A Thousand Tomorrows & Just Beyond the Clouds Omnibus (53 page)

“Really?” Elle felt herself relax.

“Yes.”

Elle thought about her sister. Of course Daisy would’ve seen this a week ago. Hadn’t they all learned ages ago not to underestimate Daisy’s perception, her understanding of social settings?

There was a sound at the door, and Elle jumped up. She grabbed her backpack and kissed her mother on the cheek. For the briefest instant she hesitated, her eyes locked on her mother’s. “What if you’re right?” she whispered. Her heart beat in double time. “What if you’re both right?”

Her mother smiled and took her hand. “Then you pray for wisdom and proceed with caution.” She squeezed Elle’s hand and then released it. “And you thank God for breathing new life into that very special heart of yours. Even if it all amounts to nothing.”

E
LLE WAS WILLING
to sit in the backseat with her sister, but Daisy made a fairly dramatic show of pointing to the passenger seat, the one next to Cody. By the time Elle slid in next to him, Cody was hiding a sympathy laugh.

“Don’t worry about it.” He looked in his rearview mirror at Daisy and Carl Joseph. “They’re just excited.”

“It’ll be fun trying to keep them focused enough to stay on the trail.” Elle sat back in her seat. The inside of his truck reeked of cologne, and she sniffed a few times.

“It’s my brother.” Cody aimed his thumb toward the backseat. “You know… two capfuls of cologne.”

“Ooops.” Elle winced and allowed a quiet laugh. “We haven’t talked about that in our social graces class.”

Cody blinked, as if his eyes were burning from the smell. “When you do, Carl Joseph can be the poster boy.”

They both laughed, and Cody turned up the radio. It was a country song by Lonestar, and Elle found the lyrics fitting. Something about how the Lord gave people mountains so they could learn how to climb. If that were true, she and Cody should be experts by now.

She looked at Cody, but only for a moment. She was keenly aware of every move he made. The muscles in his shoulders as he turned the wheel, and the details of his handsome profile. She’d Googled him last night and found that Cody Gunner was definitely a legend in bull-riding circles. One Web site said, “To this day, no one has ridden a bull the way Cody Gunner rode. He is bigger than life in and out of the arena, and it’ll be a long time before someone else takes his place.”

Indeed. That’s what she was sensing from him today. The larger-than-life part. Being in his presence here made it hard for her to breathe. And yet for all his professional reputation, the world didn’t see what she’d seen. What he’d let her see on a starry night sitting on a bluff at the far end of his parents’ ranch.

They reached the parking lot, and when they climbed out
Elle was suddenly aware of Cody’s height. This was the first time she’d been around him in anything but high-heeled shoes.

“Ready?” He gave her a quick grin and then patted his brother’s back.

“Ready, over and out!” Carl Joseph saluted.

Daisy laughed and did a salute of her own. “CJ, you’re so funny!”

Elle mouthed the words, “Oh, brother,” for Cody’s benefit. Then they set out for the trailhead.

For the first part of the hike, Cody took the lead and Elle brought up the rear. She wanted to make sure there were no problems with Daisy and Carl Joseph keeping to the trail or falling behind. After an hour they found a clearing and took a break. Carl Joseph and Daisy walked over to a patch of clover.

“Over here, CJ. I have a new move for you.”

“Dancing in the clover!” Carl Joseph clapped and bounced a few times. “ ’Cause I like dancing in the clover.”

“Yeah, but this is a dance move from class, CJ. So come here.”

Carl Joseph went to her, and Daisy started the impromptu lesson.

“They love to dance.” Cody bit into an apple and handed a second one to Elle.

She took it and thanked him. “Yes. Sometimes I wish when we do the addition to the facility, we could add a dance room, too. That way they could see themselves in the mirror.” She angled her head and looked at their siblings.
“That could help a lot with body control, just knowing how they look.”

Cody sat on a chair-sized boulder. He was quiet for a minute, staring at Carl Joseph and Daisy. Finally he drew a long breath. “They look pretty happy.”

“They do.” She was standing a few feet from him. “Thanks, by the way.”

