A Taste of Temptation (Love Spectrum Romance) (7 page)

CHAPTER 7

Everything looked as it did the night Brandi first went home with him. The house was a rather large ranch with two bedrooms, well-manicured lawn, neat. Brandi could hear his shepherd mix, Myrrh, barking in the background. She entered and tried not to think of anything else. She walked into the spacious living room and immediately went to his book collection. “May I look through these?”

“Help yourself. I’ll get the papers from the bedroom.”

“Don’t forget the notes.”

“I won’t.” He entered the bedroom, wishing he was carrying her in his arms to place her on his bed. He quickly shoved the idea aside, knowing it would never happen as long as they both were at Madison. He picked up the folder containing the papers—they weren’t inside. “What the hell.…” He took a quick look around the room. Nothing!

Brandi called to him, “Are you okay in there? You’re making quite a racket.”

“Just looking for something. Be out soon.”

“Tim, may I play your Michael Franks CD?”

“Help yourself. I can’t find the papers anyway; give me a minute to find them.”

As he searched the room, the phone rang and he grabbed the receiver on the second ring. It was his neighbor Anthony Haliburton from across the street. “Tim, been waiting for you to get home. Myrrh had been barking for almost two hours straight. Is everything okay over there?”

“Two hours?” He looked around the bedroom, then peeked through the shades. “Looks like everything’s fine. He’s been fed, so I don’t know what the problem is.”

“He was barking like a mad dog before.”

“I’ll check on him. Thanks, Anthony.”

Returning to the living room, he saw Brandi looking through his CD rack. One look at her in that form-fitting jogging suit almost made him forget why he had walked back in. He cleared his voice. “Myrrh’s having some kind of coronary out there. Let me just check on him. I hope to find the papers.”

“You can’t find them?”

“They’re around here. Want a Coke or something? It’s in the refrigerator.”

“Oh, no thanks. It’s after seven, and I should go home, shower and get going on that next paper.”

“So soon?”

It was hard for her to even be there. “I hate doing papers at the last minute, so I had better get cracking. It will be due before I know it.”

“Let me check on Myrrh, and then I’ll take you home.”

It was unlike Myrrh to bark like that unless something was wrong. He approached the barking dog and stroked his thick fur. “What’s up, boy? Why the racket?” He pulled a piece of paper from the dog’s mouth. There were more pieces on the grass. Reading it as best he could in the fading light, he realized it was part of one of the papers he wanted to give Brandi.
What the heck is this doing out here?
He looked at the other pieces on the grass, and realized they were more of the papers he had wanted to give Brandi. Myrrh hadn’t been in the house all day for sure, nor had he taken those papers from the house. There were no signs of forced entry on either door.

Brandi was standing near the back door when he re-entered. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah, he’s fine. Parts of the paper I wanted to give you were out there, and I have no idea how they got out there. Anyway, let me check a little more and get back to you. Would that be okay? I know you have to get home.”

“Don’t worry about it. I have all night to study.”

He couldn’t find the rest of the papers, but brought out the notes. He entered the living room just in time to see Brandi swaying to the music.

Their eyes met, and she immediately stopped dancing. Her brown cheeks reddened to his unspoken advances. “I got caught up in the moment. Michael Franks is one of my favorites.”

“I can tell. Don’t stop dancing on my account.”

“Did you find the papers?”

“I have no idea where they are. I’m really sorry. They were really good and would have been a lot of help to you. I have the books, though.”

Brandi walked towards him, moving so close to him that she could see the tiny laugh lines at the corners of his sexy mouth. Her voice weakened. “I truly appreciate the use of your notes, Tim.”

He was nervous around her, nervous, hardly knowing what to say. “Those were good seminars, don’t you think?”

“Very enlightening. Thank you for inviting me.”

“It was my pleasure.”

She hugged him in gratitude. Her arms encircled his neck, feeling smooth skin, and his body heat filtering through to hers.

His arms tightened around her, pressing her into the tightness of his groin. He broke from her, looking into her eyes. When he spoke, his voice was husky, his words awkward. “I…uh, didn’t mean to hold you so tightly.”

“It’s okay. I hugged you first.”

“I should take you home; you have things to…”

“Yes.”

His fingers brushed against her lips. He felt her heat, her intensity. A picture of her sitting in his lecture hall flashed in his mind, and he dropped his arms to his sides. “Let’s get you out of here, Brandi.”

He stepped back not saying another word, just staring at her. Chest heaving, eyes searching the ground, he was a man in pain from wanting what he couldn’t have. “Let’s go before I lose my ever-loving mind!”

