A Survivor's Guide to Eternity (31 page)
Chapter 19
Arctic Bear Haggis
“Wake up, Ed, you’ve been sleeping for over a day, come on, wake up.”
Pritvijaj rocked Ed’s shoulder gently, bringing him into the present, albeit in a drowsy and bleary eyed state.
“Oh, really? A whole day? That’s mad. I guess I really needed a rest eh,” replied Ed as he span round and sat on the edge of the bed.
“Look, come on through when you’re ready. Jahani is waiting for you in his room.”
“I’ll be through in a minute when I’ve pulled myself together,” replied Ed, watching Pritvijaj depart around the edge of the silk curtain.
He sat still for a moment, wondering what decisive insight the Viking could be serving up. He was still not sure what this quest for
Well at least I’m better off than I was at the beginning. I’m a lot better
approach this positively
, thought Ed, as he got up, slid past the curtain and ambled the short distance to Jahani’s.
“Oh, Ed, good to see you, come in, come in and sit down,” said the Viking, gesticulating for Ed to sit near him.
“Take a look at this,” he said, handing Ed his Viking helmet.
“That’s not too practical is it?” stated Ed, as he came and sat opposite the old man.
“Not very comfortable either - try it on,” replied Jahani.
“Okay then,” said Ed, as he popped the large helmet onto his small head only to see it fall off and straight to the floor.
“I guess I haven’t got the right head to become a Viking. Were they all big built like you?”
“No, not really. It was a mix like everywhere else. I was born in
Sicily
, not
Scandinavia
like most people think.”
“Sicily? Were the Vikings in
Sicily
?” enquired Ed.
“Yes, not many of us though, maybe a few thousand at most.”
“I never knew that, although Viking history was never my strong point,” replied Ed.
“It was a good place to be brought up. It was very liberal in comparison to the rest of the bigoted medieval world. It was tolerant and respectful towards all the diverse religions and cultures. My mother was a native Sicilian woman. She was called Agata, which means good and she really was that,” replied Jahani.
“Respectful of religions; you know that Vikings kind of got a bit of bad press, raiding, raping, pillaging and all that? It wasn’t like that then?” enquired Ed nervously.
“Not in my circles. We were just migrating from the frozen ice lands where we came from, looking for warmer climates. Often we would mix with the local populations and try to live side by side.
Sicily
was the prime example of that. Many aspects of daily life got intertwined: religions, food, marriage, you name it.”
“Really? Intertwined religions? I thought the Vikings were pagans?”
“We just had a multitude of gods that were worshipped for different purposes and at different times. That’s why the integration of Christianity was so easy for us, it was just another one to put on the mantelpiece and add to the set. Mind you, it did start to take over a bit.”
“Tell him about the giants, Jahani,” piped in Pritvijaj.
“He probably knows that already.”
“Erm, giants? No, I don’t know about them.”
“Well, like good and evil in Christianity, we had giants that were the counter force that challenged our gods,” replied Jahani.
“How do you think Christianity started to take over? Vikings seem so strong-willed from everything I’ve read.”
“Business. All because of business and money. Christians were not allowed to trade with us for religious reasons. To get around that, they instigated a scheme whereby Scandinavian traders could partially convert to Christianity to make deals possible. It was called ‘primsigning’, and although falling short of baptism itself, served the purpose. It led to a lot of full conversions though,” replied the Viking
“I never knew that. Was that happening in
Sicily
?”
“Yes, everywhere in the trading Christian world as far as I know.”
“Did you spend your whole life there?”
“Apart from some overseas excursions, I was based there throughout.”
“Somehow I was expecting swashbuckling stories of sea-borne invasions and ferocious battles with swords and axes, maybe even some Walrus ice cream and Arctic Bear Haggis?” replied Ed.
“There was a bit of that - swashbuckling adventure that is, not the frosted mammal cuisine. We used to go over to
Sardinia
,
North Africa
and other random islands in the
Mediterranean
. They were scared of us and there was normally a bit of friction, but that was how things were back then. There wasn’t much severe fighting that I was involved in. Just as well, because I was really a man of peace and enjoyed the calm serenity of
Sicily
.”
“If you don’t mind me asking, how did you die?”
“Again, an anticlimax for you here as well. No tales of bravery and craziness. No death in battle or falling on the sword. Just a quiet and natural death in my sleep. I remember clearly nodding off after a night of fine wine and steak and then suddenly being in the tunnel with the bright light. That was that, nice and easy. I had a good life with no regrets.”
