A Taste of Temptation (Love Spectrum Romance) (21 page)

“Brandi, just listen to me.”

“Why couldn’t you have trusted me the way I trust you?”

He sat down on one of the chairs, looking up at her. “Because you never murdered anyone!”

Tears streaked her face. “That is not what I’m getting at. I know that couldn’t have been easy to tell me, but you and I are to have a life together, for better or for worse. Does that sound familiar? I don’t love you because you’re perfect. I love you for the man you are…at least for the man I thought you wanted to be to me.”

“I am the man you fell in love with; a man with a checkered past, that’s all.”

“You’re a man who can’t trust his fiancée, and that hurts me…that hurts me, Tim!”

He took her into his arms. “Brandi, I never meant to hurt you. You’re the only one I’ve ever loved other than my own child. Let me make things right for us again. I’m begging you.”

She wiped her tears. “I have a lot of thinking to do, so let me out of here.” She pulled the door open and ran out.

“Brandi, please.” He ran after her.

Students stopped to look, but she didn’t care, and continued running until she was leaning against her car. She wiped away tears, but felt the coolness of the ring against her cheek and looked at it.
I finally get one of these and I don’t even want it—not from him.
She knew her own thoughts were a lie.

She got into the car, starting it and not stopping until she was home. Her parents were still at work, and Brian was at school. That gave her plenty of time to cry her guts out in peace, without having to answer a ton of questions. She looked at the ring again, then took it off, wrapped it in tissue and put it in her purse to give it back later, when she could face him.

Tim sat in his empty classroom. Another failed relationship was weighing heavily on his chest. Passing students stared at him, but he didn’t care. What he cared about was that a beautiful young woman had just run out of his life, probably forever.

CHAPTER 21

Brandi didn’t know where the ring was. She had agonized for days before deciding she could face Tim again. She knew she had to face him and return the ring.

Mrs. Miles stood outside the door watching her daughter’s frantic search. She knew what Brandi was looking for. “I put it in your bottom drawer.”

Brandi pretended not to know what her mother was talking about. “What’s in the drawer?”

“Don’t be coy. I know what you’re looking for. Any woman would know that from the looks of the ring.”

Knowing now that it was safely inside the top drawer, she sat next to her mother on the bed. “Thanks for putting it away for me. I don’t know how I could have been so careless.”

“Indeed. It’s gorgeous. Why was it under your bed? I walked in and saw it lying on the floor. Brandi, what’s going on here?”

“Please, I can’t discuss this now, if it’s okay with you.”

“Well, it’s not okay with me. I find my daughter’s engagement ring on the floor; and you close yourself up in this room for three days, refusing to see your friends. I don’t understand you lately. Now what has happened?”

“Tim and I had a fight.”

She smiled and patted Brandi’s back. “Baby, is that all? Most couples have spats before they get married.”

“This was not just a spat, Mom. I can’t trust him.”

“What? You can’t trust him? Did he cheat…”

“No! He didn’t do that.”

“Then what is it?”

She put her face in her hands. “Mom; he’s been lying to me. I was sent some information on him, and I confronted him about it. He lied to me about part of his life.”

“Like what?”

“Mom, please. I can’t talk about it now. All I know is that he never said those files were a lie. I knew about some of it, but he couldn’t trust me with the other details of his life. I knew he didn’t have a great childhood, but he withheld things from me.” She retrieved the ring, holding it to the light. “All I know is that I have to give this back to him, and soon.”

“Can’t you two talk it out again? I’ve never seen you not want to talk to him.” She saw the blank look on her daughter’s face. It scared her. “I just hope you two can workout whatever this is.”

“That takes more strength than I have right now.” Brandi found the ring’s box and gently placed it back inside.

Brandi pulled into Columbia’s parking lot. She parked her car and took the little silver box from her purse. She hating giving the ring back; it was gorgeous, given to her by a man she still loved. She had to give it back, because hanging on to it was too painful. She would have seen Tim each time she looked at it. That was just too hard to do.

His lecture hall door was wide open. She knew he had third period free on Wednesdays. She started to walk, then stopped. Her feet tried to move, but it was as though they were glued to the floor. She knew she had to make that move eventually.

He saw her, and forced a tired smiled, hoping she was here to give him a second chance. She continued to stand there, looking as if she didn’t know whether to come in or leave. So, he went to her. “Are you going to come in, or do you need an invitation?”

She walked in and put the box on his desk. “I just wanted to give this back. I left in such a hurry last week, I and forgot to give it to you.”

