A Taste of Sin (33 page)

“Indeed. I feel there’s an explanation for all this confusion but I vow I cannot think of one. I’d like to think the death of your child affected your sanity in some way, and that you finally came to your senses. Have you come to London to ask Sinjun’s forgiveness?”

“How dare she!” Emma charged. “Sinjun owes her nothing after the way she hurt him. She doesn’t deserve to be pardoned.”

Christy winced. Emma’s words hurt.

“Would you care to explain, Christy?” Sinjun asked.

“Would you believe me?”

“No, but they might.”

“Then I have nothing to say. If you’ll excuse me, I have duties elsewhere.”

“Nay, stay here.” He strode to the door. “Don’t any of you leave until I return.”

“What in the world,” Emma said, sending Christy a disgruntled look. “I don’t know why he puts up with you.”

“That’s enough, Emma,” Julian chided. “Obviously there are circumstances neither of us are aware of.”

Niall,
Christy thought with despair.
They don’t know about my bairn.
When they found out, they would hate her as much as Sinjun did.

When Sinjun returned a few minutes later with Niall in his arms, a hush fell over the room. Emma was the first to speak.

“Sinjun, that’s a baby!”

“Aye, my son. His name is Niall. He’s six months old.”

Julian sent Christy a look so filled with reproach that she had to look away. “Is that the same baby you were told had died at birth?”

“As you can see, he’s very much alive,” Sinjun said.

Her violet eyes ripe with resentment, Emma rounded on Christy. “Oh, no, how could you lie to my brother about a child’s life?” She reached for Niall, and Sinjun placed him into her arms. “He’s adorable,” she crooned, gazing lovingly into his tiny face. “He’s the picture of you, Sinjun. You must love him a great deal or you wouldn’t allow his mother into your home.”

Sinjun sent Christy a look that sent despair racing through her. He would never forgive her, but if she ever doubted his love for his son, his words soon set her straight. “I adore Niall. I didn’t think it possible to love another human being the way I love my son.”

Christy flinched. She knew Sinjun didn’t love her, but did he have to rub it in?

“So where do you go from here?” the ever practical Julian asked. “I heard you introduced your wife to society last night. Does that mean you intend to have a real marriage?”

“Christy will return to Scotland soon,” Sinjun exclaimed.

“You’ll never take Niall away from me, Sinjun,” Christy vowed. “He’s all I have.”

“Oh, look,” Emma said, clearly enthralled by her nephew. “He’s fallen asleep.”

“I’ll take him up to his room,” Sinjun said, holding out his arms.

“Let me,” Emma implored. “He’s so sweet.”

“I’ll show you the way,” Christy offered, eager to escape the censure clearly visible in Julian’s hard gaze.

Christy preceded Emma up the stairs. When she reached Niall’s room, she opened the door and followed Emma inside. Emma placed the lad carefully in his bed, then turned to Christy, her dark gaze probing relentlessly for the secrets Christy had tried to conceal.

“I don’t think you’ve told us everything,” she said quietly. “Sometimes another woman sees things men don’t. You love Sinjun. I can tell by the way you look at him. What haven’t you told us, Christy? When I look into your eyes I see pain and disappointment, and … aye, fear. Who do you fear?”

Was she that obvious? “You’re very astute for one so young.”

“I’m nineteen,” Emma replied. “My brothers, like all men, can be dunces at times. I’ve changed my mind about you. I think you need a friend. At first I was too angry to realize there was more involved here than met the eye. I hope you’ll trust me enough to confide in me.”

Christy truly did need a friend, someone besides Effie, who tended to mink the worst of Sinjun because he was English. But trusting Emma was no easy task. If Sinjun had refused to listen to her explanation, why would Emma believe her? She had done nothing to earn the trust of Sinjun or his family.

“What is it, Christy? I know something is bothering you. There has to be a good reason why you told Sinjun his son hadn’t lived past birth.”

Worn down by Emma’s persistence and needing desperately to unburden herself, Christy motioned Emma away from Mall’s bed. “Come into my room. I don’t want to awaken Niall.”

