, her own heart synced with his, the two tempos beating together evenly.

Leaning over him, she wrapped her arm above his head and dropped her face close to his. She pressed her cheek to his cheek, the sensation of his warm flesh against hers drawing tears from her eyes. She exhaled, and her warm breath gently brushed against his skin.

The sweetest breeze blew by Nicholas's nose, and the scent of vanilla and jasmine washed over him. He opened his eyes, his lashes fluttering, then closed them, then opened them again. He struggled to focus. Everything was distorted.
I must still be dreaming
, he mused. Then suddenly there was no doubt in his mind that Tarah was actually there and not a figment of his imagination. She was close enough to touch and smell, her signature fragrance wafting in the space around him. He felt himself smile as he whispered her name, the cadence of it falling like a feather past his lips.

Tarah drew the back of her fingers down the side of his face. “I've got you, Nicholas. I'm right here and I've got you,” she whispered back.

* * *

Nathaniel and the rest of the family weren't too far behind, arriving some thirty minutes after life flight had departed for another trip. Everyone had flown in on one of the private planes owned by Noah's wife, Cat Moore. A sea of Stallions and Boudreaux practically ambushed the reception area, everyone anxious for information. Tarah met them at the door, hugs and kisses sweeping around the room.

“How is he?” Naomi asked, wringing her hands nervously. “No one's told us anything.”

Her sister, Natalie, and Natalie's husband, Tinjin Braddy, pressed anxiously at her elbow.

“I need to see him,” Nathaniel insisted. “I want to know what's going on. I need to be with him.”

Tarah nodded. “The nurse will take you right on up, Nathaniel. Dr. Harper arranged for you to have full medical privileges while you're here but wanted to remind you that treating your brother would be a conflict of interest. Dr. Mingo is the orthopedic specialist on the medical team that will be working on Nicholas, and you are welcome to shadow him. He's waiting to talk to you when you're ready. Dr. Harper asked that if you disagree with any decisions about Nicholas's treatment plan, you speak with him directly.”

Nathaniel nodded his appreciation. He lightly squeezed her elbow, then hurried behind the nurse, who gestured for him to follow. Tarah turned her attention to the Stallion siblings. “Nicholas is resting comfortably. He's sedated, and we'll be running a battery of tests on him for the next few hours. Once we get all the results back, I'll come talk to you.”

“He's going to be okay, isn't he?” Natalie questioned. “Everyone's been talking in circles and using big medical words that none of us understands.”

Tarah took a deep breath. The initial prognosis didn't look promising. Dr. Harper was still assessing Nicholas's injuries, but the consensus was that he might never walk again. But there wasn't enough information to tell his family that their brother was permanently paralyzed at that time. Despite all of her medical training, even she hadn't been willing to accept that idea.

She slowly blew out the breath she'd been holding. “Nicholas has a very long road ahead of him. He's suffered severe trauma to his spinal cord, and it's very serious. To explain it as simply as I can, the brain and spinal cord are made up of cells called neurons. Those neurons gather and transmit signals throughout the body. Signals that help us move, control our central nervous system, all kinds of things. Nicholas's neurons have been severely damaged.” She paused and took a deep breath before she continued.

“Now, there are two types of injured neurons, ones that are dead and ones that are only stunned. Dead neurons can't recover. With the stunned neurons, if we can create the right environment for the spinal cord, they can return to normal and function again. Right now, we're trying to determine if his neurons can recover so we know exactly how to make that happen.”

Noah moved to stand by his sisters. “Be honest with us. Will he walk again? Nathaniel won't say, but we know he's concerned.”

Tarah hesitated a second time. “We're going to do everything in our power to ensure a full recovery. And whatever we can't do, you all know God will.”

“So we need to pray for a miracle,” Naomi commented, her head waving from side to side. There was a hint of skepticism in her tone.

Tarah reached out and squeezed Naomi's hand. Tears misted the woman's eyes, and she swiped them away with her forearm.

Noah nodded his head in understanding. “Thank you, Tarah. We really appreciate everything you've done.”