“Tim, I’m…I’m so sorry.”

“Forget it. It was my fault. I shouldn’t have brought you here.”

“It wasn’t just you. You know how I feel about you.”

“Please don’t feel that way about me, Brandi. It’ll never work.”

“I know. We could both end up losing it all.”

“I can’t have that, Brandi. I just can’t have it.” He saw tears in her eyes and almost reached for her hand. Touching her would start a chain reaction too hard to stop. He picked up the notes that slipped from her hand. “Don’t forget this.”

* * *

It was a long, silent ride from his Jamaica Estates home to hers in Brooklyn. Tim stopped the car in front of her house and leaned across her to open her door. Figuring what to say to her was agonizing, but he decided to just come out with something to try and ease her mind. “Brandi, don’t let what happened stop you from getting my help with your papers. You’re supposed to see me on Wednesday.”

“It won’t stop me, but I can’t ever go back to your house again. You do understand, don’t you?”

“It’ll be better that way. I’m glad you went to the seminar, though. It was good for you.”

She said good-bye and headed towards the house on the verge of tears.

Sounding desperate, he called to her: “Brandi…I’m sorry.”

“So am I.” She ran across the lawn and disappeared.

All he could do was sit there and give into his feelings. He could still feel her lips on his. But he knew that would not happen again unless one of them made a move. He drove off troubled. His interview with Columbia that following Monday was a definite yes; he had to get away from Madison, no matter how much he loved it there. The invitation to Columbia had been open before Brandi had resurfaced in his life.

He found himself at a bar downing another scotch. He dreaded going home to the place where he kissed her as he had never another woman. Too many fresh, unsettling memories to face. Selling his house briefly crossed his mind, but he realized that selling it would be too stupid a move even for his state of mind.

Sitting to his left at the bar was a young blonde ready to walk out with him the minute the minute he finished his drink. He kissed her on the lips, pretending they were Brandi’s, but there was no comparison. Tim set the glass down, took the woman’s hand, and left with her.

They headed for a mid-town motel he had frequented. He simply had no stomach for taking anyone to his house after having made love to Brandi there. He lay across the bed feeling numb and emotionless. The young woman spread eagle on top of him, kissing her way down from his moist forehead, teasing, kissing.

He usually loved women undressing him, but not this night! He looked at her face…and didn’t see Brandi. For a split second, he was ashamed, actually feeling as if he were cheating on Brandi. Yet he let the young woman stroke the front of his pants, slowly pulled the zipper down. He suddenly took her wrists, stopping her.

She smiled at him, caressing his stomach. “Come on, sugar. I know you’re not bashful; you’re too sexy for that.” She tried unbuttoning his shirt again, but he held her off.

“Stop. I can’t do this.” He moved to the side of the bed.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No. It’s not you; it’s me. I just can’t to this.”

“Do you have a wife?”

“Not anymore.”

“A lover?”

He ignored the question. “You shouldn’t be doing this with a man you just met. You’re too pretty for this. Go and find someone who can be a good man to you.” He fished for some money in his pocket. “I’m sorry I wasted your time. Don’t do this to yourself anymore.”

The woman eyed him cautiously, then reached for her clothes.

Once she was fully dressed, she put the money in her purse and called for a cab. He had left before the cab arrived, telling her to not open the door until she saw the cab.

On his way home his mind went back to the events of the day. He and Brandi had such a good time listening to the speakers, then he had to ruin everything by nearly losing control. Everything always came so hard for him, including simple things like being with a woman he knew he could love. He only hoped Brandi saw him as a man who’d had a weak moment, instead of someone she could never trust again.

After their brief but steamy encounter, Brandi wasn’t in the mood to do anything resembling work. She had rushed into the house practically in tears. All she had managed to do was shower and slide into her favorite nightgown. Later that evening, she lay across her bed trying to block out thoughts of Tim; nothing worked. Her Jill Scott CD only reminded her of him. Any love song brought him to mind. His kiss was so delicious, melting a hole in her. Remembering the way his body pressed against hers made her legs weak. Going into his house in the first place was a bad idea, feeling she would fall victim to her own emotions. Everything was so hard for her now that he had come back into her life. Making him part of her life even if she wasn’t attending Madison, would cause her problems—
Why does he have to be white?
She knew for sure that color was not an issue for her but it was for the people she cared about. They would make her life hard in ways Tim could never dream of, and she didn’t know if she was strong enough to handle the pressure that was sure to come.

Everything that happened that day gave her a splitting headache—enough to make her reconsider going back to NYU, scholarship or not! She put her pillow over her head to drown out all of the voices in her head telling her what to do, what not to do. All she wanted was her life to feel right for the first time in months.

