A Thin Line (44 page)

 
“Would you have married me if we had not been forced into it?”
 

“More than likely, no.
 
Regardless of my birth order, I was still the son of a duke and expected to marry well.
 
Now that I have inherited, I have so much more responsibility facing me.
 
Perhaps it would have been better for both of us if we had married someone else.”

Kala heard his words, but tried to remain distant.
 
She found it difficult with what he said. His words hurt, but she knew also they were true.
 
“I want to know something,” glad her husky voice disguised her emotional upheaval.

“What?”

“Why did you insist on marrying me?”

“We were seen in a compromising position.”

“Which could have been easily remedied, and you know it.
 
Why?
 
You didn’t want to marry me.
 
You wanted Clarissa.
 
She already knew how society worked.
 
She is sweet and biddable.
 
Everything you could ask for in a duchess.
 
Why did you even bother with me?
 
I would have moved back home and been content to never enter society again.”

“Truly?”

“Yes,” she whispered the lie.
 
As much as her brother detested the
ton
, she enjoyed it.
 
No, not everything, she amended, but she did like to dance and go to the theater.
 
She always looked at it as an adventure.
 
And there were a few nice people.

“What if I told you I wanted to marry you?”

Kala jumped up and whirled around to face him.
 
“Don’t you dare say that!
 
We both know it isn’t true.
 
I was a mistake.
 
This whole marriage is a mistake, and now I can’t get out of it.
 
We are both trapped.”

“I don’t consider myself trapped.”
 
He stood and wrapped his arms around her.
 

“You did, and if you think differently now, you’re a fool.”

“Perhaps at first,” he admitted honestly.
 
“Kala, do you know that you are the only woman who never looked at me as a novelty?”

“What about Clarissa?”

“It was odd, but now as I think about it, she seemed to think of me as a protector of some type.
 
Almost as if I could save her from something.”
 
He felt Kala struggling to move away from him, so he let his arms drop to his sides.

“How did you feel about Clarissa?” Kala knew she could be setting herself for heartbreak with the question, but she had to know.

“Clarissa was sweet and biddable, as you said.
 
I never had any deep feelings for her.”

“You were willing to sacrifice yourself for the family?
 
Never feel passion?
 
Never feel love?”

“Love is only something you read about in fairy tales, and look at what passion got me Kala,” Gabe raised his voice in frustration.
 
“This scar along the side of my face, and my brother dead.
 
That is what passion got me.”

“Yes, and that is my fault as well.”

“Dammit, Kala, that is not what I am saying.”

She walked to the window, knowing that she couldn’t see all she wanted to.
 
“It seems the storm has lightened some.
 
Do you suppose we can travel on to Derek’s today?”

“Mikala, I am sorry.”
 
He wrapped his arms about her waist, trying to draw her into him, but she remained stiff in his arms.
 

“Tomorrow is Christmas Eve,” she continued.

“Bloody hell, if that is the way you want it, fine, we can leave.
 
I will see what arrangements I can make.”
 

Mikala remained facing the window until he announced that he would be back.
 
She let her cheek rest against the cool glass, soothing her flushed face.

***

Needing to calm down, Gabe borrowed a sturdier horse, fetched the broken wheel and took it to a blacksmith.
 
By the time the wheel had been fixed and remounted, and the phaeton brought to the inn, darkness had begun to descend.
 
Gabriel let out a breath, sure that somehow Mikala would see this as his fault.
 
It seemed the only place they were compatible was in the marriage bed.
 
All this fighting had begun to wear on him, and he knew it had to be wearing on her as well.
 
If only they could get past their mistrust of each other and the events that led to their unwanted union.
 
Or was it unwanted?
 
He found himself questioning that more and more as each day passed.

He trudged into the inn and told Mrs. Simms they would be staying one more night.

“I think that be a good idea.
 
The Missus has not been well today.”

“Oh?”

“Aye.
 
Hasn’t eaten hardly anything.”

“I will see if I can get her to eat.”

“The tray is ready.
 
Here you go.
 
Made her some tea.
 
Said her stomach was upset.”

Gabe went upstairs and opened the door to the bedroom he shared with Mikala.
 
As soon as he opened the door, and the smell of the food wafted inside he heard her moan.
 
Next she leaned over the bed, retching into a bucket.
 
Concern ripped through Gabe and he quickly set the tray down across the room.
 
He wet a washcloth before going to her side.

Mikala felt the cool washcloth on her flushed skin.
 
She felt grateful for Gabe’s sudden presence.
 
He held a glass up for her so she could rinse her mouth.
 
Then she flopped weakly back against the bed.

“Mikala, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know.
 
I’ve been sick several times today.
 
It is either stress or I caught something.”

“Mrs. Simms sent food up.”

“Oh, please.
 
Don’t even mention food,” she pleaded, her stomach churning.

“What about tea and toast?”

“Please, just let me rest.
 
I guess we won’t be going to Derek’s, will we?”

“Not today,” he said, noticing her eyes were red and her skin blotchy.
 
Had she been crying?
 
“It is too late today.
 
We will see how you feel tomorrow.”

“Perhaps you should get another room.
 
