A Step In Time (29 page)

I was slightly boosted when I arrived to see that Babs was already there – looking just as nervous as I felt. I took a deep breath, threw my shoulders back, and went to sit opposite her.

‘Amy,’ she said, kissing me hello. ‘Glad you could make it.’

‘I’ve got a lot to say,’ I said, putting my hands flat on the table. ‘So I think I might just start talking.’

Babs looked alarmed.

‘Can we order a drink first?’

She signalled to the waiter and ordered a glass of wine. I asked for a Diet Coke – I needed a clear head for this.

‘Right,’ I said briskly. ‘Here’s the deal. I don’t want to be a poster girl for toothpaste, or breakfast cereal, or hair dye. I don’t want to do any more reality TV, I don’t want to spend my life at photo shoots doing tell-all interviews, and I really, really don’t want to get back with Matty.’

Babs looked like she was going to say something but I held my hand up.

‘No,’ I said. ‘I know we were good together once, but he’s not what I want any more. I don’t want my old life back. I want to make new opportunities.’ I dug into my bag and pulled out my list.

‘Here are some of the shows I’m interested in. I’ve jotted down some casting directors, too. I also want a US agent, so if you can find someone you can work with that’s great. And I’d like to have a go at theatre, too.’

The waiter brought our drinks and Babs swigged her wine like someone who’d been stuck in the desert.

I took a mouthful of my Coke.

‘Real theatre,’ I said. ‘Not pantomime. And not Agatha Christie. I hate Agatha Christie.’

‘Harsh,’ said Babs. ‘Considering you’ve got an audition for
Poirot
.’

My jaw dropped.

‘Really?’ I whispered.

She grinned.

‘Not for a few weeks, but yes, really.’

I was speechless.

‘When you threw Matty out, he came to see me with his agent,’ Babs said. ‘He was furious and shouting the odds. But suddenly I realised he had more to lose than you do. You don’t need him, Amy.’

‘Well, that’s what I’ve been telling you for weeks,’ I said.

Babs gave me a sheepish smile.

‘I know,’ she said. ‘I’m sorry.’

She took another mouthful of wine.

‘It wasn’t just you who got seduced by that whole celebrity lifestyle thing,’ she said. ‘The commission was pretty good as well, you know?’

I smiled.

‘I know.’

She pulled out a list of her own. Hers, though, was on her iPad and looked very businesslike compared to my scribbled notes.

‘I’ve put lots of feelers out, and there are a few interesting things in the pipeline,’ she said. ‘Couple of TV shows. A film. An adaptation of some Thomas Hardy thing. Some ads in Japan – you know, to keep the wolf from the door.’

She leafed through her papers.

‘What about the
Strictly Stars Dancing
live tour?’ she said.

‘Ooh, yes,’ I said eagerly. ‘Is Patrick doing it?’

‘No idea,’ said Babs, making a note on her tablet. ‘They swap all the partners round on the tour anyway.’

‘Oh,’ I said, disappointed.

‘How do you feel about photo shoots and interviews?’ she said, carrying on regardless.

I thought about it. Talking about myself for half an hour. Being styled and wearing interesting clothes. Having my hair and make-up done. Being photographed …

‘I bloody love them,’ I said.

Babs beamed.

‘Great,’ she said. ‘How about now?’

‘Now?’ I said, surprised.

‘I’ve got a journalist from
Yay!
magazine waiting in the foyer,’ Babs admitted. ‘They want it for this week’s issue – perfect timing for the final, I thought. You can talk all about what you’re planning for the future and how you’re putting Matty behind you. Then if you’ve got time they’ve got a studio booked for an hour to do a few pics.’

‘I’ve got a couple of hours,’ I said, checking my watch. ‘But I’ve got plans for later.’ I wasn’t going to let Cora down – not when she’d asked me to be there when she broke the news to Ginny.

‘I can’t believe you’ve organised all this so fast,’ I said.

‘It seems you’re even more in demand now than you ever were,’ Babs said. She looked proud, as though it was completely down to her. ‘Everyone wants a piece of Amy the survivor.’

‘No more Amy Lavender the brand,’ I said, sensing she was on a roll again. ‘Just me being myself.’

She looked cross for a minute, then smiled.

‘Fine,’ she said. She picked up her phone and typed a brief text message.

‘She’ll be here in five minutes,’ she said. ‘Shall we run through what you should talk about?’

I gave her a fierce look.

‘I’ll be fine,’ I said. ‘Anyway, what about
Downton
? I really want something in a period drama.’

Babs screwed her nose up.