Tarah gave them a slight smile. “Someone will be down in a moment to take you all up to one of the family waiting rooms on the surgical floor. You'll be more comfortable there, and if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask.”

As Tarah turned, she overheard chatter in the close distance.

“Wow!” Kamaya exclaimed. “Was that doctor our baby sister?”

“Our baby has really grown up,” Maitlyn said. “And she's a doctor! I can't wait to tell Mom!”

Chapter 7

N
icholas had gotten proficient at pretending to be asleep when the team of doctors came into the room. The drugs also helped. He let them talk among themselves as if he weren't even there. They debated treatment, argued tactics and were all genuinely concerned with his recovery. His family had come and gone a few times, always praying over him at least once each time. Sometimes Naomi cried and his sister rarely, if ever, let anyone see her do that. Natalie, on the other hand, bawled like a baby, reminding him of when they were younger and she was always crying about something. Noah was keeping them grounded, though, always taking his role as big brother seriously.

Since arriving at the hospital, they'd had to get his blood pressure stable, and for a brief time, he had needed assistance breathing. He'd been given steroid medications to reduce the swelling of his spinal cord, and there had been a host of other tests done including X-rays, MRIs, CT scans and an ultrasound of his kidneys. They'd stuck him with pins to see how he responded to the pricks. He'd been made to try to move different parts of his body to test the strength of his muscles. After that, he'd closed his eyes and had pretended not to know they were in the room. He'd lost count of how many times every test, comment and gesture had been repeated.

Since that first day, he and Tarah had only one full conversation. He'd woken to find her by his bedside, eyeing him intently. Worry had creased her brow with the faintest line. As his eyes had adjusted, she'd smiled sweetly at him.

“You made quite an entrance,” she'd said teasingly. “How are you feeling?”

He'd shrugged his shoulders. “It's all good, right? This is nothing but a fluke?” He gestured down to his legs.

Tarah had taken a deep breath, her expression shifting into business mode. Her tone had been controlled and even. “Let me give you my doctor spiel,” she said.

His mouth had turned into a deep frown as he listened.

“You suffered an injury to your spinal cord. Your upper body is unaffected. You should have good trunk and abdominal muscle control. It helps that you were in great physical condition.”

“I heard one of the doctors say it's paraplegia? That means I'm going to be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life, right?”

“Technically, what you have is a lumbar and sacral injury to your lower spinal nerves called cauda equina syndrome. That means you'll have decreased control of your hip flexors and legs. You may never walk or feel anything below your belly button again. That's correct.”

“So is there a chance that I may feel something?”

“I can't say with any certainty. I'm just hoping you'll prove us all wrong. But that's going to require a lot of effort on your part. Most of your recovery will occur in the next six months. And as soon as we feel you're stable enough, we'll start rehabilitation.”

“What good is that going to do?”

“The goal of rehab is to help prepare you for life after you leave the facility so that you can be as independent as possible.”

He had pondered her comment for a moment, and then he'd turned his head away, sinking deep into a depression like he'd never known before. Angry at the world, Nicholas had taken his frustration out on Tarah. He'd been curt and distant, his sullen behavior bad at best. He'd found her bubbly personality off-putting because he couldn't see anything to be happy about. He brooded while she cheered. He was gloomy and she was the polar opposite. And although she hadn't been happy with him either, not once did she ever let it show.

Tarah had not concerned herself with his bad mood and even worse behavior. Pushing him to take control of his recovery became her mission as she interjected herself into his life on a daily basis, determined to support him. And then her antics had started.

Once they'd gotten him up and seated in a wheelchair, he had refused to cooperate, opting instead to stare out the window, wishing the hours away. Tarah had turned up every day right after lunch, cheerful and enthusiastic as she'd hijacked him and his wheelchair, taking him around the hospital campus and outside to get some fresh air. Her attentions had been steadfast and deliberate. Each and every time she'd drone on and on about her studies, her patients and what she loved about Arizona, starting with the heat. But despite everyone's efforts, Nicholas had been like ice, hard and cold.