If this is catching, I don’t want you to get sick as well.”

“I am not going to leave your side,” he said.

“Suit yourself,” she said before falling asleep.

While she slept, Gabe ate his supper, keeping a careful eye on her.
 
Once done, he cleaned up, undressed to his small clothes and crawled into bed with her.
 
He held her as she slept, feeling responsible for her sickness. Stress probably was causing it, and he felt to blame.
 
He pushed her hair off her face and kissed her tenderly on her forehead before relaxing enough to go to sleep himself.

 
***

The next morning Mikala woke cradled in Gabe’s protective embrace.
 
She took stock of herself, and found she felt weak, but overall much more the thing than yesterday.
 
She also found her vision to be clearer as well, and her head did not pound.
 
Rolling over onto her back, she turned her head and saw her husband propped up on one arm watching her carefully.

“I feel much better,” she answered his unspoken question.
 
She watched relief pass over his features.
 
“In fact, I believe we should go ahead and make the journey to Derek and Tessa’s.”

“I don’t know.”

“I do.
 
I feel better.
 
Did you get the wheel fixed?”

“Yes.”

“Then there is no reason we should not go.”

“Fine.
 
We leave within the hour.”

“I’ll be ready.”

Chapter 32

The roads they had to travel to get to Blackburn Hall were horrible after the rain.
 
They were bounced around in the phaeton and the weather had turned cold and drizzly.
 
After four hours on the road, traveling at a snail’s pace, they finally came to the drive for Derek’s estate.
 
Mikala found herself excited for several reasons.
 
She missed Tessa and having another female that understood her to talk with.
 
She also hoped she would get to see her father.
 
They were almost to the door when a horrifying thought crossed her mind.

“Gabe,” she touched his arm for the first time since leaving the inn.
 
“We haven’t brought any gifts.”

“I am sure they will forgive us.
 
We will give them double gifts next year or for their birthdays.
 
How will that be?”

“I suppose.”
 
They pulled in front of the door, and it flew open revealing Tessa.
 

“It
is
Mikala and Gabe!
 
I told you I saw someone on the drive!
 
Come in, you must be soaked through.”

“Not as bad as the other day,” Mikala responded as Gabe helped her down from her perch.

“Come in and tell me all about it.”
 
At that moment something overcame Mikala and she broke down into tears.
 
“What have you done to her?” Tessa asked Gabe suspiciously.

“Nothing and everything.
 
I’ll take the horse around to the stables.
 
Take care of her, please.”
 
Tessa watched the big man climb back onto the conveyance and take it over to the stables.
 
He looked as if the weight of the world lay upon his shoulders.

“Come, you need to step up…”

“I can see,” Mikala hiccupped.

“Well, that’s wonderful.”

“Yes,” she wailed.

“What’s wrong with her?” Derek asked as he entered the hallway.

“I’m going to take her upstairs and see if I can find out.
 
Gabriel is at the stables.
 
He looks like he could use a shoulder as well.”

“Were we this bad?”

“I imagine so.
 
Send Dru up, as well.”
 
They parted, and Tessa called for a bath to be delivered to one of the guest rooms.
 
Once sequestered in a room with her aunt and sister-in-law Mikala let the tears pour, tired of being strong and holding them in.
 

“Gabriel is the only one that I know of that can set her emotions off like this,” Dru said as she sat next to Mikala on the bed, holding her in her arms and rocking her gently.
 
A knock sounded at the door and two more women followed by footmen carrying a tub and buckets of water appeared.
 

“What’s wrong with her?” Elizabeth, Mikala’s sister, asked.
 
She sounded a little huffy to Mikala’s ears and that sparked her anger.

“Elizabeth, just leave.
 
I do not need someone else judging my faults.
 
Not now,” she swiped at her eyes and stared down her older sister.

“Fine,” she turned and flounced out of the room.

“I suppose I will have to soothe her ruffled feathers.
 
Mikala, we were just worried.”

“No, Mother, Elizabeth wanted to know why no one paid any attention to her and now you are going to go and make certain she has the attention she craves.”
 
She watched as her mother pursed her lips and placed her hands on her hips.
 
“Mother, it is fine.
 
I know you love me in your own way, but you don’t understand me.
 
Go see to Elizabeth.”
 
Mikala watched her mother leave the room, and the woman never attempted to even hug her.

“I can’t believe what I just saw,” Tessa said, stupefied.

“It has always been like that with Elizabeth and Mother,” Kala sniffed.
 
“I am sorry I started crying when I saw you,” she turned to address Tessa.
 
“Everything has just been overwhelming.”

“Let’s get you in the bath,” Dru said, “and you can tell us all about it.”
 
Once they had her settled in the hot, soothing water, Dru opened the discussion, “Tessa told us that you and Gabe are married.”

“Yes.”

“Is it not all you hoped it to be?”

“That depends.
 
The only time we seem to be compatible is, well, when,” she waved her hand in the air, hoping they would understand what she meant.
 
“It is all the other times where we seem to always end up fighting.
 
Having lost my sight didn’t help matters.
 
His mother has been trying to harm me, because of some long-held grudge against me.
 
Then he told me that I am responsible for his brother’s death.”