“Any children?”
“Yes, eleven children and three wives,” replied Jahani with a wry smile.
“Goodness, that’s definitely not an empty pistol,” replied Ed.
“That’s right. I’ve met three of my children again in here. Very strange. They all moved on to other pastures though, just like you want to.”
“Yes, indeed. Maybe we should touch base on that. What have you been thinking?” enquired Ed.
“The only bit of
UK
wasn’t it?”
“Yes. I can do better than approximate. I looked it up on the internet when I was a cat. It was
nd
2009
England
,” replied Ed.
“Ah, that’s excellent. More detail than I normally get. Give me a little while to work out some figures in my head,” requested Jahani, going into himself.
“Okay then, no probs,” replied Ed, as the two sat in silence whilst Pritvijaj left the room.
“See you later,” said Ed, as he disappeared, only to be put in his place with a big ‘schhhhhhh’ from the Viking’s road-mapped face. They sat quietly for a while, Ed reflecting back on Johnny in the tunnel.
“Right, I’m set. Let’s go up to the departure tunnels and we can talk further,” announced Jahani as he got up and headed towards the door, followed swiftly by Ed.
“Jahani, I forgot to mention. I met a first-time Transient in the tunnels on the way here earlier.”
“Well I’m glad you didn’t bring him here. I hate babysitting first-timers. Did you leave him there? What did you tell him?”
“Yes, I left him there and advised him to jump again or else head back through the tunnels and meet up with others. He had plenty of time, it was his first day,” replied Ed, as they proceeded along and up the same black stairs they’d used previously.
“Good advice. You can’t get involved emotionally with Transients until they are permanent. It’s important to remember they’re temporary. He’ll find his way for sure. Maybe I’ll see him one day. Did you tell him about me?”
“Yes, I certainly did, although he found it really hard to believe any of it. You can see his point.”
“That’s true,” replied the Viking, as they got to the top of the stairs and into the smaller long tunnel with the various portals in the floor. They walked through and past where Ed had jumped before, standing still at a point where the white granite floor turned to black, making it look like a tube of oil and milk. Jahani got Ed’s possessions and put them on the floor on the dividing line between white and black, first one of the jackets, then the two watches the anklet from the bird and finally the second jacket.
“Now then, Ed, you need to make a decision. I need to let you know that this could all go terribly wrong. I can control some things but I cannot guarantee one hundred percent success. What are you expecting out of this?”
“I don’t know yet. What are the options on the table?”
“Well, basically, right here, where we are standing, marks the middle of a varied selection of portals and departure points. Each one is angled differently, getting less steep and longer as we move away from the central point.”
“Well what does that mean?” queried Ed.
“It means that if you travel down the longer ones then you are travelling at a faster speed when you enter the flow of the tunnel. This gives the opportunity to be propelled slightly further forward in time depending on the speed you enter the tunnel. If you go down the one in the middle, between the white and black granite then that is a sheer drop and you will enter the time continuum closely linked to the exact time of departure. However, the further down the tunnel you go away from this point then the longer the descent and the greater the speed at time of entry into the flow. In this instance you will speed ahead of time slightly, departing into the future. Quite simple really,” exclaimed Jahani.
“Yes, quite simple, although if I hadn’t been through all I have been through recently I wouldn’t believe you. As it is, I do, although I can’t see what use it would be for me to jump into the future,” replied Ed.
“That’s just it. It works both ways. If you look back along the tunnel the opposite direction, you also have hundreds of portals pointing into the stream in the opposite direction, against the flow.”
“And?”
“And of course, you can speed into the flow in the opposite direction at various speeds to delay your position in time. The further you go along the tunnel then the further back in time you can go. Some people like to go back and witness their own death, to see what really happened. I have enough
“That’s some choice. First I’ll need some time to think about whether I want to witness my own death,” exclaimed Ed, pensively.
“It certainly is. In your own time, young man,” replied Jahani, leaving a moment for some quiet reflection. Ed sat down by the side of the tunnel, head in hands doing an accurate impersonation of Socrates. Jahani stood motionless and quiet, looking the other way, with Ed in his peripheral vision.
“You mentioned that something can go wrong. What could that be?” enquired Ed, looking up at the gent.
“In this case, with all your