Nathaniel had been there day in and day out, talking to him, motivating him, cheering him on and feeling immense guilt as if the accident had been his fault. Years earlier he'd prophesized something like this happening. It had been right around the time their brother Noah had reconnected with his high school honey. Catherine had fallen head over heels for the oldest Stallion's magic and was now his wife. Back then Nathaniel had advised him to retire and move on to something else before he wasn't able to move on to anything. Nicholas hadn't listened. At the time, too many unfulfilled dreams lingered in his head and heart.

Suddenly thinking about all his family made Nicholas smile, the first bend to his lips that had come since before his accident. The expression actually felt good, the muscles in his face feeling right again. Thinking back to his big brother, Nicholas had never fathomed any woman being able to get under his skin the way Catherine had gotten under Noah's.

He also hadn't believed that anything could have knocked him out of the game, changing the direction of his life. But he'd been wrong. Because he would probably never walk again. It had been a good run, and despite the hand now dealt to him, there wasn't much he could complain about.

He tried to sit upright. The effort required to drag his legs and pull his torso forward was exhausting. Tarah's warm voice suddenly sounded from the other side of the room.

“Why don't you use the buttons on the side of the bed to your left? You know you can incline your back and sit up that way, right?” she said as she moved to his side, leaning on the rail to stare down at him. “Would you like some help?”

Nicholas shook his head. “Hey there,” he said, his voice low and slightly pained.

She smiled. “Hey, yourself. You really should take your time trying to talk. Your throat will be sore for a while from when we removed your ventilator.”

He nodded, mindful of the emergency procedure that had been necessary to help him breathe. “Are you going to give me a hand so I can sit up or what?”

“Finally tired of lying around pretending to be out of it?”

“Who said I was pretending?”

Tarah tossed him a look. “It's your lie. Tell it any way you want to tell it.” She engaged the bed's remote and slowly lifted the back of it until his head was inclined upward. “And for the record, I'm really pissed off that you wouldn't talk to me before now. Playing sleep every time I came into the room was not cool. I'm just going to put that out here. I deserved better than that from you, Nicholas Stallion. You've been rude and nasty and haven't made any effort to excuse yourself for your behavior. But now I'm saying something. You really are not a nice guy!”

He took a deep breath as he reached out and grabbed the side rails with both hands. “Yeah, about that. I had a lot going on.” He met the cool stare she was giving him, and his expression tinged with embarrassment. He couldn't admit that being in his head had gotten the best of him. It was a level of depression he had never experienced before, and he hadn't wanted Tarah to see him like that. He also hadn't trusted what might have slipped out of his mouth. So he hadn't really spoken to anyone, not even his twin, despite everyone's efforts to engage him. And now he was ready to move on, to be done with the pity party he'd gotten lost in. He knew his attitude would have a major impact on what his future held for him.

“You're really lucky I like you!” Tarah said while rolling her eyes. “But I'm not giving you any more passes.”

“And I don't expect you to. You've already done too much for me. I owe you!”

“Darn right you do! And I plan to collect. Trust that!” She winked at him.

Nicholas's eyes widened slightly. “I know this sounds stupid, but damn!” he exclaimed. “I really can't feel my legs!”

Tarah reached out and squeezed his hand. Her touch was warm and gentle, and Nicholas felt his breath catch deep in his chest. The look on her face was soothing. “It's going to take some time for you to adjust. You have a long road of rehabilitation ahead of you. But I'll be right here with you.”

“You've got me, right? Isn't that what you said?”

“So you did hear me!”

He nodded. “I've heard everything everyone said. Everything
you
said, I trusted.”

From the moment he was lifted off that plane, Tarah had been right there with him. Every free moment she had was spent by his side, watching him sleep, watching him struggle, even catching him cry a time or two. She hadn't pushed or intruded on any of those moments when he'd needed to be left alone. His brothers had pushed. His sisters had intruded. Tarah had just allowed him to be, her presence comforting and easy like an expensive cigar and an aged scotch.

He knew that she had her studies and her patients and her spare time was minimal, but she'd given him each and every second of that spare time, not once hesitating or doubting her decisions. Even when he'd been at his worst, spewing venom, everything about his presence ugly, Tarah had overlooked his bad behavior and evil temper. She had been a rock when he'd been at his weakest, and he trusted that whatever trials lay ahead for him, Tarah would have him. She would catch him if he happened to fall.