“For what?” He took another bite of his apple.

“Bringing Carl Joseph today. I’m sure the doctor wasn’t crazy about the idea.”

“No.” A sad smile lifted Cody’s lips. “But he told us we couldn’t protect Carl Joseph from everything.” He turned to her. “My parents are thinking about talking to the other doctor, the one you recommended.”

Elle felt a surge of hope. “That’s what we’re praying for.”

“Good.” He patted the spot next to him. “Sit down. We won’t have another rest until we reach the top.” He grinned. “The planner of this hike’s a real taskmaster.”

She laughed and sat next to him. As she did, her arm brushed against his, and the sensation made her dizzy. She gave him a teasing look. “We can go slower if you can’t handle it.”

“No, no.” He held up his half-eaten apple. “My one lung’s better than two of yours. Don’t worry about me.”

“Ugh.” She dropped her head in her hands. How come she hadn’t thought of that? Here she was pushing Carl Joseph and Daisy up the hill, encouraging them to keep the pace, and she hadn’t once thought about Cody’s limitations. She peered at him through her fingers. “I completely forgot. I’m sorry.”

“Nah.” He dropped the pretense and patted her knee.
“I’m fine, really. Just teasing. I went a whole season of bull riding with one lung. I can certainly hike up a mountain.”

“I guess.” She still felt bad, but before she could say anything more about it, Daisy and Carl Joseph began waving at them.

“So”—Cody searched her eyes—“I told you my story. What about you? Never married?” His expression changed. “Sorry. You don’t have to answer that.”

“No, it’s fine.” She leaned back on her hands. She watched her sister and Carl Joseph, still working on the dance step. She took a long breath. “I never dated much through school. My only real love was the principal of the first school I taught at. His name was Trace.”

She hadn’t told the story often, and it didn’t come easily now. She stayed with the main details, how after a year of friendship with Trace, she took a transfer to another school so they could date. Cody listened closely, though her story sounded like any other until she got to the part about the wedding.

“The rumor was that Trace was gay.” She squinted against the glaring pain of her past. “I guess I didn’t want to believe it. And after we started dating, I had no reason.”

Concern colored Cody’s expression. “He backed out of the wedding?”

“On our wedding day.” She smiled, but she knew it didn’t hide the hurt. “We had three hundred guests waiting for the music to start when I got his call.”

“Elle…” Cody looked sick to his stomach. He shifted, studying her. “That’s awful.”

“I should’ve seen it coming.” Elle lifted her chin and stared at a slice of blue through a patch of evergreens.

For a while Cody said nothing. Her story had that sort of effect on people. When he did speak, his tone was softer than before. “So you put everything you have into your work.”

“Yes.”

“Wow…” He anchored his elbows on his knees and stared at the ground. “I’ll bet you haven’t told that to many people.”

“No. Our friends and relatives think he had a nervous breakdown, a serious case of cold feet.”

“Whatever happened to him?”

“Last I heard he’d walked away from the gay lifestyle. He was getting counseling at a Christian center in San Francisco.”

Cody straightened, the concern still in his eyes. “How’d you get through it?”

“God alone.” She smiled at him, but her heart hurt. The way it always would when she talked about Trace. “I’ve got a good life. Rewarding. Fulfilling. It’s enough.”

“Hey…” Carl Joseph waved at them. “Come on, Brother. We have to teach you the dance!”

Elle let the sad feelings pass. She smiled at their siblings. “They’re quite a pair.”

“They are.” Cody chuckled. “Looks like it’s lesson time.”

“Come on!” Carl Joseph tipped his head back and laughed with the abandon of a child. He twirled Daisy, and she ducked to get under his arm. In the process, she tripped and almost fell, but Carl Joseph caught her.

Elle smiled. People with Down Syndrome were limited
in so many areas. But in so many of the ways that mattered, they weren’t limited at all.

“I’m the teacher this time.” Daisy ran up and took Elle’s hand. When Elle was on her feet, Daisy motioned for Cody. “Come on.” She pointed to the patch of clover. “We all have to dance because that’s a good dance floor.”

Cody followed along, but he shot Elle a wary look. “I can’t dance.”

