A Student's Dream (Twisted Cogs Book 1) (10 page)

“
An artist who does not know his or her own worth is an artist who is not willing to fight for themselves when it comes down to the bone. One can’t be truly cutthroat if one isn’t sure, without the slightest fraction of a doubt, that one deserves to be at the top.”

Surely an artist can be both nice and famous,
Elena frowned to herself, but took a bite instead of arguing. Master De Luca had far more experience than her, so perhaps she would understand his advice when she was further along. The hot drink was strong and a little bitter, but the cooks had put dollops of the whipped cream into it, and it softened and sweetened the taste pleasantly.

“
What would become of a garzona who wasn’t cutthroat, Master De Luca?” Leanarda asked, stirring her fork around the eggs and shooting Elena a meaningful glance, “what if they were timid and shy and easy to pick on?”

“
Hmm,” if Master De Luca noticed that Leanarda was singling Elena out, he gave no indication, thoughtfully chewing a bite of bread before he answered, “I’ve seen many artists of that nature come and go, rise and fall. They tend to follow the same pattern; they meander on their way, slowly gaining in fame and fortune, until they run into someone willing to be aggressive or merciless. At that point, they fall to that someone, and the merciless artist is the one who is remembered. I wouldn’t worry too much about it Leanarda; you hardly strike me as having a problem in the area of being shy or timid.”

“
What about the rest of you?” he turned his attention nearer to the middle of the table, “it seems I’ve got a quiet batch of supplicants this year; I’ve not heard a word from some of you. Lorenzo, you’re a new face here, would you say you’re one of the tame artists or one of the cutthroat?”

“
I don’t think I would ever cut someone’s throat,” the pretty garzoni tossed his long hair over one shoulder, “I think that’s against Milian laws.” A short silence marked this profound statement as the entire table stared at him. Elena tried to figure out if she had missed some intricate wordplay or cleverness in his answer. It seemed that Master De Luca was doing the same thing, because he didn’t move on to anyone else, merely fixed the boy with a thoughtful air as he ate his breakfast.

The room was quiet enough that Elena could hear the soft murmurs from the other table where the Echoes sat. None of them had food, but it appeared that they were having a much more friendly and interesting discussion. Some of them were smiling, Bea was gesturing animatedly with her hands. Even Ele seemed engaged in the conversation.

Elena’s observation was broken by a sound from the doorway; a cough so measured and precise that it could only be artificial. Pietro looked subdued, his face even more childlike now that it held the expression of a small child about to be punished.

“
Master De Luca, I’m sorry to interrupt your breakfast,” he didn’t seem reassured when Master De Luca waved him on, “sir, there is someone at the door demanding to speak with your garzona.”

“
Pietro, I would have thought you were capable of taking a message, or scheduling a meeting, or perhaps even approaching the garzona in question some time when we are not occupied with a meal,” Master De Luca’s voice was even, but the marble boy flinched, “perhaps I was wrong?”

“
It’s Miss Elena’s mother, sir. She says she won’t leave until she’s seen her daughter.”

“How
dare
you?” Every line of Joanna Lucciano’s face was controlled, her face a mask. Even her tone was measured, almost calm. Elena had never been so frightened of her.

Calm always came before a storm with her mother’s moods, and the calmer the calm, the more devastating the following turmoil would be. Elena was already trying to think of what she could say to mitigate the damage, but she had never been good at it. Usually the safest route was to take her punishment quietly, to let her mother vent and rant until she had gotten it all out of her system. Of course, the safest route was not always without danger.

“
Mama, I thought you would be happy that I-” she began carefully, but her faltering explanation was cut off before it had even left her lips.

“
Happy? Happy to be fooled into thinking Master De Luca didn’t want you? Happy to wake up and find my only daughter missing? Did it even occur to you how worried I would be? Did I even cross your mind at all?”

“
I meant to come tell you, Mama, really I did, I just hadn’t had a chance yet!”

“
Oh, well I’m quite glad that your mother’s peace of mind ranked at least
somewhere
in the long list of priorities you must have,” it wasn’t even the worst sarcasm she had been dealt, but Elena winced all the same. “I’m glad to hear that eventually you planned to stop your sick little joke.”

“
I didn’t-”

“
I thought the Lucciano name meant more to you than this, Elena.” The anger that had been building seemed to fall from Joanna’s shoulders quite suddenly, replaced by a look of disappointment. Elena could only hold her gaze for a few moments before turning away, staring at her feet. The disappointment was somehow even worse than the anger. It meant she had worn the poor woman down so much that her own mother didn’t even have the energy to feel the hurt Elena had inflicted. “I thought I had taught you better than to let someone sit and worry about you all night. I’d been blaming you, but really I should be angry with myself, for not helping you become the woman I know you could be.”