Seated next to Emma on the bed, Christy stared down at her hands and said, “I told Sinjun that our bairn had died to save his life.”

Emma’s eyes narrowed, apparently unconvinced. “Sinjun’s life was in danger? How is it he didn’t know?”

“While Sinjun was in London for Sir Oswald’s trial, Calum Cameron threatened Sinjun’s life should he return to Glenmoor. Calum wanted me for himself, or rather, he wanted the power that belonged to me. He thought he could have what he wanted by killing Sinjun and marrying me. I did what I had to in order to keep Sinjun from returning to the Highlands.”

“So you wrote him a letter telling him you wanted to wed Calum Cameron.”

“Aye, but I wasn’t certain that would be enough to keep him away. Then I remembered the writ of annulment Sinjun had brought to Glenmoor for my signature, and I tried to convince Calum that once the annulment was signed and sent back to Sinjun, he would dissolve our marriage, leaving me free to marry Calum.”

“Did Calum believe you?”

“No. Then I suggested that I tell Sinjun our bairn had died at birth, for then there was no reason for him to return to the Highlands.”

“It worked,” Emma said softly. “He was devastated. The child you carried meant a great deal to him. I never thought I’d see the day Sinjun would willingly retire Lord Sin, but I swear he would have, had your letter not arrived. Why did you come to London?”

“Calum was becoming impatient. Assuming that my marriage was no longer valid, he intended to force me into a handfast marriage and send Niall away to be raised by strangers. I couldn’t allow that. God must have heard my prayers, for Calum was wounded in a raid shortly before the ceremony. I fled to London while he was recovering from his wounds.

“I knew Sinjun would hate me if he discovered I’d lied about Niall, so I tried to keep out of his way. Then you told me about Sinjun’s race toward self-destruction and I had to see him, to learn for myself what my lies had wrought.” She flushed and looked away, recalling the night Sinjun had discovered her identity. “Unfortunately he saw through my disguise and eventually learned about Niall. He hates me. He wants to take Niall away from me,” she said on a sob.

“Did you explain all this to Sinjun?”

Christy gave a bitter laugh. “He refuses to listen to my explanation. Lord knows I tried.”

“I’ll tell him,” Emma said. “He’ll believe me.”

“No! Promise you will say nothing about what we discussed here. Sinjun needs to hear this from me. I want him to believe me, to trust me. If he doesn’t have faith in me, then we have no future.”

Emma took her hand. “You love him very much, don’t you?”

“Is it that obvious?”

'To me it is.”

“Have you ever been in love, Lady Emma?”

“You’re my sister-in-law, please call me Emma. And no, I’ve never been in love. Perhaps I will never marry. I compare all men with my brothers, and they don’t measure up. Men my age are too immature, and those older are usually looking for a drudge for their motherless children or a brood mare to give them an heir. Some are only interested in my fortune.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not,” Emma said brightly. “Maybe someday I’ll find the right man. Is there anything I can do to help you and Sinjun?”

“Thank you, but no. Just unburdening myself has helped. Until Sinjun is ready to hear my explanation, there is nothing anyone can do.”

Emma looked pointedly at the bed, her eyebrow arched inquisitively.

Christy flushed clear down to her toes. “I’m good enough for
that.
He just can’t seem to forgive the lies and deception that have plagued our association from the beginning. I know I was wrong and pray that one day he will forgive me.”

“I’ll pray for that, too,” Emma said, giving her a hug. “I must go now or Julian will be wondering what’s keeping me. May I come back to see Niall?”

“Any time,” Christy said warmly.

Alone in the study, Julian was taking Sinjun to task.

“I vow, Sinjun, you do tend to surprise me. Not long ago you were well on your way to perdition. Now here you are, a father and husband. Have you forgiven Christy?”

Sinjun’s mouth flattened. “No, I haven’t forgiven her. The only reason she’s living in my house is because Niall is too young to be separated from his mother.”