“Yes, Brother, ’cause I’ll teach you.” Carl Joseph met them halfway and helped lead Cody to the middle of the patch.

“Start like this.” Daisy put one hand in Carl Joseph’s hand, and the other on his shoulder. “Go on.” She nodded to Elle. “Like me and CJ.”

Elle turned to Cody and made a face. The moment was more humorous than awkward, but even so she didn’t want Cody to feel forced into anything he wasn’t comfortable with. “I don’t think we have a choice.”

“No.” He straightened, feigning a proper look, and he held out one hand. He placed the other on her shoulder. His voice was too low for their siblings to hear. “I warned you. I have two left feet.”

“Okay, here’s the beat.” Daisy was still in Carl Joseph’s arms. She used her hand to set the rhythm. “Five, six, seven, eight.” Moving slowly and deliberately, they took a step together and then a step apart. Daisy pointed at their feet. She jumped in place a few times. “Do that!”

Cody imitated the steps.

“Do it better!” She laughed at the two of them.

“We’re trying.” Elle giggled. “Give us a break.”

One step after another Elle and Cody played along, following Daisy’s instruction. Partway through the number, Carl Joseph began to hum, and Cody dipped his head near Elle’s. “I love that kid.”

“I know.” She spoke low near his face. “Me, too. He’s been so good for Daisy.”

The humor of the moment faded, and Elle could think only of how good she felt. Her hand was warm in Cody’s, and they were close enough that once in a while she could feel his breath on her face. When she wasn’t focused on the dance steps, she felt dizzy from the nearness of him. New feelings, brand-new emotions were taking root in her heart and soul, and she could do nothing to stop them.

“How’re we doing, Buddy?” Cody looked over his shoulder at Carl Joseph. “Doing okay?”

Carl Joseph stopped and watched them for a few beats. He gave a firm nod and pushed his glasses back up his nose. “ ’Cause this is your first time.”

“Very good for the first time.” Daisy smiled. “Keep making music, CJ.”

The dance continued, and Elle couldn’t help but savor the feel of it. After Trace, she hadn’t imagined herself ever feeling this way again. But here she was on a mountainside overlooking Colorado Springs, dancing on a patch of clover in Cody Gunner’s arms, and suddenly nothing felt impossible.

“All right now, spin!” Daisy did a spin beneath Carl Joseph’s arms again, only this time she added a second spin. The move didn’t look smooth, but they managed it without tripping or falling.

Cody wore a look of concentration as he tried to copy his brother’s move, but in the process his feet got in the way and Elle tripped over them. She let out a cry and fell forward into his arms. He caught her around her waist, and for a moment it seemed they’d both fall to the ground. But he steadied himself and they burst out laughing.

“Brother.” Carl Joseph stopped and stared at them. He gave Cody a mildly disgusted look. “That is not how you do it.”

“Really?” Cody leaned his head against hers. He was laughing so hard he still seemed unsteady, and she was doing the same. He had one hand on the small of her back, the other up between her shoulders.

As they caught their breath, their eyes met, and Cody seemed to realize the way he was holding her. The laughter faded, and something different filled his eyes. A mix of desire and unbridled fear. She felt the change, too. What were they doing, standing here this way, their faces inches from each other? At the same time, she felt something brush against her middle finger. She didn’t have to look to know what it was.

Cody’s wedding ring.

He must’ve realized what she was feeling, because he took a step back and moved his hands to her shoulders. The laughter returned to his eyes, and the intimacy of the moment passed. Clearly, he wasn’t going to talk about the ring or why—after four years—he was still wearing it.

And Elle wouldn’t either. She fixed her hair and nodded at Cody’s feet. “You did warn me.”

“I did.” He dropped his hands to his sides. He was back to the confident, easygoing Cody, the one he’d just recently
allowed her to know. But at least he wasn’t shutting her off, frightened by their moment of intimacy.

And that’s what it had been, no question. Even if it lasted only a couple of heartbeats, Elle had seen in his eyes, his expression, that he wondered about her as much as she wondered about him. The knowing was enough to take her breath.