“
No, Mama, don’t say that.” Elena’s heart felt as if it would break. Had she really forgotten her responsibilities to family so soon? Letting her mother know the good news should’ve been her first priority, but everything had seemed so rushed and fast paced...

And now, for her mother to find her casually eating breakfast? It didn’t matter what had actually happened, her mother would have the entirely wrong impression, and it was all her fault.

“
I assumed you would forget about me as soon as we brought you to the big city,” there were tears in Joanna’s eyes, and Elena’s stomach twisted with guilt, “I just...didn’t think it would be so soon.”

“
No, Mama that’s not how it happened!” Elena too was crying, though she wasn’t sure where in the conversation that had started, “I didn’t forget you, I...all of this is because of you, I wouldn’t even be here if not for you! Mama please don’t think that-”

“
She’s manipulating you, Elena, making you believe her twisted version of events,” Ele had been standing next to the closed door to the dining room since their discussion had begun, mostly quiet, but he interrupted now at the most inopportune time.

“
Ele please stop, that’s not helping,” Elena pleaded, “Mama I-” She stopped, frozen. After the whirlwind morning and the still-fuzzy night before, she had forgotten that her mother couldn’t see or hear Ele at all. She opened her mouth to give an explanation or excuse, but before she could speak Joanna had grabbed her shoulder in a grip like a vise, slamming her into the wall so hard it made her teeth rattle.

“
You ungrateful, horrid little wretch,” her mother hissed, her face inches away, “I
knew
this was nothing but a joke to you, just your nasty idea of a prank. You
wanted
me to worry about you, this was all some sick little mind game you devised to get back at me for some slight you’ve imagined isn’t it? You’ve been laughing at me this whole time haven’t you?” Her words were accompanied by another shake.

“
I’m sorry, Mama, I didn’t-”

“
You knew you could have me worried sick about you, and you didn’t care one bit, you just sat here with your new friends laughing about how gullible your poor trusting mother is.” Elena wasn’t even sure what that meant, but her shoulder was starting to hurt where Joanna’s nails bit into it, her back aching where she had slammed it into the wall. “You did! I can see it from your guilty face that’s
exactly
what you were doing! Did you enjoy your little laugh at your own mother’s expense? Answer me!”

Elena wasn’t sure how to respond, or even whether she should. She had seen her mother angry before, quite frequently, but never to this extent. Even when her mother had broken Elena’s wrist (it had been an accident, of course, Joanna had misjudged her own strength and pulled her forward just a tad too hard), she hadn’t been this incensed. What could Elena say to calm her down? She opened her mouth, but couldn’t seem to come up with the right words.

She really thinks I did all of this just to hurt her,
the realization settled into her stomach and into her heart with an icy weight of horror,
what kind of horrible daughter have I been that my own mama would think something like that?

Elena was brought to her senses by a sharp slap across her face, drawn back into the present out of the horror she was feeling. The entire left side of her face stung, but if anyone deserved it she did.

“
I said answer me!” Joanna drew her hand back again, and Elena flinched and braced herself but didn’t otherwise move to avoid the hand. The second stinging slap didn’t fall, and after a moment Elena made herself open her eyes.

Joanna’s wrist was caught, small marble fingers wrapped firmly around it. If he hadn’t been so small, Pietro might not have been able to fit between them, but he stood there now like a marble shield, arm outstretched over his head. The image of the child arresting the grown woman’s swing so completely was almost ludicrous, but Elena was too discombobulated to appreciate the humor. To their right, closing the dining room door carefully behind him, Master De Luca took in the entire scene with vague interest.

“Madam
Lucciano,” he said by way of greeting, as if they had just settled into his office and were discussing business, “I’m afraid I make it a point to never allow my garzoni to be disrespected, even in the context of a private discussion. Allowing a student of the studio to be mistreated reflects poorly on the studio, you see.”

“
Master De Luca,” Joanna drew herself up as much as she was able with her arm still caught in Pietro’s grip, her voice calm once more. If nothing else, Elena was grateful for Master De Luca’s presence for that reason alone. Perhaps her mother would be more willing to hear an apology now that she was a little calmer. “Elena is my daughter before she is your student. If you would be so kind, we have private family matters to discuss. Whether she is going to remain your garzona is still very much in question.”

Elena’s stomach did a flip at the words.

No...no she can’t take me from here, she wouldn’t do that...she wouldn’t....

“
You are mistaken on several points, Madam Lucciano, points which I’m happy to enumerate once you’ve stepped away from Elena. Pietro?” The marble page took a careful and measured step away, and Joanna had no choice but to follow, leaving them evenly spaced between Elena and De Luca, who was counting off on thin wrinkled finger.

“
On the first; Elena is no longer your daughter above all things. For as long as she remains in this studio she is a De Luca garzona, nothing more and certainly nothing less, with all the respect that is owed her. Unlike the respect you expect for the Lucciano name, this is respect which she is actually owed, and it is respect she will actually be given.”