He looked at it, then back to her, knowing she wasn’t there to make amends. “I see. Sooner or later, I knew it would make its return.” Quickly changing the subject was his best defense so she couldn’t see his tears. “Are you okay?”

“Not exactly.”

“I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry for everything.”

“Tim, I know you don’t understand what’s been going on lately, but lack of trust is a big thing with me.”

“Brandi, you knew I had a screwed-up childhood. I didn’t hold anything back. How can I explain a lifetime of defeat and betrayal?”

“I just wish I had known more about your life.”

“Would that have made you love me any less?”

“No…I don’t know, Tim; probably not.” She took the box and placed it in his hand. “All I know is that I need time to try and understand my own feelings about us now.”

“Funny thing; I don’t need time to think as you say you do. I know I love you, Brandi. I just can’t understand why this is so messed up for us.”

“I don’t know what you might tell me next that I was supposed to already know. That sounds odd, but that’s how I feel.”

“What feels odd is that I finally fell in love. I can tell, because my heart is breaking.”

Those words almost broke her down, and running back into his arms would be her next move if she didn’t soon leave. But she was determined to stand her ground and work this out in her own head, in her own time.

She wiped her tears and walked out. There were no tears left for him to shed. He took the ring from the box and examined it as if it were still on her precious finger. “Designed just for you, but you’ll never wear it.”

A student approached and saw his worried expression. “Are you okay, Dr. Polaris?”

“No.”

Tim needed to talk to someone who could understand, someone who wouldn’t give him advice; someone who knew what he was going through: Monica. He called her number and waited for her to answer. He knew she only worked half-days on Fridays. She had piano lessons. “Monica, I know this is a bad time, but can we talk today? I really need your ear.”

“Sure. I’m across town at my lesson and should be done shortly. Take the key from my patio mat and let yourself in.”

“Great! May I use your computer and a spare disc in the meantime for something I need to copy from the Internet?”

“Yes, take what you want. The discs are in the top left drawer on the desk.”

“Thanks, see you soon.”

There were no discs in the top left drawer in Monica’s desk drawer, so he searched further and saw two towards the back of the middle drawer. He put one in to see if it was used. Her lecture notes from months past were on that one, so he picked up the other one. The contents of the other disc flashed across the computer screen—Brandi’s paper. “What the hell…?”

He read parts of both papers, realizing these were the exact ones that the girls were to read at Niagara University. “Why does she have these? My God! What has Monica done?”

Brandi was no longer in his life, and now Monica was seemingly sabotaging everything. He was about ready to dive to the bottom of the first bottle he could find. He took the disc and left before Monica arrived.

Tim went home and sought refuge in sleep. Hours later, he woke clutching an unopened bottle of scotch and hearing the Hiroshima CD playing over and over again. In his other hand was a picture of him and Brandi taken at Coney Island weeks ago.

Brandi woke up from her dream at the same time, crying and calling out Tim’s name. Her parents heard her screams. Mrs. Miles resumed her knitting while Mr. Miles looked up the steps, wondering what was going on with his daughter. Mrs. Miles stopped him before he went up the steps. “Jeff, don’t go up there. It’s the same thing as before.”

“I knew that guy was trouble.”

“Don’t start the same old crap again about having arrested him after some fight at a boy’s home. That was years and many stories ago. Let it go; he’s a grown man now.”

“He’s dangerous.”

“Talking trash about him won’t help; now let her work through this.”

He slowly walked back to the couch, plopping down next to his wife. “I hate seeing her so upset over him. I just wish there was something I could do to help her.”

“If you like, I’ll get your Superman cape from the basement.”

He kissed her cheek. “Funny.”

Brandi tried going back to sleep but couldn’t. All she could do was think about him when awake, dream of him when asleep. All he represented was more drama in her life, but she still loved him, needed him in her arms, but he had destroyed that. She simply wanted what her parents had, a marriage that was in its twenty-third year. Everyone thought she was going to have it until things took a drastic turn.

Another hour passed; still unable to sleep. She thought she had heard someone call to her. Thinking it was her imagination, she turned over. She heard the call again, and it was Tim. She looked through her window and saw Tim standing on the wet lawn, drenched.

Tears came to her eyes when she saw how bad he looked. His clothing was ripped and wet. He was crying and on his knees, becoming seriously unglued. His voice grew louder and louder. Neighboring porch lights began to come on. Soon the entire neighborhood seemed to be gawking at Brandi’s version of a Frankenstein monster. Brandi grabbed her robe and ran past her mother before she had a chance to confront her about anything.

