What?
Lurking outside your door?
“I’m glad you’re here, Lizzie,” Dimitri said, attempting to help me up.
I was too fast for him. “Look, I need to apologize,” I began, trying to decide just exactly what I should list first. For compromising his sisters and their magic, for putting
all of us in mortal danger, for following him here in the first place.
For demanding his love when I had no right to have him?
Dimitri let his head drop to his chest.
“Dimitri, I—”
He raised his head, his eyes a blaze of green. “Walk with me.”
My stomach clenched. “Okay.” Now was as good of time as any to break up with the love of my life. Might as well do it when I knew beyond a doubt what an outsider I was.
We walked out into the cool night air past the tarps, where a few lone biker witches harvested snakeskins and grilled lava rocks—although I had yet to figure out how you could tell if a rock was well-done or rare. Evidently, it mattered quite a bit.
Fireflies clustered at the edges of the trees and I heard the hum of a generator back behind the house.
I opened my mouth to talk, and Dimitri butted in. “If you’re about to apologize again, don’t.”
“For your information, I was going to comment on the batch of turtle knees you’re about to walk over.”
“Oh,” he said, adjusting his stride around the pretzel jar full of black goop.
It was a lie. I was going to apologize again. What good is an obsessive personality if I couldn’t beat myself up every once in a while?
“Listen, Lizzie. We learned something at the council.”
“That you should have married Amara?”
“What?” he asked, genuinely surprised. He shook it off. “No. We learned you’re the one who has to solve this.”
Why was I not surprised? “Story of my life.”
Things always fell to the demon slayer.
“Are they telling you that because you broke ties and are dating me?”
“No, they told me because it’s the truth. You and I both know there’s something more at work than griffin magic. They don’t want to risk any more of their people and I understood. They even wanted to keep Amara back in Rhodes.”
“But you persuaded her otherwise?”
“She chose to come back. And not just for her cat. She’s loyal to a fault.” He gave me a sheepish grin, reminding me of the words I’d used to describe him. “It’s a griffin trait.”
“Yes, an annoying one.”
He seemed to think that was funny. Sometimes, I had a hard time understanding the man.
“Well you’re out of luck if you’re depending on me,” I told him. “I’m not what you’d call on top of the situation.”
“That’s just the thing, Lizzie. You know so much more than you realize.”
“If I had a nickel, or in today’s economy, a dime—”
“I talked to Zebediah Rachmort,” he said.
“Behind my back?”
“Yes.” He didn’t bother sugarcoating it. “He said you need to think more.”
“He would say that.”
“Lizzie…” He faced me, his hands on my shoulders. “I love you, but I’ll tell you right now, you stink when it comes to understanding the facts.”
“You’ve got to be kidding.” Had he seen my grades as a kid?
He stared me down. “You were going to break up with me last night.”
I opened my mouth, and shut it quickly. “Tonight too,” I admitted, dreading his reaction. “Let me at least tell you why.”
“No. I don’t want to know why. It’s merely a symptom of a bigger problem.”
Oh lordy. We didn’t need our problems to grow any more immense. “What now?”
“You’re so busy looking at me and yourself and everybody else and judging what they should be. Well guess what? Things aren’t ever going to work out how they
should
. You have to take people and events—me and you—you have to take things as they are instead of how you wish them to be.”
“You’re crazy,” I said, even as the realization crept over me.
I did like to have things a certain way, but darn it, that had always worked for me in the past. I had a plan. I had backup. I knew what I needed to do.
Dimitri leaned close. “Pay attention and be thankful for the people in your life. Take us as we are.”
Did he realize what he was asking?
There would always be things I wanted to change about myself, about our life.
For the last two months, I’d been so shocked at my new powers and my new world that I hardly had time to focus on Dimitri. I’d taken him and his love for granted in the worst possible way. If I wanted to look at the facts—and I couldn’t resist—there was no way he should put up with me.
“Hey,” he said, his lips brushing mine, sending curls
of warmth down my spine. “I love you for who you are.”
I found myself trembling.
“Can you accept that?” he whispered against my lips.
“Yes,” I said.
“Then you need to accept yourself as well.”
He made it sound so easy, but the reality of it was a different matter. When we lost the fireflies and the warmth of each other’s touch, when the world was stark and cold and I faced evil creatures I wouldn’t wish upon my worst nightmare, would I remember the lessons I’d learned in the moonlight?
