A Story of Now (21 page)

So, every time he asks, she just takes a deep breath and tells him all over again.

* * *

On the fifth day, they take him to another ward.

Now he’s awake, mostly coherent, and breathing on his own, the doctors say he can move to a high-dependency ward. Her mother and father return to work, too, and Claire is left with him during the day. She sits in a corner under the windowsill and studies for exams as he slides in and out of sleep.

They give him his own little remote to administer pain relief.

“I feel like a cyborg, using a remote control to operate myself,” he jokes weakly.

“How bad does it hurt?” Claire asks.

“A lot.”

Claire pulls her legs up onto the chair and frowns. She’s not sure she could cope. She has never hurt herself badly, just a couple of sprains and a broken toe when she was eleven.

“Remember when you broke your toe when we were kids?”

“I was just thinking about that.”

“I bet this hurts a lot more.”

Claire shoots him a look. “Yeah, you know, Cam, I think this is one time where we don’t need to be competitive, okay?”

He chuckles and then groans. “You still have to say I won, though.”

Before Claire can say anything, a nurse comes in. She goes over to the bed and checks on the different tubes and bandages. She barely responds to the smile of greeting on Cam’s face and leaves without saying a word.

“Geez,” he mutters. “What did Mum do? I’ve been in this ward one day, and I think they all hate me.”

Claire flicks her pen between her fingers. “She was…Mum. She treated them like they were guilty of a crime they hadn’t even committed.”

He lets out a choppy sigh. “I’ve got my work cut out for me charming these ones, then. Or no treats for me.”

“With your social skills that was always going to be an uphill battle anyway.” She waits for his comeback, but he doesn’t have one. He’s sliding suddenly, involuntarily back into sleep again, the way he does. Claire opens her book and smiles. She never thought she’d be so happy to bicker with her brother.

* * *

On the sixth day, she sits in the hallway and tries to figure out what day it is.

She’s just decided it’s a Tuesday when her parents arrive, fresh from a conference with the doctors. They sit on either side of her. She stiffens, immediately wary of this collective approach. This is never good.

“Sweetheart,” Christine says as her father takes hold of Claire’s forearm. “We have to leave town tomorrow.”

“Leave? Where are you going?” Claire frowns. She wasn’t expecting that.

“Canberra,” her father says.

“What? Why?”

“Remember that conference we told you about?”

Claire nods dully.
Here we go
, she thinks.

“It starts tomorrow, and your mother and I are running half of the sessions between us. We left it until the last minute to decide, but we think we need to go.”

Claire lets out a sigh, not sure what she’s supposed to say to this. They seem to have already made up their minds.

“If we don’t go, they’ll have to cancel our sessions,” Christine adds.

“Yeah, and God forbid the lawyers of Canberra don’t get the benefit of your wisdom.” Claire sighs and shakes off her father’s hand and crosses her arms over her chest.

Christine narrows her eyes as though she’s about to tell Claire off. Instead, she lets out a little sigh, rearranges her face, and leans in closer. “We thought about cancelling. But, sweetie, the doctor says Cam will be fine. It’s just a process of recovery now. And if we’re needed quickly, we’re only a couple of hours away.”

“Which, the doctors assure us, we won’t be,” her father adds.

“Besides,” Christine puts a hand on Claire’s arm, “you’re quite old enough to look after things here without us.”

Am I?
Claire wonders. This is new information to her.

“And we’ll call you morning and night,” Christine continues. “Lucy will be here too. We’ve asked the doctors to check in with us daily, so you don’t have to worry about anything but being with your brother.”

Claire rests her head against the wall, eyes closed. There’s no point saying anything, obviously. This has clearly been decided, and their departure is now to be treated as fact. “When do you leave?”

“In the morning, first thing. We’ll come by here first and then go.”

A week.
That’s all they could spare for Cam before going on with their lives?
“What if something happens?”

“
Nothing
will happen,” Christine tells her firmly, her hand still on Claire’s arm. “And if by any small chance it does, I’m sure you can handle it until we get here. You’re an adult now,” she tells her as if she’s bestowing a treat on Claire, like an imminent trip to the zoo or a new car.