“Are you sure that’s the only reason? Are you saying you have no real marriage?”

Sinjun sent him a mocking grin. “Oh, it’s real enough, if you’re referring to the sexual aspects of marriage. Christy is a beautiful woman, and she is my wife.” He made an impatient gesture with his hand. “Dammit, Julian, call me a fool, but I still want her.”

Julian grinned. “’Tis obvious you love Christy.” Julian ignored Sinjun’s snort of derision as he blithely continued. “A pity you wasted the first fifteen years of your marriage on mistresses and wild pursuits. Had you and Christy gotten together sooner there would have been no need for lies or subterfuge. Think of all the years you’ve squandered earning your reputation as London’s finest wastrel. Lord Sin, indeed. Rake, scoundrel, reprobate. Those are but a few of the names you’ve collected over the years, Sinjun.” He shook his head. “What a waste.”

“Maybe I’ve changed,” Sinjun allowed. “I have a son now.”

“And a wife,” Julian reminded him.

“That remains to be seen.”

“Did Christy offer a satisfactory explanation as to why she lied to you about your child? What about the Cameron chieftain?”

“Bloody hell, Julian, leave off. If you must know, I’m in no mood to hear Christy’s explanation. Perhaps one day I’ll listen, when I can do so objectively.”

“You know what I think, Sinjun?”

“I don’t really care, but I suppose you’ll tell me anyway.”

“Your feelings for Christy are stronger than you care to admit. I recall how excited you were about having a child, and how eager you were to return to Christy and pick up where you left off.”

“Things have changed. I’m not sure how I feel about Christy now.”

“Another word of advice. Take care of Niall. He’ll inherit my title one day.”

Sinjun frowned. “What the hell are you talking about? You’re still young. One day you’ll wed and have your own son.”

Julian’s gaze drifted away. “No, I’ll never wed.”

“Your intended wife died over two years ago. The time for mourning is over. Find another woman, Julian. I know you have a mistress, maybe more than one, so you’re not indifferent to women.”

“I loved Lady Diana very much,” Julian acknowledged. “You didn’t know what was going on because you were oblivious to everything except maintaining your reputation as a rakehell. Diana and I became intimate. She was carrying my child when she died in that carriage accident two days before our wedding.”

He paused, his eyes narrowing into glittering slits, his voice shaking with barely controlled violence. “It was no accident, Sinjun. She was riding in
my
carriage. I was supposed to be inside, not my innocent Diana. I should have died that day.”

Sinjun stared at Julian as if seeing him for the first time. Julian was right. He’d been so immersed in hedonistic pursuits that he’d been oblivious to Julian’s pain following the accident.

“Why would anyone want to kill you? Does it have anything to do with your penchant for disappearing for long periods of time? You’ve been mighty secretive these past few years.”

Julian helped himself to brandy from the sideboard, fortifying himself with a long sip before answering Sinjun’s questions.

“I’m working for the government, Sinjun. Have been for years. My trips are directly related to whatever undercover work Lord Pitt considers worthy of my talents. I have been onto something important since before Diana’s death, so I suppose I’ll be leaving London again soon.”

“Bloody hell, Julian, this is astounding! Why have you taken on such dangerous work? You must resign immediately.”

Julian’s expression went cold as death. “I won’t stop until I find Diana’s killer. The man who killed her is still out there. Someday I’ll come across him, and when I do, he’d better be prepared to die.”

Sinjun was stunned by the dark menace in Julian’s voice. He’d known Julian and his betrothed had been close, but he’d never suspected how close. Suddenly all Julian’s unexplained absences made sense.

“I don’t know how long I’ll be gone this time,” Julian continued. “If something unforeseen should happen to me, I want your promise to see that Emma marries well.”

“Damnation, Julian—”

“Your promise.”

“You have it.”

“You’ll inherit, of course, then your son after you.”

Sinjun was appalled by Julian’s sense of fatalism. “This conversation is moot as far as I’m concerned. You’re going to live to a ripe old age, and when you do meet your maker your eldest son will inherit.”