A knock on her door startled her. At first she didn’t answer, figuring it was one of her parents wanting to know about her day. All she wanted was to sleep the rest of the night; she did not want to answer any questions.

Another knock. “Brandi!” It was her aggravating thirteen-year-old brother, Brian, who had made a point of telling Tim after the last home game that he wanted to play basketball for Madison. Right. But he and Tim hit it off really well. Since Tim had been a coach before, he was used to people, especially kids, telling him that they wanted to try out. She put the pillow back over her head.

Brian knocked again. “Brandi, wake the heck up! I want some DVDs.”

She didn’t want to answer him, but knew he would stay there like a dope until he got an answer. “Go away, Brian. I’m sleeping.”

“This early? Get real and open the door. I want Austin Powers. I know you think he’s groovy, baby.”

“Shut up, Brian. Or should I say, Mini Me?”

“You want me to get Dad?”

She jumped from the bed, grabbed the movie and flung the door open. “Fine, anything to shut you up. Can I be alone now?”

He stared at her weary face. “What’s your deal?”

“Killing you would be an idea. I’m tired. Okay?”

“Yeah, tired of being a hood-rat.”

“That’s your word for the week, huh? Those hood friends of yours may very well have you killed one day—by me. Now, get out of here. Go aggravate the dog, if she is not already tired of you.”

“Whateverrr.”

Sometimes she hated Brian, but at least he had taken her mind from Tim.

CHAPTER 8

Timothy Polaris walking out of the administrative offices at Columbia University was about the last thing Tiffany expected to see that morning. She had been there to get her transcripts from the year before. She ran towards him, calling to him like a madwoman. “Dr. Polaris, wait!”

He turned around and smiled into her pretty face. “Miss Jackson? I didn’t expect to see you. What are you doing here?”

“I took a few summer classes last year and had to get my transcripts. I’m being considered for next year’s Norton award, remember?”

“Yes, I remember, and that’s great. I always knew you could do it. Your grades are excellent, at least in my class. Should be no problem.”

“I hope not. I worked my butt off. I remember what Brandi went through to get hers.” She chose her words carefully: “Dr. Polaris. I had planned to come to see you soon anyway. I was wondering, well…would you write me a letter of recommendation?”

“Be glad to. When do you need it?”

“Yesterday, if that makes any sense. I’ll be glad to come by your office and pick it up.”

“I’ll do it today, since I took the day off anyway.”

“Why are you here? Don’t you have enough to keep you busy at Madison?”

“They’ve been hounding me to come in and see what they can offer me.”

“As in a job?”

“I’m thinking about it—seriously. They’ve been after me for two years. I decided I should at least talk to them.”

“You’re thinking about leaving Madison? Everyone will die.”

“You’re too kind, Miss Jackson.”

“No! I’m serious. You can’t leave us.”

“I didn’t say I was leaving, though it’s possible. Don’t let on about it.”

“I won’t, but aren’t you happy at Madison?”

He couldn’t tell her the main reason he felt the move would be good for him. True, he would miss seeing Brandi in his class, but it would free them from teacher/student complications. Getting away from Madison would give him the break he needed. Being able to step back and analyze his situation would help him decide if he could be a good man for Brandi. Given his past life, he wasn’t sure that he could make any woman happy.

“Dr. Polaris?”

He turned to Tiffany. “Sorry, seems I zoned out for a minute. There’s a lot on my mind today. Yes, I’m happy at Madison. It’s a wonderful school, but one should check one’s options, don’t you think?”

“I guess. I was really looking forward to having you next semester.”

“It’s only midterms, and you’re already thinking about next semester?”

“One should think ahead, right?”

“Right, but don’t write me off so quickly. I haven’t accepted the job here yet. I told them I would get back to them soon. I told NYU the same thing.”

“You’re really in demand, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I guess so, but I don’t know why.”

“You’re a genius.”

“I am not a genius, Miss Jackson. I just happen to be passionate about literature and writing.”

“You teach a good class. I would hate to see you leave.” She glanced at her watch. “Gotta’ go; I have Killborn in forty-five minutes, and believe me, she lives up to her name. She does
kill
us with her boring lectures.”

He smiled for the first time that day. “I’ll see you in class tomorrow, and I’ll have your letter.”

Tiffany hailed a cab and quickly slid in. “I’ve got to tell Brandi.”

* * *

Tiffany pulled in front of Brandi’s house in her father’s Hummer. “Hurry up, girl. You want to be late for Wesley Snipes?”