Claire sits up taller and inhales deeply. “Yeah, whatever. Go.” She yanks her arm out of her mother’s possession and stands. She wants them to shut up and go now if that’s what they’re going to do.

CHAPTER 28

On the eighth day, Claire walks wearily along the bright, fluorescent-lit hospital corridor toward the waiting room. That’s when she sees them.

At first, she thinks she’s dreaming, or having some sort of sleep-deprived hallucination. But no, the three of them, Robbie, Nina, and Mia, are walking slowly toward her. They look like the promise of summer in jeans and T-shirts, sunglasses perched on their heads. It must be another of those perfect late spring days, when a person can feel the tang of summer and the potential of what’s to come. A day when it’s finally possible to bare legs and shoulders.

For the first time in days, Claire feels a desire to be away from the clinical stink and climate-control air of the hospital. She wants to experience the unpredictability of real air against her skin and to absorb whatever warmth the sun provides. The glimpses of sun she catches in the cloying, smoky emergency entrance hardly count.

They spot her straight away and pick up the pace in a bashful, approaching collective of sympathetic smiles. Robbie breaks ranks first and strides quickly until he’s right in front of her. He enfolds her in one of his relentless, no-choice hugs, and his grip is even fiercer than usual.

“What are you guys doing here?” she asks.

He steps back and squeezes her shoulders. “We came to see how you are, dummy.”

“And to bring you a coffee.” Mia holds up a take-away cup. “Here.” She passes it to Claire and smiles.

“And to see if you’re okay,” Nina adds.

“I’m okay. Tired.”

“You look it,” Nina tells her as they step out of the way of some hurrying nurses. “No offence.”

Claire smiles in weary agreement and sits on a bank of seats that line the narrow corridor.

Robbie drops down next to her. “How’s your brother?”

“He’s okay. He’s getting his chest tube removed, whatever that means.”

Robbie automatically turns to Mia.

“He must have had a lung collapse,” she says.

Claire points at Mia. “What she said.”

“Gross.” Nina grimaces before turning to Claire, contrite. “Sorry.”

Claire smiles. “Don’t be sorry. It
is
gross. It’s all been gross.”

“I should probably confess I know more about this from movies than school.” Mia frowns. “We haven’t got to that stuff yet. Is he doing okay?”

“Yeah, I guess. He’s out of intensive care. So that’s good.”

“Do you need anything?” Nina asks again as she folds her arms over her chest, looking awkward. “Clothes or stuff from school?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine.” Robbie brushes his finger against her cheek. “I didn’t think it was possible for you to get more pale, but you’ve out-ghosted yourself.”

Claire pushes his hand away. “Thanks, Robbie. No, seriously,” she grumbles but is secretly grateful for the way he never changes. “Thanks a lot.”

He smiles at her as if he knows it’s easier for her if he just treats her like normal.

“Maybe we should go outside?” Mia suggests. She looks down the long white hallway to the sliding doors. “While they’re with your brother? It’s beautiful out there. It might make you feel better.”

Robbie nods. “Good idea. It’s pretty awful in here.”

Before she can say anything, they stand.

Anchored by fear, Claire almost wants to say no, that she wants to stay here just in case. But the other part of her doesn’t have the energy to protest, so she stands too.

They traipse back down the long hallway. Claire stops at the nurses’ station and rests her palms on the cool counter.

Lorraine, one of the nurses, comes over. “They’re still with Cam, sweetheart,” she tells her. “Might be a while longer.”

“I’m just going outside for a bit.”

“Good.” Lorraine nods as she picks up a pile of papers. She looks over at the others. “Put her in the sunshine, kids. I don’t think she’s seen much daylight for a while.” She turns to Claire. “I’ve got your number. I’ll call you if you’re needed. Go outside and breath some air, child.”

Claire smiles and turns away. She secretly loves Lorraine, with her epic hair that looks as if it hasn’t changed since the eighties, and her wiry, comforting competence. Cam has managed to chip away at the reserve of this recent round of nurses, for whom their mother is, thankfully, already becoming a distant memory.

They trudge through the sliding doors and head for the park across from the hospital. When they find a patch of grass, Claire sinks wearily onto it, blinking into the brightness. Nina immediately takes off her sunglasses and places them on Claire’s face. Claire smiles her gratitude and lies back on the grass, absorbing the nourishing warmth of the sun.