She made it to the front door in time to see Tim break away from her father. He looked her dead in the face. “You come over here right now and tell me you don’t love me, Brandi. Why are you doing this? I’ve made mistakes, that’s all, mistakes. I can’t help how my life started, but I have tried to fix it.” He tried standing but fell back to his knees. “You know I love you because I’m losing it out here. Why can’t you love me back? I’ve tried to be a good boy. Didn’t I love you enough?”

Her father tried stopping her, and pushed Tim aside so he couldn’t stand. Brandi ran to Tim’s defense. “Don’t do that to him, Dad.”

“Brandi, he can’t reason with you now. Look at him.” He proceeded to lift Tim to his feet and push him across the lawn. “Get the hell out of here. You’ve caused my daughter enough pain. I wish I had been able to nail you all those years ago. You were a punk then, and you’re a bigger one now. Get lost, Polaris!”

Again Brandi ran to Tim. “Tim, please don’t do this.”

“I…I just want another chance, Brandi.”

“I can’t talk to you like this, now just stop it! You’ve got to trust my decision, Tim.”

He stared at her, contempt pulsing through his voice. “Trust you? How can I trust you, Brandi? You won’t give me a chance. Look what I’ve become because I trusted another woman. I also trusted Monica, and look what she did to me.”

“What’s Monica got to do with anything?”

“Screw Monica, and screw you, too! You were something I thought was good and real. For the first time I thought I had that! All you did was toss me away like yesterday’s trash!”

Mr. Miles took Brandi’s arm. “Honey, he’s drunk, let me handle him until the police arrive.”

“The police! No, I’ll handle him; you’ve done enough, thank you. You didn’t have to knock him around, Dad. I’ll handle Tim.”

“I don’t think you can.”

“He’s listening to me, at least. He may not be saying the words I want to hear, but he’s listening to me.”

“Honey, the neighbors.”

“I don’t care about them; let them look.” She returned to Tim. “Let’s go somewhere and talk; just you and I.”

He stood on wobbly legs. “We’ve talked enough. Why would you want to continue talking to someone you hate?”

She reached for his hand, but he pulled away. “Brandi, if you loved me, my past wouldn’t have mattered. I didn’t mean to kill him, but he was always on me. I was dying inside with every blow that kid gave me. No one would help me.” He looked at her father. “No one would believe me; that includes my brother.” He heard the sirens in the distance. “I’m leaving before the cops come. Don’t worry, I’ll never bother you again. Consider me history.”

Brandi watched him walk off, all along feeling the metaphorical knife in her back. She called to him, but he kept walking.

Tim wanted to turn back, but figured she’d only toss him aside again when the going got rough. Hearing her cry made him want to take her into his arms and promise her that things would be better for them. He heard Brandi screaming at her parents as they held her back.

“I need to try and make up with him. He was right…he was so right, and I acted without thinking as usual.” She looked at him. “Tim, please come back. I’m sorry. I was wrong, and I realize that now. It takes seeing you walking away from me to make me realize everything. Tim, come back!”

“You weren’t wrong, Brandi. You’re better off without me.” He continued walking away from her crushing cries. Every step he took away from her killed him, but he knew that he could never truly make her happy with all of his inadequacies. Their love had only been a taste of temptation. She was temptation, and he had been weak for her.

The next morning, Mrs. Miles helped Brandi pack the rest of her clothes and put them into the car. Before closing the hatchback, she pulled her depressed daughter aside. “Are you going to be okay?”

“I don’t know, Mom. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love him, yet I ruined everything.”

“You don’t have to leave, honey. Stay here and we can talk through it.”

“What can I possibly say? I messed up, and Tim is gone. I haven’t been able to reach him on his house or cell. His truck is never there. He has moved on, apparently.”

“Maybe not. You can keep trying while talking it out with me. Honey, you shouldn’t handle this alone.”

“Aunt Theresa will be there with me. Besides, this is best. I’ve caused enough trouble around here. I can see the disappointment in Dad’s eyes.”

“Baby, that’s not true. He’s concerned about you.”

“It’s bad enough what I did to Tim, but Dad hitting and kicking him…I just can’t be here knowing he did that. I can still see him doing that, and it hurts.”

She saw her mother’s tears matching her own and took her hand. “This will be better. With time away, maybe Dad and I can be civil to one another.” She pulled her last suitcase into the car and closed the door. “Aunt Theresa and I can talk, but not right away. I don’t even know how to talk about Tim anymore.”

“If you need me, will you call me?”

“You know I will. I love you.”

They waved good-bye as Brandi’s car drove out of sight.