“Too bad this isn’t part of Rachmort’s training. The old man taught me how to levitate.” Of course, learning how to truly believe in myself would be infinitely harder.
“It’s not part of Rachmort’s training,” Dimitri said, determination rolling off him. “It’s part of mine.”
“Oh no.”
“Oh yes. You need to learn how to lay bare your feelings, go with your instincts.”
“And you’re the man to show me how?” I asked, a shiver racing down my spine at the thought. The man didn’t look ready to teach me. He looked ready to eat me alive.
A slow grin tickled his lips. “Your lesson begins now.”
I thought he was going to kiss me. Right there, in front of the house, with a warm eve ning breeze caressing my cheek and the fireflies dancing around us. No such luck. Instead, he led me out to the woods beyond the front lawn.
A shudder rippled through me as we passed the path to the Callidora. “You know this is where I almost got a switch star to the head.”
“We’re at least a half mile east of that spot,” he said in true Dimitri fashion, choosing to focus on geography instead of fear.
I snuck a glance at the blackness behind us as we skirted the narrow ribbon of land between the forest and the edge of the gardens. “I don’t like being out here.” My demon slayer danger radar wasn’t going off, but still…“It feels like something or some
one
is watching us.”
“I’m taking you somewhere private, Lizzie,” he said, his voice sliding over me in the dark. “Trust me.”
I did. Dimitri had been my first teacher. He’d been raised with supernatural abilities. I didn’t always agree with his He-Man philosophy on changing the world. My most heroic moments tended to come when I was backed into a corner. But when we came right down to it, I wanted to believe in the world as he saw it. I wanted to
think I could change the way things worked. that someday I’d know what to do and have the courage and the ability to take on the powers that be and create something new, something better.
Dimitri took my hand as we stepped around a leaning olive tree. “Try not to set foot in the garden,” he warned.
I swatted a few dozen gnats away from my face. “I don’t understand. Why are we sneaking around? You own the place, right?” I said it only half-jokingly because frankly, I’d had enough surprises lately. It paid to be prepared.
“Look up,” he said.
Dental floss hung like shadowy tinsel from the trees.
“The Red Skulls have spotted pixies in the garden.”
Yikes. Pixies acted as scouts for the imps. We knew they were planning something big. This just confirmed it.
“The Red Skulls will know if we break their barrier,” Dimitri said. “I’d rather not have anyone else following us.
“Else?” I turned my head and saw Zebediah’s spindly little tree nymphs on our tail.
So much for being alone.
Dimitri dug in the pocket of his jeans. He pulled out several coins and jangled them in his palm. “You want this?” he asked the nymphs.
They chattered and leapt up and down like howler monkeys. Dimitri tossed the euros into the garden and the nymphs scrambled after them. “It’ll take them hours to hide them all,” he said as we began walking again.
“As long as there’s nothing more sinister following us.”
“That’s the trick these days,” Dimitri murmured.
Yes, it was. I didn’t want to run into any pixies or cursed imps or—while we were at it—the black-haired woman.
We reached the edge of a steep hill, which looked more like a mountain at that point. Vineyards lined the base of the hill. Above them, vibrant greenery tangled down the slopes and jutted from the rocks.
“You can’t possibly think…” I trailed off as Dimitri began the precipitous climb.
“I’m taking you somewhere special,” he said, navigating the hill with the grace of a mountain climber. “No one knows about this place except for members of my clan.” He turned back to me, the moonlight playing off his wide back and solid arms. “It’s the only truly private place on the island.”
“Wow,” I said, because, well, I couldn’t think of anything else. The trust he placed in me amazed me every time.
After a glance backward to make sure we weren’t being followed, I began my trek up the small mountain.
We quickly made it through the vineyard. Then the climb grew more treacherous. I focused on Dimitri’s solid form ahead, struggling to keep my footing on plants that barely covered the limestone.
Not that I was used to hiking back home in Georgia, but when I did climb a hill, I could dig my toes into the thick soil. Here it was like an alien planet, a dusting of plants over rock. Sweat began to slick down my back and I fought to keep up.
“It’s not much farther,” he said, as if he could hear me huffing behind him. “My sisters usually fly, but I don’t see the need.”