‘Nothing yet,’ she said. ‘But they’ve just been given the go-ahead for the next series so I’ll keep at it.’

She waved across the room as the journalist appeared. I recognised her as one who’d interviewed me a few times before. I knew she was nice and unthreatening and I knew she’d make me sound very brave in the interview. Brave, bold and ready for a new challenge – exactly how I wanted to come across. I winked at Babs.

‘All righty then,’ I said, downing my Coke and standing up to greet the writer. ‘Let’s do this. Amy Lavender’s back in business.’

Chapter Fifty-One

It was a whirlwind of a day, but I loved every minute. I realised I’d been a bit hasty in saying I wanted to ditch the celeb lifestyle altogether. I just had to make sure it didn’t interfere with my acting ambitions, that was all. My interview had gone really well and the photos were great – not overly sexy or too posed, just me looking happy. Babs was fully on board now, and had even suggested speaking to Cora to see if she could recommend an acting coach – she thought I should sharpen up my skills before I started auditioning and I thought it was a good idea.

But first we had to tell Ginny – and Natasha – all about Donnie.

Natasha came to get me, knocking on the back door as I lay on the sofa reading
Glamour
magazine.

‘Granny has asked me to invite you up for a drink,’ she said. ‘Are you busy?’

I threw
Glamour
down and stood up – I’d been ready for the last twenty minutes.

‘Nope,’ I said. ‘I’m all yours.’

‘She’s being very mysterious,’ Natasha said. ‘And she doesn’t look very well. She says she’s got something to tell us. I’m terrified she’s got some awful illness.’

We went out into the garden and I shut the patio doors behind us.

‘She’s fine,’ I said. ‘I’m sure she’s fine.’

Natasha gave me an odd look.

‘Do you know what this is about?’ she said.

I assumed an innocent expression.

‘Not sure,’ I muttered. ‘Shall we go in?’

Cora didn’t look well, Natasha was right about that. She was sitting in her winged-back chair with a blanket over her knees. She looked pale and delicate and her lipstick was like a pink slash across her white face.

‘Oh, Cora,’ I said. I went to her and took her hand. She squeezed gently.

‘Amy,’ Natasha said as another woman came into the room. ‘This is my mother, Virginia.’

Ginny was tall and willowy like Natasha but she had faded strawberry-blonde hair that tumbled down her back in curls. She was wearing pink patterned leggings, several layers of brightly coloured tops and an enormous necklace. On her wrist she wore lots of chunky bangles. She was very pretty and looked nothing like the classically elegant Cora, or chic Natasha. I wondered if she looked like Donnie.

‘Nice to meet you, Amy,’ said Ginny. ‘I hear you’ve done a great job looking out for Mum.’

‘I tried,’ I mumbled, aware that Cora didn’t look her usual sparky self at all.

‘Amy’s changed my life,’ Cora said. Ginny and Natasha both looked at her and then me in surprise. ‘Ginny, darling, you’d better sit down. I’ve got something to tell you that might come as a shock.’

‘Oh God, Mum, you’re not a lesbian, are you?’ Ginny said. ‘I did wonder about you and Audrey for a while back in the seventies.’

‘Oh, Ginny, honestly,’ Cora said, sounding cross but looking amused, and I got a glimpse of what their relationship had been like over the years.

‘Sit down and listen.’

Ginny sat obediently. I perched on the arm of Cora’s chair, still holding her hand.

‘What do you remember me telling you about your father?’ Cora began.

Ginny’s eyes widened and she exchanged a glance with Natasha.

‘Not much,’ she said. ‘That he was a GI who you met when you were dancing for the troops. That you loved him very much but he died at the end of the war. That his name was Jackson Devonshire.’

She paused.

‘What part of that wasn’t true?’ she said. ‘I’m guessing most of it, right?’

It was Cora’s turn to look surprised.

‘What do you mean?’ she said.

Ginny raised her chin just as Cora did when she was annoyed.

‘Oh, I’m not stupid, Mum,’ she said. ‘I’ve googled him and not found any mention of Jackson Devonshire. So how much of it is made up? What was he? A one-night stand? A quick fumble round the back of the parade hall?’

Cora’s mouth dropped open and her eyes filled with tears. I wondered if I should intervene but Ginny saw her mother’s reaction and changed tack.

‘Oh, Mum,’ she said, putting her hand to her mouth. ‘Were you raped?’

Cora tried to smile.