Elena winced again.
Don’t antagonize her like that when she’s already thinking of taking me away.

“
I don’t think-” Joanna began.

“
Secondly,” De Luca cut over the woman’s interruption so forcefully that both Luccianos jumped, “do not imagine you are the first mother who, in her...let’s graciously call it ‘anxiety’...has demanded the return of one of my students to them. If Elena does leave with you today, you
will
be the first mother who succeeds.”

“
You think you can keep a daughter away from her mother? You think you have the legal ability to do so?”

“
Yes,” De Luca said after a moment’s consideration. “Given my personal friendship with the Lord of this city, given that I have had pieces commissioned by the King of Italoza himself, I very much do think that. Elena,” his tone unchanged, De Luca turned to her, “morning meal is over, and Bea is assigning each provisional garzoni to the full garzoni they will be assisting. Make your way to the studio, if you please.”

“
Elena, you will do
no such thing,
”
Joanna hissed, “you will stay
right here
and discuss this situation with us.”

Elena struggled through the problem in her head. If she disobeyed her mother, Joanna would be even more angry, and Elena’s punishment, when it came, would be even more severe. She didn’t harbor any illusions that her mother would forget; once Elena had gone on a trip with her aunt for an entire month, only to come back to a punishment for sassing her mother the day before they’d left.

On the other hand, everything her mother had drilled into her about the worth and pride of the Lucciano name might be at stake here. Joanna might be angry at her, but after the anger and punishment had passed, Elena’s relationship with her mother would be better, and everything would be alright again. If Elena disobeyed Master De Luca, he would dismiss her then and there. The loss of De Luca’s support wouldn’t destroy her plans for fame, but as Ele had reminded her, it would certainly put a damper on them.

Elena made her choice, but couldn’t look at her mother as she hurried past them both.

“
I’m sorry,” she whispered as she passed Joanna. In the long run, she knew her mother would want the security of a rich and famous daughter over a short-term obedience, but her defiance twisted in her gut all the same. She could still hear the murmurs of the adults behind her as she left.

“
Wow, that was the most awesome-” Ele began.

“
Don’t Ele. Please...please just don’t.” Elena fought the tears that were blurring her vision, and Ele thankfully stayed silent for the rest of the short walk to the workroom.

***

“
-Mella will be taking care of Niccolo, and that leaves Elena to care for Frederica,” Bea was saying as Elena entered the wide open workroom. The soft light and the smell of the trees just outside the window made her feel marginally better, although she belatedly realized that Frederica was the floppy-haired girl who seemed to have a problem with her.

Bea turned to Elena. “You haven’t missed much, I’m sure one of your fellow garzoni will fill you in on the duties we’ve discussed.”

“
Yes ma’am,” Elena ducked her head in awkward acknowledgment, grateful that the Echo didn’t mention the scene her mother was making.

“
Good. Now, I’ll leave you all to get acquainted for the rest of the day. I strongly suggest buying supplies you might need, as the day after supplication is the busiest for Milian merchants. I have business to attend to now, but if anyone needs me specifically, I’ll be in the library. If anyone needs Master De Luca...I’ll be in the library.”

After Bea left, the workshop descended into an awkward silence for a few moments, full and provisional garzoni watching each other warily. The silence was broken when the burly Saggitari, Niccolo, rose to his feet suddenly.

“
Come on, Mella, I’ll shop with you the first time to show you the sorts of things I’ll need. We can talk on the way,” he said, and as if the spell was broken the other students began mingling, quietly talking in the pairs they had been assigned. Elena turned towards the workstation on the right at the far end, where Frederica was waiting for her.

“
Here you go, wino, catch,” Frederica tossed a wooden object in her direction, which Elena caught gingerly. “These are the tools I work with, so you’ll become very familiar with them over the next eight weeks.” Elena’s eyes widened. She had caught the tool by the handle, and she hadn’t realized at first how lucky she had been.

“
Are you crazy?” she asked, holding it up. The wooden handle was smooth and sturdy wood, but extending up from one side was a curved blade of dark metal, about the length of her thumb. The inner edge of the blade looked wickedly sharp, and it caught the light with a mischievous twinkle. “What are you thinking throwing this at me? I could’ve lost a finger!”

“
You didn’t, you’re fine,” Frederica said dismissively, “would’ve been a poor catch if you’d missed from this distance.”

“
Besides, what is it you actually do?” Frederica’s Echo asked, gesturing towards her portion of the long marble table. Every other section had materials to work with except hers, probably because Bea had no idea what a Fabera would need to work with. “It doesn’t look like Master De Luca bothered giving you supplies, how much worse can ‘doing nothing’ be with nine fingers instead of ten?”