Well, then he had thighs of steel. Who was I kidding? I’d seen them. They were glorious. I, on the other hand, was in fiery pain from the waist down. The backs of my
legs burned and even my toes hurt from finding footholds in the rock.
I reached out in the dark for what I hoped was a well-entrenched bush and heaved myself farther.
We continued until we reached an overhang swathed in vines. It was invisible from a distance, even from the bottom of the hill. Below it was an eight-foot vertical drop covered in slippery vines.
“I can’t climb that,” I said, out of breath, bracing my sweaty palms on the cliff face while I struggled to maintain my balance on a ledge that was maybe,
maybe
wide enough for a mountain goat. Three lessons at the Atlanta Rocks! indoor climbing gym would only take me so far. I hadn’t even gotten off the beginner wall.
“Relax.” Dimitri lifted the curtain of vines to reveal an entrance to what appeared to be a large cave.
“Well look at that,” I said. “Griffin sized.”
He flashed a quick grin. “You doubted me?”
“Never,” I said, taking the last few steps with renewed energy. I had to see this.
Dimitri reached inside the dark opening and pulled out a torch. He lit it with the Bic from his pocket and tossed the light inside.
“Hey,” I said, surprised. We could have used that.
The torch on the floor cut through some of the shadows, revealing a flat ceiling and craggy walls.
“We don’t want to attract attention.” He wrapped a steadying arm around my waist. “Come,” he said, helping me into the semidark cavern.
The vines dropped behind us.
“This is cozy,” I said, as Dimitri moved to light the
torches along the far wall. They rested in simple bronze holders, green with age, set into the cut stone every four feet or so.
I inhaled the scent of fresh, raw earth along with the smoky tang of the wood from the torches. Past the halos of light, the darkness seemed to go on forever.
“Who did this?” I asked, my voice echoing in the cavern.
I could feel his heat as he stood next to me. The shadows from the torches fell hard on the angles of his face.
“This place has been here for as long as any of us can remember,” he said. “It was most likely built by the first of my family, the original griffins who settled on this land.”
I believed it. The history of this place had suffused itself into the walls, the floor. I felt it all around us.
“I want to show you something,” he said, leading me toward an opening in the far wall that I hadn’t even noticed until he waved his torch over it.
This chamber was smaller than the first, with ceilings so low I could almost touch them. As Dimitri moved throughout the room, lighting the wall torches, I noted the stark differences here. Thick Greek rugs in olive, slate and burgundy covered the floors. A black leather couch lounged among stacks of books. A hint of sandalwood and sweat touched the air. I could tell in an instant this was Dimitri’s retreat.
That he had taken me here spoke volumes.
Dimitri tended to give first and explain later. I didn’t always understand what he was doing, but I knew what he’d offered me tonight.
The question was—could I accept it?
Could I accept
us
?
It was a completely different battle for me. Sure, I’d braved possessed werewolves and soul-stealing succubi—and come out on top.
It took a completely new kind of courage to face him, myself, what I truly wanted out of life.
I wasn’t sure if I was ready. I could have grown old waiting to gather the courage.
Didn’t the man understand we had problems? He loved me despite my flaws. That was good, because I had a feeling he’d be seeing plenty tonight.
More than anything, I wanted to learn how to accept Dimitri and my life and the danger we faced. I was tired of worrying, of holding back. It was like I’d hidden a part of my soul from everyone, including myself. It took too much energy and cost me twenty tons of heartache.
The depths of my power—unleashed for the first time—could be incredible.
Dimitri touched my arm. “Lizzie?”
I blinked back to reality and the handsome griffin standing in front of me.
“You left me for a minute,” he said.
“Yes,” I said, breaking his gaze. It was too intimate. Instead, my eyes traveled to the far side of the room. Next to a scarred and blackened wall lay several dozen switch stars.
“What are you doing with those?” I gasped. “They could kill you.”
“Not if they’re not branded to a demon slayer.” He walked over to them. “In this form, they can merely take years off my life.”
That’s right. He’d thrown switch stars back when
he trained me. “What do you mean they took years off your life?”
He stood tall, the torch light flickering off his chiseled features. “Switch stars get their power from energy. As a demon slayer, you are able to offer them an unlimited power source, separate from your life force. It’s not the same for griffins.”
The truth of it hit me hard. “You sacrificed years in order to train me?”
“Yes.”