The two exchanged a look, and in that moment a spark of understanding seemed to flicker between them. It was significant, and both settled easily into the comfort of it. They were friends, and the bond of that alliance was like steel embedded in concrete.

“I'm sorry,” Nicholas said. “I was horrible to you, and I couldn't blame you if you wanted nothing to do with me.”

“I don't turn on people I care about,” she said, finally shifting her gaze from his. “I understand you were going through some things. You just remember this moment, though, if the tables are ever turned and I start acting like a witch. You'll owe me a pass. Maybe even two.”

Nathaniel stepped into the room, interrupting the moment. Dr. Harper followed on his heels, the two men in deep discussion. Both came to an abrupt stop at the sight of Nicholas actually sitting up slightly.

“What's going on?” Dr. Harper questioned, looking from one to the other. He moved swiftly to Nicholas's side, his stethoscope raised to check his patient's pulse and heart rate.

Nicholas chuckled, amusement dancing over his face. “Dr. Boudreaux was giving me an update on my condition. It's the first time the drugs haven't had me woozy, and I had some questions.”

Dr. Harper shot her a look. “You should have had me paged,” he said matter-of-factly.

Tarah took a deep breath. “I've been here only for a moment, sir. And since I'm not officially on duty, I took that moment to have a private conversation with my boyfriend.”

Dr. Harper bristled. His gaze swept from her to Nicholas and back. “Mr. Stallion is the boyfriend you spoke of. The one you said was coming to town?”

Tarah nodded as she gestured from one to the other. “Yes. Dr. Thaddeus Harper, Nicholas Stallion. Nicholas, this is Dr. Harper.”

Nicholas laughed. “Neither of us anticipated me coming in with so much fanfare,” he said. “I'm sure these weren't the circumstances any of us imagined meeting under.”

Dr. Harper nodded, pretending to be occupied by his stethoscope. “Take a deep breath for me, please,” he commanded.

Nathaniel's eyes shifted from his brother to Tarah. The hilarity of the moment had him fighting not to laugh out loud. He crossed his arms tightly over his broad chest. He and Tarah exchanged a look as Dr. Harper went into his own dissertation about Nicholas's condition, reiterating everything Tarah had said to him.

“Do you have any questions?” Dr. Harper asked.

Nicholas hesitated for a quick minute. “Yeah.” he said finally. “How soon can I start rehab?”

* * *

“How long have you and Tarah been an item?” Nathaniel questioned, amusement dancing in his eyes. He dropped down onto the chair that Tarah had vacated just minutes earlier.

Nicholas shrugged. “We're not an item. We're just...well...” He shrugged again.

“She said you were her boyfriend.”

“Dr. Harper's been sweatin' her for a while now. I'm a good cover. That's all it is.”

“Cover, my ass! I see how you two look at each other!”

Nicholas shook his head. There was a moment of pause as he stared at Nathaniel. “It really doesn't matter anymore,” he said, his voice low. “I would never want to put this on her.”

“Put what on her?”

“All of this,” he said as he gestured with his hand, his fingers fanning the length of his legs. “What kind of man can I be in a wheelchair? She deserves better. Tarah deserves a whole man, not one who comes with pieces that barely work if they even work at all.”

Nathaniel narrowed his gaze. “What she deserves is a man who is going to love and respect her. Clearly, if she were concerned about your pieces working, she would let you know. I've gotten the impression that Tarah has never been shy about speaking her mind.”

Nicholas cut an eye at his brother. “I don't know...” His voice trailed off as his mind shifted into thought.

“What do you mean, you don't know?” Nathaniel questioned, eyeing him intently.

The brothers exchanged a look. Nicholas took a deep breath and held it for a moment before blowing it slowly past his lips. “Before my accident, I wouldn't have given it a second thought. I really like Tarah, and I wanted to see where we could take our relationship. But now...well... I feel like that window of opportunity has come and gone. It is what it is.”