‘No, darling,’ she said. ‘I wasn’t raped. I did love your father very much, that bit is true. His name was Donald Jackson, but everyone called him Donnie. And he – I’ve just found out – loved me, too. We were supposed to be getting married, in 1945 when I was expecting you. But he didn’t show up at the wedding and I thought he’d jilted me.’

‘Shit,’ said Ginny. ‘Really?’

Cora nodded.

‘I was heartbroken and so I lied. I invented Jackson Devonshire so you’d have a dad. So I could be a proud war widow rather than just another woman who’d got herself knocked up by a love-rat GI.’

Natasha was staring at Cora, open-mouthed. Ginny looked bemused.

‘I’ve always wondered what happened to Donnie and so Amy tracked him down.’

Natasha and Ginny both shifted their gaze to me and I wriggled uncomfortably.

‘My friend Patrick did it,’ I said. ‘He’s interested in history and he’s found old army friends of his granddad so he knew where to look.’

Ginny stood up.

‘Is he still alive?’ she said in a shaky voice. ‘Is my father still alive?’

‘Oh, darling, no, I’m so sorry,’ Cora said. ‘He’s not.’

I jumped in.

‘He died in 1945,’ I said. ‘The day before he was supposed to marry Cora. That’s why he didn’t turn up – he’d been killed when a bomb fell.’

‘And no one told you?’ Ginny said, turning to her mother. ‘Oh, Mum, that’s awful.’

Cora grimaced.

‘I didn’t find out until the other day,’ she said.

‘We’ve found his family,’ I said. In for a penny, in for a pound, I thought. We may as well tell the whole lot now. ‘They all live in America – Connecticut. His sister, Lois, passed away a while ago, but his younger brother, Walter, is still alive. And Walter’s son, Charlie. And Charlie’s kids, too.’

I looked at Cora.

‘They want to come over to England,’ I told her. ‘They want to meet you and Ginny, and they’d like to hold a memorial service where the bomb fell. Do something to remember Donnie.’

‘I’d like that,’ Cora said.

‘Oh, my God,’ Ginny said. ‘This is astonishing. I’ve got an uncle? And cousins?’

Cora smiled at her.

‘It’s taken me days to really let it sink in,’ she admitted. ‘I’ve spent seventy years thinking Donnie betrayed me. That he’d run off from the army and probably married someone else and never given me – or you – a second thought.’

Ginny sat on the other arm of Cora’s chair and hugged her mum tightly.

‘I never minded not having a dad,’ she said. ‘Well, sometimes I minded. But there were lots of kids like me, weren’t there? Who’d lost a dad in the war. And we always had people round us. Audrey, and Nanna Reenie …’

She trailed off.

‘Mum,’ she said. ‘Did they know about my dad?’

Cora looked down at her knees.

‘They did,’ she said. ‘But my mum, your Granny Cassidy, she didn’t.’

Ginny looked shocked.

‘So many lies,’ she said. ‘Your chakras must be all over the place.’

‘Are you angry?’ Cora said, her voice quavering. ‘Are you angry with me for lying?’

Ginny looked thoughtful, as though she was trying to work it out.

‘I don’t think so,’ she said. ‘But I might be later.’

Natasha gave an exasperated sigh. She was obviously used to her mum’s quirky ways.

‘Granny did what she had to do,’ she said. ‘Didn’t you, Granny?’

Cora nodded.

‘But I shouldn’t have lied,’ she said. ‘Not to you, Ginny.’

Ginny shrugged.

‘Everyone lies,’ she said. ‘But the truth always comes out in the end.’

I was amazed at how well Ginny was taking the news and Cora looked terribly relieved. I suspected Ginny was unpredictable and she could just have easily reacted badly. But the fact was, she seemed fine right now.

‘We’ve got photos,’ I said. ‘Do you want to see them?’

Chapter Fifty-Two

Ginny may have been good-natured about Cora’s lies, but there was no denying she pored over the photos of Donnie that Charlie had sent, desperate for every bit of information about her father.

‘I look like him, don’t you think?’ she said, leafing through one of Cora’s photo albums for a snap of her at a similar age. ‘It’s funny that we’ll never know how he would have aged. I wonder if his hair would have faded like mine has?’

‘His hair was blonder than yours,’ Cora said, wrapping a strand of Ginny’s reddish locks round her finger. ‘I’m not sure where you got your carrot-top from.’

They carried on looking at the photos and pointing out resemblances between relations. I felt a bit awkward sitting on the edge of the family, so I got up to go.

‘I’m going to leave you to it,’ I said.

Natasha stopped me.

‘Please stay,’ she said. ‘This is all down to you. Shall we get some drinks?’