They sit there in sun-stunned silence for a few minutes.

“Did you know they brush your teeth for you when you’re unconscious?” Claire tells them, breaking the quiet.

“Ew,” Nina says. “That’s weird. What, they just pry open your mouth and brush them?”

Claire shrugs and looks at Nina. “Pretty much. Saw it with my own eyes.”

“Yuck,” Nina says.

“No, I did not know that, Claire.” Robbie flops onto the grass next to her. “Thank you for that invaluable piece of information.”

Claire gives him a lazy smile. “Happy to drop some knowledge on you. Anything else you want to know about sedation-hygiene routines?”

“Definitely not.” Robbie laughs. “Do they teach you this stuff, Mia?”

“Not really,” she says from somewhere behind Claire. “We’re, uh, into things at a more cellular level.”

Nina sighs. “I don’t even know what that means.”

And Claire idly listens to the other three banter, glad they don’t try to make her talk about the accident or ask relentless questions about Cam’s condition like everyone else who visits and doesn’t know what to say.

But after a while, she forces herself to sit up, mostly because she’s afraid she’s going to fall asleep. She hugs her knees to her chest and tries to focus on what everyone is talking about, but it’s difficult to concentrate. She’s grateful they are here, though, a distraction from the awful monotony of another repetitive day.

Her phone starts to ring, and their talk trickles off as she checks it. It’s her mother. She puts it down on the grass next to her. When she looks up again, they’re all looking at her.

“It’s just Mum.” She plays with the laces of her boots. “Probably just to see if they are done. She checks in every five minutes. I’ll call her when I get back.”

“She’s not there?” Nina asks.

“No, Mum and Dad are in Canberra.”

Nina frowns. “What? What are they doing in Canberra?”

“Both of them?” Robbie asks.

“Yeah, they were scheduled to lead this big conference at a university. It started yesterday. So they decided to go when Cam got out of ICU.”

“Is anyone else around?” Mia asks.

“My aunt Lucy comes to see him every night. And his friends visit lots. And I stay with him in the day. Now that he’s out of ICU, they’re stricter about visiting hours, though, but I can hang out with him in the mornings and the afternoons.” She pulls a small clump of grass from the ground and ties the narrow blades into a knot. “I guess they don’t let us be with him all the time because they know he’s not going to die now. Which is, you know, good.” She tosses the grass away.

“What do you do the rest of the time?” Robbie asks.

“I go to the café or sit in the waiting room and study. No point going home just to come back.” She watches kids run into the playground while their mother, laden with shopping, yells at them to slow down.

Mia frowns. “And so you’re staying at home by yourself?”

“Yeah, but it’s fine.” She doesn’t tell them that she can’t sleep at night by herself. That for the first time in a long time, she actually wishes her parents were there.

Nina checks her phone and sighs. “Crap, I have to go.” She gets up and dusts the back of her jeans. “Sorry, Claire.”

“Don’t be sorry.” Claire squints up at her and frowns. “Why be sorry?”

But Nina looks as if she doesn’t know what to say to that, and Claire immediately feels bad. “Thanks for coming, Neens.”

Nina smiles back, grateful. “Andrew’s holding your shifts at work, too, okay?”

“Lucky me.” Claire rolls her eyes. “Tell him thank you, I think.”

Nina grins.

“I’d better go too.” Robbie climbs to his feet and holds his hand out to Claire. “Will you be okay, babe?”

“Of course.” She takes his hand and stands. “I’ll be fine. Thanks, guys, for coming,” she says again, because she doesn’t know what else to say. They turn back toward the hospital.

“Don’t thank us.” Robbie throws an arm around her shoulder as they trudge back across the parking lot. “Of course we came.”

And Claire feels a rush of warmth, a solace that seems to come as much from his words as his affection. Of course they came. These people are her friends. These people have become
her
people. She feels an embarrassing prick of tears at the back of her eyelids.

They walk her to the doors of the hospital, and she goes inside quickly before they can leave her. She doesn’t want to watch them go, free to walk into that intoxicating sunshine and to the simpler worries of study, break, and work. She, on the other hand, is relegated to her lonesome station in the hallway, waiting for her brother’s battered body to heal.