“Give me a break. The name of the movie is not Wesley Snipes, geek!”

“Whatever, he’s in it. That’s all that matters to me.”

“He is a hottie. I’m glad you’re early. Brian is getting on my last damn nerve. You should be glad you don’t have a little brother.”

“I have it worse. Todd is older than me, so he thinks he’s my father or something. And you don’t have a sister who reports every move you make as Trina does. Give me Brian any day.”

“Take him, please!”

Tiffany smiled impishly. “Speaking of hotties, guess who I saw coming from Columbia’s administration building.”

“Let me guess, another man you will soon be dating, right?”

“Aah, if only I could.”

“Who was it?”

“Timothy Edward Polaris.”

“Really?”

“Really. Guess what he was doing there? You won’t like this. No woman at Madison will like it.”

“He was probably just taking care of some business.”

“Oh, he was taking care of business, alright. I’m not supposed to tell you this, so don’t let on that you know.”

“Know what?”

“He was interviewing for a job there. Please, don’t tell him anything.”

“What? No, he wasn’t.”

“Brandi, promise me.”

“Okay, okay. But he was probably arranging a lecture for the school. He does do guest lecturing. Besides, he likes Madison too much to leave it.”

“He likes something else more.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“There’s got to be a reason for him to want to leave Madison. Can you think of anything?”

Sure the hell can
. “No, he won’t leave. I know him too well. He loves that school.”

“Hey, I was simply letting you know…for your own personal info. What do I know?”

“Way too much to be a student.”

“Tease me all you want, but I think he’s leaving because of you. I know he likes you.”

“Yes, Tiffany, I do know.”

* * *

After the basketball game, Brandi quickly showered and dressed, knowing Tiffany was waiting for her. As she walked past the men’s dressing area, she thought she heard splashing from the Olympic sized pool. She wondered who was lagging behind. Since all of the players were gone, she figured it to be a member of the swim team. For some unknown reason she decided to investigate.

The swimmer was at the deep end of the pool doing backstrokes. She walked along the pool to see who it was and immediately recognized Tim’s long, muscular arms reaching to the sky.

As he swam the length of the pool, she walked along, wishing she was in the pool with him—making love. After what they had shared in his living room a few Saturdays ago, she knew she was the last person Tim wanted to see without having clothes on.

She thought of the fact that he hardly had anything on and it enticed her even more to go to him. He looked good wet. Sneaking a look at him with everything at attention would be an added bonus for the day. But she wasn’t there for that. Her mission that night was to find out if Tiffany was right. Leaving Madison would make a way for them to be together, but at what price?

Tim spotted Brandi midway down the lane and swam to the edge to greet her. “What are you doing here?”

“I should ask you that. Why are you in the pool?”

“I come here sometimes to work off tension. It helps me to think clearly, you know, some alone time.”

“I know you would rather be alone now but I think we need to talk.”

“Sounds serious.”

“It is serious. Do you have a minute?”

“Sure. What’s wrong?”

Seeing his navy trunks clinging to his hips made her lose her train of thought.

“Brandi, are you okay?”

Remembering where she was, she handed him his towel. “Yeah,

I’m fine.”

“What’s the problem? I hope you’re not here about what happened the other night. I said I was sorry.”

“It’s not that.” She didn’t know whether to confront him or not. Getting Tiffany in trouble with him could jeopardize their friendship, but she had to know something. Avoiding the subject until she could approach it calmly would have to do. “Did you enjoy the game tonight?”

“Indeed I did; you ladies wowed everyone. Was your family able to make it?”

“Not all of them. My Aunt Theresa said she’ll come to Holbrook for that game.”

“Good. I hope they win that one just for her sake. How does your brother feel about the team now?”

“He still wants to sign up, but the brat’s got some growing up to do.”

“Brat? Sounds like what my brother, Greg, used to call me.”

“Brother? Didn’t know you had one. There’s lots that I don’t know about you; for instance, the decision you might be making soon regarding NYU and Columbia.”

He sat on the bench and dried a space for her. “What are you talking about.”

“I saw Tiffany the other day. She told me about Columbia. Does this have anything to do with us almost kissing a few weeks ago?”

“I asked her not to tell anyone.”

“You wouldn’t have told me? You would have just left one day and not say a word?”

“Of course I would have told you, Brandi.”

“Then tell me now. I deserve to know.”

“I was going to tell you when I knew something more definite. Everything is up in the air, Brandi. I don’t know if I’m leaving yet. It was just an interview.”

“Tim, am I the reason for the interview?”

“Yes and no.”

“What’s that mean?”