I tried to find anger behind his words, resentment even. But there was none. “Why?”
His eyes never left mine. “It was the only way.”
The answer seemed too simple. He’d done it so I could prepare myself to rescue his sisters. It was all well and good, but I came from a world that taught me to take care of myself, a society where Good Samaritans were sued as often as they were thanked and loyalty was a quaint and proper notion that came up when people talked about the Greatest Generation.
“Are you ready?” he asked, moving toward the switch stars.
“Don’t touch those!” I said, rushing for him, ready to toss myself between him and the life-stealing weapons.
“I won’t,” he said, stopping in front of them. “I don’t believe in sacrifice without cause.” His fingers brushed my cheek and my insides went gooey. “But I will ask you to step outside what you think you can do.”
I nodded. I was ready.
He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “You’ve prepared. You’ve built a structure. Now it is time to let go. Trust that you’re in the place you need to be.”
“But that’s the thing,” I said, reaching for one of his stars instead of the five at my belt. It seared itself to me with a hot certainty that touched me to the bone. “I can’t plan this one out.” And there lay the crux of the problem. How did I know I was on track if I didn’t know where I was going?
Dimitri towered over me. “You rely on instinct. But you need to stop seeing the world as you think it should be and start recognizing your allies and your enemies for what they are.”
“I see my allies,” I said, irritated.
“You think so?” he challenged. “You see the biker witches. They’re easy. They’re ready to charge the demons of hell with jelly-jar magic and an army of motorcycles. They’d do anything for you. There’s no risk.” He stopped me before I could push back. “And don’t say Pirate. He’s another easy one. That damned dog tried to follow you into the second layer of hell.”
“True.” If we hadn’t leashed him, Pirate would have gone through the vortex with me.
He took a step forward until we were practically touching. “But you don’t trust me,” he said, his mouth inches from mine.
Oh please. I backed away. How dare he hash out our relationship at a time like this? “I thought this was about my training.”
His eyes flared. “It’s all tied up, believe me.”
Okay. Well then maybe that was part of my problem. “I don’t belong here and I certainly don’t belong with you.” I’d felt it on some level since I’d gotten here, and I’d only grown more sure as time went on.
Did I really need another lesson like the one I’d gotten
sitting outside his sisters’ door tonight? Alone. Knowing I didn’t belong and wanting it anyway.
It was torture and I refused to keep doing it to myself.
Dimitri opened his arms wide. “Come on, Lizzie. Tell me what you really think.”
He was the most annoying, infuriating, single-minded oaf I’d ever met. “I have no clan.” I didn’t belong here. When it came right down to it, I didn’t belong anywhere.
Didn’t he understand? “I can’t settle down. Not here. If I’m going to be a demon slayer—and I’m working hard to be a darned good one—I have to go where I’m needed.” Yes, the Red Skulls may be easy to get, but they were also the types who would follow me anywhere. After thirty years on the run, they didn’t know anything but the open road. Dimitri wanted a home and a wife. I couldn’t give him that. Not right now, at least. Maybe not ever.
He reared back. “Have you ever bothered asking me what I want?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Dimitri valued family above all else. He’d been willing to go to hell and back for the chance at a normal life.
I’d finally met a guy who wasn’t afraid to commit, and I couldn’t have him.
His eyes blazed. “You don’t know jack about what I want because we haven’t taken the time to stop and talk about it.”
“And
now
is the time?”
“Hell, yes.” He gripped my arms. “Everything has to fit in a nice box with you, doesn’t it?”
“It helps,” I said, purposely flippant.
“That’s not life.” He broke away. “In fact,” he said,
backing toward the scarred wall, “you have to be okay with losing me in order to truly love me.”
“That’s ridiculous.” I’d almost lost enough people in my life without his making light of it.
“Is it?” He wrenched the nearest torch from its holder. This one had been used many times before. It burned low, almost to his hand.
“What are you doing? Put it away or it’s going to burn you.”
He held it at eye level as he stood against the wall. Shadows played over his wide shoulders and a fine sheen of sweat coated his chest. “Cut the flame.”
“What?”
“Cut the flame before it burns me.”
“Dimitri,” I demanded. He’d gone too far. I could fire and I was 99.9 percent sure I’d hit it. But I wasn’t about to play that game. “Stop it. I don’t want to hurt you.”