He ran the towel over his damp hair. “It means just that. Yes, I am considering Columbia and NYU’s offer, and no, you’re not the only reason. I’ve been considering their offer for a long time. They’ve been offering me a position there for over two years now.” The towel dropped to his lap. “You’re half the reason, though.”

“I don’t want to be. I didn’t mean to be.”

“This is not your fault, Brandi. You weren’t the cause of my roaming Manhattan that night until I found you. Hell, I didn’t even know I was looking for you. Now that I know you, it’s become a little hard to control everything.”

“You still want to be with me no matter what?”

“I also didn’t say I want to be with you no matter what. I can’t let this get in the way of my job, Brandi. That’s why I’m seriously considering Columbia now. Besides, wouldn’t my being white make life a little hard for you outside of this school?”

“If I had found you somewhere other than this school, I wouldn’t give a good damn who didn’t want us to be together. What matters is that we’re together at a school that doesn’t condone students and teachers hanging together.”

“Hanging together, huh? That’s a good way to put it.”

“That’s what it is, us being together, no matter how I phrase it.”

“My color doesn’t matter to you?”

She leaned against the coldness of the tiled wall. “I have been battling that, Tim. I think it’s because I didn’t want my friends and family harassing me. I just…”

“I asked if
you
still care about that. Not what anyone else thinks.”

“No. I don’t care about that. If I did, that would make me awfully shallow. Do you think I’m shallow?”

“You’re the most together woman I know.”

“There’s so much that you have to learn about me. I am black, and that makes me different from any white woman you’ve been with. You still have to learn some things.”

“What do I have to learn, Brandi? You’re a woman, a woman that I like even though I don’t want to. Everyone learns what to do and what not to do when in a relationship. That’s basic.”

“That brings us to the real point, doesn’t it? Do you want a relationship with me? I think it’s the only reason you would leave a school you’ve invested some time in. Talk to me.”

He rubbed his eyes with the towel, beginning to tire of the conversation.

“Are you leaving or not, Tim?”

“I don’t know, Brandi. I don’t know anything these days but I do know the only way I can be with you is to leave.”

“I feel awful about that.”

“Don’t! If I leave it’ll be because I want to.”

He wouldn’t leave what he loves to make a way for them. She teased: “I know the women will miss you. You’re so totally fine, Timothy Polaris.”

“Wrong! I probably look like a white version of Fred Sanford.”

“Maybe in your mind. Thank God you don’t to the rest of the world. The fact remains, I like you, Tim. You’re much more man than I realized when I met you in Manhattan. I like being with you because you’re also compassionate. I like that in a person, especially men. If you left here, you know I would be after you.”

Silence. Then: “You’re hard to fight but well worth it. Brandi; there are other problems, though. I’m not good in relationships. They scare me.”

“I don’t want to scare you, just love you. Is that too much to ask?”

“No, but it might be hard with me. It will be hard.”

“No relationship is easy, and I don’t expect ours to be all peaches and cream. That’s not realistic to even imagine these days.”

“You’re right.”

“Then I guess I wait, and hope your decision will be best for both of us.”

“Whatever the case, I hope you’ll feel free to come to me for tutoring. I want you to do well above everything else.”

“God knows I need the help.”

“Your last two papers were great. You did a good job on Poe, and he’s very hard to interpret.” He stood and wrapped the towel around his hips. “We should leave before someone walks in here.”

“Have we settled this?”

“For now.”

She knew he would leave Madison. She was actually glad to be
a
reason, if not
the
reason. She could have her man.

“If I do leave, Eric will be happy.”

“Who cares what Eric will be? He’s a prude who wants everything his way. Life doesn’t work like that.”

“Indeed. I should know.”

She didn’t known much of his life, but knew some of it hadn’t been good. All she wanted was to be the one to change that. As he walked to the showers, she called him. “Tim, is your house okay? I remember you said there had been another break in.”

“No. I found another busted window in my basement.”

“You’re kidding?”

“Wish I was. Did you tell anyone that you were getting help from me?”

“Tiffany, but she’s the only one. I’m sorry.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“You don’t think that Tiffany…

“Never. She’s too smart for that.”

“Can I help with anything; help you fix the window?”

“I got it together, Brandi. You should take off now.”

She had forgotten to mention having told Eric about the tutoring. Eric was enough of a hothead, but to break into Tim’s house was not like him. He had caused her trouble in the past, like parking in front of her house and beeping his horn until she came out; following her and her friends. Also making a total ass of himself at the movies one evening. Confronting Eric would only make matters worse, especially for Tim. He would go to Columbia for sure if he had any inkling that Eric was behind this.